ID: 13346
Tech
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
ID: 13347
Tech
"Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
ID: 16064
Tech
There was a mad scientist (a mad ...social... scientist) who kidnapped three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water - but no can opener.
A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's cell and found it long empty. The engineer had constructed a can opener from pocket trash, used aluminum shavings and dried sugar to make an explosive, and escaped.
The physicist had worked out the angle necessary to knock the lids off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall. She was developing a good pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising solution to the kissing problem; his dessicated corpse was propped calmly against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor in blood:
Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
Proof: assume the opposite...
ID: 17974
Tech
A Windows customer said when he closes his windows, they disappear.
ID: 16121
Tech
Believe it or not, Windows95 is not a virus, as many (millions) have claimed. You want proof? Look no further!
What's the difference between Windows95 and a virus?
Quality
Replicates Quickly
Virus: Yes
Windows95: Yes
Uses up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so
Virus: Yes
Windows95: Yes
Occasional hard disk destruction
Virus: Yes
Windows95: Yes
Usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems
Virus: Yes
Windows95:Yes
Will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow and the user will buy new hardware
Virus:Yes
Windows95:Yes
Occasional meltdown of vital components
Virus:Yes
Windows95:Yes
Until now it seems Windows is a virus, but there are several fundamental differences.
Viruses:
1.are well supported by their authors
2.are running on most systems
3.have fast, compact and efficient source code
4.become more sophisticated as they mature
ID: 17324
Tech
Once upon a time in a land where everyone updates there Facebook status every 5 seconds, there was a young girl named Isabel. When Isabel was reading her cereal box, she thought "Oh.Maybe I should check my Facebook." So Isabel walked over to her Mac and sat down. She typed in Facebook.com and clicked enter. But when she tried to sign in, it said "cookies required." "Okay." Isabel said so she walked into the kitchen and over to the cupboard and looked for some cookies. But she did not find any. So Isabel went to Hyvee with her mom and bought some cookie mix. 10 minutes later she had some cookies.So Isabel got her dads hand saw and sawed the Mac in half. Afterwards, she stuffed every single crumb of cookie inside that computer,and duct taped it back together
ID: 16217
Tech
The following is a list of undocumented Windows 95 error codes which somehow got overlooked when printing the documentation.
---------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------
WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger [Purchased Win95?]
WinErr 002: No Error - Yet
WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside
WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside
WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ?
WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
WinErr 01A: Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.
WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.
WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available
ID: 16042
Tech
Is zero a 1-digit number or a 0-digit number, or neither?
You may think that 0 is a 1-digit number. However, this will make 00 a 2-digit number, 000 a 3-digit number, and so on. Leading zeros do not count towards the digits, and 0 itself is a leading zero.
If you think that 0 is a 0-digit number, you're still wrong. 100 is a 3-digit number, 10 is a 2-digit number, 1 is a 1-digit number, and therefore, .1 is a 0-digit number, .01 is a -1-digit number, and so on. Therefore, the number of digits of a real number x is 1+int(lgx). Since lg0 is meaningless, the number of digits of 0 can't be defined.
ID: 16418
Tech
How many diagonals does an N-polygon have?
N(N-3)/2.
+10,000 Jokes