ID: 14375
Tech
A plain computer illeterate SARDAR rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
Sardaar: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
Sardaar: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
Sardaar: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the Sardaar is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Sardaar: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Le me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
Sardaar: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Sardaar: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
Sardaar: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
Sardaar: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
Sardaar: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.COM
ID: 16624
Tech
The Fibonacci sequence 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21... starts with two 1's, and each term afterward is the sum of its two predecessors.
Which one of the ten digits is the last to appear in the units position of a number in the Fibonacci sequence?
Just write out their units digits, and mark the digits that appear for the first time.
(1), 1, (2), (3), (5), (8), 3, 1, (4), 5, (9), 4, 3, (7), (0), ...
Therefore, 6 is the last to appear.
ID: 17773
Tech
And the beast shall come forth surrounded by a roiling cloud of vengeance. The house of the unbelievers shall be razed and they shall be scorched to the earth. Their tags shall blink until the end of days.
ID: 17969
Tech
WIKIPEDIA: I know everything.
GOOGLE: I have everything.
FACEBOOK: I know everybody.
INTERNET : You're all nothing without me.
ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!
ID: 17426
Tech
A mathematician, an engineer and a chemist are at a conference. They are staying in adjoining rooms. One evening they are downstairs in the bar. The mathematician goes to bed first. The chemist goes next, followed a minute or two later by the engineer. The chemist notices that in the corridor outside their rooms a rubbish bin is ablaze. There is a bucket of water nearby. The chemist starts concocting a means of generating carbon dioxide in order to create a makeshift extinguisher but before he can do so the engineer arrives, dumps the water on the fire and puts it out. The next morning the chemist and engineer tell the mathematician about the fire. She admits she saw it. They ask her why she didn't put it out. She replies contemptuously "there was a fire and a bucket of water: a solution obviously existed."
ID: 17781
Tech
How did the person take over the remote?
He asked for remote CONTROLS!
ID: 17337
Tech
A boy named Ronald bought a Xbox for Christmas. 7 months later, the Xbox broke. He knew he needed to replace it with a new one, but the shop where he bought it was closed down in favor for a shoe store.
He went to the new console shop which was just a kilometer away. He saw an Xbox and he knew he got enough money for it, so he said he wanted an Xbox and the cashier said: "Your Xbox will be delivered in 2 or 3 days." In 2 days, the doorbell rang. He knew it is the Xbox he ordered. Outside was a man with glasses, holding a box where Ronald thought inside was an Xbox, but when he opened it, he was shocked.
It was a box marked with an X on the cover and inside was a game for Xbox only. Thus a bad discussion went through:
"I said I want an Xbox!"
"That is your Xbox with a game for Xbox also!"
"But it's a box with an X marked on it. I want the Xbox!"
"But that's your Xbox!"
"The digital type!"
"Ohhhh! I will call the president of our company. Maybe he can fix the problem."
After 2 weeks, he got another box but this time, the man with glasses didn't appear. The box was just sitting there, on the rocky path to the door. He picked it up. It seemed to be heavy. When he opened it, a letter with an Anvil said:
Dear Ronald
I know you wanted an Xbox but the one you might have seen in the store, the digital one, was reserved for someone else before you asked for it. Send me a letter back if you want to know who owns it.
So Ronald sent a letter to the president. After a while, the reply came to Ronald. It was a very rude letter:
Dear Ronald
The Xbox belonged to me, because I was really poor and just stole money to buy the store and Xbox. It's busted now, so you can never have it!
Ronald was very angry. Then he told the police to put a "pretend" bill to the president for breaking the Xbox.
ID: 16922
Tech
Are the Wocka ads annoying you? This is an updated version to tell you how to block them. It might take too long for you to reach the 5000 point milestone and therefore automatically get rid of the ads.
If they do annoy you, here's a way to remove them:
1. Open "my computer", locate the windows directory (for example, C:\windows).
2. Enter its subdirectory system32\drivers\etc (the full path might be something like C:\windows\system32\drivers\etc). You can find a file named "host".
3. Use the "notepad" (which is being used to open .txt files) to open this file, and add these lines:
127.0.0.1 pagead2.googlesyndication.com
127.0.0.1 media.fastclick.net
127.0.0.1 www.burstnet.com
4. Save it, and shut down all your existing IE windows.
5. Open your IE again, and enter Wocka. You won't see the annoying ads anymore (although the google search will be still there.)
6. If you still have any questions, please send me a private message.
7. Enjoy it!
ID: 17775
Tech
And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.
+10,000 Jokes