ID: 7765
Tech
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) were out driving, when their car broke down, and they couldn't get it started.
The mechanical engineer suggested that it was a failure somewhere in the drive train, but after checking it out he found that the engine and transmission were fine.
The electrical engineer thought it might be the ignition system; lifted the hood, checked for a spark, and found that everything was OK.
The MCSE was driving, and suddenly gets out of the car, slams the door, opens the hood and looks inside, slams that, gets back into the car, opens and closes all the windows and looks at his passengers and says, "There, it should start right up now..."
ID: 17969
Tech
WIKIPEDIA: I know everything.
GOOGLE: I have everything.
FACEBOOK: I know everybody.
INTERNET : You're all nothing without me.
ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!
ID: 16822
Tech
A woman named Denise couldn't read her book. Her daughter Kelly was clicking away on the computer, but this time she was talking in a strange voice.
Denise decided to go check on what Kelly was doing. "Kelly," she said in a stern tone, "I told you no talking on the computer when I'm trying to read!"
Her daughter looked confused. "What? It was just the man with the Apple iPhone."
The next day the Apple iPhone arrived, but Kelly was grounded from her computer for a month. Denise tried to read, but yet again Kelly was talking in that strange voice. She said the same thing to Kelly, but she simply responded, "What? It's just the man with the Wii."
The Wii arrived the next day and Kelly was now grounded from every electronic system there ever was. But Kelly was still talking in that voice! Denise was steaming now and threatened to ground Kelly for a year. "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?" Denise yelled.
Kelly was trembling, but calmly she said, "It's Dad. He's been talking right next to me every day."
ID: 17934
Tech
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
ID: 17931
Tech
I used facebook for a few days and got addicted to it.
I've been studying since I was 6. Why the hell am I not addicted to it?
ID: 16624
Tech
The Fibonacci sequence 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21... starts with two 1's, and each term afterward is the sum of its two predecessors.
Which one of the ten digits is the last to appear in the units position of a number in the Fibonacci sequence?
Just write out their units digits, and mark the digits that appear for the first time.
(1), 1, (2), (3), (5), (8), 3, 1, (4), 5, (9), 4, 3, (7), (0), ...
Therefore, 6 is the last to appear.
ID: 13347
Tech
"Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
ID: 15725
Tech
A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy.
Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.
ID: 17782
Tech
Have you ever had those days when your computer fucking sucks?
Now you have a poem to say!
I'm gonna get some Coke and a snack,
This should be FUCKING WORKING by the time I get back.
+10,000 Jokes