TECH

ID: 10710

Tech

The Fence

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution.

"No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:

"I define myself to be on the outside."

ID: 15209

Tech

The Ultimate Computer

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line.

When the guided tour arrived, a salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This baby here," he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. Ask it any question you wish and it will give you an intelligent answer."

A smartass stepped forward and asked the computer, "Where is my father?"

Immediately, the electronic gears went to work. Lights flashed, wheels buzzed and within seconds, a small card popped out. The card read, "Fishing Off Florida."

"Ha!" laughed the smartass. "Actually, my father is dead! That was a trick question."

The quick thinking salesman immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps he might like to try rephrasing his question and try again.

"Ok," the smartass said, "where is my mother's husband?"

Again there was a buzzing of wheels and flashing lights until a small card popped out. The card read, "Dead - and your father is still fishing off Florida."

ID: 17780

Tech

Remote

How dod the person take over the remote?

ID: 17931

Tech

Facebook

I used facebook for a few days and got addicted to it.

I've been studying since I was 6. Why the hell am I not addicted to it?

ID: 17969

Tech

Technically Bragging . . .

WIKIPEDIA: I know everything.

GOOGLE: I have everything.

FACEBOOK: I know everybody.

INTERNET : You're all nothing without me.

ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!

ID: 17974

Tech

Windows.

A Windows customer said when he closes his windows, they disappear.

ID: 17948

Tech

DEAD! THEY'RE ALL DEAD! Must Read Before YOU Die!

wocka is dead. no one comments anymore. no one submits jokes anymore.

Can someone fix these glitches?-
-when I write a comment and click on submit, half the time, the comment is not posted no matter how many times I try to re-post.
-Even if I select "show all" for the full comments list, the hidden comments dont show up. wtf?

I'm sorry this IS the only way I can get some attention since the forum is a ghost town.

ID: 16145

Tech

Assorted Windows95 One-Liners 11

The best way to accelerate Windows is through one.

ID: 18054

Tech

My Smartphone

I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I'm still working.

VIEW MORE ON APP