ID: 1334
Sports
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me -- if there is baseball in heaven."
They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers the spirit of Abe.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe says, "I got good news and I got bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
ID: 758
Sports
What's the definition of Endless Love?
Stevie Wonder playing Ray Charles at Tennis!
Endless Love!
ID: 6962
Sports
What does the "O" and the "N" stand for in 'CLEMSON'?
The "O" is for honor, and the "N" for knowledge.
ID: 1159
Sports
On a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger. "Frickin 'eck" says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!".
ID: 6728
Sports
Recently a family court judge was interviewing a 15 yr. old boy, asking him which parent he wanted to live with, his mother or father? The kid said he didn't want to live with either one -- that both of them beat him all the time. The kid said he wanted to live with the Dallas Cowboys -- they never beat anybody!
ID: 7069
Sports
Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back!
ID: 11141
Sports
An older couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses; they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, "I can't believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my 'willy'." The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"
ID: 421
Sports
The bartender at our golf club named a drink Lilac Crazy in honour of one of the members.
Every time the member came to the 19th hole, that's exactly what he did.
ID: 1328
Sports
Dick brings a friend to play golf with two of his buddies to complete a foursome. His buddies ask him if his friend can play golf. Dick says that he is very good.
This guy hits the ball on the first hole in the bush, so his buddies look at him and say, "You said your friend was a good golfer." Dick says "Yes, he is watch him play." They see the ball come out of the bush on the green. This guy takes two putts to make par.
Second hole is par 3. This guy hits the ball into the lake. The two buddies looks at Dick again and say "You said this guy was good" Dick replies that this guy was a great player.
So the guy walks into the the lake. Three minutes later they can't see the guy. All of a sudden they see a hand come out of the water. They tell Dick to dive in the lake to go get his friend, he's drowning. Dick replies "No, that means he wants a 5 iron".
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