ID: 17195
Sports
Press Release
Scare At Adelaide F.C. (Football Club) Headquarters
Training at West Lakes was delayed nearly two hours late this morning, after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the ground.
Initially the Club thought it was a prank!
Team manager Neil Craig immediately suspended training, while police and the ASIO (Australia Special Investigations Office) were called to investigate.
After a complete analysis, SA Police forensic experts determined that the white substance, unfamiliar to most of the players, was in fact, the goal line.
Practice will resume this afternoon after police and ASIO decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
ID: 2464
Sports
Bumper sticker: BE KIND TO ANIMALS. HUG A HOCKEY PLAYER.
ID: 1324
Sports
He was a smooth operator, and at the club's annual dance he attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and was boasting to her.
"You know, they're all afraid to play me. What do you think my handicap is?"
"Well, where do you want me to start ?" came the quick response.
ID: 15652
Sports
Does it seem strange to you that the Olympics, the oldest and most famous sporting event, is the one televised event that the competitors don't get cash. In fact, if you have ever made any money at all of your sport, you are disqualified. Its like, you win a gold medal and your like "So, what's my reward?" and they're like "this nice shiny medal." "you mean I don't get any money at all?" "no we frown upon that." "so I wasted a week of my life for nothing?" "but you get this shiny medal" "but-" "SHINY!" I tell you that medal would be on e-bay so fast. And did you ever notice how they have a count of what countries have the most medals? The U.S. always wins but then again, we're like 49 countries for the price of 1. Wyoming doesn't count towards our athletes because lets face it, smoky bears not gettin' any younger. You know, the Olympics always managed to keep the old traditions alive like lighting the torch, but why couldn't they keep the "players perform in the nude" tradition. You can't find a single naked Olympian these days, well unless you count Amanda Beard.
ID: 6442
Sports
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Falcons fan, an Eagles fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.
Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Patriots fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the New England Patriots!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.
Not to be outdone by a Patriots fan, the Falcons fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Atlanta Falcons!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice.
Refusing to be outdone by the Patriots and Falcons fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This is for the Pittsburgh Steelers!" and without hesitation, pushed the Philadelphia Eagles fan off the mountain.
ID: 8464
Sports
Why were the police at the baseball game?
Because someone stole second base!
ID: 9820
Sports
Amy was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a game on TV. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this, there's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season tickets."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not bothering to look away from the game.
Amy said teasingly, "Would you swap me for season tickets?"
"Absolutely not," he said, "season's more than half over."
ID: 6962
Sports
What does the "O" and the "N" stand for in 'CLEMSON'?
The "O" is for honor, and the "N" for knowledge.
ID: 16366
Sports
Soccer Coach: Why didn't you stop the ball?
New Goalie: I thought that was what the net was for!
+10,000 Jokes