ID: 13875
Sports
1986. Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
1991. Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
1976. Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: "They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free."
1996. Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
1991. Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any more bowl games.'"
1986. LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys so many tickets."
1981. Dorothy Shula, on the career dedication of her husband, the Miami Dolphins' coach: "I'm fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral."
1976. Mike Newlin, Houston Rocket guard, after a game his team lost to the New York Nets: "We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity."
ID: 1333
Sports
Bill and Ralph meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. Bill has a little dog with him and on the next green, when Bill holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs.
Ralph is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt?" Bill replies, "Somersaults."
Ralph exclaims, "Somersaults! How many of them does it do?" Bill calmly replies, "Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it up the ass!"
ID: 3910
Sports
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
ID: 4863
Sports
What is the name of the baseball player who sits under a tree?
Babe Root!
ID: 1325
Sports
Bill and Ralph, both of equal ability, decide to have a round together and "play it as it lays" on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 first hole down the middle and about 260 yards. They drive up for the second shot, and Bill hits his shot down the middle for an easy approach, but Ralph slices his over the trees and it ends up in the cart path of the adjoining hole.
"Guess I get a free drop from the cart path," he says. "Oh no," says Bill, "We agreed. Play it as it lays." So Ralph drives Bill up to his ball in front of the green, drops him off and drives over to his ball on the cart path. Bill watches in amusement as sparks shower down from the practice swings of his opponent, then, in amazement as a perfectly struck shot lands on the green and rolls to within 3 ft. of the pin. Ralph drives back to the green.
Bill says, "Great shot back there! What club did you use?" Ralph responds, "Your six iron."
ID: 3912
Sports
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
ID: 3916
Sports
In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers. They shoot a six, yell fore, and write five.
ID: 1586
Sports
Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She kept running away from the ball!!
ID: 2464
Sports
Bumper sticker: BE KIND TO ANIMALS. HUG A HOCKEY PLAYER.
+10,000 Jokes