ID: 384
Redneck
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
ID: 5981
Redneck
You have more than three first names.
You drove a monster truck to the prom.
You are marrying your brother-in-law.
You go out, get drunk, and come home with a tatoo of your momma's name.
Your last name is your first name spelled backwards
You are readiing these jokes!!!
ID: 7070
Redneck
1.Your tires cost more than your car.
2.You have a motor hanging out of your tree.
3.Your trailer house tires work but your car tires don't.
5.You write the girl of your dreams name on the tower and then the sheriff makes you take your sisters name off of it.
6.You call your undies britches.
7.The whole town is related to you.
8.You got more trailers than cars.
9.You kill your sisters boyfriends because they're trying to take her away from you.
10. Your haven't had "School learning" because you don't now how to count.
(You missed that there was no number 4.)
Credit to BLUE COLLAR TV
ID: 2675
Redneck
One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens.' The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire.' But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing.
Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing.' The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch some ducks.' The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duct tape!' The son insisted that he knew what he was doing.
Awhile later, the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he does know what he's doing!' The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of pussywillows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'
ID: 10614
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your kids are named after the car they were made in.
ID: 414
Redneck
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone's gonna lose a trailer.
ID: 10425
Redneck
You know you're a redneck if you have season tickets for the tractor pull.
ID: 8309
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
Your shotgun is named after your girlfriend.
ID: 7975
Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:
1. The season opened today
2. There is no limit
3. They taste just like chicken
4. They don't like beer, pickups, Harley Davidson's, country music or Jesus
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt
This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK
+10,000 Jokes