ID: 1206
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers!"
ID: 8340
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever held a lifelong grudge over a spelling bee.
ID: 6576
Redneck
Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?"
"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
ID: 10858
Redneck
You think "Going the extra mile" means using toothpaste.
You take a bar of soap to your local pool.
Your dentures have fillings.
Your idea of conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.
Your wife has ever burnt out an electric razor.
Your medical plan is not to get sick.
ID: 10614
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your kids are named after the car they were made in.
ID: 15656
Redneck
You Know You Are in a Redneck Church When...
People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".
Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"
ID: 10742
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your dog is in your bed more than your wife.
ID: 9534
Redneck
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father.
So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."
ID: 9761
Redneck
Redneck Christmas Shopping
You know you're a redneck when...
you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
+10,000 Jokes