ID: 9403
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your baby stroller consists of a potato sack and a wheelbarrow.
ID: 13452
Redneck
An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded yes, so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.
The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down, and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke?"
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "and put it on my bill."
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of backflips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the redneck. The redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"
ID: 12609
Redneck
Minners - Live bait.
Misrus - Married woman.
Nar - Opposite of wide.
Nayk - Your head sets on it.
Nup – No.
Orrel - Them hinges need orrel.
Ormy - What the sojers go in.
Pank - A light red color.
Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow.
Petition - What separate the rooms.
Poke - A paper bag or sack.
Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in.
Salit - A green vegetable.
Puppet - What the preacher is in.
Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher.
Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig.
Rang - You wear it on your fanger.
Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts.
Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town.
ID: 14326
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you were married in a laundromat.
ID: 10938
Redneck
You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.
You name your car the General Lee.
You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.
ID: 13080
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
On stag night, you take a real deer.
You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
Your back porch is bigger than your house.
There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.
You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
ID: 10661
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
...your porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.
...you see your family reunion as a way to meet girls.
...you marry three times and still have the same in-laws.
ID: 11039
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your swimsuit is your bra and underwear.
ID: 10742
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your dog is in your bed more than your wife.
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