ID: 10849
Redneck
Your current wife was a bridesmaid at your first wedding.
ID: 15248
Redneck
Just before a new redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick
you up."
The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened.
He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened.
As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself, "I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"
ID: 16268
Redneck
Billy Bob caught his friend Bubba searching high and low all around his living room.
Billy Bob said, "What are you searching for?" Bubba replies, "Hidden cameras!" "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" says Billy Bob.
Bubba said, "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why, every few minutes he says, 'You are watching MTV!' How does he know that?"
ID: 14890
Redneck
- You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
- Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
- You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
- You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
- You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
- You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
- You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
- There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
ID: 15795
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
You can talk for more than 20 minutes on the difference between squirrel and rabbit stew.
ID: 15766
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.
ID: 15162
Redneck
A detachment of paratroopers was practicing in a rural area. One jumper landed on the property of an old mountain man and his very large family.
One of the kids saw the chute floating down and yelled out to his father, "Pa, bring your shotgun. The stork is bringing 'em full grown now!"
ID: 15781
Redneck
...you've ever had to have a wrecker pull your car out of a pothole in your driveway.
ID: 15260
Redneck
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the U.S.?
It has four "A"s and a "B".
+10,000 Jokes