ID: 10348
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your toenail clippers say craftsman on the side!
ID: 14737
Redneck
- Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
- You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
- You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
- You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
- You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
- You don't think Jeff's Foxworthy's jokes are funny.
- Every time you see a roadsign that says "DIP" you reach in your back pocket.
- You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
ID: 7917
Redneck
Once there was a redneck groom about to get married. As he puts on the beaver pelt suit, he is talking to his dad. "Hey Uncle Jim, I'm kind of worried. My fiance told me she's still a virgin."
"Why is that an issue?" the dad says.
"Well, if she isn't good enough for her family, why would she be good enough for ours?"
ID: 3162
Redneck
1.Your richest relative buys an "expensive" house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
2.You refer to the sixth grade as graduation.
3.Your wife's new hairdo gets destroyed by the ceiling fan.
4.Your front porch collapses and hurts more than three dogs.
ID: 5980
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you list your dog or cat as a dependent on your taxes.
You might be a redneck if you have never been on a main road.
You might be a redneck if you drive a minivan to the prom.
You might be a redneck if the most expensive jewelery you have came from Dollar General.
ID: 8312
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever searched for gold in your grandpa's chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.
ID: 1206
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers!"
ID: 2133
Redneck
Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
he paints the starship John Deere green
he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies
he sets phaser to "Cajun"
ID: 9403
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your baby stroller consists of a potato sack and a wheelbarrow.
+10,000 Jokes