ID: 7975
Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:
1. The season opened today
2. There is no limit
3. They taste just like chicken
4. They don't like beer, pickups, Harley Davidson's, country music or Jesus
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt
This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK
ID: 15060
Redneck
Bubba finally agreed to take his wife, Sue Ellen, to a play. They had hardly sat down when he jumped up and said "Sue Ellen, we gotta go!"
With Sue Ellen in tow, Bubba stomped out to the foyer, demanded his money back, and they left the theater.
When they got out onto the sidewalk, Sue Ellen said, "Now you tell me what's wrong, Bubba Leroy, and you tell me right now, or I ain't goin' another step."
Bubba said, "Sue Ellen, I ain't no fool and I'm an only child. We done paid $20 of egg money for this here play and I heard somebody say that the second act was 10 years later! We ain't got that kinda money to be wastin' on play actin' when we ain't even sure where we gonna be in 10 years."
ID: 89
Redneck
What do you call 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth!
ID: 6398
Redneck
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Marie got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Marie didn't get pregnant again!"
Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' Marie with me..."
ID: 6377
Redneck
If your dog farts and YOU claim it... you might be a redneck.
ID: 90
Redneck
One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.
When he asked, the man said, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight."
The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replied the man, "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this here sack I'll give them both to you."
ID: 14206
Redneck
90 percent of people in Idaho say, "Oh shit!" when in a car wreck, The other ten percent say, "Hold my beer and watch this shit!"
ID: 14325
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you carry more than two extra tires in the back of your truck.
ID: 10657
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your honeymoon was at the family farm.
+10,000 Jokes