ID: 4212
Redneck
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Mobile, Alabama to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
ID: 10848
Redneck
You used a cheat sheet during your hunter's safety test.
ID: 13843
Redneck
You might be a redneck if at your wedding your tux has a sign on the back that says "sponsored by Bubba's Chicken and Waffles!"
ID: 10926
Redneck
You might be a redneck if for your prom you wore a strapless dress but wore a bra that wasn't.
ID: 10938
Redneck
You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.
You name your car the General Lee.
You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.
ID: 12483
Redneck
In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.
The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face, she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
ID: 10962
Redneck
If you name your kids after dead family pets you just might be a redneck!
ID: 14295
Redneck
What breaks up a redneck orgy?
When mom and dad/uncle arrive home too soon.
ID: 13271
Redneck
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love sent to me
12- Pack of Bud
11 Rasslin' Tickets
10 tins of Copenhagen
9 Years Probation
8 Holey vests
7 Kissing Cousins
6 Cans of Spam
5 Hunting Hounds
4 Mudgrip tyres
3 Shot Gun Shells
2 more Gaps in Teeth
And some parts to a Mustang GT
+10,000 Jokes