ID: 15778
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.
ID: 7975
Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:
1. The season opened today
2. There is no limit
3. They taste just like chicken
4. They don't like beer, pickups, Harley Davidson's, country music or Jesus
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt
This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK
ID: 8334
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've shaved off your eyebrows and taped them to a little kid's back.
ID: 6214
Redneck
1. You know you're a redneck when you go out with your girlfriend and you don't realize she has her other boyfriend with her.
2. You know you're a redneck when you use a barstool as a walker.
3. You know you're a redneck when your mowing your lawn and you find a car.
4. You know you're a redneck when you fall asleep with one hand down your pants and a beer in the other hand.
ID: 5980
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you list your dog or cat as a dependent on your taxes.
You might be a redneck if you have never been on a main road.
You might be a redneck if you drive a minivan to the prom.
You might be a redneck if the most expensive jewelery you have came from Dollar General.
ID: 10429
Redneck
You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.
ID: 4168
Redneck
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Milby's.
The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and each put a label on their forehead.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
ID: 10816
Redneck
"Rusty Bed Spings" by I.P Nitely
"Fell off a Cliff" By Ilene Dover
"Bounce of a Brick Wall" by Rick O'Shey
"Mini Skirts" by Seymour Buttz
"Race to the Outhouse" By Willie Makit"
and last but not least
"Guide to One Night Stands" by Juan Teboneya"
ID: 7625
Redneck
Wonder if you are a redneck....Well, if you have been married four times and still have the same in-laws you must be.
+10,000 Jokes