ID: 14333
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you constantly call the feed and seed store to see if the cat has had her kittens yet.
ID: 15656
Redneck
You Know You Are in a Redneck Church When...
People wonder, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".
Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, yah hear?"
ID: 15047
Redneck
How many dicks can a redneck girl take at a time?
It depends on how many brothers she has.
ID: 16825
Redneck
This is a collection of a few of the Redneck lines I've heard (and can remember) over the years . . .
You know you're a redneck when:
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator.
Your shopping list only has beer on it.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
You mow your lawn and find a car.
Your "pet" eats more than you.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You refer to sixth grade as "your senior year".
You refer Chuck Norris as: God, Santa Claus, and the Harvest Man.
ID: 10849
Redneck
Your current wife was a bridesmaid at your first wedding.
ID: 15249
Redneck
"If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners.
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits."
ID: 14334
Redneck
You might be a redneck if your father-in-law said that you had no class, so you spit at him.
ID: 10841
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a birthday present out of a vending machine.
ID: 15253
Redneck
Ah - The things you see with.
Ay-rab - The people who inhabit much of North Africa.
Bidness - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it.
Bobbycue - A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, coleslaw, and a fiery sauce.
Bud - Small feathered creature that flies.
Chekatawfarya - Heard at service stations in small Southern towns.
Co-Cola - Soft drink.
Crine - Weeping.
Dawfins - Name of the professional football team in Miami.
Doc - A condition caused by the absence of light.
Etlanna - The city General Sherman burned during the war for Southern independence.
Everthang - All-encompassing.
Foller - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.
Git - To acquire.
Goff - A game played with clubs and a little white ball.
+10,000 Jokes