ID: 14749
Redneck
If you use your rollaway tool box for your bedroom dresser.
If you are afraid to mow your lawn because you might find out where Grandma's been for the last two months.
ID: 8343
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever dislodged a sunflower seed from the corner of your eye.
ID: 8316
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
Your pet groundhog has ever bitten more than one of your thumbs off.
ID: 386
Redneck
40 Things Never Said By Southerners
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
ID: 10841
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a birthday present out of a vending machine.
ID: 414
Redneck
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone's gonna lose a trailer.
ID: 12582
Redneck
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.
"You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked.
"'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
ID: 10985
Redneck
If you have more pets than relatives you just might be a redneck.
ID: 10860
Redneck
You know your a redneck if...
You tell your kids the facts of life and they interrupt you with corrections.
You've ever given your date flowers from a cemetery.
You proposed at Denny's.
The biggest compliment you got at your wedding was how cute your baby was.
You had a marriage license before you had a drivers license.
You've ever reused wedding invitations.
The last thing your ex-wife ever said to you was "It's me or them dogs."
If your wedding invitations ever said "same time same place."
At your wedding reception you put Alka-Seltzer in cheap wine to get "Champagne."
+10,000 Jokes