ID: 10346
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you answer to more than one nickname.
ID: 8337
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you use a handful of creek mud as birth control.
ID: 8334
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've shaved off your eyebrows and taped them to a little kid's back.
ID: 11779
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you let your thirteen-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER two kids.
ID: 16827
Redneck
Got some more Redneck lines . . .
You know you're a Redneck when:
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
You have a Ku Klux Klan uniform somewhere in your trailer.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your amount of children is more than the amount of Oompa Loompas in Willy Wonka's factory.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of DDT on the kitchen table.
You've smashed a computer once, claiming it was a "scary robot from the future".
You've used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You've mistaken your wife for a bear.
You've attended a shotgun wedding.
ID: 13476
Redneck
There were two guys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to try some ice fishing.
They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off for up there. The lakes were frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to a lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."
So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."
Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the the guy left. In about an hour, he was back. "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."
The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"
"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."
ID: 9761
Redneck
Redneck Christmas Shopping
You know you're a redneck when...
you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
ID: 9322
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
You think the following is funny
You haven't read the joke "You are a Redneck If... #900".
ID: 10431
Redneck
You know you're a redneck if you paint your garage with a paintball gun.
+10,000 Jokes