ID: 11035
Redneck
you've ever called the towtruck on yourself because you couldn't afford gas.
ID: 12582
Redneck
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.
"You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked.
"'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
ID: 13476
Redneck
There were two guys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to try some ice fishing.
They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off for up there. The lakes were frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to a lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."
So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."
Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the the guy left. In about an hour, he was back. "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."
The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"
"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."
ID: 10849
Redneck
Your current wife was a bridesmaid at your first wedding.
ID: 10962
Redneck
If you name your kids after dead family pets you just might be a redneck!
ID: 10845
Redneck
You get homesick watching cops on TV.
ID: 10842
Redneck
You know you're a Redneck if.....
1. Your child's night-light is a neon beer sign.
2. The only running water in your house comes through the ceiling.
3. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
4. All your kids toys came free with a Happy Meal.
5. When you fill your car with gas, it's worth doubles.
6. You start a fight in a bar and your wife finishes it.
7. Your kids favourite bedtime story is "Curious George and the Electric fence"
8. You and your wife's family reunions are one and the same.
9. The Glamour Shots people give you your money back.
and last of all....
You know you're a redneck if
10.The FBI has more pictures of your family than you do.
ID: 10858
Redneck
You think "Going the extra mile" means using toothpaste.
You take a bar of soap to your local pool.
Your dentures have fillings.
Your idea of conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.
Your wife has ever burnt out an electric razor.
Your medical plan is not to get sick.
ID: 10816
Redneck
"Rusty Bed Spings" by I.P Nitely
"Fell off a Cliff" By Ilene Dover
"Bounce of a Brick Wall" by Rick O'Shey
"Mini Skirts" by Seymour Buttz
"Race to the Outhouse" By Willie Makit"
and last but not least
"Guide to One Night Stands" by Juan Teboneya"
+10,000 Jokes