ID: 10426
Redneck
You know you're a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.
ID: 3813
Redneck
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, that is true."
"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries ... is that true, mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"
"Cause I was thinkin' .... maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been wakin' up with!"
ID: 9299
Redneck
If you haven't read this joke
ID: 10429
Redneck
You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.
ID: 7625
Redneck
Wonder if you are a redneck....Well, if you have been married four times and still have the same in-laws you must be.
ID: 13452
Redneck
An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded yes, so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.
The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down, and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke?"
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "and put it on my bill."
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of backflips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the redneck. The redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"
ID: 8337
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you use a handful of creek mud as birth control.
ID: 15248
Redneck
Just before a new redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick
you up."
The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened.
He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened.
As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself, "I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"
ID: 10346
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you answer to more than one nickname.
+10,000 Jokes