ID: 17283
Redneck
Someone approaches you to say hi and your immediate response is, "You bet I am!"
ID: 8312
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever searched for gold in your grandpa's chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.
ID: 8382
Redneck
You should have no doubt in your mind that
you are in a redneck family.....
When your uncle drunkenly approaches you, slaps you on the back, grabs your face and murmurs "Heaeh kiiiiiiid, I think it's a good thing I used a condum.
And walks off slowy, mumbling. "Cause your mamoo gets realy piiist when she's pregnant........"
And in disbelief, you look around to find your mom.
ID: 6507
Redneck
One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, "Whatcha there reading Mister?"
The educated man replies, "It's a book about logic".
Confused, the redneck replies "Logic? What's logic?"
The educated man explains to the man, "Logic is the ability to come to a conclusion knowing only one fact. For example, do you own a weed whacker?"
The Redneck shouts, "Hell yeah I own a weed whacker!"
So the educated man continues, "Well, if you have a weed whacker, and I know you have a weed whacker, I know you have a lawn. If I know you have a lawn I know you have a house. If you have a house, demographically speaking I can deduce that you are a white male, 35-50 yrs old, and a heterosexual. Therefore, by knowing that you have a weed whacker I know that you are straight. Am I correct?"
The redneck responds flabbergasted "Hell yeah you're right! I'll be damned". So the redneck runs back to his friends to tell them about this crazy logic thing. His friend asks "Logic, what's logic?"
The redneck says, "Here, I'll show ya... Do you own a weed whacker?"
The friend replies "No, I don't"
The redneck screams, "FAGGOT!!!"
ID: 8443
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
You've ever carved a gunstock out of a bedpost.
ID: 3813
Redneck
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, that is true."
"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries ... is that true, mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"
"Cause I was thinkin' .... maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been wakin' up with!"
ID: 5069
Redneck
You know you're a redneck when you go to a family reunion to find a girlfriend.
ID: 10428
Redneck
You know you're a redneck if your bathroom towels are also your bathroom curtains.
ID: 10492
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you ride the electric floorbuffer and mistake it for your wife!!
+10,000 Jokes