REDNECK

ID: 10430

Redneck

#15 Redneck

You might be a redneck if you've ever watched a tornado from a lawn chair.

ID: 10845

Redneck

You Know You're a Redneck If 3

You get homesick watching cops on TV.

ID: 13452

Redneck

Disability

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.

The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded yes, so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down, and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke?"

He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "and put it on my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him, and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of backflips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the redneck. The redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"

ID: 10985

Redneck

Still Yet Another Redneck Joke

If you have more pets than relatives you just might be a redneck.

ID: 14334

Redneck

Redneck: Father-in-law

You might be a redneck if your father-in-law said that you had no class, so you spit at him.

ID: 15782

Redneck

You Might be a REDNECK If...

...you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

ID: 12607

Redneck

How to Talk Native Southern I

Aig - What a hen lays.
Aints - He's got aints in his paints.
Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a morning.
Arn - Ma's tard of arnin.
Bag - He bagged her to marry him.
Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence.
Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
Bub - the light bub burned out.
Cheer - What you set in.
Crick - A small stream.
Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon.
Chiny - country over in Asia.
Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes.
Core - He got hisself a new Ford core.
Cyow - Animal on Farm.
Deppity - He helps out the shurf..
Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt.
Dainz - Satidy night social.
Ellum - A graceful tree.
Fanger - What you put your rang on.
Faince - Whats round the hawg lot.

ID: 15789

Redneck

Capricorn

You might be a redneck if...

You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.

ID: 8310

Redneck

You are a Redneck If... #10

You are a redneck if:

you have the same number of teeth as you have fingers.

VIEW MORE ON APP