ID: 8418
Redneck
You might just be a redneck if your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
ID: 8316
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
Your pet groundhog has ever bitten more than one of your thumbs off.
ID: 6576
Redneck
Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?"
"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
ID: 14326
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you were married in a laundromat.
ID: 12608
Redneck
Far - What get the brandin arn hot.
Furred - He got furred from his job.
Flar - A rose is a purdy flar.
Frash - Them aigs ain't frash.
Furiners - All non-'bamans.
Further - Hits ten miles further to town.
Grain - She was grain with envy.
Hail - Where bad folks go.
Hep - Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
Hern - It aint hern, it's his'n.
Hilbilly - People in the next county.
Hollar – What's between the hills.
Hard - Got a brend new hard.
Tar - His core blew a tar.
Laymun - A sour fruit.
Laig - Most folks have two of them.
Lather - What you climb up.
Liberry - Where you go to check out books for larnin.
Mailk - what you get from cyows.
Mere - What you see yourself in.
ID: 12286
Redneck
You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!
ID: 384
Redneck
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
ID: 10845
Redneck
You get homesick watching cops on TV.
ID: 250
Redneck
There once was a redneck and his redneck wife. The wife didn't want another child, and asked the redneck husband to get surgery so he can't impregnate his wife.
The redneck goes to a very expensive doctor. The doctor who is in a hurry and is sure the redneck can't pay for his operation, just hands the redneck a firecracker and says, "Light this, hold it, count to 10." The redneck is confused but the doctor seems to know what he's doing.
The redneck goes home and lights the firecracker. He starts counting with the aid of his fingers... "1...2...3...4...5..." The redneck pauses, puts the firecracker between his legs and resumes counting on the other hand....
+10,000 Jokes