ID: 15786
Redneck
...if you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".
ID: 8311
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever killed someone over a "kick me" sign.
ID: 1136
Redneck
A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.
So he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it any more and goes back to the Frenchman.
"Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?"
"Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?"
ID: 89
Redneck
What do you call 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth!
ID: 6406
Redneck
If the most common phrase in your house is "Somebody go jiggle the handle!"... you might be a redneck.
ID: 10596
Redneck
You Might be a Redneck If you take your family to K-Mart to see a movie.
ID: 6687
Redneck
Recently, my redneck neighbors invited me to a party. Here was our conversation:
"Hey dude! Where are you man? We're having a great party over here. Why don't you come on over and join us?"
I replied, "Man, I'm not feeling so good. I think I'm gonna stay right here."
"Well, hey. What'cha got?" they asked.
"I got a case of diarrhea," I responded.
"Well heck, bring it along. These fools will drink anything!"
ID: 6214
Redneck
1. You know you're a redneck when you go out with your girlfriend and you don't realize she has her other boyfriend with her.
2. You know you're a redneck when you use a barstool as a walker.
3. You know you're a redneck when your mowing your lawn and you find a car.
4. You know you're a redneck when you fall asleep with one hand down your pants and a beer in the other hand.
ID: 7684
Redneck
You might be a redneck if when someone says: "Do you have any duct tape?" And you say: "I don't have any ducks on tapes but I've got some on my wall."
+10,000 Jokes