ID: 10970
Redneck
If you met your wife on a hunting trip you just might be a redneck.
ID: 4265
Redneck
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. The DNA is all the same.
2. There are no dental records.
ID: 8314
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever had to towel dry after a fart.
ID: 6687
Redneck
Recently, my redneck neighbors invited me to a party. Here was our conversation:
"Hey dude! Where are you man? We're having a great party over here. Why don't you come on over and join us?"
I replied, "Man, I'm not feeling so good. I think I'm gonna stay right here."
"Well, hey. What'cha got?" they asked.
"I got a case of diarrhea," I responded.
"Well heck, bring it along. These fools will drink anything!"
ID: 7089
Redneck
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Do you think my hair is too big?
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
The tires on that truck are too big.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Do you think this baseball cap goes with this shirt?
Damned if that politician ain't honest!
We're vegetarians. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
You can't feed that to the dog.
Trim the fat off that steak.
I just love the opera.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
Wrasslin's fake.
ID: 250
Redneck
There once was a redneck and his redneck wife. The wife didn't want another child, and asked the redneck husband to get surgery so he can't impregnate his wife.
The redneck goes to a very expensive doctor. The doctor who is in a hurry and is sure the redneck can't pay for his operation, just hands the redneck a firecracker and says, "Light this, hold it, count to 10." The redneck is confused but the doctor seems to know what he's doing.
The redneck goes home and lights the firecracker. He starts counting with the aid of his fingers... "1...2...3...4...5..." The redneck pauses, puts the firecracker between his legs and resumes counting on the other hand....
ID: 414
Redneck
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone's gonna lose a trailer.
ID: 90
Redneck
One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.
When he asked, the man said, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight."
The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replied the man, "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this here sack I'll give them both to you."
ID: 7070
Redneck
1.Your tires cost more than your car.
2.You have a motor hanging out of your tree.
3.Your trailer house tires work but your car tires don't.
5.You write the girl of your dreams name on the tower and then the sheriff makes you take your sisters name off of it.
6.You call your undies britches.
7.The whole town is related to you.
8.You got more trailers than cars.
9.You kill your sisters boyfriends because they're trying to take her away from you.
10. Your haven't had "School learning" because you don't now how to count.
(You missed that there was no number 4.)
Credit to BLUE COLLAR TV
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