ID: 11910
Redneck
What do you say to a redneck with a beautiful woman on his arm?
"Hey, nice tattoo!"
ID: 12609
Redneck
Minners - Live bait.
Misrus - Married woman.
Nar - Opposite of wide.
Nayk - Your head sets on it.
Nup – No.
Orrel - Them hinges need orrel.
Ormy - What the sojers go in.
Pank - A light red color.
Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow.
Petition - What separate the rooms.
Poke - A paper bag or sack.
Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in.
Salit - A green vegetable.
Puppet - What the preacher is in.
Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher.
Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig.
Rang - You wear it on your fanger.
Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts.
Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town.
ID: 14329
Redneck
You might be a redneck if both you and your wife wore ponytails on your wedding day.
ID: 10858
Redneck
You think "Going the extra mile" means using toothpaste.
You take a bar of soap to your local pool.
Your dentures have fillings.
Your idea of conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.
Your wife has ever burnt out an electric razor.
Your medical plan is not to get sick.
ID: 10938
Redneck
You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.
You name your car the General Lee.
You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.
ID: 13467
Redneck
You know you are a redneck when you do not speak your first word until your 18th birthday and that word is WELFARE!.
ID: 2514
Redneck
Q:What do you call a 500 pound Russian that can bend you like a bendy straw?
A:Sir
ID: 8312
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever searched for gold in your grandpa's chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.
ID: 13992
Redneck
A couple are getting married in a big fancy church with all of the relatives and friends in attendance.
The priest is going through the nomal procedure and when he comes to the part "If anyone objects to the union of these two people in Holy Matrimony let them speak now or for ever hold their peace".
A redneck in the back row jumps up and hollers "I object, I am in love with her and she's carrying my baby!"
As the gathering gasps in surprise the redneck runs up the aisle, shoves the groom aside and rips off the brides veil.
After a moment of silence the redneck exclaims, "Hey you ain't my sister!"
+10,000 Jokes