ID: 8343
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever dislodged a sunflower seed from the corner of your eye.
ID: 10860
Redneck
You know your a redneck if...
You tell your kids the facts of life and they interrupt you with corrections.
You've ever given your date flowers from a cemetery.
You proposed at Denny's.
The biggest compliment you got at your wedding was how cute your baby was.
You had a marriage license before you had a drivers license.
You've ever reused wedding invitations.
The last thing your ex-wife ever said to you was "It's me or them dogs."
If your wedding invitations ever said "same time same place."
At your wedding reception you put Alka-Seltzer in cheap wine to get "Champagne."
ID: 7917
Redneck
Once there was a redneck groom about to get married. As he puts on the beaver pelt suit, he is talking to his dad. "Hey Uncle Jim, I'm kind of worried. My fiance told me she's still a virgin."
"Why is that an issue?" the dad says.
"Well, if she isn't good enough for her family, why would she be good enough for ours?"
ID: 14971
Redneck
Chapters In The "Nascar For Dummies" Book: How To Read
It's Impossible to Own Too Much Dale Earnhardt Memorabilia
Jumpin', Hollerin' & Other Ways to Make Sure Your Favorite Driver Sees You When He Goes By at 230 Miles An Hour
Roll Down Yer Winder First, *Then* Spit
So You Wanna Be A Crew Chief? Remember - Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosy
Better Places to Put the Grill Than Next to the Winnebago's Propane Tank
Brakes Are For Sissies
Advanced Technical Terms - "Yeeeehaww!" "Whoooodoggie!" and "Golldurn!"
How To Say "Dick Trickle" Without Snickering
Quick Prayers for Those Upside-Down Moments
How to Drive in a Circle 500 Times Without Getting Dizzy
Them Cars Are Fast - And LOUD!
ID: 11779
Redneck
You might be a redneck if you let your thirteen-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER two kids.
ID: 12609
Redneck
Minners - Live bait.
Misrus - Married woman.
Nar - Opposite of wide.
Nayk - Your head sets on it.
Nup – No.
Orrel - Them hinges need orrel.
Ormy - What the sojers go in.
Pank - A light red color.
Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow.
Petition - What separate the rooms.
Poke - A paper bag or sack.
Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in.
Salit - A green vegetable.
Puppet - What the preacher is in.
Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher.
Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig.
Rang - You wear it on your fanger.
Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts.
Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town.
ID: 8312
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you've ever searched for gold in your grandpa's chest and had your fingers taken off by the booby trap within.
ID: 5797
Redneck
Did you here about the new redneck Barbie doll?
It comes with twelve kids, aids, and a welfare check.
ID: 10661
Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
...your porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.
...you see your family reunion as a way to meet girls.
...you marry three times and still have the same in-laws.
+10,000 Jokes