ID: 15250
Redneck
Here in the Kentucky hills, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He
takes off running and reaches the edge and into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw & Paw Abner were sitting on the porch swing, talking bout the good old days when Maw spots the biggest bird she has ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up; "Get my gun, Maw."
Maw runs into the house, brings out his pump action shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG..BANG..BANG...BANG! The monster-size bird continues to sail silently over the treetops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of old Zeek!"
ID: 8313
Redneck
You are a redneck if:
you won money of your dead grandpa by playing
poker with him.
ID: 2819
Redneck
A redneck couple had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, the man took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.
The woman said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning."
"But, madam," replied the bellman.
"Don't 'But madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager."
"Madam," the bellman said, "this isn't your room; this is the elevator!"
ID: 743
Redneck
You hear crack is illegal and you pull up your pants.
Someone yells "Hoe Down" at a dance and your wife falls to the floor.
You use newspapers for more than 3 uses in your home.
Your family tree is a wreath.
If your home is mobile but the 4 cars in your yard are not.
Your father gave you this advice, "If you can't keep it in your pants, at least keep it in the family."
The last thing relatives say before they die is, "Hey Ya'll! Watch this!"
ID: 6686
Redneck
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
ID: 7625
Redneck
Wonder if you are a redneck....Well, if you have been married four times and still have the same in-laws you must be.
ID: 7064
Redneck
One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just gone bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn't have a big house like Bob use to have but agreed to let him stay there till he got out of bankruptcy. The next day when Bob moved in, while at dinner Bob said: "John you know what?" John said:"What is it Bob?" "I thought my house was shitty. Then i came to yours."
ID: 5070
Redneck
You know you're a redneck when you mow your lawn and find 10 cars.
ID: 4265
Redneck
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. The DNA is all the same.
2. There are no dental records.
+10,000 Jokes