PUNS

ID: 827

Puns

What is This?

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

ID: 858

Puns

Museum Curator

The assistant curator of the musuem came to the head curator with a couple of problems. "Sir, the mummy is damp and getting mouldy. And the white mouse in the maze exhibit has developed dry skin."

The head curator thought for a minute, then advised, "Put your mummy where your mouse is."

ID: 908

Puns

Tequila

Did you hear about the woman who poured margaritas in her birdbath? Enough tequila mockingbird.

ID: 17028

Puns

Gene Pitney

Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak -








but only 24 hours from Balsa!

ID: 6485

Puns

Flower Bed

My mouth has turned into a flower bed. It has tulips.

ID: 5268

Puns

Have a Nice Twip!

What is 4-2?
two.

What is 8-6?
two.

Who wrote Tom Sawyer?
Twain

Now say the answers altogether.
Two two Twain.

Have a nice twip!

ID: 7326

Puns

Phonebook Dilemma

Why are there no phone books in China?

Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.

ID: 1846

Puns

Tomato Family

There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"

ID: 5939

Puns

Milk

CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?

CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

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