ID: 11683
Puns
Girl 1: "This morning my dad gave me soap-flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast!"
Girl 2: "I bet you were angry with him!"
Girl 1: "Angry?! I was foaming at the mouth!"
ID: 10002
Puns
Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.
ID: 14490
Puns
What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?
In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!
ID: 2081
Puns
If a lawyer can be disbarred can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?
ID: 11586
Puns
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ID: 6084
Puns
Goldilocks was walking along one sunny afternoon when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with three bowls of steaming porridge. "Hello?" she called out, but no one was home. She tried the first bowl, but it was too hot. She tried the second bowl, but it was too cold. Then she tried the third bowl, and it was just right.
"Wow," she said, once she had finished the meal. "Now I'm feeling very sleepy." So she wandered around looking for a bed. She couldn't find one anywhere on the bottom floor.
Finally, she found a staircase at one end of the house. She climbed up the steps and went into the first room. There was a great big bed in the middle of the room, so Goldilocks jumped right in. "Yikes!" she exclaimed. "This one's too hard!"
She wandered to the next room. There she found another bed, and hopped right in it. But it was too soft.
By this time, Goldilocks was very tired. She went into the third room, and yelled out in surprise. There were three pink pigs cowering in the corner of the room. "Wait a second," she said. "You guys are in the wrong fairy tale."
"No, we're not," answered one of the pigs. "Don't you know this is a two-story house?"
ID: 9894
Puns
Why did the melon jump into the water?
Because it wanted to be a watermelon!
ID: 16499
Puns
My pal is addicted to brake fluid - but he says he can stop any time he wants.
ID: 12410
Puns
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
+10,000 Jokes