ID: 3685
Puns
A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does NOT want to be there.
"Sit, Fluffy," she says.
Fluffy glares at her, sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.
"I said 'SIT'! Now there's a good Fluffy," says the woman, slightly embarrassed.
Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and pees. The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, "Darn it Fluffy, will you be good?!"
Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office.
As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says, "Pardon me, I've just washed my hare and I can't do a thing with it!
ID: 11400
Puns
Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other?
A: I have a lot of problems.
ID: 802
Puns
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A boy fell in a mud puddle.
ID: 3524
Puns
Joe and Frank were in the office, and noticed that someone had put up a suggestion box with some 3x5 cards next to it. Both decided that this was a great idea, and each took a card to fill out.
Joe wrote, "The office workers should all be given raises!"
When he looked at Frank's card, it said "Can we all have raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and personal secretaries, and new company cars, and new coffee cups, and longer lunch breaks, and an extra three weeks vacation each year, and a holiday on St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day and Martin Luther King's Birthday?"
Joe said, "Frank, that isn't the right way of getting things changed around here - you shouldn't put all of your begs in one ask-it."
ID: 17784
Puns
A Pokemon Trainer walks into a STD help center.
The nurse there says "Sorry, but it looks like you've caught 'em all"
ID: 6260
Puns
Vegetable: "Hey, lets get married."
Fruit: "I'm sorry."
Vegetable: "We could secretly get married."
Fruit: "No, we couldn't."
Vegetable: "Why?"
Fruit: "Because we can't elope."
Can't elope = cantelope
ID: 11458
Puns
101 Hot 'n' Spicy Meals by Tung Payne
ID: 12211
Puns
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
ID: 2080
Puns
A test-tube baby has a womb with a view.
+10,000 Jokes