ID: 5585
Puns
What monster was created on April 1?
Pranken-stien
ID: 16517
Puns
Maurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read.
However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to a rumpus coming from behind one of the doors leading off the reception area. Maurice goes over to the receptionist and asks, "What's going on in there?"
She replies, "It's a partners' meeting." "But why are they shouting at each other?" Maurice asks. "It's a battle of wits," she replies.
Maurice asks: "Who is in there?" and she answers, "Horowits, Lebowits, Rabbinowits and Abramowits."
ID: 11774
Puns
A paper bag goes to his doctor, who says; "Your test results are back, and I'm afraid I have bad news. You have AIDS.
"That's impossible," cried the paper bag, "I've not had any form of sexual contact, nor am I a drug user!"
"In that case," said the doctor, "your father must have been a carrier."
ID: 15817
Puns
News just in - the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head.
The hospital spokesperson said, "He'll be all right in a couple of days; he's just suffering from percussion."
ID: 14237
Puns
A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some "monosodium glue to mate".
ID: 15306
Puns
Why shouldn't you take a Pokemon in the shower with you?
Answer:
Because it'll Pikachu! (peek at you...)
ID: 13975
Puns
How did Alfo make a quart of juice from 3 oranges?
It was a tight squeeze.
ID: 13986
Puns
Why does Tommy run around the school track 98 times every day?
He has a run track mind.
ID: 11529
Puns
The masked and armed man entered the bank.
"Nobody move, or you're geography!" shouts the bandit.
One of the tellers says, "Don't you mean 'history'?"
"Don't change the subject!"
+10,000 Jokes