PUNS

ID: 7027

Puns

A Real Groaner!

Q: What did the little chick say when his mom laid an orange?

A: Look at the orange-mama-lade!

ID: 8408

Puns

Plop Plop Plop

While on a game show, Justins had to identify a number of sounds. When she heard this: *laughter then plop, plop, plop* she identified it correctly right away. What did she say?

An audience laughing it's head off

ID: 11140

Puns

Elephants

Why don't elephants smoke?

Their butts don't fit in the ash tray

ID: 6667

Puns

What's Weirder?

Q: What's weirder than a talking dog?

A: A spelling bee!

ID: 6665

Puns

Game Show

A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!

The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"

The man grinned and said, "Dasher!"

The game show host said, "Correct!"

"Comet!"

"Correct! What is the last name?"

The man yelled, "Olive!"

The game show host was confused and said, "Why Olive?"

The contestent looked at him strangely and said, "Oh, don't you know? 'Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...'"

ID: 6259

Puns

Talking With Time

What did the clock say to the wristwatch?

"I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you're starting to tick me off."

ID: 6265

Puns

Two Peanuts

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

ID: 9040

Puns

What Do You Call?

Q. What do you call a cow that gives chocolate milk?


A. An Utter Delight!

ID: 10239

Puns

Depressed Crocodile

One day, a depressed crocodile decides to see his doctor about his problems. He says, "Doc, I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I don't feel like killing people anymore. I don't like attacking them, I don't like wrestling them in the water, and I definitely don't like eating them." The doctor goes over to his medicine cabinet, and pulls out several tiny blue pills. In amazement, the crocodile asks his doctor, "Doc, are those what I think they are?" The doctor replies, "Yes, I'm prescribing you some Viagra." Frustrated, the crocodile tells his doctor, "I'm not sure you understand -- have you been listening to a word I've said?" The doctor replies, "Of course I've been listening, you said you had a reptile dysfunction!"

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