ID: 652
Puns
Hey, have any of you heard of the kidnapping in the woods?
Yeah, well, it all turns out OK, though, since he woke up...
ID: 14833
Puns
As the plane was flying low over hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"
"Just snow," replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."
ID: 12211
Puns
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
ID: 12256
Puns
An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. He ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.
"What did you do that for?" asked a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory!" commented the giraffe.
"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall."
ID: 11400
Puns
Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other?
A: I have a lot of problems.
ID: 12565
Puns
Two blond labourers looking for work arrive at a railway station, and ask for one-way tickets. The ticket-seller looks through his schedule, but can't find the place the blonds are seeking.
"But you must be able to find it," says one.
"We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy!"
ID: 13369
Puns
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
Editor's note: Mean can mean both not nice but another definition is average.
ID: 12442
Puns
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.
ID: 11094
Puns
Why did the kid like the bowl of carrots and peas?
Because he could eat every carrot and pea in the bowl.
+10,000 Jokes