ID: 14490
Puns
What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?
In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!
ID: 1389
Puns
What do you call a bear who's into gardening?
A Hairy Potter!
ID: 10002
Puns
Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.
ID: 701
Puns
What happens when the smog clears over southern California?
UCLA
ID: 16394
Puns
Ryan: Hey Philip, what's that on your leg?
Philip: A shoe!
Ryan: Gesundheit!
Philip: No, you idiot, a shoe!
Ryan: No need to thank me, gesundheit!
ID: 11711
Puns
Special bonus, two for the price of one!
The party was in full swing, the drink going down several well-lubricated throats.
One of the guests was a Scot, wearing the traditional kilt, and a couple of the more adventurous girls were teasing him, asking him if anything was worn under his kilt. He replied, "No, everything is in perfect working order," and with that, he lifted his kilt to give them a quick flash.
"Oh, it's gruesome," said one of the girls.
"Have another look," he says, "it's grew some more!"
ID: 12764
Puns
Whenever I have to go up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator because one time i was on an escalator and I tripped...
So i was falling for an hour and a half.
ID: 11062
Puns
1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
2. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
3. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
ID: 8089
Puns
It is obvious. The downfall of the world is here. It is 2005 and we have lived on this earth for ages. I suppose it is about time for the end.
Proof? You want proof? I have all the proof you will need:
They let Brittney Spears reproduce.
Ohh that poor poor child!!
+10,000 Jokes