ID: 6979
Puns
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
ID: 8089
Puns
It is obvious. The downfall of the world is here. It is 2005 and we have lived on this earth for ages. I suppose it is about time for the end.
Proof? You want proof? I have all the proof you will need:
They let Brittney Spears reproduce.
Ohh that poor poor child!!
ID: 8338
Puns
Do you know how old hags tell time?
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A witch-watch!
ID: 13368
Puns
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
ID: 15319
Puns
What does the dentist of the year get?
..A little plaque.
ID: 12695
Puns
What do you call the planters guy beating up fruit spread?
Peanut battering jelly.
ID: 11526
Puns
(to be read aloud)
'Twas in a restaurant they met
Romeo and Juliet
But Romeo couldn't pay the bill
So Romee-owed what Julie ate ("ett").
ID: 12028
Puns
Drink apple juice, because O.J. will kill you.
(O.J. = Orange Juice)
ID: 13134
Puns
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A: One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
+10,000 Jokes