ID: 15488
Puns
"Do you like the new car Alice and I just bought?"
Tom asked onerously.
ID: 12442
Puns
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.
ID: 13454
Puns
My geometry tutor told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."
ID: 13987
Puns
How does a rodeo star get around?
With a cattle-act.
ID: 14056
Puns
Time may fly, but does it have wings?
ID: 13071
Puns
Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the travelers had to walk and cut vines with their machetes, and all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After setting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot.
When the 6 o'clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, "African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions."
ID: 11140
Puns
Why don't elephants smoke?
Their butts don't fit in the ash tray
ID: 11834
Puns
I tried to walk into Target one day...
I missed
ID: 12422
Puns
Do bakers with a sense of humor bake wry bread?
+10,000 Jokes