ID: 14490
Puns
What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?
In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!
ID: 11458
Puns
101 Hot 'n' Spicy Meals by Tung Payne
ID: 13454
Puns
My geometry tutor told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."
ID: 14995
Puns
Thor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
ID: 11256
Puns
The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.
ID: 13428
Puns
Once there was a man named John Odd. He hated his last name. Since he was little people would make fun of him calling him "the odd man out."
He grew older and fell in love with a girl named Julie. They soon got married and people immediately started calling them "the odd couple."
John was enraged by this. He decided that he should have a talk with his wife.
"I hate my last name! My whole life people have made fun of it. Just recently I realized that people that don't even know me are going to see my tombstone in a grave yard and laugh about it! I want you to promise me that when I die you'll leave my tombstone blank. I want to have more respect than that."
"Okay honey. Whatever you want," she said with a smile on her face.
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Years later, after John passed away, a young couple were walking out of the cemetery after putting flowers on a relative's grave. The wife looked down and saw John's blank tombstone. She got her husband's attention and said,
"Isn't that Odd?"
ID: 12645
Puns
Two bees in their hive on a lovely summer day, and one says to the other,
"'Swarm in here, isn't it?"
ID: 11140
Puns
Why don't elephants smoke?
Their butts don't fit in the ash tray
ID: 16638
Puns
I've been out of work for a while, so when I found a job sorting salt and pepper, I was most pleased.
The only drawback is that it's seasonal work.
+10,000 Jokes