ID: 2828
Puns
Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker had for Christmas?
A. He felt his presence!
ID: 13392
Puns
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse.
Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and is going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
ID: 16379
Puns
Teacher: Jackie, please use the word "climate" in a sentence
please.
Jackie: Sure, I have a cherry tree in my backyard, but my parents won't let me "climate"
Teacher: That's correct!
Teacher: Now, Luis use the word "arrest" in a sentence.
Luis: Sure, after running a mile I need "arrest"
ID: 12565
Puns
Two blond labourers looking for work arrive at a railway station, and ask for one-way tickets. The ticket-seller looks through his schedule, but can't find the place the blonds are seeking.
"But you must be able to find it," says one.
"We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy!"
ID: 12211
Puns
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll just hang around.
ID: 13496
Puns
Are part-time band leaders semiconductors?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do pilots in a hurry take crash-courses?
How do you get off a nonstop flight?
ID: 11412
Puns
There was a family of gnus, and one day, Mr Gnu went out to get some food but was ambushed and eaten by a pride of lions.
Next salute, a poacher shoots Mrs Gnu, leaving poor Baby Gnu to starve to death.
Well, that's the end of the gnus; here's the weather . . .
ID: 11256
Puns
The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.
ID: 13454
Puns
My geometry tutor told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."
+10,000 Jokes