PUNS

ID: 1811

Puns

No Pun

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

ID: 14158

Puns

Inside, Outside

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K9P.

ID: 6129

Puns

Friday the 13th

BOB- It's Friday the 13th. Do you have any superstitions?

GEORGE- I think it's unlucky to have superstitions.

ID: 8177

Puns

Forest

How do crazy people go through the forest?


They take the psycho path.

ID: 6048

Puns

Books Never Written

Here are some books that should never be written:

Workaholism, by Anita Dayoff

Never Say Goodbye, by C.U. Latta

Crowd Control, by General Panic

Amazing Facts, by G. Willikers

The Last Supper, by M.T. Potts

Fast Food, by Eaton Run

The Bee Hive, by I. Ben Stung

Turn Off The Light, by Les Watts

Cattle Ranching, by Brandon D. Bull

Bullfighting Mistakes, by Gordon Bluddy

ID: 6665

Puns

Game Show

A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!

The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"

The man grinned and said, "Dasher!"

The game show host said, "Correct!"

"Comet!"

"Correct! What is the last name?"

The man yelled, "Olive!"

The game show host was confused and said, "Why Olive?"

The contestent looked at him strangely and said, "Oh, don't you know? 'Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...'"

ID: 3615

Puns

Learn To Keep Time

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band.

Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

ID: 9040

Puns

What Do You Call?

Q. What do you call a cow that gives chocolate milk?


A. An Utter Delight!

ID: 5939

Puns

Milk

CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?

CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

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