ID: 2760
Puns
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the bible that man should do the coffee."
The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him the top of several pages, that it indeed says........"HEBREWS"
ID: 13973
Puns
Why should you look out for a pig that knows karate?
It might give you a pork chop!
ID: 11711
Puns
Special bonus, two for the price of one!
The party was in full swing, the drink going down several well-lubricated throats.
One of the guests was a Scot, wearing the traditional kilt, and a couple of the more adventurous girls were teasing him, asking him if anything was worn under his kilt. He replied, "No, everything is in perfect working order," and with that, he lifted his kilt to give them a quick flash.
"Oh, it's gruesome," said one of the girls.
"Have another look," he says, "it's grew some more!"
ID: 12094
Puns
The three stages of sex in marriage:
Tri-weekly, Try-weekly, Try-weakly.
ID: 12914
Puns
Two Arab fathers are showing each other their family photos. One shows the other a picture and says "This is my oldest, he is a martyr. This is my second oldest, he is also a martyr." The other Arab father just sighs and says "Ahh, they blow up so quickly these days!"
ID: 12417
Puns
Q: What did the older lightbulb say to the younger lightbulb?
A: You're too young to go out tonight.
ID: 14056
Puns
Time may fly, but does it have wings?
ID: 14726
Puns
On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes.
She blew her stack.
ID: 13975
Puns
How did Alfo make a quart of juice from 3 oranges?
It was a tight squeeze.
+10,000 Jokes