ID: 14208
Puns
The other day I was watching the news and there was the strangest story. You see a man went to Huck's gas station and was filling up his red gas holder for emergencies during the winter, and when he put the cap on some sloshed out onto his arm. He didn't think anything of it and went on ahead and got in his car and drove off. Two miles down the road he lit up a cigarette and caught his arms on hands on fire! He pulled off to the side and a cop driving by pulled over by him. And you know what he gave the man a ticket... for illegal use of fire-arms.
ID: 18177
Puns
One woman to another woman
Woman- Those firemen are hot.
Other Woman- Yeah they are nice looking.
Woman- No. I mean they just came out of that burning building. They're hot.
ID: 6221
Puns
You know you're a redneck when your brand new tv is sitting on your old ones.
ID: 605
Puns
"Are you sure you don't want some Novocain?" asked the dentist.
"I'm sure," replied the maharishi. "I wish to transcend dental medication."
ID: 5236
Puns
Why is Mississippi River unusual?
Because it has four eyes and can't see!
ID: 17863
Puns
Teacher: So class, in the medieval times, the Puritan's ears were cut off if they didn't attend Catholic services.
Student: I bet they didn't like the sound of that!
ID: 15309
Puns
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
ID: 14975
Puns
Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop.
One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment.
The first guy was charged with breaking and entering; and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.
ID: 15229
Puns
So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said "Is that the local swimming baths?"
He said, "It depends where you're calling from."
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