PUNS

ID: 45

Puns

Polar Bear

A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and............................................tonic?"
The bartender replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"

ID: 17028

Puns

Gene Pitney

Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak -








but only 24 hours from Balsa!

ID: 14268

Puns

The Robber

Then there was the dyslexic robber who held up the bank with a gnu.

ID: 13454

Puns

Bygones

My geometry tutor told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."

ID: 12697

Puns

At The Crucifixion

In "The Greatest Story Ever Told", John Wayne played a centurion at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

One of his lines was, "Truly he is the Son of God!"

The director felt John W. wasn't putting enough into it, and asked him to deliver the line again, but with a little more emphasis - "to put some awe into it".

"OK," says John, "Awww - truly he is the Son of God!"

ID: 14157

Puns

Wattle You Have?

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?

A dry Martinez.

ID: 14490

Puns

Congress

What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?

In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!

ID: 13020

Puns

Road Trip

This summer, I went on a trip to Houston. I needed to go really badly, so I stopped behind a tree. A minute later, I darted out being chased by a hungry squirrel. He wanted some nuts.

ID: 13973

Puns

Karate Pig

Why should you look out for a pig that knows karate?






It might give you a pork chop!

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