PUNS

ID: 15300

Puns

Oh, Brother!

When a girl needs advice, why can't her brother help her?

Because he can't be a brother and assist her too.




(And a sister too!)

ID: 5278

Puns

Marble, Stone, They're All the Same!

What did the statue say to the other after a break-up and make-up?

I'm sorry I took you for granite. (granted)

hahahaha

ID: 870

Puns

Juan & Amal

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amal. The other went to a family in Spain, and they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished that she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

ID: 6312

Puns

The Worst Names to Have

This is a list of the worst names to have


Dick Hurtz

Hary Paratesticles

Mike Hunt

Mike Rotch

Anitta Manwhore

Anitta Johnson

Fuk Yao

Ike Anblow

Peter Pecker

I.C. Weiner

I.P. Freely

Seimore Butts

Bo Oobless

Dick Less

Issac Less

Tits McGee (ok, that was off Anchorman)

Ima Hornibusterd

Ima Uglibech

Ima Dick

ID: 6665

Puns

Game Show

A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!

The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"

The man grinned and said, "Dasher!"

The game show host said, "Correct!"

"Comet!"

"Correct! What is the last name?"

The man yelled, "Olive!"

The game show host was confused and said, "Why Olive?"

The contestent looked at him strangely and said, "Oh, don't you know? 'Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...'"

ID: 7326

Puns

Phonebook Dilemma

Why are there no phone books in China?

Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.

ID: 2105

Puns

Milking a Cow

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. So the farmer says "Oh, shoot! It went in one ear and out the udder"...

ID: 2080

Puns

Test-tube Baby

A test-tube baby has a womb with a view.

ID: 7301

Puns

Horse Breeder

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

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