ID: 17402
Puns
You probably know for a fact that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.
And here we say ''You got to have balls to become a leader''
ID: 6312
Puns
This is a list of the worst names to have
Dick Hurtz
Hary Paratesticles
Mike Hunt
Mike Rotch
Anitta Manwhore
Anitta Johnson
Fuk Yao
Ike Anblow
Peter Pecker
I.C. Weiner
I.P. Freely
Seimore Butts
Bo Oobless
Dick Less
Issac Less
Tits McGee (ok, that was off Anchorman)
Ima Hornibusterd
Ima Uglibech
Ima Dick
ID: 5236
Puns
Why is Mississippi River unusual?
Because it has four eyes and can't see!
ID: 6265
Puns
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
ID: 12442
Puns
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.
ID: 6458
Puns
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."
ID: 7872
Puns
Why did the white girl go have sex with a Mexican?
Because her teacher told her to do an ESE.
ID: 8035
Puns
A couple was about to celebrate 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had varied excuses.
"Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry, I'm running late... I just didn't have the time to get you a present."
"No worry," said Dad. "The important thing is that we're all together."
Son number two arrived and announced, "Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you anything... I'm sorry."
"It's nothing," said the father, "just glad you could be here today."
The daughter arrived. "Happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but I've been out of town and didn't bring a present."
Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today."
Later, during dinner, the father put down his fork, looked up and said, "Listen, you three, there's something your mother and I need to tell you. We came to this country penniless and desperate. Despite this, we were able to raise you and send you to college. But we never got around to getting married."
The three kids gasped and said, in unison, "You mean we're BASTARDS?"
"Yep," said the dad. "And cheap ones, too!"
ID: 6979
Puns
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
+10,000 Jokes