PUNS

ID: 15817

Puns

Drumming Up Trade

News just in - the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head.

The hospital spokesperson said, "He'll be all right in a couple of days; he's just suffering from percussion."

ID: 8

Puns

Antenna

I went to a wedding the other day. Two antennas were getting married. It wasn't much of a wedding ceremony, but it was one heck of a reception!

ID: 10006

Puns

More Clinton 2

What's Bill Clinton's favorite movie ?
Sex lies and video tape

ID: 5951

Puns

Mike Howe

A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail.
"Any mail for Mike Howe?" the rancher asked.

The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice. Without looking up, the clerk said, "No, none for your cow and none for your horse, either."

ID: 10

Puns

Rain

Joel: "How's the progress on new house that you are building Pete?"
Peter: "Things are really slow at the moment."
Joel: "Yeah, I guess all this rain would be putting a dampener on things..."

ID: 6354

Puns

Pirates' Money

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?




A buck an ear.

ID: 5939

Puns

Milk

CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?

CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

ID: 4537

Puns

The Maine Man

Some friends were on vacation in Maine, and while watching fireworks heard their small son say, "Oh, God!"

The father quickly cautioned his son, "Please don't speak the Lord's name in vain."

The boy nodded but obviously mis-heard, because he asked quietly, "Is it OK if I speak his name back in Minnesota?"

ID: 6458

Puns

Moles

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."

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