ID: 15309
Puns
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
ID: 6260
Puns
Vegetable: "Hey, lets get married."
Fruit: "I'm sorry."
Vegetable: "We could secretly get married."
Fruit: "No, we couldn't."
Vegetable: "Why?"
Fruit: "Because we can't elope."
Can't elope = cantelope
ID: 605
Puns
"Are you sure you don't want some Novocain?" asked the dentist.
"I'm sure," replied the maharishi. "I wish to transcend dental medication."
ID: 2607
Puns
If a rabbit were racing cabbage, who would win?
The cabbage, because it's a head.
ID: 640
Puns
Did you see that movie about the pirate?
It's rated Arrr!
ID: 3292
Puns
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
3 - His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front-ear.
ID: 908
Puns
Did you hear about the woman who poured margaritas in her birdbath? Enough tequila mockingbird.
ID: 702
Puns
Mama Skunk had two children named In and Out.
The two were always on the go, but rarely in one place at the same time. Whenever In was in, Out was out. Whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day at dinner time, Out was home, but In was no where to be seen. Mama Skunk sent Out out to bring In in for dinner. Out quickly returned with In and Mama was amazed.
"However did you find In so quickly in all the vast forest?" asked Mama.
"Easy," said Out. "Instinct!"
ID: 50
Puns
Did you know diarhea is part of your inheritence?
Ya, it flows in our genes.
+10,000 Jokes