PUNS

ID: 3751

Puns

What are You Doing?

A man was seen walking through downtown with a desk strapped to his back, a typewriter under one arm, and a wastebasket under the other. He was stopped by a policeman, asked what he was doing, and arrested when he replied, . . . "Impersonating an office, sir!"

ID: 5947

Puns

I Ran Into...

BOB: Hey, I ran into George the other day.

JOE: Oh, really? Was he happy to see you?

BOB: Well, we were in our cars at the time...

ID: 17077

Puns

Winning and Quitting

If winners never quit, and quitters never win...




Who was the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead".

ID: 11062

Puns

Punny!

1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

2. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

3. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

ID: 11083

Puns

Pot

A boy go to a girls house and notice her home is very messy and full of paper and clay pot and clothing all over. The boy tell her he bring some pot to her and she answer there is clay pot all over home.

ID: 12087

Puns

Hippopotamus Hide

Three Indian women are sitting side by side. The first, sitting on a goatskin, has a son who weighs 170 pounds. The second, sitting on a deerskin, has a son who weighs 130 pounds. The third, seated on a hippopotamus hide, weighs 300 pounds. What famous theorem does this illustrate?


The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides!

ID: 12409

Puns

Venice

If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everybody.

ID: 11400

Puns

Arithmetic

Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other?

A: I have a lot of problems.

ID: 11140

Puns

Elephants

Why don't elephants smoke?

Their butts don't fit in the ash tray

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