ID: 2642
Puns
There was a couple doing yard work, and the wife stops to go up and take a shower. The husband is looking for the rake and yells to his wife, who looks out of the upstairs bathroom window, "Where's the rake?"
She can't hear him, so he points to his eye (I), points to his knee (need) and then makes raking motions.
"What?" she yells, confused. So he goes through the whole routine again.
She nods as if she understands and then points to her eye, squeezes her left breast, slaps her bum and then rubs her crotch.
Her husband is somewhat confused, but totally aroused, so he quickly goes in the house, up the stairs, and into the bathroom. "What did you say?"
She answered, "I said, 'Eye, left tit, behind, the bush.'"
ID: 14908
Puns
Why did the tent agree to stand up all night?
He was roped into it!
ID: 12766
Puns
Q: What type of storage units do underwater computers use?
A: Trilo-bytes
ID: 12028
Puns
Drink apple juice, because O.J. will kill you.
(O.J. = Orange Juice)
ID: 11256
Puns
The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.
ID: 12651
Puns
What did the bald man say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
"Oh, thank you! I'll never part with it!"
ID: 12695
Puns
What do you call the planters guy beating up fruit spread?
Peanut battering jelly.
ID: 13975
Puns
How did Alfo make a quart of juice from 3 oranges?
It was a tight squeeze.
ID: 14161
Puns
How does the barber cut the moon's hair?
E-clipse it
+10,000 Jokes