ID: 45
Puns
A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and............................................tonic?"
The bartender replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"
ID: 17028
Puns
Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak -
but only 24 hours from Balsa!
ID: 14268
Puns
Then there was the dyslexic robber who held up the bank with a gnu.
ID: 13454
Puns
My geometry tutor told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons."
ID: 12697
Puns
In "The Greatest Story Ever Told", John Wayne played a centurion at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
One of his lines was, "Truly he is the Son of God!"
The director felt John W. wasn't putting enough into it, and asked him to deliver the line again, but with a little more emphasis - "to put some awe into it".
"OK," says John, "Awww - truly he is the Son of God!"
ID: 14157
Puns
What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A dry Martinez.
ID: 14490
Puns
What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?
In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!
ID: 13020
Puns
This summer, I went on a trip to Houston. I needed to go really badly, so I stopped behind a tree. A minute later, I darted out being chased by a hungry squirrel. He wanted some nuts.
ID: 13973
Puns
Why should you look out for a pig that knows karate?
It might give you a pork chop!
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