ID: 11711
Puns
Special bonus, two for the price of one!
The party was in full swing, the drink going down several well-lubricated throats.
One of the guests was a Scot, wearing the traditional kilt, and a couple of the more adventurous girls were teasing him, asking him if anything was worn under his kilt. He replied, "No, everything is in perfect working order," and with that, he lifted his kilt to give them a quick flash.
"Oh, it's gruesome," said one of the girls.
"Have another look," he says, "it's grew some more!"
ID: 13548
Puns
"Transportation in the Middle Ages" by Orson Cart.
"Growing up in the Balkans" by Hugo Slavia.
"The Outboard Motor Died" by Rhoda Shaw.
"Answering the Questions of the Universe" by Howard I. Know.
"Our Son, Russell, the Chef" by Mr. & Mrs. Upsumgrub.
"How to Write a Mystery Novel" by Paige Turner.
"The Great English Breakfast" by Chris P. Bacon.
"Vacation Spots in the Tropics" by Sandy Beech.
ID: 13987
Puns
How does a rodeo star get around?
With a cattle-act.
ID: 12947
Puns
Q: What did one chart say to the other?
A: "My! You're awfully graphic!"
ID: 16846
Puns
There was a nearly-new television for sale the other day. It has a 42-inch plasma screen, and I bought it for $50.
The only thing wrong was that there was no volume control - but at that price, I couldn't turn it down!
ID: 13974
Puns
Movie stars are a reel treat!
ID: 11683
Puns
Girl 1: "This morning my dad gave me soap-flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast!"
Girl 2: "I bet you were angry with him!"
Girl 1: "Angry?! I was foaming at the mouth!"
ID: 12547
Puns
.
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. "And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded.
"Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, 'Jose, can you see?'"
ID: 11459
Puns
A fortune teller escaped from prison and became a small medium at large.
+10,000 Jokes