ID: 14700
Puns
Sven was in front of the mall jewellery store when he spied Ole walking past carrying a small, gift-wrapped package.
"So vat did ja buy, Ole?"
Ole replied, "Tomorrow is Lena's birthday and she said she vanted something wit lots of diamonds."
"So vat did you get her?" asked Sven.
"A deck of cards!" replied Ole.
- Editor: Ole's funeral services will be held later this week.
ID: 12083
Puns
A very mean, nasty, unattractive woman enters the Wal-Mart store with her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter says hello to the kids and then hello to the lady who just grunts at the greeter in return. The greeter asks the lady, "Great kids! Are they twins?"
"No," replies the lady, "one is 9 the other is 7. Do they look like twins?"
"No," the greeter says, "I just couldn't believe you could get laid twice."
ID: 12565
Puns
Two blond labourers looking for work arrive at a railway station, and ask for one-way tickets. The ticket-seller looks through his schedule, but can't find the place the blonds are seeking.
"But you must be able to find it," says one.
"We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy!"
ID: 13989
Puns
Why did the Quiz Show give away $10,000 plus one banana?
They wanted the prize to have appeal.
ID: 11256
Puns
The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.
ID: 12409
Puns
If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everybody.
ID: 12421
Puns
Q: Why could Long John Silver never find an aspirin?
A: 'Cause his parrots ate them all.
ID: 12094
Puns
The three stages of sex in marriage:
Tri-weekly, Try-weekly, Try-weakly.
ID: 12410
Puns
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
+10,000 Jokes