ID: 11459
Puns
A fortune teller escaped from prison and became a small medium at large.
ID: 10612
Puns
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks
ID: 10954
Puns
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
ID: 2638
Puns
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong? "I feel terrible, "he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops off out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says, Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave.
ID: 17213
Puns
Take this quiz to see if you are an idiot or not. If you make just one single mistake, you are an idiot. Ready?
1.George Washington, who was born in 1732, was born in what year?
2.The second war of the world, known as the World War II, is known as what?
3.What is the answer to one hundred plus one hundred, given that one hundred plus one hundred is two hundred?
4.What punctuation mark is used after this sentence, which is a question mark?
5.This joke, who was written by xJOKERx, was written by who?
6.If an elephant is bigger than a mouse, is a mouse bigger than an elephant?
7.If this question has thirteen words, how many words does this question have?
8.If you are currently reading this joke, give one person who is currently reading this joke.
9.If the tortoise won his race against rabbit, am I right that rabbit won the race?
10.If you are now reading the tenth question in the Quiz For The Idiots, are you now reading the ninth?
I hope you did not make any mistake because if you did you are certified IDIOT!
ID: 14219
Puns
Why did Tom throw butter outside the window?
Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.
ID: 11586
Puns
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ID: 676
Puns
Anyone remember Roy Clark, host of TV's "Hee Haw"?
Once, cohost Buck Owens was visiting Roy's home in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Roy was upset because he had just bought a beautiful new pair of genuine leather boots that were completely destroyed by a mountain lion the night before when Roy had left them on the back porch.
Roy was bound and determined to get the animal, so he and Buck, and several townspeople, took up arms and searched the hills. The group searched for hours to no avail. Then suddenly, Buck heard a feline wail.
Buck turns to his friend and sings:
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
ID: 10
Puns
Joel: "How's the progress on new house that you are building Pete?"
Peter: "Things are really slow at the moment."
Joel: "Yeah, I guess all this rain would be putting a dampener on things..."
+10,000 Jokes