ID: 827
Puns
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
ID: 858
Puns
The assistant curator of the musuem came to the head curator with a couple of problems. "Sir, the mummy is damp and getting mouldy. And the white mouse in the maze exhibit has developed dry skin."
The head curator thought for a minute, then advised, "Put your mummy where your mouse is."
ID: 908
Puns
Did you hear about the woman who poured margaritas in her birdbath? Enough tequila mockingbird.
ID: 17028
Puns
Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak -
but only 24 hours from Balsa!
ID: 6485
Puns
My mouth has turned into a flower bed. It has tulips.
ID: 5268
Puns
What is 4-2?
two.
What is 8-6?
two.
Who wrote Tom Sawyer?
Twain
Now say the answers altogether.
Two two Twain.
Have a nice twip!
ID: 7326
Puns
Why are there no phone books in China?
Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.
ID: 1846
Puns
There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"
ID: 5939
Puns
CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?
CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.
+10,000 Jokes