PUNS

ID: 16499

Puns

Brake! I Said Brake!

My pal is addicted to brake fluid - but he says he can stop any time he wants.

ID: 6259

Puns

Talking With Time

What did the clock say to the wristwatch?

"I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you're starting to tick me off."

ID: 10659

Puns

Weird Words

The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!

ID: 7005

Puns

Strongest Days?

Q. What are the strongest days of the week?

A. Saturday and Sunday, because all the rest are week days.

ID: 5939

Puns

Milk

CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?

CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

ID: 9549

Puns

Cannibal

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?








He was caught buttering up his teacher

ID: 6407

Puns

Peculiarities

What is more peculiar than watching a catfish?

Watching a goldfish bowl.

ID: 6749

Puns

Wooden Eye

When I was in high school I had a friend who had a wooden eye (this was a long time ago). He was very insecure about it. Come senior year he didn't have a date for the Prom. There was a beautiful girl he liked, but had a hairlip (this gave her an extreme lisp) we decided to set them up. He goes up to her and asks her out to the Prom. She said, "Oh, wouldn't I, wouldn't I?" and he said, "Hairlip, hairlip." and they never spoke again.

ID: 6458

Puns

Moles

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."

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