ID: 12421
Puns
Q: Why could Long John Silver never find an aspirin?
A: 'Cause his parrots ate them all.
ID: 14219
Puns
Why did Tom throw butter outside the window?
Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.
ID: 12565
Puns
Two blond labourers looking for work arrive at a railway station, and ask for one-way tickets. The ticket-seller looks through his schedule, but can't find the place the blonds are seeking.
"But you must be able to find it," says one.
"We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy!"
ID: 16499
Puns
My pal is addicted to brake fluid - but he says he can stop any time he wants.
ID: 12316
Puns
- OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
- Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
ID: 11230
Puns
What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is a sick bird.
ID: 11459
Puns
A fortune teller escaped from prison and became a small medium at large.
ID: 3676
Puns
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
ID: 12104
Puns
What was 50 Cent's daughter named?
Penny!
+10,000 Jokes