ID: 6048
Puns
Here are some books that should never be written:
Workaholism, by Anita Dayoff
Never Say Goodbye, by C.U. Latta
Crowd Control, by General Panic
Amazing Facts, by G. Willikers
The Last Supper, by M.T. Potts
Fast Food, by Eaton Run
The Bee Hive, by I. Ben Stung
Turn Off The Light, by Les Watts
Cattle Ranching, by Brandon D. Bull
Bullfighting Mistakes, by Gordon Bluddy
ID: 14844
Puns
How does a sperm bank treat its donors?
On a first come, first serve basis.
ID: 16541
Puns
Woman: I did something special today.
Man: What?
Woman: I rode on a hippo.
Man: Surely you musn't be kidding.
Woman: Yes I'm not kidding and don't call me Shirley.
ID: 15225
Puns
Collecting Unemployment
Ole and Sven worked together and both were laid off, so they headed over to the unemployment office.
When Ole was asked his occupation, he replied, "Panty stitcher. I sew elastic onto cotton panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classed as unskilled labor, so she gave Ole $250 a week unemployment pay.
She then asked Sven what his occupation was, and he replied, "Diesel fitter."
Looking up diesel fitter, the clerk found it classed as skilled labor, so she gave Sven $500 a week.
When Ole found out, he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double the amount that he was.
"Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor," the clerk explained.
"What skill?" Ole yelled. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls on it and says, 'Ya, diesel fitter'!"
ID: 14995
Puns
Thor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
ID: 14875
Puns
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
ID: 16338
Puns
There were some kids playing hopscotch and they were allowed to skip so when the winner was on 8 it went straight to 10
ID: 17856
Puns
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
ID: 15347
Puns
Astronomy is looking up.
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