ID: 14056
Puns
Time may fly, but does it have wings?
ID: 10006
Puns
What's Bill Clinton's favorite movie ?
Sex lies and video tape
ID: 11017
Puns
A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.
The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
ID: 6260
Puns
Vegetable: "Hey, lets get married."
Fruit: "I'm sorry."
Vegetable: "We could secretly get married."
Fruit: "No, we couldn't."
Vegetable: "Why?"
Fruit: "Because we can't elope."
Can't elope = cantelope
ID: 8177
Puns
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
ID: 11087
Puns
What do you call 2 lesbians in a cupboard?
A: A liquor cabinet!
ID: 17077
Puns
If winners never quit, and quitters never win...
Who was the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead".
ID: 15225
Puns
Collecting Unemployment
Ole and Sven worked together and both were laid off, so they headed over to the unemployment office.
When Ole was asked his occupation, he replied, "Panty stitcher. I sew elastic onto cotton panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classed as unskilled labor, so she gave Ole $250 a week unemployment pay.
She then asked Sven what his occupation was, and he replied, "Diesel fitter."
Looking up diesel fitter, the clerk found it classed as skilled labor, so she gave Sven $500 a week.
When Ole found out, he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double the amount that he was.
"Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor," the clerk explained.
"What skill?" Ole yelled. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls on it and says, 'Ya, diesel fitter'!"
ID: 14851
Puns
What do you call a one-legged lady?
Eileen!
+10,000 Jokes