ID: 12409
Puns
If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everybody.
ID: 6458
Puns
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."
ID: 7872
Puns
Why did the white girl go have sex with a Mexican?
Because her teacher told her to do an ESE.
ID: 6047
Puns
FOREST WARDEN: "Which of you saw this rare tree get cut down?
CAMPER: "Only the chain saw."
ID: 10005
Puns
Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study?
He wants to show them his executive branch.
ID: 9789
Puns
A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will.
At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."
ID: 6664
Puns
A newlywed couple was walking together, and needed to cross a busy street. They saw Officer Ed. He was controlling traffic, so he said to them in a sarcastic and nasty voice, "Oh, so you just want me to clear traffic so you snots can get across? Oh, sure, I'll do that!"
So the couple starts to thank him, when he says, "I don't know why you're walking on this nasty day, anyway! It's just about to rain!"
The couple looked up in the sky, but didn't see a cloud in sight. They decided not to say anything, and went across the walkway as Officer Ed stopped the traffic.
Although, sure enough, it started to rain as soon as they had crossed. It just so happens that the man and the woman were songwriters, and they wrote a classic Christmas tune.
Oh, don't you know it? It goes like this:
"Rude Officer Ed knows the rain, dear..."
ID: 8254
Puns
What do you call a lion wearing a hat?
A Dandy Lion.
ID: 8180
Puns
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
+10,000 Jokes