ID: 8913
Puns
Question: What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick! Duh.
ID: 3685
Puns
A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does NOT want to be there.
"Sit, Fluffy," she says.
Fluffy glares at her, sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.
"I said 'SIT'! Now there's a good Fluffy," says the woman, slightly embarrassed.
Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and pees. The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, "Darn it Fluffy, will you be good?!"
Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office.
As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says, "Pardon me, I've just washed my hare and I can't do a thing with it!
ID: 12099
Puns
It seems that an elephant got too close to all the baby ducks the circus had brought in for Easter and accidentally inhaled a bunch of them.
The poor elephant was choking on them and no one could help. Finally the trainer goosed him -- and the elephant blew out a whole trunkful of downy feathers.
That's what he gets for snorting quack.
ID: 5163
Puns
Why did the pencil cross the road? It was lead!
ID: 4117
Puns
A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies, but out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it."
He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."
"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."
ID: 3218
Puns
A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn't know why, but they couldn't have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, "Didn't you know?" "Two Wongs don't make a white!"
ID: 10006
Puns
What's Bill Clinton's favorite movie ?
Sex lies and video tape
ID: 4980
Puns
I hear some rich guy wants to build a tavern at the top of Mount Everest. Talk about raising the bar high!
ID: 8177
Puns
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
+10,000 Jokes