ID: 11400
Puns
Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other?
A: I have a lot of problems.
ID: 6260
Puns
Vegetable: "Hey, lets get married."
Fruit: "I'm sorry."
Vegetable: "We could secretly get married."
Fruit: "No, we couldn't."
Vegetable: "Why?"
Fruit: "Because we can't elope."
Can't elope = cantelope
ID: 12411
Puns
I wanted to learn how to make ice cream, so I started attending sundae school.
ID: 11298
Puns
A complex is a phobia.
A complex is a large building.
A complex is another word for complicated.
So if you have a phobia about complicated large buildings, you might be said to have a complex complex complex.
ID: 16720
Puns
Going home on the bus one evening a man was whiling away the time by doing a crossword.
Three more men got on the bus at the next stop, and as they passed, one said, "If it's any help to you, 7 Up is lemonade."
ID: 12409
Puns
If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everybody.
ID: 50
Puns
Did you know diarhea is part of your inheritence?
Ya, it flows in our genes.
ID: 6537
Puns
What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe?
Answer: Roberto.
ID: 3506
Puns
So there's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot.
This continued until he put up the following sign:
"This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ... Violators will be toad."