ID: 15079
Puns
The Reverend Paul Fuzz was the pastor of a small congregation in a little town. One day, as he was walking down Main Street, he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking. He felt this was very sinful and definitely not something a member of his congregation should do. He entered the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Thomson," the Reverend said sternly, "this is no place for a member of my congregation to be. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Okay," slurred the very drunk woman.
When Mrs. Thomson stood up, she began to weave back and forth. Realizing she had had far too much to drink, the Reverend grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and fell to the floor.
After rolling around for a few seconds, the Reverend ended up laying on top of her, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Listen here, buddy, this isn't the place for that!"
The Reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded and said, "Oh hell, if you're in that far, I guess you may as well finish up!"
ID: 7098
Puns
A mother complained to a doctor about her daughter's
strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed
and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Eventually, she'll
rise and shine.
ID: 3218
Puns
A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn't know why, but they couldn't have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, "Didn't you know?" "Two Wongs don't make a white!"
ID: 6354
Puns
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
ID: 605
Puns
"Are you sure you don't want some Novocain?" asked the dentist.
"I'm sure," replied the maharishi. "I wish to transcend dental medication."
ID: 10659
Puns
The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!
ID: 652
Puns
Hey, have any of you heard of the kidnapping in the woods?
Yeah, well, it all turns out OK, though, since he woke up...
ID: 45
Puns
A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and............................................tonic?"
The bartender replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"
ID: 2081
Puns
If a lawyer can be disbarred can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?
+10,000 Jokes