ID: 17363
Puns
In a recent review, The Weird Gamers rated popular game,
Grand Theft Auto IV 3.14 out of 10.
They said it was pirated.
ID: 1157
Puns
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold,he is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark," came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."
"I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again, Christian!"
ID: 6663
Puns
A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.
The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
ID: 3966
Puns
A couple of weeks ago the clouds over western Washington were moving to the west. Normally they head east, inland over the mountains to central Washington and beyond.
Scientists blamed the switch on mad cloud disease.
ID: 4240
Puns
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun." answered the other detective.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" asked the first detective.
"I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"
ID: 7162
Puns
Q: Why are hairdressers always on time?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!
ID: 3416
Puns
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
ID: 1439
Puns
When ice skating, never judge a brook by its cover.
ID: 8177
Puns
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
+10,000 Jokes