ID: 16499
Puns
My pal is addicted to brake fluid - but he says he can stop any time he wants.
ID: 6259
Puns
What did the clock say to the wristwatch?
"I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you're starting to tick me off."
ID: 10659
Puns
The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!
ID: 7005
Puns
Q. What are the strongest days of the week?
A. Saturday and Sunday, because all the rest are week days.
ID: 5939
Puns
CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go?
CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.
ID: 9549
Puns
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was caught buttering up his teacher
ID: 6407
Puns
What is more peculiar than watching a catfish?
Watching a goldfish bowl.
ID: 6749
Puns
When I was in high school I had a friend who had a wooden eye (this was a long time ago). He was very insecure about it. Come senior year he didn't have a date for the Prom. There was a beautiful girl he liked, but had a hairlip (this gave her an extreme lisp) we decided to set them up. He goes up to her and asks her out to the Prom. She said, "Oh, wouldn't I, wouldn't I?" and he said, "Hairlip, hairlip." and they never spoke again.
ID: 6458
Puns
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."
+10,000 Jokes