ID: 15817
Puns
News just in - the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head.
The hospital spokesperson said, "He'll be all right in a couple of days; he's just suffering from percussion."
ID: 12410
Puns
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
ID: 12316
Puns
- OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
- Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
ID: 17213
Puns
Take this quiz to see if you are an idiot or not. If you make just one single mistake, you are an idiot. Ready?
1.George Washington, who was born in 1732, was born in what year?
2.The second war of the world, known as the World War II, is known as what?
3.What is the answer to one hundred plus one hundred, given that one hundred plus one hundred is two hundred?
4.What punctuation mark is used after this sentence, which is a question mark?
5.This joke, who was written by xJOKERx, was written by who?
6.If an elephant is bigger than a mouse, is a mouse bigger than an elephant?
7.If this question has thirteen words, how many words does this question have?
8.If you are currently reading this joke, give one person who is currently reading this joke.
9.If the tortoise won his race against rabbit, am I right that rabbit won the race?
10.If you are now reading the tenth question in the Quiz For The Idiots, are you now reading the ninth?
I hope you did not make any mistake because if you did you are certified IDIOT!
ID: 12938
Puns
You are stuck in a room with absolutely no doors, no windows, and no escape. You are surrounded by 415 inch think metal walls. All you have is a mirror and a table.
How do you get out?
Well, you look into the mirror. You saw yourself, right? Now, use the saw to chop the table in half. To halves make a whole, so jump through the hole. Then yell at the top of your lungs until your voice is hoarse, then jump on the horse and ride away!
=)
ID: 14875
Puns
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
ID: 11743
Puns
A man goes to a fancy dress party, dressed from head to toe in green, carrying a woman on his back.
The host asks, "What have you come as?"
He replies, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!"
The host says, "Why have you a woman on your back?"
"Oh, that's Michelle," he replies.
(My shell)
ID: 14899
Puns
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting larger.
Then it hit me...
ID: 14844
Puns
How does a sperm bank treat its donors?
On a first come, first serve basis.
+10,000 Jokes