ID: 13989
Puns
Why did the Quiz Show give away $10,000 plus one banana?
They wanted the prize to have appeal.
ID: 6259
Puns
What did the clock say to the wristwatch?
"I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you're starting to tick me off."
ID: 8177
Puns
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
ID: 5947
Puns
BOB: Hey, I ran into George the other day.
JOE: Oh, really? Was he happy to see you?
BOB: Well, we were in our cars at the time...
ID: 3524
Puns
Joe and Frank were in the office, and noticed that someone had put up a suggestion box with some 3x5 cards next to it. Both decided that this was a great idea, and each took a card to fill out.
Joe wrote, "The office workers should all be given raises!"
When he looked at Frank's card, it said "Can we all have raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and personal secretaries, and new company cars, and new coffee cups, and longer lunch breaks, and an extra three weeks vacation each year, and a holiday on St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day and Martin Luther King's Birthday?"
Joe said, "Frank, that isn't the right way of getting things changed around here - you shouldn't put all of your begs in one ask-it."
ID: 1448
Puns
A genetic scientist managed to create dolphins that would live to 250 years of age - if they were fed seagulls.
One day the scientist's supply of gulls ran out, so he went out to trap some more. On the way back, he came upon two sleeping lions. Not wanting to wake the big cats, he gingerly stepped over them and was promptly arrested for...
Transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises!
ID: 3652
Puns
First, you get a little hoarse.
Then, you get a little buggy.
ID: 1630
Puns
The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession (as bass violinists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!"
"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist.
"I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string.
"It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."
A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.
"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see?
"It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."
ID: 8913
Puns
Question: What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick! Duh.
+10,000 Jokes