ID: 8
Puns
I went to a wedding the other day. Two antennas were getting married. It wasn't much of a wedding ceremony, but it was one heck of a reception!
ID: 1905
Puns
From: [langalist] LangaList Standard Edition 2003-07-24
Just For Grins
1. Coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v), to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation when drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), an olive flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n), a humorous question in an exam.
12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Frisbeetarianism (n), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
15. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.
ID: 17394
Puns
Two bulls are in a locker room when one guy notices the other dude has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"
The other bull says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'
And I said, 'No bullshit!'"
ID: 1439
Puns
When ice skating, never judge a brook by its cover.
ID: 8799
Puns
One day a duck walked into a drugstore and bought some lipstick. She walked up to the clerk and said, "Put it on my bill!"
ID: 8408
Puns
While on a game show, Justins had to identify a number of sounds. When she heard this: *laughter then plop, plop, plop* she identified it correctly right away. What did she say?
An audience laughing it's head off
ID: 6047
Puns
FOREST WARDEN: "Which of you saw this rare tree get cut down?
CAMPER: "Only the chain saw."
ID: 5794
Puns
I heard they were going to name a highway after Willie Nelson in Texas...
But be Warned: When taking this highway look out for pot holes!
ID: 7027
Puns
Q: What did the little chick say when his mom laid an orange?
A: Look at the orange-mama-lade!
+10,000 Jokes