ID: 17028
Puns
Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak -
but only 24 hours from Balsa!
ID: 10612
Puns
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks
ID: 1439
Puns
When ice skating, never judge a brook by its cover.
ID: 2607
Puns
If a rabbit were racing cabbage, who would win?
The cabbage, because it's a head.
ID: 8089
Puns
It is obvious. The downfall of the world is here. It is 2005 and we have lived on this earth for ages. I suppose it is about time for the end.
Proof? You want proof? I have all the proof you will need:
They let Brittney Spears reproduce.
Ohh that poor poor child!!
ID: 9999
Puns
Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.
ID: 10
Puns
Joel: "How's the progress on new house that you are building Pete?"
Peter: "Things are really slow at the moment."
Joel: "Yeah, I guess all this rain would be putting a dampener on things..."
ID: 10454
Puns
How are opera singers and sailors alike?
They both have to handle the high seas(Cs)!
ID: 1870
Puns
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
+10,000 Jokes