ID: 17111
Other / Misc
Why did the limping man sit on a scorpion?
He thought that it would be "pinched"!
ID: 27
Other / Misc
A drunk man walked up to an elevator. He pressed the up button and opened the doors before the elevator could come down to him. He fell all the way down, and said, "Darn it, I said up."
ID: 7854
Other / Misc
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I copied your test and I flunked too!
ID: 299
Other / Misc
A man was on a bridge as a news reporter walked by. She was told that if she didn't cover another story in 2 hours, she'd be fired. All of a sudden, the man starts to count "1,2,.."
"Wait!" interrupts the reporter.
"What is it?"
"What are you trying to do?"
"I'm going to commit suicide."
"May I join you?"
"Certainly."
The two shout "1,2..."
They're interrupted by a man walking down the street.
"May I join you?" he asks.
"Sure."
"1,2..."
As soon as the two men said 3, they jumped off, but the clever reporter stayed behind.
"3,2,1, and cue!"
"Good evening, I am just arriving at the scene of a crime. Two men just jumped off of this bridge."
ID: 8951
Other / Misc
Warning - Please DO NOT look at the bottom of the page before you answer ALL the questions
1) What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?
2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
4) What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?
5) What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?
6) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
7) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (fork)
6. (Almond Joy candy bar)
7. (last name)
ID: 3878
Other / Misc
By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace........
The article read:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."
So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished....and before leaving the house this morning I finished off bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey, the Prozac, some valium, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freakin good I feel....
ID: 9413
Other / Misc
What disease frightens ghosts the most?
BoOoOo-bonic Plague
What's the difference between girl ghosts and boy ghosts?
BoOoOo-bies
ID: 9377
Other / Misc
This website takes every precaution to protect our users' information. When users submit sensitive information via the website, your information is protected both online and off-line. If you have any questions about the security at our website, you can contact us.
ID: 8887
Other / Misc
Q: How do you keep a cheepskate busy?
A: Put him or her in a round room and tell them that you droped a $20 bill in the corner.
+10,000 Jokes