ID: 17465
One Liners
live long (die late)
ID: 13818
One Liners
Here is some random advice to make you smile...
MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips.
The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...
If you have sex 365 times a year, and if you melted down all of the condoms to make a tire, what would you call it? A fuckin Goodyear!
Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood to lift her top so he could suck her tits. "No," she said while lifting her skirt, "Eat me like the fuckin book says!"
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The rooster exclaimed, "A wet pussy always makes a cock happy!"
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
ID: 12614
One Liners
I took lessons in bicycle riding, but I could only afford half of them.
Now I can ride a unicycle.
ID: 13547
One Liners
Real friends are those who, when you think you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
ID: 13715
One Liners
Throwing acid is wrong - in some people's eyes
ID: 10767
One Liners
Question:
How long is a minute?
Answer:
That depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on!!
ID: 8603
One Liners
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
ID: 9821
One Liners
The landlady asked me if I minded making my own bed. I said I didn't and she said great there's a hammer and nails in the corner.
ID: 9046
One Liners
What do you call a stupid garbage can?
A Dumb-ster!
+10,000 Jokes