ONE LINERS

ID: 987

One Liners

Famous Last Words

Famous Last Words

"Oh come on, nobody's died from this in years."

"I saw it on Jackass last night."

"My dad did it when he was a kid."

"Yes, I'm sure that the power is off."

"It'll only hurt for a couple of days."

"See, I'm not afraid of heights."

ID: 4001

One Liners

Definition

Definition of a teenager?

God's punishment for enjoying sex.

ID: 4119

One Liners

Peer Pressure?

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.


She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

ID: 14711

One Liners

The Alligator

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

ID: 4229

One Liners

Beach's Law

Interchangeable parts aren't.

ID: 3431

One Liners

What Do You Call a Woman...

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

ID: 5902

One Liners

Bartering Tradesmen

What did one tradesman say to another?

I hope you have a "barter" day tomorrow.

ID: 2410

One Liners

Tough Chicken

Q.Where do tough chickens come from?
A.Hard boiled eggs!

ID: 7903

One Liners

Fire Extinguisher

Here's a stupid warning label:

If you look at a fire extinguisher, it will say "Non-flamable"

VIEW MORE ON APP