ID: 9460
One Liners
The only thing truly free of charge is a dead battery.
ID: 17658
One Liners
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
ID: 13200
One Liners
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.
ID: 13308
One Liners
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
Mental backup in progress - Do not disturb!
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
ID: 11190
One Liners
1. A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless you're a diabetic!!!!!
2. People who live in glass houses should have sex in their basements!!!
ID: 13715
One Liners
Throwing acid is wrong - in some people's eyes
ID: 13681
One Liners
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
ID: 8575
One Liners
Why can't a gypsy man walk right?
Because he has crystal balls!
ID: 10801
One Liners
Q: Where do nudists go fishing?
A: Moon River.
Q: What do you call a singing hot dog in New York, New York?
A: Frank Sinatra.
Q: What do you call a really smart cow?
A: Grade A beef.
Q: What song do they play at plumbers' funerals?
A: Taps.
Q: Where do you take a sick potato?
A: To a M.A.S.H. unit.
+10,000 Jokes