ID: 16952
One Liners
Definition of alien-people from another country.
ID: 627
One Liners
Then there was the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a good figure.
ID: 3991
One Liners
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
ID: 3863
One Liners
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
ID: 2402
One Liners
Q)Why does a traffic light turn red?
A)You would to if you had to change in front of all those people.
ID: 7870
One Liners
How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?
Pull down their genes.
ID: 13404
One Liners
My bedroom is so small...
The mice are hunchbacked.
I shut the door and and the doorknob was in bed with me.
I have to go outside to change my mind.
If I stand up, I'm on the second floor.
ID: 11952
One Liners
Abortion - Near Life Experience
Bald - Follically liberated
Blind - Photonically non-receptive
Bum - Displaced homeowner
Cannibalism - Intra-Species dining
Censorship - Selective speech
Cheating (Marriage) - Post-Marital Affairs
Cheating (School) - Academic Dishonesty
Clumsy - Uniquely coordinated
Corpse - Permanently static post-human mass
Cowboys - Bovine control officers
Crime Rate - Street activity index
Dead - Living impaired
Deaf - Visually oriented
Delicatessen - Corpse Farm
Dish Washer - Utensil Sanitizer
Fat - Person of substance
Gas Station Attendant - Petroleum Transfer Technician
Hunter - Meat Mercenary
Idiot - Factually Unencumbered
Insane Person - Selectively Perceptive
Midget - Vertically Challenged
ID: 2156
One Liners
What do you call happiness?
Seeing your mother-in-law's photo on the back of a milk carton!
+10,000 Jokes