ONE LINERS

ID: 17465

One Liners

Dilate

live long (die late)

ID: 13818

One Liners

Simple One Liners

Here is some random advice to make you smile...

MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips.

The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...

If you have sex 365 times a year, and if you melted down all of the condoms to make a tire, what would you call it? A fuckin Goodyear!

Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood to lift her top so he could suck her tits. "No," she said while lifting her skirt, "Eat me like the fuckin book says!"

A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The rooster exclaimed, "A wet pussy always makes a cock happy!"

Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

ID: 12614

One Liners

The Cyclist

I took lessons in bicycle riding, but I could only afford half of them.

Now I can ride a unicycle.

ID: 13547

One Liners

Real Friends

Real friends are those who, when you think you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

ID: 13715

One Liners

Acid

Throwing acid is wrong - in some people's eyes

ID: 10767

One Liners

How Long......?

Question:

How long is a minute?




Answer:

That depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on!!

ID: 8603

One Liners

On Purpose

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

ID: 9821

One Liners

Making Your Bed

The landlady asked me if I minded making my own bed. I said I didn't and she said great there's a hammer and nails in the corner.

ID: 9046

One Liners

What Do You Call A?

What do you call a stupid garbage can?

A Dumb-ster!

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