ID: 15085
News / Politics
Actual Anti-War Slogans for the War on Iraq
These colors don't run the world.
One nation under surveillance.
It's the oil, stupid.
War is expensive, Peace is priceless.
Read between the Pipelines
No More BuSh.
Smart weapons, Dumb president.
The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself.
How many Lives per Gallon?
Patriots are idiots! Matriarchy Now!
Peace Takes Brains
Anything war can do, peace can do better.
Negotiation Not Annihilation.
Another patriot for peace.
How did our oil get under their sand?
Go Solar, not Ballistic.
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
Start Drafting SUV Drivers Now.
Don't blame me, I voted with the majority.
Buck Fush!
Resistance is Fertile.
(Pictures of sheep carrying flags) Stop Mad Sheep Disease Now.
(UFW sign) Pick Fruit, not Fights.
(On a five year old) More Candy Less War.
Say can you see my democracy?
(With pictures of Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld) Asses of Evil.
Drop Bush, Not Bombs
Oh Say can You Cease?
Star Spangled Bummer
Don't Arm a Son of a Bush
Don't do it George, Dad will still love you.
Power to the Peaceful
The last time we listened to a Bush, we wandered in the desert for 40 years.
ID: 17942
News / Politics
Is anybody STILL ALIVE ON WOCKA??????
I KNOW THIS ISNT A JOKE BUT THIS WAY THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOUR ATTENTION!
HELLOOOO.... WAS THAT AN ECHO ECHO ECHO?
ID: 14588
News / Politics
Colorado
• Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
• Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
• Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
• Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
• Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
• Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
• Have you ever had the urge to rip the tag from a pillow or mattress, despite the warning of dire penalties? Well, it's perfectly legal now, if you live in Colorado. The Governor formalized the law by gleefully tearing a label from a pillow at his office. "I've been worrying about the mattress inspector jumping through the window for years," he said.
• In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
• In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
• In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
• It is against the law in Pueblo, Colorado, to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
• It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
• It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
• It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
• It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
• Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
• No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
• Pueblo: It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
• Sterling: Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
• Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
ID: 16067
News / Politics
Bill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St.Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Bill replies, "I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!" St. Peter says, "Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord." So they go to meet the Lord, who says "Who are you and what have you done?" Clinton replies, "I am Bill Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!" The Lord then says, "Come Bill, sit on my right hand." Clinton then sits down to the right of the Lord, extremely happy.
Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Al replies much the same as Bill did, stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of the US. St. Peter then takes him to meet the Lord, who offers Al the seat on his left side. Al accepts, and like Clinton, is ecstatic.
After a while, Hillary dies and gets to the gates. St. Peter asks who she is and what she did, to which she replies, "Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife of the president of the US." Peter then takes her in to meet the Lord who repeats the question, "Who are you and what have you done?" Hillary replies, "I am Hillary Rodham Clinton, and you are in my seat!"
ID: 16341
News / Politics
There once was a President who had a law that evryone had to laugh once a hour or they spent an hour in jail.
ID: 14728
News / Politics
This last weekend I was reminded at the pace we are converting to metric. I was on I-75 in Ohio when I saw a sign that said:
All signs metric - Next 20 miles.
ID: 17935
News / Politics
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
ID: 17754
News / Politics
The phone rings, Brezhnev picks up the phone: "Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich...".
ID: 17828
News / Politics
It was really hot last summer. In fact, it was so hot I saw a republican with his head out of his ass.
+10,000 Jokes