ID: 17942
News / Politics
Is anybody STILL ALIVE ON WOCKA??????
I KNOW THIS ISNT A JOKE BUT THIS WAY THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOUR ATTENTION!
HELLOOOO.... WAS THAT AN ECHO ECHO ECHO?
ID: 16572
News / Politics
The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.
ID: 16610
News / Politics
A man is bitten by a rabid dog he found wandering in his yard. Frantically, he rushes his computer and begins typing something. His neighbor walks in, and mentions to him that he need not worry, there is a cure for rabies.
He replies, "I know that; I'm finding where George Bush is right now!"
ID: 15423
News / Politics
President Bush toured parts of Missouri that were devastated by a recent tornado.
There was one awkward moment, when the President looked at the tornado damage and said, "Don't worry, we're going to get whoever did this."
ID: 17624
News / Politics
The economy is so bad. . .
if the bank returns your check marked ''Insufficient Funds,'' you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The economy is so bad. . .
a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
ID: 14567
News / Politics
1) In Bettendorf, it is illegal for liquor stores to place advertisements for beer outside the store.
2)In Mount Vernon, a person first must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks into a highway.
ID: 14792
News / Politics
A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, "All politicians are assholes."
A man sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, "I take offense to that!"
The pissed-off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a politician?"
"No," he replies, "I'm an asshole."
ID: 14588
News / Politics
Colorado
• Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
• Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
• Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
• Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
• Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
• Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
• Have you ever had the urge to rip the tag from a pillow or mattress, despite the warning of dire penalties? Well, it's perfectly legal now, if you live in Colorado. The Governor formalized the law by gleefully tearing a label from a pillow at his office. "I've been worrying about the mattress inspector jumping through the window for years," he said.
• In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
• In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
• In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
• It is against the law in Pueblo, Colorado, to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
• It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
• It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
• It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
• It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
• Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
• No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
• Pueblo: It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
• Sterling: Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
• Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
ID: 17330
News / Politics
what George W. bush thinks during his cabinet meetings.
Hmmm...what does the w stand for?
Wait... there isn't even a cabinet in here!
+10,000 Jokes