ID: 17758
News / Politics
Today, due to bad health and without regaining consciousness Konstantin Ustinovich Chernenko took up the duties of Secretary General.
ID: 15577
News / Politics
Major Scandal during their presidency....
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
The President's biggest fear....
Nixon: The Cold War
Clinton: The Cold Sore
Complaints toward the President.....
Nixon: Carpet-Bombing
Clinton: Carpet-Burns
Their Vice-Presidents...
Nixon: His was Greek
Clinton: His is a Geek.
Presidential qualities.....
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger.
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her.
Things the President couldn't explain....
Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes
Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase
Job titles....
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Slogans....
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him and saying "He's the one"
Known for....
Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak
Acquaintances....
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with G Spot
Famous feats....
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho
Quoted as....
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her
Presidential Nicknames....
Nixon: Tricky Dick
Clinton: Tricky Dick
and finally, Presidential excuses....
Nixon: I am not a crook!
Clinton: I did not do nook!
ID: 16123
News / Politics
It's the end of the world as we know it...
and I feel fine...
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad he told the three of them that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though that no matter what they did he was not changing his mind. So...
Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news. There is a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Boris Yeltsin went back and told his staff, "I have bad news and bad news. The first is there is a God. The second is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Bill Gates went back and told his staff.... "I have good news and good news. Firstly, God thinks I am one of the 3 most important people in the world. The second is, we don't have to fix the bugs in Windows95."
ID: 15104
News / Politics
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He answered it and listened intently. After a brief moment, his face lit up with a smile.
He hung up the phone and immediately called his mother to pass along the good news.
"Ma, the results are in," he shouted joyously. "I won the election!"
"Honestly?" his mother replied.
"Aw, gee, Ma, what a time to bring that up!" he said.
ID: 16066
News / Politics
President Clinton had heard of all the starving people in Somalia, and wanted to get a look for himself. He ordered his aides to prepare Air Force One.
On the plane, the president looked down with his binoculars, and said "My God! Look at them! Skinny, starving - where are our troops?"
An aide chimed in: "Er, Mr. President... that's not Somalia. It's Arkansas."
ID: 14212
News / Politics
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses
claimed that an Unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep? This
piece of information may clear up a lot of things.
ID: 15270
News / Politics
Mistake: to err, to cause an error or make a mess;
If a barber makes a mistake, it's a new style...
If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident...
If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law...
If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention...
If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion...
If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory...
If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake...
If an employee makes a mistake, it is a "MISTAKE."
ID: 14694
News / Politics
Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional...
ID: 17696
News / Politics
Hw does Battery reproduce?
Bi pluging it into Boodler's Giant ass!
+10,000 Jokes