NEWS / POLITICS

ID: 10529

News / Politics

Viagra

What happens when you give a politician viagra?

He gets taller.

ID: 14043

News / Politics

Dumb Oregon Laws.

Beaverton, OR- You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.

Portland, OR- People may not whistle underwater.

ID: 816

News / Politics

Sky News

CLASSIC QUOTE: A quote from Sky News

"Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in the Commons yesterday.

"He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr," says a British squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.

Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth."

ID: 10007

News / Politics

More Clinton 3

What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.

ID: 10270

News / Politics

Bush

George Bush to friend: Sorry I forgot your birthday. Dick Cheney forgot to put it on my to-do list.

ID: 2634

News / Politics

A big tip

Two men were running for the same seat in their state senate. The two men had just finished meeting for lunch in a restaurant.

Said the first man "I'm going to win the election because I put in a personal touch. For example, I left the waiter a ten dollar tip so that he would vote for me."

"That's nothing," replies the second man to the first, "I left the waiter a 5 cent tip, and told him that I was your campaign manager."

ID: 10245

News / Politics

Oops!

What did Dick Cheney say before he shot his hunting companion?

Ready, Fire, Aim!

ID: 761

News / Politics

Body Doubles

The eight Saddam body doubles are gathered in one of the bunkers in downtown Baghdad. Tariq Aziz, the deputy prime minister, comes in and says, 'I have some good news and some bad news.' They ask for the good news first.

Aziz says, 'The good news is that Saddam is still alive, so you all still have jobs.'

'And the bad news?' they ask.

Aziz replies, 'He's lost an arm'.

ID: 5221

News / Politics

Bush's Bills

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.
"What is it now?" sighs the president.
"It's this abortion bill," replies the aide. "What do you want to do about it?"
"Go ahead and pay it," says the president.

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