ID: 17726
News / Politics
A respected merchant Sevenassov wants to change his surname and asks the Tsar for permission. The Emperor writes his resolution: "Allowed to deduct two asses down".
ID: 14640
News / Politics
The GOP Congress will re-introduce drilling for oil in the Arctic.
Republicans say the environmental effect is minimal; a study shows caribou do not make campaign contributions.
ID: 14566
News / Politics
In Utah, the following laws are on the books:
1) Birds have the rightaway on all highways.
2)It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
3) In Tremonton, it is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance.If you are caught doing so the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
4) In Trout Creek, pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
ID: 16610
News / Politics
A man is bitten by a rabid dog he found wandering in his yard. Frantically, he rushes his computer and begins typing something. His neighbor walks in, and mentions to him that he need not worry, there is a cure for rabies.
He replies, "I know that; I'm finding where George Bush is right now!"
ID: 14900
News / Politics
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked - Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Croupiers On Strike - Management: "No Big Deal"
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest
ID: 14043
News / Politics
Beaverton, OR- You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
Portland, OR- People may not whistle underwater.
ID: 17124
News / Politics
They had quite a scare in Washington, DC, today. Apparently, President Obama was meeting with some potential cabinet nominees and someone noticed a suspicious looking document on the table that no one had ever seen before.
Turns out it was just a tax form, but it gave them quite a fright.
- Jay Leno
ID: 14803
News / Politics
Kenneth Jeffries, 24, was arrested in West Haven, Conn., in August for robbing a convenience store. Police reported that he had first offered the clerk $1 for a pack of gum as a ruse and then taken $40 in the robbery.
However, said police, Jeffries returned a minute later and asked, uncertainly, "Did I pay for the gum?"
By that time the clerk had summoned police, and Jeffries was soon apprehended.
ID: 16075
News / Politics
Seen on a bumper sticker:
"IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION."
Seen on another bumper sticker:
"CLINTON HAPPENS."
+10,000 Jokes