ID: 12883
News / Politics
When is a pencil not a pencil? When it's on a Pentagon shopping list - then it's a "portable hand-held communications inscriber", says a Republican senator.
ID: 17491
News / Politics
The teacher asks in school: "What is the most important thing in socialism?" The students consider and little Fritz (Fritzchen) answers: "The most important thing in socialism is the human!" The teacher: "That is a good answer, Fritzchen. I will give you a B-grade." Fritzchen is dissatisfied and responds emphatically: "Would you maybe give me an A if I told you what the human's name was?"
ID: 7611
News / Politics
Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and bullshit with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian.
What should I do?
Signed, Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him any more.
You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like it!
ID: 12214
News / Politics
Got to Get You Into My Sights
I Put a Shell in You
You've Shot a Friend
Huntin', Shootin', Drinkin'
Dude Looked Like a Birdie
ID: 10270
News / Politics
George Bush to friend: Sorry I forgot your birthday. Dick Cheney forgot to put it on my to-do list.
ID: 10007
News / Politics
What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.
ID: 12545
News / Politics
These four guys were walking down the street; a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "What's 'shortage'?"
The Russian says, "What's 'meat'?"
The North Korean says, "What's 'opinion'?"
The New Yorker, says, "'Excuse me'? What's 'excuse me'?"
ID: 587
News / Politics
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."
ID: 10529
News / Politics
What happens when you give a politician viagra?
He gets taller.
+10,000 Jokes