ID: 11267
News / Politics
Buck
Fush
ID: 5822
News / Politics
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up.
When it was finished, she asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she was in great shape, and that she was pregnant. "No way!" she exclaimed, but he assured her she was most definitely pregnant.
She stormed out of the examining room, grabbed the receptionist's phone and dialed the private line in the Oval Office. When Bill answered the phone, she shouted, "I can't believe it! I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
The president didn't say anything, and she screamed, "Didn't you hear me?? I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
Hesitantly, the president asked, "Um...who IS this?"
ID: 761
News / Politics
The eight Saddam body doubles are gathered in one of the bunkers in downtown Baghdad. Tariq Aziz, the deputy prime minister, comes in and says, 'I have some good news and some bad news.' They ask for the good news first.
Aziz says, 'The good news is that Saddam is still alive, so you all still have jobs.'
'And the bad news?' they ask.
Aziz replies, 'He's lost an arm'.
ID: 14212
News / Politics
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses
claimed that an Unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep? This
piece of information may clear up a lot of things.
ID: 15104
News / Politics
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He answered it and listened intently. After a brief moment, his face lit up with a smile.
He hung up the phone and immediately called his mother to pass along the good news.
"Ma, the results are in," he shouted joyously. "I won the election!"
"Honestly?" his mother replied.
"Aw, gee, Ma, what a time to bring that up!" he said.
ID: 14802
News / Politics
Bellevue, WA
There's a story circulating through the Bellevue School District about the woman who called wanting information on home schooling.
Both Lake Washington (Renton, WA) and Bellevue districts are noted for their support of home schoolers, and the Bellevue spokesperson was explaining procedures and what to do to the mother on the telephone.
Among other things, the mother needed to file a declaration of intent, a kind of home school registration. The spokeswoman offered to send out the proper form.
The mother gave a Renton address.
The spokeswoman suggested registering the children in her home district in Renton, the Lake Washington School District.
"No way," said the mother. "Everyone knows Bellevue schools are much better than Renton schools."
ID: 17754
News / Politics
The phone rings, Brezhnev picks up the phone: "Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich...".
ID: 14562
News / Politics
Does anyone know why I have nightmares?
Because the last man that had a "dream" got shot.
ID: 2788
News / Politics
Late one night in the Washington D.C., a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money!" he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"
+10,000 Jokes