ID: 3599
News / Politics
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country.
Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again, before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again, the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here; just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall". He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction, he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
ID: 11410
News / Politics
"You know that the world is going crazy when: the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." -Chris Rock
ID: 8544
News / Politics
TOP GEORGE BUSH SLOGANS
1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!
2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.
3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.
4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?
5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.
6. I promise no sex scandal: just look at me.
7. New penal plan: I won't use mine!
8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.
9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers
10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense
ID: 6802
News / Politics
Politics - A strife of interests masquerading as a contest
of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage
ID: 6177
News / Politics
--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.
--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
--Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...
--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.
--Overheard 5-year-old daughter shouting, "Faggot!" while watching "Mr. Rogers".
--Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.
--I mean come on, people. . . the dude LOST TO STEELY DAN!!!
--Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.
...And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .
--Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.
ID: 10435
News / Politics
At last. A bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY,
Someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. This hot selling bumper sticker comes from the great state of New York!
"RUN HILLARY RUN"
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
ID: 4994
News / Politics
Cows
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they can track her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
ID: 6746
News / Politics
This joke is kind of dated but it's still funny.
Al Gore, Bill, Hilary, and Chelsea Clinton were all riding in the Airforce One. Out of the blue Gore says, "I could throw a hundred, one dollar bills out the window and make a hundred people happy." Bill says, "Well I could throw ten, ten dollar bills out the window, and make ten people very happy." Hilary, not wanting to be left out, says "Well I could throw one, one hundred dollar bill out the window and make one person extremely happy." Chelsea rolled her eyes and said "Well i could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole nation happy!"
ID: 17504
News / Politics
What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Genn' se vleisch mal 'n Gofferraum offmachn? in the Saxon accent, Können Sie vielleicht mal den Kofferraum aufmachen? in standard German, which means Could you please open the trunk? )
+10,000 Jokes