ID: 17742
News / Politics
Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA?
In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished.
Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished.
ID: 17730
News / Politics
Lenin died, but his cause lives on!
ID: 17610
News / Politics
Q: Rabinovich, what is a fortune?
A: A fortune is to live in our Socialist motherland.
Q: And what's a misfortune?
A: A misfortune is to have such a fortune.
ID: 17732
News / Politics
What a coincidence: "Brezhnev died, but his body lives on."
ID: 17504
News / Politics
What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Genn' se vleisch mal 'n Gofferraum offmachn? in the Saxon accent, Können Sie vielleicht mal den Kofferraum aufmachen? in standard German, which means Could you please open the trunk? )
ID: 17510
News / Politics
During a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair, a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there is a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivers more quickly than that, it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection. Sight unseen, he made a request to order this Trabant. In Zwickau, they're aware of this great honor, so they immediately change the running Five-Year Plan and bring forward a specimen. In the container, the car reaches the emirate in a handful of weeks. The happy oil sheik immediately called his friends together, opened the container, and exclaimed in surprise: "Gosh, they have incredibly long delivery times, but at least they send you a cardboard model in advance — and the best, you can even drive it!"
ID: 17696
News / Politics
Hw does Battery reproduce?
Bi pluging it into Boodler's Giant ass!
ID: 17745
News / Politics
To sum up the Russians' experience with political leaders thus far:
Lenin showed how a country can be ruled;
Stalin showed how a country should be ruled;
Khrushchev showed that a moron can rule a country;
Brezhnev showed that not just any moron can rule a country.
ID: 17744
News / Politics
Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are all travelling together in a railway carriage.
Unexpectedly, the train stops. Lenin suggests: "Perhaps we should call a subbotnik, so that workers and peasants fix the problem."
Stalin puts his head out of the window and shouts, "If the train does not start moving, the driver will be executed!"
But the train doesn't start moving.
Khrushchev then shouts, "Let's take the rails behind the train and use them to construct the tracks in the front."
But it still doesn't move. Brezhnev then says, "Comrades, comrades, let's draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone and pretend we're moving!"
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