ID: 15577
News / Politics
Major Scandal during their presidency....
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
The President's biggest fear....
Nixon: The Cold War
Clinton: The Cold Sore
Complaints toward the President.....
Nixon: Carpet-Bombing
Clinton: Carpet-Burns
Their Vice-Presidents...
Nixon: His was Greek
Clinton: His is a Geek.
Presidential qualities.....
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger.
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her.
Things the President couldn't explain....
Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes
Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase
Job titles....
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Slogans....
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him and saying "He's the one"
Known for....
Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak
Acquaintances....
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with G Spot
Famous feats....
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho
Quoted as....
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her
Presidential Nicknames....
Nixon: Tricky Dick
Clinton: Tricky Dick
and finally, Presidential excuses....
Nixon: I am not a crook!
Clinton: I did not do nook!
ID: 17766
News / Politics
"My wife has been going to cooking school for three years." / "She must really cook well by now!" / "No, they've only reached the part about the Twentieth CPSU Congress so far."
ID: 14729
News / Politics
Leonid Brezhnev, a former ruler of Russia, was thought not to be too bright. He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts:
"Dear Comrade Imperialists,"
The whole hall perked up - "what did he say?" Brezhnev tried again...
"Dear Comrade Imperialists,"
Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium - was he trying to call them Imperialists? Then, an advisor walked over to the podium and pointed to the speech for Brezhnev. "Oh..." he muttered, and started again:
"Dear Comrades, Imperialists are everywhere."
ID: 15295
News / Politics
One way to take care of the world's population.
The IRS has reported the "disappearance" of more than 8 million American children during the late 1980s, "caused" by tax reform legislation. That number is the total of all children claimed as dependents of beneficiaries of child care tax credits before 1987 but who were never again claimed once the IRS started requiring proof that such children existed.
ID: 14566
News / Politics
In Utah, the following laws are on the books:
1) Birds have the rightaway on all highways.
2)It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
3) In Tremonton, it is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance.If you are caught doing so the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
4) In Trout Creek, pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
ID: 14792
News / Politics
A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, "All politicians are assholes."
A man sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, "I take offense to that!"
The pissed-off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a politician?"
"No," he replies, "I'm an asshole."
ID: 14562
News / Politics
Does anyone know why I have nightmares?
Because the last man that had a "dream" got shot.
ID: 14567
News / Politics
1) In Bettendorf, it is illegal for liquor stores to place advertisements for beer outside the store.
2)In Mount Vernon, a person first must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks into a highway.
ID: 15105
News / Politics
While running for the Senate in New York, the young man's political advisor heard some very upsetting news.
"Listen," he said, "you must go to Albany right away or you're going to lose a lot of votes. They're telling lies about you there."
"I have to go to Buffalo first or I'll lose even more votes," replied the candidate.
"Why? What's happening in Buffalo?" the advisor asked.
"They're telling the truth about me!" replied the candidate.
+10,000 Jokes