ID: 17745
News / Politics
To sum up the Russians' experience with political leaders thus far:
Lenin showed how a country can be ruled;
Stalin showed how a country should be ruled;
Khrushchev showed that a moron can rule a country;
Brezhnev showed that not just any moron can rule a country.
ID: 16576
News / Politics
3 sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten.
The first one says, "I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick."
The second shark says, "That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Yeltsin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk."
The third shark laughs and said, "You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!"
ID: 16341
News / Politics
There once was a President who had a law that evryone had to laugh once a hour or they spent an hour in jail.
ID: 16107
News / Politics
* Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pay with two $16 bills.
* The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on
nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
* A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St.
Louis. By the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen
pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of
whiplash injuries and back pain.
* A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C. A few days
later he went with his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch he went out for a sandwich. His girlfriend needed him, so she had him paged by the bailiff. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him when he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
* When two service stations in Ionia, Michigan, refused to
hand over cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
ID: 17486
News / Politics
How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
ID: 16575
News / Politics
Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And George W. Bush can't tell the difference."
ID: 17295
News / Politics
One day, a Democrat was on vacation. He was walking along the beach, when he hit his toe on a hard object, and looking down, he saw a small, shiny golden lamp sticking out of the sand.
Excited, he grabbed the lamp, and rubbed its side. A genie appeared from the lamp and said, "Thank you for releasing me. You may have three wishes. But I am a Republican genie; whatever you wish for, every Republican will get two of tomorrow morning."
The Democrat nodded, and said, "I'd like a shiny new car." The genie said, "Your wish is granted. Every Republican ill have two new shiny cars in their driveways tomorrow morning;" and a new car appeared next to them.
"I want a million dollars," said the Democrat. The genie answered by saying, "Every Republican will have two million dollars tomorrow morning;" and one million dollars appeared on the driver's seat of the car.
The Democrat thought long and hard about his last wish, until finally saying, "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney . . ."
ID: 17496
News / Politics
"The fact that the GDR considers itself as one of the 5 technologically most advanced power of the nations may be be given to the fact that there are only 5 fingers on a hand. " University lecture in Hungary in the 70s
ID: 17489
News / Politics
A west-german boy to a ddr-boy: Why is the banana curved? The ossie replies: Why, is this curved? (old Hungarian joke)
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