ID: 17749
News / Politics
Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Applause.) "Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Long, loud applause.) "Who sneezed?" (Silence.) ...A dejected voice in the back: "It was me" (Sobs.) Stalin leans forward: "Bless you, comrade!"
ID: 18038
News / Politics
The European union has decided the only way to avoid Greece defaulting on its debts is to replace the government and civil service with 300 Spartans !
ID: 17726
News / Politics
A respected merchant Sevenassov wants to change his surname and asks the Tsar for permission. The Emperor writes his resolution: "Allowed to deduct two asses down".
ID: 17742
News / Politics
Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA?
In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished.
Just the same, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!" and you will not be punished.
ID: 17738
News / Politics
Abramovich was sentenced to 5 years, served 10, then fortunately was paroled before he served the rest of his sentence.
ID: 17732
News / Politics
What a coincidence: "Brezhnev died, but his body lives on."
ID: 17668
News / Politics
The Armenian Radio was asked: "Is it possible to enjoy life to the fullest in the Soviet Union?"
The Armenian Radio answers: "Yes, if you like crowded trains."
ID: 17613
News / Politics
Q: Comrade Lev, why now, just when things are getting better for your people, are you applying for an exit visa to make aliyah to Israel?
A: Well, comrade, there are two reasons. One is that my next-door neighbor is Pamyat and he tells me that after they get rid of you communists, they are coming next after the Jews.
Q: But they will never get rid of us communists!
A: I know, I know, of course you are right! And that's the other reason.
ID: 17728
News / Politics
Midnight Petrograd... A night watch spots a shadow trying to sneak by. "Stop! Who goes there? Documents!" The frightened person chaotically shuffles through his pockets and drops a paper. A soldier picks it up and reads slowly, with difficulty: "U.ri.ne A.na.ly.sis"... "Hmm... a foreigner, sounds like..." "A spy, looks like.... Let's shoot him on the spot!" Then reads further: "'Proteins: none, Sugars: none, Fats: none...' You are free to go, proletarian comrade! Long live the World revolution!"
+10,000 Jokes