ID: 14901
News / Politics
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day - Let's Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
ID: 11267
News / Politics
Buck
Fush
ID: 5260
News / Politics
A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?"
"Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand."
The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes to his parents' room to wake them up, but only his mother is there, snoring loudly. He goes to the nanny's room instead and finds the door locked. When he looks through the keyhole, he sees his father in bed with the nanny. Frustrated, he just goes back to bed.
In the morning, the boy goes to his father and says, "I think I understand politics now."
"Good," says the father. "Let's see what you've come up with."
"Well," says the boy, "While the economy is screwing the working class, the government is fast asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep shit."
ID: 12770
News / Politics
Presidents on a sinking ship!
Ford says: "What do we do?"
Bush says: "Man the lifeboats!"
Reagan says: "What lifeboats?"
Carter says: "Women first!"
Nixon says: "Screw the women!"
Clinton says: "You think we have time?"
ID: 4274
News / Politics
1. Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
2. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Child a Dime!
3. Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just isn't Good Enough.
4. Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer!
5. Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
6. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Billionaire Behind
7. Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism
8. Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not Paying Attention
9. Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast
10. Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us!
11. Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars
12. Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil
13. Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile
14. Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
15. Vote Bush in '04: Because Dictatorship is Easier
16. George W. Bush: A Brainwave away from the Presidency
17. George W. Bush: It Takes a Village Idiot
18. Don't Think. Vote Bush!
19. BU_ _SH_ _!
ID: 13982
News / Politics
In Clinton, Alabama, it is illegal to molest your automobile.
Now how would you go about doing that? And how would your automobile testify against you?
ID: 11831
News / Politics
A merger has been announced between the California Highway Patrol (CHiPs) and the California Fish and Game Department.
It will be called Fish and Chips.
ID: 11410
News / Politics
"You know that the world is going crazy when: the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." -Chris Rock
ID: 14198
News / Politics
1/20/09: End of an Error
That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway
Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First
If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran
If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?
George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight
America: One Nation, Under Surveillance
They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
Whose God Do You Kill For?
Cheney/Satan '08
Jail to the Chief
No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?
Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap
Bad President! No Banana.
We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language
We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them
Is It Vietnam Yet?
Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?
You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.
Impeach Cheney First
Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too
The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century
What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?
One Nation Under Clod
2004: Embarrassed. 2005: Horrified. 2006: Terrified.
Bush Never Exhaled
At Least Nixon Resigned
+10,000 Jokes