ID: 17755
News / Politics
"Have you heard it? Brezhnev died!" / "What happened, heart attack?" / "No, short-circuit of eyebrows."
ID: 15085
News / Politics
Actual Anti-War Slogans for the War on Iraq
These colors don't run the world.
One nation under surveillance.
It's the oil, stupid.
War is expensive, Peace is priceless.
Read between the Pipelines
No More BuSh.
Smart weapons, Dumb president.
The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself.
How many Lives per Gallon?
Patriots are idiots! Matriarchy Now!
Peace Takes Brains
Anything war can do, peace can do better.
Negotiation Not Annihilation.
Another patriot for peace.
How did our oil get under their sand?
Go Solar, not Ballistic.
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
Start Drafting SUV Drivers Now.
Don't blame me, I voted with the majority.
Buck Fush!
Resistance is Fertile.
(Pictures of sheep carrying flags) Stop Mad Sheep Disease Now.
(UFW sign) Pick Fruit, not Fights.
(On a five year old) More Candy Less War.
Say can you see my democracy?
(With pictures of Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld) Asses of Evil.
Drop Bush, Not Bombs
Oh Say can You Cease?
Star Spangled Bummer
Don't Arm a Son of a Bush
Don't do it George, Dad will still love you.
Power to the Peaceful
The last time we listened to a Bush, we wandered in the desert for 40 years.
ID: 366
News / Politics
As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.''
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms.
''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.''
''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.''
''But my friend, where is the danger in this?''
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''
ID: 109
News / Politics
G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."
She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.
G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."
So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"
So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."
And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
ID: 816
News / Politics
CLASSIC QUOTE: A quote from Sky News
"Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in the Commons yesterday.
"He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr," says a British squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.
Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth."
ID: 6105
News / Politics
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.
She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walk behind their husbands, but now seem to walk even further back and are happy with the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you used to try and change?"
"Land mines," said the woman.
MORAL: BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN
ID: 16082
News / Politics
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!" Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll have those mirrors removed right away!"
ID: 14562
News / Politics
Does anyone know why I have nightmares?
Because the last man that had a "dream" got shot.
ID: 7962
News / Politics
One day a cop walks in to a barber shop and gets a haircut. He tries to pay the barber but the barber says, "Im doing free haircuts this week." The cop thanks him and walks away. The next day there is a box of a dozen donuts on the barber's desk. A republican walks in and gets a haircut. He tries to pay the barber but the barber says, "Im doing free haircuts this week." The republican thanks him and walks away. The next day there is a self help book on his desk. A democrat walks in and gets a haircut. He tries to pay the barber but barber says, "I'm doing free haircuts this week." The next day, there are 20 democrats at the door waiting for a free haircut.
+10,000 Jokes