ID: 17750
News / Politics
Why was Khrushchev deseated? Because of the Seven "C"s: Cult of personality, Communism, China, Cuban Crisis, Corn, and Cuzka's mother.
ID: 3567
News / Politics
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional reason.
They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was, however, no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.
ID: 5822
News / Politics
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up.
When it was finished, she asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she was in great shape, and that she was pregnant. "No way!" she exclaimed, but he assured her she was most definitely pregnant.
She stormed out of the examining room, grabbed the receptionist's phone and dialed the private line in the Oval Office. When Bill answered the phone, she shouted, "I can't believe it! I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
The president didn't say anything, and she screamed, "Didn't you hear me?? I'm pregnant! You got me pregnant!"
Hesitantly, the president asked, "Um...who IS this?"
ID: 13358
News / Politics
Two Saudis emigrated to America with their families. On the plane ride over they made a bet about who could become more "Americanized" in their first year.
As agreed, they met exactly one year later. The first guy pulled up in his Hummer and said to the second guy "I win. There's no way you can beat me: I just dropped my son off at Little League, I'm on my way to pick my daughter up from cheerleading practice, and I stopped at McDonalds on my way here."
And the second guy said "Fuck you, towelhead!"
ID: 7544
News / Politics
There have been recent terrorist activities in France. Today the had to upgrade their security system from "Run" to "Hide". If things get any worse they'll have to go to "Surrender", and then "Beg for Mercy".
ID: 11926
News / Politics
1. Wake up and stumble in the room 40 minutes late.
2. Blame all of the problems in America on 9/11 and Iraq.
3. Pronounce "nuclear" right.
4. Publish my dog's sequel.
5. Show off my awesome golf shot.
Hey, I counted to five!
ID: 12561
News / Politics
The following are headlines that *might* have appeared in papers in the aftermath of Little Bighorn -
Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"
Pravda: "Big Red Victory"
Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"
Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"
Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"
The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"
ID: 6802
News / Politics
Politics - A strife of interests masquerading as a contest
of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage
ID: 3293
News / Politics
Bill Clinton and Al Gore went into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu, the waitress came over and asked Clinton, "Are you ready to order, sir?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!" the waitress replies with disgust. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life, I don't believe that's a good idea. I'll come back later when you are ready to make an order from the MENU." She walks away.
Al Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Sir, it's pronounced 'Quiche'"
+10,000 Jokes