NEWS / POLITICS

ID: 6802

News / Politics

Politics

Politics - A strife of interests masquerading as a contest
of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage

ID: 17488

News / Politics

Banana Machines

In the GDR, at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

ID: 17755

News / Politics

Short-circuit

"Have you heard it? Brezhnev died!" / "What happened, heart attack?" / "No, short-circuit of eyebrows."

ID: 17888

News / Politics

Water Bottle

What's the difference between a water bottle and puberty?

The water bottle hit Justin Bieber first.

ID: 17754

News / Politics

Dear Leonid Ilyich

The phone rings, Brezhnev picks up the phone: "Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich...".

ID: 17844

News / Politics

You're Know You're From Alaska If . .2

1. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches.

2. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number.

3. If you know how to say Matanuska, Tokositna, Kichatna, Oshetna, Bodenburg and Muktuk.

4. If you think that ketchup is one of the seven main food groups.

5. If your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a motor home on the highway.

6. If your whole family wears mukluks to church on Sunday.

7. If you see people wearing camouflage at social events - including weddings and funerals.

ID: 17771

News / Politics

Stalin's Ghost

Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says, "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue." "Why blue?" Putin asks. "Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

ID: 18059

News / Politics

News Flash

Today's school kids are spending less time at recess than their predecessors. Experts say if the trends continues, future Congressmen may not have enough experience goofing off.

ID: 17841

News / Politics

Osama Bin Laden's Greeting At The Pearly Gates?

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates.

There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

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