ID: 17874
News / Politics
Did you hear the one about when the Great Recession began? The President appointed a cat to chair the Federal Reserve. Do you know why?
Because when a cat falls, it always lands on its feet.
ID: 17488
News / Politics
In the GDR, at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!
ID: 16302
News / Politics
California Version
The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor's office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
71% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio."
ID: 14212
News / Politics
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses
claimed that an Unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep? This
piece of information may clear up a lot of things.
ID: 17330
News / Politics
what George W. bush thinks during his cabinet meetings.
Hmmm...what does the w stand for?
Wait... there isn't even a cabinet in here!
ID: 16123
News / Politics
It's the end of the world as we know it...
and I feel fine...
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad he told the three of them that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though that no matter what they did he was not changing his mind. So...
Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news. There is a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Boris Yeltsin went back and told his staff, "I have bad news and bad news. The first is there is a God. The second is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Bill Gates went back and told his staff.... "I have good news and good news. Firstly, God thinks I am one of the 3 most important people in the world. The second is, we don't have to fix the bugs in Windows95."
ID: 16576
News / Politics
3 sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten.
The first one says, "I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick."
The second shark says, "That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Yeltsin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk."
The third shark laughs and said, "You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!"
ID: 15698
News / Politics
"Michael Vick shouldn't go to jail for dog fighting."
"Why? It's a crime."
"Well, it's one thing to fight your friends or someone at a bar, but it's your dog. You should be able to fight him if he gets in your face."
"What?"
ID: 17326
News / Politics
Real Quotes By George Bush:
This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn't think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada." - George W. Bush, as reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009.
"I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened." - George W. Bush, on what he hopes to accomplish with his memoir, as reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009.
"One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people's money to help prevent there to be a crisis." - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009.
"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009.
"In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession." - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009.
"I guess it's OK to call the secretary of education here 'buddy.' That means friend." - George W. Bush, Philadelphia, Jan. 8, 2009.
"So I analyzed that and decided I didn't want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression." - George W. Bush, Washington D.C., Dec. 18, 2008.
"People say, well, do you ever hear any other voices other than, like, a few people? Of course I do." - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2008.
"I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system." - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008.
+10,000 Jokes