ID: 752
Men / Women
How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.
ID: 3365
Men / Women
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes
to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON, blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR blah,blah,blah,blah,
NO CLOTHES blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW!
ID: 16329
Men / Women
How Greeks Do Business
CON talks to his son George.
CON (father): "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
GEORGE (son): "I will choose my own bride!"
CON (father): "But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.."
GEORGE (son): "Well, in that case... okay."
Next CON approaches Bill Gates.
CON (father): "I have a husband for your daughter.... "
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
CON (father): "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah! In that case... okay."
Finally, CON goes to see the president of the World Bank.
CON: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!"
CON: "But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case... okay."
And that is how Greeks do business.
ID: 10053
Men / Women
What is the name of a naked woman lying between two naked men?
Sharin Peters
ID: 12131
Men / Women
US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
ID: 7572
Men / Women
If your ex-lover wants you back and you want him to know your serious, here's something you could say:
"Come on back and take yo space,
'cuz if you break my heart again,
I'll break yo face".
ID: 7580
Men / Women
Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride.
"What's the problem?"
"I want to hit that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man.
"I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!"
"Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!
ID: 7599
Men / Women
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"
ID: 11694
Men / Women
Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.
They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.
The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.
+10,000 Jokes