ID: 1717
Men / Women
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
ID: 7827
Men / Women
A woman goes into Wal- Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the cash register . A Wal - Mart associate is standing there with dark shades on.
She says," Excuse me , sir , can you tell me any thing about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everthing about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him , but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "The rod and reel is $20."
She says," That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register. Just then, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her; being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says,"That will be $25.50."
"But didn't you say it was $20.00?"
"Yes , ma'am. The rod and reel is $ 20.00,
the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
ID: 17919
Men / Women
The farmer had 3 daughters; Flo, Betty, and Sam. Each girl had a date that night, but being the overprotective father that he was he had to meet the guy first. so sitting there in his chair with a shotgun he meets the guys. the first walks up and says "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to see the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer allows them to go off, and the next boy comes up. "Hey, my name is Petty, I'm here for Betty, we're getting spaghetti is she ready?" The Farmer allows them to go. Now the last guy comes up. "Hi, I'm Chuck..." and BAM the farmer shoots him
ID: 16445
Men / Women
At a wedding, the D.J. polled the guests to see who had been married the longest.
The winners were then asked, "What advice do you have for the newlyweds?"
The wife quickly responded, "The three most important words in a marriage are 'You're probably right'." Everyone then looked at the husband.
He said, "Yeah, she's probably right!"
ID: 16355
Men / Women
What do you call an intelligent, good looking and sensitive man?
A rumour
ID: 15887
Men / Women
A Mexican jail guard died from an excess of zeal while supervising an inmate's conjugal visit. Raul Zarate Diaz was closely watching his charge from the roof of the prison when he tripped over an air vent, crashed through the skylight, and fell 23 feet to land beside the bed where the inmate and his wife were, against all odds, enjoying an intimate moment. The interrupted prisoner, offended by the intrusion, attempted to start a riot, but was squelched by prison security.
Prisoners in the Tapachula facility reported that Diaz was in the habit of prowling the prison roof during conjugal visits, in search of prisoners to supervise. Local law enforcement reported that the guard was clutching a pornographic magazine, which was retained as evidence, and binoculars, whose sentimental value led to them being given back to the family of the deceased.
ID: 16860
Men / Women
Philip is telling his friends about his recent divorce.
"Yes, it's true. Sylvie divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn't have any."
ID: 16004
Men / Women
What's the difference between man and life?
Life is always hard.
ID: 16280
Men / Women
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting on a bench by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, Mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
"Oh, no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon," replied Rosita. "Please, corazoncita, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang .....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Jear."
+10,000 Jokes