ID: 14865
Men / Women
Why do bald men put holes in their pockets?
So they can run their fingers through their hair!
ID: 8411
Men / Women
Why don't vegetarian women scream during orgasms?
They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!
ID: 7825
Men / Women
A gay couple (of guys) and a lesbian couple decide to leave from New York to Miami at the same time. The two couples are neighbors and they plan on driving the same route. so the question is who gets to Miami first?
Why the lesbians of course!
They go lickety split while the guys are still at home packin'.
ID: 8746
Men / Women
Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
ID: 7757
Men / Women
A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
ID: 9634
Men / Women
When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"
"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.
"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.
"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.
"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."
ID: 8714
Men / Women
How women think about sex:
At 8, ignore it.
At 18, experience it.
At 28, look for it.
At 38, ask for it.
At 48, beg for it.
At 58, pay for it.
At 68, pray for it.
At 78, forget it.
ID: 9861
Men / Women
What's the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story.
At 78 - You can get out of bed, that's another story.
ID: 8091
Men / Women
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'.
That makes me late to work. I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.'
On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'.
So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."
The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"
+10,000 Jokes