ID: 7167
Men / Women
Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women...
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ID: 10637
Men / Women
My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores.
One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet, that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here."
The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper.
The note read, "Neither does Bob Vila."
ID: 3225
Men / Women
Girls are in the shower for at least an hour.
Incredibly guys can take a shower in 5 minutes.
Very beautiful girls are seldom intelligent.
Even blond guys have some brains.
Married women marry hoping their guy will change.
Every man marries hoping their wife wont change.
Pretty girls can usually get what they want.
Unlike good looking guys who still have to suffer.
Some girls are actually great relationship material.
Some guys cant find those girls.
ID: 1240
Men / Women
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON'T TOUCH THOSE-they're for the funeral!"
ID: 1703
Men / Women
Attending the funeral of an actress who had been married ten times, a friend sobbed to the priest, "Well, at least they're together at last."
The clergyman looked around. "Which of her husbands is buried here?"
"None," said the friend. "I meant, her legs."
ID: 6771
Men / Women
A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."
ID: 6289
Men / Women
Women are like beer. They look good, smell good, taste good, and feel good. But after a while you gotta have another beer!
ID: 7085
Men / Women
During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman from the back of the theater yelled out, "Hey, how'd you do that?"
"I could tell you, madam," the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause, she yelled back, "Ok, then... Just tell my husband!"
ID: 884
Men / Women
There are three well known rings to marriage:
Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and suffering!
+10,000 Jokes