ID: 1609
Men / Women
For all you Blonde ladies out there.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them
ID: 13150
Men / Women
(This joke was copied from the "Fresh Price of Bel Air" show and are not my original jokes).
40 is the begining.... the begining of the end.
40 is the begining of life. Did I say life?... i meant gum disease!
ID: 16602
Men / Women
If you do not want to say you're a guy, do not read this joke. (I do not know if this is funny)
Instructions: At the end of each sentence say "I'm a Guy"
You meet this hot girl.
(I'm a Guy)
You ask her out.
(I'm a Guy)
You take her to the movies.
(I'm a Guy)
You buy her popcorn.
(I'm a Guy)
She asks you over.
(I'm a Guy)
When she closes the door she whispers in your ear.
I'M A GUY!!!!!!!!!
ID: 16074
Men / Women
I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am the proud father of an 8 pound 7 ounce baby boy.
Boy, is my wife gonna be mad when she finds out!
ID: 16013
Men / Women
A gentleman came into work one day and he and I felt one of those instant and mutual attractions to one another. He gave me his card and told me to call him. Well, it just so happened that his card had his home address on it, so I thought I would just check out his place to scope out the merchandise, so to speak. Driving down his street, I slowed down to a near-crawl and hung my head out the window, looking for his house number. The house number proved to be irrelevant, though, when I looked up and saw him standing on his porch, waving at me! There I was with my head hanging out and my mouth wide open, looking like some kind of stalker! Needless to say, I did not wave back to him (I floored the gas pedal instead!) and I never called him. What would I have said?!?
ID: 16322
Men / Women
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.
Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, he's warm for the rest of his life.
ID: 16518
Men / Women
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"
Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!
ID: 16848
Men / Women
Elsie walked into a print lab to have a photo of her deceased husband copied and retouched.
She said to the technician, "I have always hated the hat that my husband is wearing in the photo. Could you please retouch the hat out?" "Of course," said the technician; "what colour hair did your husband have?"
"When you take the hat off, you'll see," she said.
ID: 16077
Men / Women
If a couple in Arkansas get married, move to Washington, then move back to Arkansas, are they still brother and sister?
+10,000 Jokes