ID: 10736
Men / Women
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
ID: 13182
Men / Women
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"
I slowly took a long drink from my can of Old Milwaukee Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Oakley sunglasses and looked at this nosy ass neighbor and replied,
"I am. That's why she cuts the grass."
ID: 10546
Men / Women
Cover Charge: $15.00
Round of Drinks: $23.00
Table Dance: $30.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Couch Dance and Tips: $50.00
A Round of Shots: $34.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Lap Dance and Hand Job: $100.00
Private Dance and Hotel Room: $500.00
Sending her on her way without having to cuddle or listen to her:
...........PRICELESS!
ID: 15905
Men / Women
Fill in the blank:
The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing _________.
Yesterday.
ID: 10247
Men / Women
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy
ID: 9707
Men / Women
What are three two letter words for small?
Is It In?
ID: 8519
Men / Women
A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business.
After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice, "Well, just what are you doing?" She replies, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money!!"
ID: 8411
Men / Women
Why don't vegetarian women scream during orgasms?
They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!
ID: 18019
Men / Women
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his ass!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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