ID: 12484
Men / Women
Know why men are men and women are WOmen?
Men keep saying -
WO man, check out her boobs!
ID: 5798
Men / Women
One morning, during breakfast, I say, "I had the strangest dream. It was about aliens."
My mother asks, "What are aliens?"
My father asks, "What kind?"
ID: 2794
Men / Women
Men are like... Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like... Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like... Lava Lamps. Fun to look at but not so bright.
Men are like... Bank accounts, without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like... High heels, they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
ID: 3671
Men / Women
A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited.
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.
He replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't."
ID: 3805
Men / Women
There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their ass. I thought the results were pretty interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too big...
10% of women think their ass is too little...
The other 5% say that they don't care -- they love him and would have married him anyway.
ID: 4225
Men / Women
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are quite excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "Many kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacies: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: Hesitates slightly but answers, "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely!"
Jacob: "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob turns and confers with his wife to be and then says to the pharmacist,
"We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."
ID: 629
Men / Women
She frowned and called him Mr.
Because in sport he kr.
And so in spite
That very night
The Mr. kr. sr.
ID: 3160
Men / Women
Ladies and gentlemen,
This five-letter-word little thing belongs to men, and no women. Some men have long ones, others shorter. It's straight in some men, and crooked in others. It may turn soft or hard in just a matter of seconds. Useless to some, it boasts manhood for others. Children wonder about it, young men are proud of it, while old men see their age in it. And whatever it is, some women love it, while others are afraid of it.
What is that darn thing anyway?
Scroll down for ANSWER
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beard, of course! what else? ;-)
ID: 1717
Men / Women
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
+10,000 Jokes