ID: 14616
Men / Women
A man into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the prostitute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants.
The hooker almost faints; the guy has a 18 inch cock.
She says, "Hold on pal, I'll lick it, I'll suck it,
but you're not sticking that in me."
The man pulls up his pants, picks up his $50, and says, "Screw that, I can do that myself!"
ID: 6878
Men / Women
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
ID: 1337
Men / Women
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
ID: 4299
Men / Women
WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day."
HUSBAND : " I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!"
ID: 566
Men / Women
A husband & wife are talking.
Husband: "How many times have you cheated on me?"
Wife: "Only twice."
Husband: "Tell me about them."
Wife: "Remember when you were very sick, and we didn't have money to pay for the doctor? Well, I slept with him."
Husband: "That's not so bad; and the other?"
Wife: "Remember when you were running in the elections, and you needed 450 votes?"
ID: 1386
Men / Women
The following are 10 ways to tell if you have PMS,
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving - call 1-800-***-****."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting
practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The Motrin bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
ID: 1281
Men / Women
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he asks.
"I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he is dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.
''You bastard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"
ID: 4217
Men / Women
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.
The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he'd like to screw the tail off his secretary."
ID: 685
Men / Women
What's the difference between men and women?
Women zoom with a camera by walking closer or farther away; men just push the button!
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