ID: 17847
Lightbulb
This is from a script for an upcoming animated series I'm working on. Keep in mind that Chris is 19 years-old.
Setting-Turner household
Characters-Chris, Johnathan, and Evan (wearing maids uniform)
(Chris walks into the living room with his backpack on. Johnathan is eating breakfast, and Evan is mopping the kitchen floor.)
Johnathan: Hey Chris are you ready for school?
Chris: I sure am Johnathan.
Evan: Hey Chris
Chris: Hey Evan
Johnathan: Come on eat some breakfast. I made you pancakes.
Chris: I want eggs.
Johnathan: You don't like eggs.
Chris: Yeah I do.
Johnathan: No, you say you like eggs. But then when I give them to you, you throw a fit and say they're nasty.
Chris: I promise I won't.
Johnathan: Alright fine then. (Puts eggs on Chris' plate)
Chris: (Smacks the plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-Screen) Oh my god aaaah! There's pepper in my eye!
Johnathan: What the hell!?
Chris: You forgot the cheese.
Johnathan: Yeah well you're not getting anymore breakfast.
Chris: But I'm hungry.
Johnathan: Fine, but I'm giving you pancakes. (Puts pancakes on Chris' plate)
Chris: Thank you. (Smacks plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-screen) Ah, Dammit! There's syrup in my wounds!
Johnathan: What was that for!?
Chris: I wanted the Mickey Mouse pancakes.
Johnathan: (Facepalm)
ID: 314
Lightbulb
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two (think about it)
ID: 12929
Lightbulb
Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.
ID: 8619
Lightbulb
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.
ID: 11243
Lightbulb
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Wizards don't use lightbulbs!
ID: 2504
Lightbulb
Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?
ID: 16289
Lightbulb
How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb?
1. No, 2, no, 4, no, 8, no, 16, 32, 64, 128 . . .
ID: 285
Lightbulb
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one-they don't like to share the spotlight.
ID: 1411
Lightbulb
Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get it changed overnight.
+10,000 Jokes