ID: 10415
Insults
Why do alot of people go to black peoples yard sales?
A:To get there stuff back.
ID: 18082
Insults
My girl told me she was trying to lose weight, so I said, "Do whatever makes you happy inside. Just keep in mind that your weight's just a number. There's no number in the world to measure how beautiful you are . . . unless you include negative numbers."
ID: 13235
Insults
These pick up lines are so nasty, they're insults...
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
Baby, I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
Hey baby, let's play army; I'll lay down you can blow me up.
If your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
You're like Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
If you were a car door I would slam you all night long.
Baby, you're so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out?
Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile.
Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake?
I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must have been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out?
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
You have nice legs. What time do they open?
Do you like Subway? How about my foot-long?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it?
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!
Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!
Are you a parking ticket, cause you have fine written all over you?
If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?
ID: 11723
Insults
Good insult:
Your mom goes to college!
Good comeback:
How do you know? Stalker!
ID: 11413
Insults
Money may not grow on trees, but it would seem as if morons like you certainly do.
ID: 13069
Insults
Act naturally
Happily married
Microsoft Works
Holy war
Found missing
Resident alien
Minor Catastrophe
Affordable housing
Near miss
Great depression
Canadian army
Phone sex
United nations
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Death benefits
Airline Food
Women's rights
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Sensitive man
Government organization
Everything except
Civil War
Good kid
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally drunk
Silent scream
British fashion
Living dead
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt Head
Military Intelligence
Software documentation
New York culture
New classic
Sweet sorrow
Childproof
"Now, then"
Synthetic natural gas
Christian Scientists
Passive aggressive
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct Life
Temporary tax increase
New and improved
Computer jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Diet ice cream
Rap music
Working vacation
Exact estimate
Religious tolerance
Freezer Burn
Honest Politician
Jumbo Shrimp
Loners Club
Postal Service
ID: 1038
Insults
You're so stupid that you sold your car for gas money!
ID: 4349
Insults
George W. Bush was invited to visit the Queen of England. The Queen gets her finest horses and buggy. When Bush gets off the plane, and onto the buggy, Bush and the Queen ingage in a conversation. In the middle of their conversation, one of the horse let out a really big, really smelly fart. The Queen quickly apoligizes and says "I'm sorry, theirs somethings not even a Queen can control." Bush replies "Ma'am, if you wouldn't have said anything, I would have thought it was the horse."
ID: 12667
Insults
You're so stupid, you traded your car in for petrol!
+10,000 Jokes