ID: 11413
Insults
Money may not grow on trees, but it would seem as if morons like you certainly do.
ID: 17818
Insults
A black man and a Jew jump off a building; who wins?
Society.
ID: 9321
Insults
You are so small that on your ID picture, your feet showed.
ID: 9448
Insults
Parent: You two should sing in the talent show together.
Tim: When pigs fly!
cindy: You fly?
ID: 13713
Insults
The Perfect Halloween Costume
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel
and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
ID: 16565
Insults
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
ID: 13063
Insults
A collection of insults!
For two cents, I`d give you a piece of my mind -- and all of yours.
You are the only person I've ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time!
You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth!
I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.
I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.
You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
ID: 16561
Insults
Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up
ID: 16609
Insults
A girl named Zoey goes up to an artist and asks him to paint a picture of her face. "But Miss Zoey, if I paint a picture of your face then I can never be an artist again."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because if I look at your face too long, I will go blind."
+10,000 Jokes