ID: 6477
Gross
What's grosser than gross?
When you're eating a bowl of rice crispies and one gets up and slithers away.
ID: 11475
Gross
Three friends decided to check out a room in a hotel, but before the man gave them their key he said, "In your room there is a window. If you jump out of it while wishing something outloud your wish will come true."
The three friends raced to their room, the first guy jumped out and said, "I wish for a big pile of money!" and landed in one. The second guy wished for a group of cheerleaders that would love him. He jumped out and landed in their arms. The third guy got a running start, tripped over the window frame and said, "Crap!" Let's just say he went back to wish for lots and lots of soap.
ID: 619
Gross
Why can't Dolly Parton be a teacher?
Because every time she turns around she erases the black board.
ID: 3817
Gross
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed
to see such fun
then died of electric shock.
ID: 583
Gross
Q. If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the
bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come
out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you
are in the bathroom?
A. EUROPEAN... of course!
ID: 295
Gross
A man is sitting at his register and a beautiful young women comes in asking to use the bathroom. Even though she is beautiful the man refuses to let her use it. At least until she buys something. So she buys a pack of gum and then asks again. He says, "yes."
She comes out a few minutes later, and in her most seductive voice starts talking to him, she slips her finger in his mouth and lets him lick it for awhile. After a while she pops her finger out of his mouth and says, "You're out of toilet paper."
ID: 1022
Gross
Bob and Bo are hunting. Bob had a sever case of diarrhea so he decided to stay and rest up. Bo goes out and kills a big deer and guts it. He then thinks it would be funny if he laid the deers guts in Bob's sleeping bag so he does and goes to sleep. Then he wakes up the next morning and see's that Bob and the guts are gone. Then he notices Bob and asks how's he feeling. Bob says, "My diarrhea was so bad I crapped my guts out but with God's grace and these two fingers I got them all back in."
ID: 2569
Gross
Three men, a fat man, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge.
The Puerto Rican asks, "Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle of vodka!"
The Russian replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
The Puerto Rican doesn't want to be upstaged, so he removes a joint from his pocket, takes a long puff, and then throws the rest of it over the bridge.
The fat man exclaims, "Hey! What the hell did you do that for? That was a perfectly good joint!"
The Puerto Rican replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
Now, the fat man doesn't want to be upstaged, so he searches through his pockets but he can't find anything. He looks around for a moment, then rips off his stomach and throws it over the bridge.
The Russian exclaims, "What the hell did you do that for?Thats gross!"
The American replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
ID: 815
Gross
A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island. He had
lost his boat, his livelihood and possessions. He was trudging round the
island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on
the beach. Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps in jokes) he rubbed it.
POOF!
A Genie appeared. A Jewish Genie. "Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta
there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul! What can I do for you my boy?"
The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes. "Wishes, Schmishes!
Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think
about my margins."
"Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration "I'd like to be white
and surrounded by women."
"No problem" said the Genie.
POOF! - the Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.
Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie - there's always a string attached
+10,000 Jokes