ID: 1036
Gross
Why does Santa have such big balls?
Because he only comes once a year!
ID: 2216
Gross
There were 2 guys who were best friends, Bob and Carl, that went walking everyday past a very fancy restuarant made up of very clear, expensive glass. Well everytime they went by, they would always make jokes about the rich snobs who dined there (of course because they were jealous because they wanted to be in there eating the expensive food). So one day Bob made a bet with Carl that he could make half of the people throw up. As soon as Carl agreed on the bet, Bob went and put his boogers and some dog poop all over the glass and indeed half of the people did throw up. So Carl lost some money but wanted to get it back. So he made a bet the he could get the other half of the people to throw up. Bob thought there is no way of doing this but he did. Carl went up and licked it all off! And in the end they both broke even.
The End (lol)
ID: 15287
Gross
An American, wearing Bermuda shorts, T-shirt, and a baseball cap, walks into a café, chewing on gum. He sits next to this French guy who is trying to enjoy his
breakfast and is not in the mood for small talk.
The American, aware of the Frenchman's mood, tries to be smart. He sees the man eating a roll with jelly and decides to remark on that.
"You French people eat the entire roll of bread?!" he says in an astonished tone.
"Yes," replies the Frenchman and resumes eating.
"Not us," says the American. "We only eat the inside and then throw the crust in a container, process it and sell it to the French as croissants."
The Frenchman calmly ignores him and continues to eat.
"Eww..." says the American, "You eat your bread with that jelly?"
"Yes," says the Frenchman.
"Not us," says the American, "We only eat fresh fruits. Then we throw the peel in a container, process it and sell it to the French as jelly."
"Really?" says the Frenchman, "And what do you do with your used condoms?"
Taken aback, the American says, "Uhh... we just throw them away."
"Not us," said the Frenchman, "We throw them in a container, process them, and sell it as gum to the Americans."
ID: 583
Gross
Q. If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the
bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come
out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you
are in the bathroom?
A. EUROPEAN... of course!
ID: 10394
Gross
A lady one day decides to place an ad for a good relationship in bed. she said muct not have hands to beat her, must not have feet to walk on her and must be good in bed. one day, the doorbell rang and she answered it. a man with no legs, or hands is there and says " Are u from the ad" she says yeah. she says then " You have no hands so u cant beat me, you have no feet so you wont walk over me, but tell me this... are u good in bed"? he replies "How do u think i rang the doorbell"?
ID: 1057
Gross
2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill. 5 minutes later the man came back with crap all over his hands. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters!"
ID: 11423
Gross
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
Pour petrol on him and set him on fire, and he'll go "WOOF"!
ID: 1297
Gross
What kind of soup do you order at a gay Chinese resturant?
Cream of Yungi (Cream of Young Guy)
ID: 11127
Gross
I went to a money-making seminar. This man had so much bling he sparkled. I could tell he knew how to make money. He was telling the story of how he worked his way up the corporate ladder from a lowly mail boy, to cubicle, to corner office, to the president of his own very successful business. He went on to tell the whole process of sucking up to the bosses and such. Anyway the way he made most of his money was with his own business. It wasn't persay the way he ran it but the idea behind it. He mass producted one product but sold it as two. He made long rubber open ended cylinders and sold them as a box of 12 condoms for $6 and he sold a bag of balloons for $3.
The man was a genius...pure genius...
+10,000 Jokes