ID: 15287
Gross
An American, wearing Bermuda shorts, T-shirt, and a baseball cap, walks into a café, chewing on gum. He sits next to this French guy who is trying to enjoy his
breakfast and is not in the mood for small talk.
The American, aware of the Frenchman's mood, tries to be smart. He sees the man eating a roll with jelly and decides to remark on that.
"You French people eat the entire roll of bread?!" he says in an astonished tone.
"Yes," replies the Frenchman and resumes eating.
"Not us," says the American. "We only eat the inside and then throw the crust in a container, process it and sell it to the French as croissants."
The Frenchman calmly ignores him and continues to eat.
"Eww..." says the American, "You eat your bread with that jelly?"
"Yes," says the Frenchman.
"Not us," says the American, "We only eat fresh fruits. Then we throw the peel in a container, process it and sell it to the French as jelly."
"Really?" says the Frenchman, "And what do you do with your used condoms?"
Taken aback, the American says, "Uhh... we just throw them away."
"Not us," said the Frenchman, "We throw them in a container, process them, and sell it as gum to the Americans."
ID: 2216
Gross
There were 2 guys who were best friends, Bob and Carl, that went walking everyday past a very fancy restuarant made up of very clear, expensive glass. Well everytime they went by, they would always make jokes about the rich snobs who dined there (of course because they were jealous because they wanted to be in there eating the expensive food). So one day Bob made a bet with Carl that he could make half of the people throw up. As soon as Carl agreed on the bet, Bob went and put his boogers and some dog poop all over the glass and indeed half of the people did throw up. So Carl lost some money but wanted to get it back. So he made a bet the he could get the other half of the people to throw up. Bob thought there is no way of doing this but he did. Carl went up and licked it all off! And in the end they both broke even.
The End (lol)
ID: 3817
Gross
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed
to see such fun
then died of electric shock.
ID: 4254
Gross
Very stinky I can be.
And a wet hole is all you see.
Give me a rod and I'm happy.
In the silence I can queef.
No one thinks they're eating beef.
And please oh please don't use teeth.
ID: 7251
Gross
Q: What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!
ID: 1234
Gross
Three men are outside a pub when one said, "I dare you to go in and ask for a free glass of milk!"
One of the other men went in the pub and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs of my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
The other man walked in and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs off my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
When the two men went back outside they told the third one that they could only get a free glass of milk if they picked the scabs off the barmaid's daughter's fanny.
The third man said, "I wouldn't mind doing that."
The third man went in and said I will pick the scabs off your daughter's fanny if you give me a free glass of milk."
"Ok," agreed the barmaid.
He went upstairs and picked the scabs of her daughter's fanny and put them in a crisp packet and sealed it up for freshness, then chucked it out the window.
He went outside to meet the others and told them that he got a free glass of milk.
The others said, "So...we got a free packet of crisps that flew from the sky!"
ID: 8346
Gross
One day, a little boy came up to a man at the park.
The boy asked the man, "Why do you have a big nose?"
The man answered, "Because...I have big fingers."
ID: 5744
Gross
Which comes first, Ben-Gay or Preparation H?
Ben-Gay.
After you have been gay, you'll need the Preparation H.
ID: 619
Gross
Why can't Dolly Parton be a teacher?
Because every time she turns around she erases the black board.
+10,000 Jokes