ID: 8938
Gross
What's the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
One is a cunning runt and the other is a running cunt.
ID: 7609
Gross
I once knew a boy who was dating his left hand and having an affair with his right.
ID: 17347
Gross
A woman is walking down the street with a pack of menstrual pads in her hand, after buying them from the store. A homeless guy comes by and kindly asks for money. The woman says she has no change. So, the guy being a smartass says, "Can I have some of that bread in your hand?" The woman being a bigger smartass says, "Meet me tomorrow and I will give it to you with some ketchup on it!"
ID: 9420
Gross
Q> Why did Pepsi hire Michael Jackson to do commercials again?
A> Because they wanted someone to suck that little boy back out of the bottle.
ID: 8040
Gross
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
"Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
ID: 182
Gross
What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
ID: 618
Gross
This American is on a business trip to Mexico and has the first day off. He decides he wants to ride a donkey, a traditional Mexican thing.
He asks this local man if he can rent a donkey for the day. The man says, "Gringo we call them asses here in Mexico. If you want him to stop though you need to scratch him." The American agrees and pays the Mexican man his money and rides away.
The man then decides that he wants something to eat so he rides to a hot dog stand. He asks the man if he can get a hot dog with mustard and relish. The man then replies "Sir, we call them weeners here." The American agrees and hands the man his money.
He then sees that his donkey is slowly walking away. So he asks another man standing by him who is also American if he would "hold his weener so he can scratch his ass"
ID: 2030
Gross
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
ID: 13243
Gross
The little cowboy, Shorty, was leaving the bar to get on his horse for the ride back to the ranch, when he noted that someone had painted his horse's balls blue.
Totally pissed, he went back into the bar and shouted, "Who's the dirty son of a bitch that painted my horse's balls blue?!"
A big burly guy stood up and said, "I did. Got a problem with that?"
"None," says Shorty, "just wanted to let you know he was dry and ready for the 2nd coat."
+10,000 Jokes