ID: 13221
College
Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.
Clouds are high-flying fogs.
Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.
South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
A monsoon is a French gentleman.
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
ID: 17154
College
A few weeks ago, my Health teacher set up a competition, saying the winning group would win an extra credit point. We were separated into five groups; water, electricity, food, paper, and gas.
Each group had to come up with at least twenty ways to preserve their element. The group that came up with the most solutions would win the extra credit point.
Near the end of the of the class, the teacher had reported that there were two winning teams; electricity, and gas. They had tied equally with very good responses.
The teacher then said that both of those teams would need to come up with a final way to preserve their element, and whoever had the best one, would be determined the winner.
"I'll pick the best one tomorrow," she said. "I'll need both teams to speak with me. Alright, who has gas?"
Several students shot their hands up in the air before they realized exactly what she had said. One was laughing so hard that tears rolled down her face.
-Member of the electricity group
ID: 17850
College
A rich Texan told the president of the University of Texas, "I want to set you up with a billion-dollar endowment fund, with but one condition."
"What's the condition?" asked the U.T president.
"I want you to give my horse an honorary degree. She's served me faithfully for fifteen years and she deserves a B.T. degree, a Bachelor of Transportation."
The president said, "I've got to consult my trustees. I'll get back to you."
The trustees debated an hour until one senior trustee, who had appeared to be napping during the whole discussion, said softly, "I think we should take his money and give the horse the degree."
Another trustee piped up, "But wouldn't you be embarrassed to give an honorary degree to a horse?"
"Nope," said the old man. "In fact, it would be the first time I can remember that we gave an honorary degree to a whole horse!"
ID: 17357
College
1 Good Grades
2 Social life
3 Adequate Sleep.
Pick Two
Welcome to College...
ID: 15336
College
"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."
"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.
"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."
ID: 13511
College
Once, a barber found two MIT students wanting to buy his barber pole. They offered a good price for it, so the barber sold it to them. So - these two guys drove around all day in a pickup truck carrying the barber pole. They kept getting stopped by the police, who were sure they had stolen the pole. But each time, the students referred back to the barber they had bought the pole from. So finally, an APB went out all over Boston, saying that if police saw two students driving around with a barber pole, they should leave them alone.
The next day, every single barber pole in Boston was missing.
ID: 15435
College
1. All of you, stand in a straight circle.
2. I have two daughters, and both are girls!
3. Both the three of you get out of the class.
4. I saw you with my wife.....in the theatre.
5. Open the windows let the Airforce come in.
6. Boys go to the right, girls to the left. The rest follow me.
7. How dare you look at the monkey outside the window when I'm sitting here!
ID: 17435
College
If 1/(x-8) approaches â as x approaches 8 from above, then will 1/(x-3) approach Ï as x approaches 3 from above?
ID: 17875
College
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her U.S. Government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
+10,000 Jokes