ID: 4395
College
Teacher to student: "I just read the composition on 'My House' that you had submitted."
Student: "Yes, is there anything wrong?"
Teacher: "No. It was excellent. It was exactly the same composition that your older brother submitted last year."
Student: "Well...we live in the same house..."
ID: 17928
College
A lecturing teacher noticed a lack of enthusiasm in her class. Few were paying attention so she decided to make an announcement, "The person to answer this next question gets to go home."
The students were all brought to attention and a buzz went over the room. Suddenly, a male student grabbed his bag nd threw it out the window. The entire class went quiet. The teacher said, "Who did that?!" with a sense of anger behind her voice.
"Me," the male student replied. "Now I can go home for answering your question." So he walked out of the classroom.
ID: 1176
College
It was the first day of college, and time for the usual 'authoritative declaration of the not to be broken rules'. The principal, in typical intimidating fashion, addressed the students:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students. The male dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all the female students". The principal, sensing he was on a roll, stood tall and powerful as he covered the punishments for breaking the rules. "Be wary, anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20. It doesn't stop there though, anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"
ID: 5464
College
Exam Question: Define courage.
Student Answer: This is.
ID: 2716
College
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he arrived at classroom, he saw ten rods with platforms with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds' legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.
The student looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the angrier he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?!" With that, the student threw his test on the professor's desk and walked to the door.
The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name so, as the student reached the door the professor called, "Hey mister, what's your name?"
The enraged student turned around, pulled up his pant legs and said, "You tell me, buddy. YOU TELL ME!"
ID: 5928
College
Banta Singh got tired of being the butt of jokes, and decided to do his PhD. Banta was looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis when he saw a cockroach. Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cuts one of its leg. Then he said "Walk". The cockroach moves forward. Then Banta cut its second leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to moves forward. Then Banta cut its third leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg. Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and said "Walk". The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table. He repeats the same with over 1000 cockroaches. He finds that the results in all his experiments match. Banta is jubilant.
"Now," says Banta "My thesis is ready!" and proceeds to write it:
"When you cut four legs of a cockroach, it becomes deaf."
ID: 9094
College
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
ID: 9272
College
Mr. Smith: "So, Mr. Jones, how's your son John?"
Mr. Jones: "He's at Harvard right now."
Mr. Smith: "Oh, really?! Well, congratulations! What's he studying?"
Mr. Jones: "Oh, he's not studying anything. They're studying him."
ID: 37
College
An Engineering Major says "How does it work?"
A Science Major says "Why does it work?"
An Accounting Major says "How much will it cost?"
A Liberal Arts Major says "Do you want fries with that?"
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