ID: 15273
Children
When a women found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes," he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it Quits."
ID: 16038
Children
Mother: Did you eat all the cookies. Tom?
Tom: I didn't touch one.
Mother: That's strange. There's only one left.
Tom: That's the one I didn't touch.
ID: 15130
Children
During a dinner party, the hosts' two small children entered the dining room naked and proceeded to parade slowly around the table.
Embarrassed, the parents pretended nothing was happening and continued to converse with their guests. The guests co-operated and also carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
After they finished walking all around the room, the children left.
As the children disappeared from sight, there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "See, I told you, it IS vanishing cream!"
ID: 15218
Children
Read All About It!
A newsboy was standing at the corner with a stack of newspapers, yelling, "Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Read all about it!"
Curious about it, a man walked over and bought a newspaper. After checking the front page and finding nothing, he said to the boy, "What are you talking about? I don't see anything in here about fifty people being swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and continued, yelling out, "Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!"
ID: 15186
Children
The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me."
"Good, Andy. Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. "Three," replied Andy.
"Very good. What comes after five, Andy?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered Andy.
"Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked.
"A jack!" replied Andy.
ID: 14945
Children
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other."
"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears."
"You see, sir? I'm no good at math, either."
ID: 15185
Children
When the second grader arrived home from school, she excitedly ran up to her mom and said, "Guess what we learned today, mommy? How to make babies."
Her mother was more than surprised, but did her best to remain calm. She knew that this day would come, but she had hoped it wouldn't have been so soon. "How interesting dear," her mother said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's really simple," replied the little girl. "All you have to do is change the 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
ID: 14273
Children
The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world.
Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh
Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments, but I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena
Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville
Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina
Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron
Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston
ID: 15188
Children
One day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?"
"Seven," replied Johnny.
"No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?" asked the teacher.
"Seven!" insisted Johnny.
"Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples, two apples and another two apples, how many would you have?" the teacher asked.
"Six," Johnny answered.
"Good, Johnny, that's right," said the teacher. "Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?"
"Seven!" Johnny said.
"Johnny, how on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits would be seven?" asked the baffled teacher.
"Easy. I already have one rabbit at home now!" Johnny replied.
+10,000 Jokes