CHILDREN

ID: 387

Children

A Child's Prayer

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping in his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

ID: 11008

Children

Best thing

Q :whats the best thing about children?
A :making them!!

ID: 13616

Children

Toys

Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, "This is Action Man! He's been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq - and the vacuum cleaner twice!"

ID: 9949

Children

The Moon

Here are some cute things kids thought up when asked to write about the moon (all the spelling mistakes are original!)

The moon is a saterlight.

A long time ago a big object hit the Moon and some of the moon fell off.

If u look through a telliscope you can see big holes.

There are big montines on the moon just like on Earth - they are some of the left-overs of the Moon in big lumps

Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the Moon. He had weights in his boots so he wouldn't fall off.

ID: 15061

Children

Flight to Egypt

The children in the Sunday school class were asked by their teacher to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. When she looked at little Ricky's picture, she was puzzled to see that he had drawn four people in an airplane, so she asked him which story it represented.

Little Ricky replied, "That's the Flight to Egypt."

"Oh, I see," said the teacher. "That must be Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, but who's the fourth person?"

"That's Pontius ... the Pilot!" answered Ricky.

ID: 10571

Children

Twenty-First Century Addendum

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.

Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail. Amen."

ID: 11135

Children

History

Mom: How did you do on your history test?
Kid: Not good.
Mom: Why?
Kid: They asked me things that happened before I was born!

ID: 11399

Children

Biology

Jr: This year I failed every class except biology.
Mary: How did you do that?
Jr: Easy, I didn't take biology

ID: 13495

Children

Dinner

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"

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