ID: 11008
Children
Q :whats the best thing about children?
A :making them!!
ID: 1426
Children
A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room.
"Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said his grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!"
ID: 5241
Children
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in the tundra.
Pupil:A reindeer.
Teacher: Good, now name another one.
Pupil: Another reindeer.
ID: 561
Children
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad
replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said,
"Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."
ID: 7107
Children
A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom,
"Why are some of your hairs gray?"
The mom replies cleverly, "Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray." The girl thinks for a minute, and then asks,
"Is that why all Grandma's hairs are gray?"
ID: 2388
Children
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother said to her, "No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Brenda, we just have five of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "there, there, Brenda, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, "Brenda, just control yourself, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Brenda," he began.
The mother replied, "I'm Brenda - my little girl's name is Ashley."
ID: 6021
Children
Once the head teacher of a primary school walked into a classroom and started firing questions at the students.
Head Teacher: "Who made the world?"
The students shivered with fright but no one answered.
Head Teacher: "Children,I asked, WHO MADE THE WORLD?"
The teacher's voice was getting louder and the kids were freaking out.
The head teacher banged his fist on the front desk and yelled: "I SAID, WHO MADE THE WORLD?"
One of the students on the front seat yelled out in fright,
"OH PLEASE SIR, IT WASN'T ME!"
ID: 5774
Children
A middle school student was working at a shop for his after-school job. He had on a Dairy Queen shirt. A kindergarten student walked up to him and said, "Wow, I have 3 of those shirts! You must be cheap!"
ID: 4363
Children
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Norfolk to Las Vegas. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said that she had. Smiling, she then said, "Tell your Mother that Southwest always pulls out on time."
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