CHILDREN

ID: 1720

Children

Hiking

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.
"How'd you get that, son?"

"By hiking."

"Hiking?"

"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

ID: 15189

Children

Warren Peace

The social studies teacher had just completed a lesson on war and peace.

"How many of you," the teacher asked, "would say you're opposed to war?"

Not surprisingly, every student in the class raised their hand.

"Who would like to give us their reason for being opposed to war?" asked the teacher. Little Johnny, sitting at the back of the class, immediately raised his hand.

"Johnny, what is your reason?" the teacher asked.

"I hate wars," explained Johnny, "because wars make history, and I hate History!"

ID: 11798

Children

The Mystery of Childbirth

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.

"Oh, the stork brought us too."

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

ID: 11072

Children

A Letter Problem

Once,there was a teacher and a girl named Wendy.The teacher asked for Wendy to say a sentence starting with the word I. So wendy started to say I is....Then the teacher said, "No Wendy, it is I am." So Wendy said, "I am the ninth letter if the alphabet."

ID: 10579

Children

Wedding

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly, until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward, why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

ID: 11977

Children

Allowance Money

Little Johnny's mother took him to a supermarket to buy some food.

"Anything you break comes out of your allowance money!" shouted Johnny's mother.

Johnny turned around and said "But you don't give me any allowance money!"

"Yes, and now you know why."

ID: 11135

Children

History

Mom: How did you do on your history test?
Kid: Not good.
Mom: Why?
Kid: They asked me things that happened before I was born!

ID: 11684

Children

Smoking

Mom: "Why have you been sent home early, Jack?"

Jack: "Because the boy next to me was smoking."

Mom: "But if he was smoking, why were you sent home?"

Jack: "Because I set him on fire!"

ID: 9949

Children

The Moon

Here are some cute things kids thought up when asked to write about the moon (all the spelling mistakes are original!)

The moon is a saterlight.

A long time ago a big object hit the Moon and some of the moon fell off.

If u look through a telliscope you can see big holes.

There are big montines on the moon just like on Earth - they are some of the left-overs of the Moon in big lumps

Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the Moon. He had weights in his boots so he wouldn't fall off.

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