ID: 335
Children
I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I click the square?" I said yes.
She then asked me, "Single click or double click?"
ID: 1196
Children
Two children were in a doctor's waiting room.
The little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.
The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."
ID: 11135
Children
Mom: How did you do on your history test?
Kid: Not good.
Mom: Why?
Kid: They asked me things that happened before I was born!
ID: 1259
Children
The following are messages written by children to God,
Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane
Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan
Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane
Dear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother!
-Darla
Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce
Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.
Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. -Bruce
Dear GOD, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. -Danny
Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry
Dear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. -Sam
Dear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your goodest inventions.
-Ruth M.
Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan
Dear GOD, If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. -Mickey D.
Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love, Chris
Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna
-Unknown email sent me it
ID: 1374
Children
One spring afternoon, I came home to find two little girls on the steps of my building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears.
Thinking they might be hurt, I dropped my briefcase and quickly went over to them. "Are you all right?" I asked.
Still sobbing, one held up her doll. "My baby's arm came off," she said.
I took the doll and its disjointed arm. After a little effort and luck, the doll was again whole.
"Thank you." came a whisper.
Next, looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, I asked, "And what's the matter with you, young lady?"
She wiped her cheeks. "I was helping her cry," she said.
ID: 845
Children
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
ID: 1419
Children
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said "Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I'll be across the field." A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking "What's wrong? I told you to be quiet."
The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said "Should we eat them here or take them with us?" I panicked...
ID: 1097
Children
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
ID: 900
Children
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the family room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.
The girl looked at her dad and said, "It was Mom."
"How do you know?"
"She didn't say anything."
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