ID: 5731
Children
BOB- We were learning about fractions today in math class.
JOE- Oh, really? What did you learn?
BOB- One half of what I was supposed to!
ID: 15097
Children
Seven-year-old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous.
When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house.
"Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."
ID: 10999
Children
The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten.
"Johnny," the teacher asked, "where is the decimal point now?"
"On the eraser!" came back the quick reply.
ID: 10479
Children
A little boy was in a bookstore with his dad. They were browsing for books when the little kid said,"You know American Idol?"
His dad said, "Yeah."
The kid then said, "If they win, they'll become poptarts!"
ID: 10600
Children
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
ID: 11107
Children
Amy: Yesterday I saw a man in the mall with very long arms. Every time he went up the stairs he would step on them.
Bob: Wow... He stepped on his arms?
Amy: No. On the STAIRS!
ID: 10636
Children
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother, after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night, and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked,"Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
ID: 11008
Children
Q :whats the best thing about children?
A :making them!!
ID: 11808
Children
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn't decide who he should grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, "Would you like to live with your mother?"
"No," said the boy.
"Why not?" said the judge.
"Because she beats me."
The judge says, "Okay, then you'll go live with your father."
"Oh, no," cried the boy, "he beats me too."
Dumbfounded, the judge asks "Okay, who do you want to live with?"
"I want to live with the New York Yankees."
"Why?" asks the judge.
"They don't beat anybody."
+10,000 Jokes