ID: 8912
Children
Teacher: John, why is your cat at school today?
John: (crying)..I heard the milkman tell mom.."When the kid goes to school i'm gonna eat your pussy!"
ID: 8916
Children
1. During recess time,
I like skipping rope.
When I skip I shout a rhyme,
And jump with all my hope.
2. I didn't study for the test even though I should've.
I was playing PS2 and I would've,
so I copied off of yours,
I got them all wrong,
so now I sing this song. (sing over and over this is an endless song.)
3. Some gum chum?
It's watermelon,
although I chewed it some,
and it is jerybellum. (jerybellum - bubble gum co.)
ID: 1441
Children
An American supply teacher came to a Canadian class one day. She told the students that she was an American and she asked if anyone else in the room was an American.
Even though not many people in the room were, everyone put up their hand not to be left out, except one girl.
The teacher stared at the girl and asked "If you're not an American, then what are you?" The girl replied, "I'm a proud Canadian."
The teacher asked "Why are you a Canadian?" The girl answered, "Because my parents are both Canadians."
The teacher asked "What if both of your parents are stupid, then what will you be?" The girl answered, "Then I would be an American!"
ID: 2553
Children
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
ID: 2796
Children
There were three boys with names Shutup, Manners and Trouble. They were walking around town when they realized Trouble was missing. Shutup and Manners searched and searched but failed to find the missing boy. At a lost, they went up to the Neighbourhood Police Post. Manners had to go to the toilet so Shutup went up and spoke to the policeman there.
Policeman=P Shutup=S
P: Hi little boy, what's your name?
S: Shutup
P: What a rude boy! Where are your manners?
S: At the toilet
P: What are you talking about? Are you looking for trouble here?
S: Yes
ID: 1606
Children
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I would like you to close your eyes and taste these."
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your daddy and mommy probably call each other all of the time."
Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted,
"Spit 'em out, guys; they're assholes!"
ID: 11042
Children
My 4 year old brother just had a birthday. At his birthday party he invited all his friends and a clown for the entertainment. The clown didn't have too many options for entertaining 4 year olds, so he figured a nice game of Simon Says would be fun.
"Simon says, 'Point to your nose.'"
The children all do it and he continues.
"Simon says, 'Point to your head.'"
Again they all do.
"Sit down."
All those who sat down are out.
"Simon says, 'Point to your lip.'"
Trying to end this silly game and go on with his pathetic life,
"Point to your eye."
"OWWWWW!!!" Yep. They lost.
ID: 18114
Children
A boy and his mom were playing the new game of life were you could put your house were you wanted it. The boy put it on the left side. On his next turn he moved it onto the right side. The mom asked why he did that and he said, "I wanted to live on the other side of life."
ID: 6075
Children
Little Mikey's parents were going out, and Mikey said, "For 20 bucks, Dad, I'll be good."
"Oh please," said his father. "When I was your age, I was good for nothing."
+10,000 Jokes