ID: 8182
Children
Q.) What do you ask a kid wearing a muscle shirt
but has no muscles?
A.) Did you leave your muscles in your other muscle shirt?
ID: 13298
Children
One day, Johnny saw his dad got caught on fire. Immeaditly he went to his mom saying, "Mom, mom hurry, dad's on fire, and I brought the marshmellows!"
Another day a lady came to the door asking for things for the old peoples fund. Johnny yelled from the doorway to his mom, "Hey mom, there's this person asking for the old peoples fund, shall I give them grandma?"
ID: 16909
Children
Now, my brother ALWAYS daydreams. He just can't help it. He also likes getting me to feel bad.
I just got a new IPod and my brother says whenever I put it in my ears that i have turned into a zombie. When we were out for a bike ride down through the park he wouldn't stay left (We live in the southern hemisphere) and so other people on the track had to move to the right to get past. I screamed out to him to go left when i had my IPod in and he said "What." I said "Left, L-E-F-T. Gosh you can't hear anything when you daydream." And his response was "No you can't hear anything with your IPod in, I know what you said, you said FELT." I wonder who is the one that can't hear?
ID: 15304
Children
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.
Reagan, 10
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.
Sara, 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.
Jared, 8
All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.
Antonio, 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
Katelynn, 9
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
Vicki, 8
What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
Sarah, 7
ID: 15192
Children
The teacher told her students they would start their day with the Pledge of Allegiance, instructing them to place their right hand over their heart and repeat after her.
As she began to recite the Pledge, she looked around the room and noticed that Little Johnny hand his hand over the right cheek of his behind.
"Little Johnny," she said, "we will not continue until you place your hand over your heart."
"It is over my heart," Little Johnny replied innocently.
She attempted to get Little Johnny to place his hand over his heart several times, all to no avail. Finally, frustrated, she asked, "What makes you think that's your heart?"
"Well, whenever Grandma comes to visit," Johnny explained, "she picks me up, gives me a couple of pats right here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and I know Grandma wouldn't lie."
ID: 15130
Children
During a dinner party, the hosts' two small children entered the dining room naked and proceeded to parade slowly around the table.
Embarrassed, the parents pretended nothing was happening and continued to converse with their guests. The guests co-operated and also carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
After they finished walking all around the room, the children left.
As the children disappeared from sight, there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "See, I told you, it IS vanishing cream!"
ID: 14444
Children
Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me, too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
ID: 15245
Children
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
ID: 15099
Children
This really happened (honest!)
A bunch of very young girls arrived at our door at Halloween. My Mum, being friendly, asked them whereabouts they lived, because she hadn't seen them before. They replied, "We live quite near here, where do you live?"
+10,000 Jokes