ID: 5171
Children
A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question.
TEACHER:" If you had 50 cents in one pocket, and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have?"
STUDENT:"50 cents."
TEACHER: "You obviously don't know how to add."
STUDENT: "You obviously don't know my dad!"
ID: 13924
Children
Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. – Denise
Dear God,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. – Dean
Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. – Elliot
Dear God,
Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. – Rob
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? – Marsha
ID: 3617
Children
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
ID: 4780
Children
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted,
"My Mummy looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
ID: 4475
Children
A dad to his son: If someone calls for me, tell him that I'm out.
The son: And if he doesn't call?
ID: 7439
Children
Johnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference.
MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal.
JOHNNY: Really? I didn't know it was opposite day!
ID: 2483
Children
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
ID: 3820
Children
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
ID: 5283
Children
Child: Mommy, why am I so skinny?
Mommy: Don't worry about it, dear. When your father was born, he only weighed four pounds.
Child: Really? Did he live?
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