ID: 8559
Children
One day a little boy came over to his friends house and said, "Ah shit! I got gunk on my shoe!" As he was saying it, the friend's dad came over to the little boy and said, "How dare you say that in front of my child!" The dad sent the little boy home and called his father, telling him to come over to his house and talk to him.
The father came over and said, "So what if my boy said that? it's not like your kids haven't overheard you say a curse word!"
"Actually they haven't!" claimed the disgruntled father.
As they argue, the disgruntled father's baby in the backround blurts out, "Fuck you!"
ID: 5662
Children
The number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
ID: 14443
Children
A mother was teaching her three-year-old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end.
"And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
ID: 13821
Children
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"
"No, I don't," said the little boy.
"OK, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work."
Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"
ID: 12711
Children
A detective was questioning a burglary suspect. "Where were you between five and six?" he asked.
"In kindergarten!" he replied
ID: 11485
Children
Grey hair is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
ID: 12627
Children
"Have you ever had a tick before?" asked Mel.
"No, I've only ever had crosses," replied Sally.
ID: 12008
Children
Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week.
They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion.
The officer hauled them off to security for questioning.
The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage.
The first boy innocently said, "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."
The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."
The third boy was a little shaken up and said, "Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts."
ID: 11071
Children
There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, "It was to write an essay on the belly of a frog." Laura said, "Wow!!How did you get the frog in to the typewriter?"
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