ID: 1143
Children
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake
ID: 13056
Children
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment, he claimed: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
ID: 6008
Children
A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and she was mad.
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said "ok", and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some friggin ice cream."
ID: 2127
Children
There was a City cop on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little boy said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the boy a $20.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said "Nice horse you got there, Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little boy looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the d*ck goes underneath the horse not on top."
ID: 9011
Children
There once was a small jokester called Joey, who was visting at his Grandpa's. Now Grandpa was rather short of temper, so after Joey had been standing in the doorway for 5 minutes, trying to decide whether or not to go outside, he said, ''Hurry up, now will you?''
Joey turned around and frowned. ''Keep your hair on,'' he grumbled. Seeing Grandpa's bald head, he giggled, ''Opps! To late!''
ID: 2655
Children
A mother was driving her kids to school one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
ID: 3714
Children
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don't even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don't bark.
ID: 4173
Children
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago but they're still getting in!
ID: 3820
Children
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
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