ID: 1911
Children
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did.
Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did.
Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.''
The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''
ID: 11689
Children
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
'So, how did you do, son?' he asked.
'You'll never believe it!' Billy said. 'I was responsible for the winning run!'
'Really? How'd you do that?'
'I dropped the ball.'
ID: 1722
Children
Little Johnny walked into class one day and sat down. He realized that someone new was teaching the class today, It was Coach Bob, the gym teacher.
Coach Bob started the class by saying, "Okay you little one's are never too young to learn about s-e-x, uh ummm."
While every other kid in the class is giggling. Little Johnny looks really intent.
Coach Bob then asks, " Well, what do any of you kids already know about sex."
Little Shirley raised her hand, "One time my puppy had a baby."
"Good " said Coach Bob
Then Little Chuckie raised his hand and said, "Well my mom gave me a little sister."
"Good, good." said Coach Bob
The Little Johnny raised his hand and Coach Bob's heart skipped a beat. He said "Yes Little Johnny."
"Well," said Little Johnny, "one time at my grandpa's house I was watching an old western starring the Lone Ranger, and he fought off one hundred Indians."
"Oh Yeah," said Coach Bob really relieved, "what does that have to do with sex ed."
"That'll teach those Indians to screw with the Lone Ranger."
ID: 8123
Children
A boy was going to church on Sunday. His mom gave him $40 so that he could put $20 in the offering plate and use $20 to buy anything on the way. On his way to the church he lost the $40, so he went back to look for it. He found $20, then looked up and said, "God, here is mine. Go and look for yours!"
ID: 4161
Children
A teacher came into a class and told the students, "Class we have a new student..........go on tell us your name".
The boy replied "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
The teacher said, "What!!!!".
The boy repeated "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
The teacher said, "Go to the principal's office".
When he got there, the principal said, "Whats your name son?"
"I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-ur-ass-from-tree-to-tree," the boy answered.
The principal said "What!!!!".
The boy repeated "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
"Go home and stay there for 5 days," the principal said.
While he was going home, a policeman stopped him and said, "Shouldn't you be at school?".
"They told me to go home" the boy replied.
"Just tell me your name," the police man said.
"I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree" the boy said.
The police man pulled a gun and shot the boy. The boy went to hell and met the devil.
The devil said, "Whats your name son?"
"I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree," the boy answered.
The devil said "Oh, well i'm-the-devil-from-down-below-i'll-burn-your-ass-from-head-to-toe."
ID: 4474
Children
One to his friend:
"My little brother started walking last week!"
The other friend:
"Where did he go? He should be kilometers away!"
ID: 374
Children
A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
"Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!"
"Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."
ID: 4536
Children
A little girl learned in school, that instead of words, pictures and symbols would be drawn to indicate something if words weren't understood.
Later that day, she needed to go into the bathroom, looked at two pictures, and went in one. A teacher asked her, "Why did you go into the boys' bathroom?" She answered, "The picture showed a person wearing pants, and I'm wearing pants. The other picture showed someone wearing a dress, and I'm not."
ID: 6075
Children
Little Mikey's parents were going out, and Mikey said, "For 20 bucks, Dad, I'll be good."
"Oh please," said his father. "When I was your age, I was good for nothing."
+10,000 Jokes