ID: 3212
Children
Little Johnny kept spelling the word "went" wrong, instead he spelt "whent". His teacher, who was very fusterated, decided to keep him after class to spell "went" 100 times.
The next day she comes into the classroom, thinking he learned his lesson, and sees the whole board is full of the word "went".
But at the end...
"I wrote "went" 50 times, then I ran out of space, so I whent home"
ID: 4173
Children
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago but they're still getting in!
ID: 1594
Children
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
- Michael, 14
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14
4. Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9
5. Never pee on an electric fence.
- Robert, 13
6. Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Noronha, 13
7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
- Emily, 10
8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11
9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
- Traci, 14
10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9
11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9
12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
- Lauren, 9
13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10
14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
- Alyesha, 13
15. Never try to baptize a cat.
- Eileen, 8
ID: 9619
Children
The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write."
ID: 6716
Children
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the heck did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
ID: 10600
Children
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
ID: 1720
Children
A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.
"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."
ID: 4216
Children
One day, a teacher at an elementary school asks one of her students how clouds form.
She replied "I'm not sure how clouds form, but the clouds know how to form, and that's the important thing...."
ID: 10599
Children
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree, that had been pressed between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"
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