ID: 15166
Children
Two young cowboys - aged six and four - walked into the pretend bar for a drink.
The older cowboy thumped his fist on the pretend bar and said to the pretend bartender, "Bartender, gimme a rye whiskey!"
The younger cowboy was not to be outdone. "Yeah, and make mine a whole wheat!"
ID: 15293
Children
"There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it." - Chinese Proverb.
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
ID: 16293
Children
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??
Moral: beware of toddlers bearing tea!
ID: 15099
Children
This really happened (honest!)
A bunch of very young girls arrived at our door at Halloween. My Mum, being friendly, asked them whereabouts they lived, because she hadn't seen them before. They replied, "We live quite near here, where do you live?"
ID: 15296
Children
Little four-year-old Jenny was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep.
After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Jenny looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"
ID: 15218
Children
Read All About It!
A newsboy was standing at the corner with a stack of newspapers, yelling, "Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Read all about it!"
Curious about it, a man walked over and bought a newspaper. After checking the front page and finding nothing, he said to the boy, "What are you talking about? I don't see anything in here about fifty people being swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and continued, yelling out, "Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!"
ID: 15292
Children
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
ID: 15097
Children
Seven-year-old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous.
When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house.
"Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."
ID: 14442
Children
A group of young children was sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make?"
"It goes moo."
"Alice, what noise does a cat make?"
"It goes meow."
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
"It goes baaa."
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
"Errr..it goes.. click!"
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