ID: 12863
Children
A lady lost her handbag during a day of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty singles."
The boy replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have change for a reward."
ID: 16938
Children
Jacky walked into his house from school crying; his mom saw him and said, "What's wrong, Jacky?"
Jacky replied, "I lost a quarter at school!"
"There, there," replied his mother, "here's another," handing him a quarter.
Jacky cries even louder; this time his mother, upset, says, "What's the matter now?"
Jacky says, "I wish I said I lost a dollar!"
ID: 15292
Children
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
ID: 14236
Children
What happens when a lion roars?
Tom n Jerry starts!
ID: 15301
Children
A precocious 4-year-old was brought to the ER with a severe cough, a nurse writes. She kept up a non-stop conversation while I was trying to assess her lung sounds. Finally, I said, "Shhh, I have to see if Barney is in there."
The child looked at me and said, "I have Jesus in my heart. Barney is on my underwear."
ID: 14243
Children
Little Johnny's Joke
Little Johnny was sitting on his backyard swing set with some of his sixth grade schoolmates one Saturday when they started to tell some jokes to each other.
Little Susie started off by saying, "Knock, knock?"
Everyone answered, "Who's there?"
Susie says, "Boo!"
Everyone replied, "Boo who?"
To which Susie said, "Why are you all crying?" and everyone broke out laughing.
At this point, Little Johnny got up and started into his joke, "Hey, did you all hear about the prostitute who got fingered by Captain Hook?"
Immediately, Little Johnny's mother, who was nearby watering the roses and had heard Little Johnny start off, came rushing over and shouted, "Alright Little Johnny! That's enough! In fact, all of you kids can go home now. Leave, please."
The following Saturday, Little Johnny again invited his friends over, this time to play some video games. During a lull in the action, Little Johnny said to everyone, "You know, there's a rumour going around that a bus load of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska. And they say..."
This time again, Little Johnny's mother was in the kitchen and came stomping in after having heard him. She said demandingly as she gathered his friends together and shuffled them towards the door, "Okay kids, it's getting late. All of you will have to leave now."
Little Johnny was puzzled and yelled back at them, "Hey! Hold on, hold on! There's still plenty of time 'cause the bus doesn't leave till morning!"
ID: 15245
Children
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
ID: 2660
Children
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
ID: 14635
Children
Girl: "Have you ever been caught been wearing your mother's bra?
Boy: "No!"
Girl: "So you have worn them but not been caught?"
+10,000 Jokes