ID: 13819
Children
Harassment:
The teacher asked Paco to use "harassment" in a sentence.
Paco smiles and says......... "Orale vato (homeboy)...Mi ruca (my girl) caught me in
bed with my sancha (lover), pero ( but) that's okay porque (because) I told her
that... HAR ASS MENT nothing to me."
ID: 15050
Children
A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class.
NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.
Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.
Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.
Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby - Apple Sauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put them in a jar that says, "Apple Sauce". Then you eat it.
Jordan - Cranberry Pie
Put cranberry juice in it. Then you put berries in it. Then you put dough in it. Then you bake it. Then you eat it.
ID: 16426
Children
In the school the biology teacher asks the class a question. "Where is an elephant's sex organ?"
Little Johnny, "In his feet ma'am."
Teacher, "How come?"
"If he steps on you, you're fucked."
ID: 14635
Children
Girl: "Have you ever been caught been wearing your mother's bra?
Boy: "No!"
Girl: "So you have worn them but not been caught?"
ID: 14509
Children
One day, Bob's class was assigned to write down everything they heard at home.
When Bob got home, he heard his mom and dad fighting.
"Shut up" he heard his dad say.
Bob wrote that down.
Next he went to his sister's room. She was chatting on-line. It just so happened that she said everything she typed. "Duh!" Bob heard her saying.
Bob wrote that down.
After that, he went to the living room were he heard his little brother saying, "Super Man!"
Bob wrote that down.
Last, he went near the bathroom were his grandpa was singing, "Every day, the whole day, in the bathroom."
Bob wrote that down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day at school, The teacher asked Bob, "What did you write, Bob?"
Bob answered, "Shut up!"
"Excuse me, but do you want to go to the Principal's office?"
"Duh!" was Bob's reply.
At the principal's office he asked Bob, "What's your name?"
Bob answered, "Super Man!"
"Uh huh, and where do you live, Mr. Super Man?" asked the principal.
This was his reply:
"Every day, the whole day, in the bathroom!"
From that day on, Bob was home-schooled.
P.S. I know it's a lame title, but what can I say, I'm not brilliant when it comes to titles.
ID: 15634
Children
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning.
He got to thinking about things, and asked, "Mommy, why does Daddy have so little hair on his head?"
"He thinks a lot, dear," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a such good answer to her husband's baldness.
"Then why do you have so much hair?" asked Little Johnny.
ID: 16851
Children
A boy was assigned a job to do a list of spelling words for his class. The boy asked the teacher what spelling words to do. She replies "Ask your family for help if you can't think of anything." So the boy went home to ask his family for any help.
"Mom, can you give me a spelling word for my list?" the boy asked. The mother was so busy on the phone, that she told her son to shut up. The boy thought "Shut Up!" was the word that his mother gave him. So he wrote it down, and walked along to his sister's room. His sister was on the computer, reading about a diary out loud. The boy asked the same thing to his sister, except this time, she replies with "Whatever.." So the boy wrote it down, and moved along to his brother's room. The brother was watching Batman. When he came in, before even asking the question, the brother started to sing the batman theme song. "DUN-DUN..DUN-DUN!!!BATMAN!!" So the boy thought his brother was a physic and wrote it down. Last, but not least, his father was the last one. His father was in the bathroom, washing the toilet. He started to sing his favorite song during cleaning time. "In the toi--lot.. INNNNNN the TOI--LOT!!! The boy wrote that down without a doubt. Then, as he finished packing his bag for school tomorrow, he re-read the paper. Then he snickered, put the paper in his bag, and went to sleep.
The next day, the boy quickly came into the class with the other kids. The teacher asked the boy if he could read the first word, the boy did as he was told, and said "Shut Up!!" The teacher was very displeased and told the boy a warning. The boy continued to read his words even if he wasn't told. He said "Whatever.." in a tone that wasn't very nice. So the teacher did as her words told her, she sent him to the principal's office. The principal asked what was the boy's name. With that, he continued to say his list of words. "DUN-DUN..DUN-DUN!!!BATMAN!!" Then principal was a bit of surprised, but still guessing the boy thinks this is a game, so he went along. "Ok batman, why don't you tell me where your hideout is.. The boy said "In the toi--lot.. INNNNNN the TOI--LOT!!!"
ID: 16909
Children
Now, my brother ALWAYS daydreams. He just can't help it. He also likes getting me to feel bad.
I just got a new IPod and my brother says whenever I put it in my ears that i have turned into a zombie. When we were out for a bike ride down through the park he wouldn't stay left (We live in the southern hemisphere) and so other people on the track had to move to the right to get past. I screamed out to him to go left when i had my IPod in and he said "What." I said "Left, L-E-F-T. Gosh you can't hear anything when you daydream." And his response was "No you can't hear anything with your IPod in, I know what you said, you said FELT." I wonder who is the one that can't hear?
ID: 17857
Children
A twelve-year-old boy received a journal as a birthday gift. He looked at it carefully, but was mystified.
"Mom, what's the deal with this book? All the pages are blank," he asked.
"That's called a journal," she explained. "You write down interesting stuff that happens to you."
His face brightened as he caught her drift. "So it's kinda like a blog, only on paper?"
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