ID: 4216
Children
One day, a teacher at an elementary school asks one of her students how clouds form.
She replied "I'm not sure how clouds form, but the clouds know how to form, and that's the important thing...."
ID: 15609
Children
It was the first day of school and I had gotten a serious scrape on my knee so I asked my friend Jesse to write down notes for me while I went to the nurse. Now, it was the first day of school and there were no notes written on our notebooks and neither of us had written our names on them, so when I came back the next and asked him to give me back my notebooks, he couldn't tell which was mine and which was his, so we both decided that we'd take either one. Near the end of the school year Jesse got in trouble for stealing my notebook. After he got in trouble (with 3 days detention) I asked him why he stole my notebook. He showed me a small note on the back of what we had thought was his notebook that had been written on the back as a joke saying, "Don't tell anyone, but this is my notebook," with a picture of me taped next to it. The date on the picture, August 8.
ID: 13924
Children
Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. – Denise
Dear God,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. – Dean
Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. – Elliot
Dear God,
Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. – Rob
Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? – Marsha
ID: 13406
Children
A three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left was on the right and the right was on the left. She said, "Paul, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her and said, "No they're not, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
ID: 13401
Children
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a moment, then gasped - "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
A 7-year old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity. The picture was very good, including Mary, Joseph, and of course baby Jesus.
However, there was a fat man standing in the corner of the stable that just did not seem to fit in. When the child was asked about it, she replied, "Oh, that's Round John Virgin."
ID: 12143
Children
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name..."
ID: 13298
Children
One day, Johnny saw his dad got caught on fire. Immeaditly he went to his mom saying, "Mom, mom hurry, dad's on fire, and I brought the marshmellows!"
Another day a lady came to the door asking for things for the old peoples fund. Johnny yelled from the doorway to his mom, "Hey mom, there's this person asking for the old peoples fund, shall I give them grandma?"
ID: 12712
Children
A young boy called to his mother from the yard, "Mom, would you rather me fall out of a tree and break my arm or just tear a hole in my Sunday slacks?" "Well," she replied, "I guess I'd pray that you just ripped your pants." The kid yells back, "Your prayers have been answered!"
ID: 12982
Children
One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it.
"Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese."
"That's okay," she said. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate."
+10,000 Jokes