ID: 12326
Children
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.
As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.
The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."
The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.
Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.
As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.
The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.
The priest hands the lady $1 and says...
"Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"
ID: 12664
Children
Steve is playing with his 3 friends at his tree in the back garden, and his mum comes out and shouts,
"If all four of you fall out of that tree and break both legs, then don't come running to me!"
ID: 15737
Children
Gregory was a boy who was always beaten up by a bully who everyone called: "The Demon". Everyday, "The Demon" would punch Gregory in the stomach without any warning. And Gregory always got a stomachache.
Now, Gregory wasn't very smart. He often confused things with other things and ended up in trouble. But Gregory didn't know. And Gregory had 7-9 fears and takes them seriously. He has a fear of telling a teacher on someone, so that's a reason why he's letting The Demon punch him.
The doctor told him that if he continued to be punched, that he would get a stomach bruise - which wasn't good at all.
So, Gregory and his father were having a father-to-son conversation about this problem.
"Son, why are you letting 'The Demon' punch you everyday?"
"I dunno dad."
"Well, you can't just let him punch you in the stomach."
"Really, dad?"
"Yes, really."
The next day, Gregory came home with stomach, and rib pains.
ID: 11135
Children
Mom: How did you do on your history test?
Kid: Not good.
Mom: Why?
Kid: They asked me things that happened before I was born!
ID: 11159
Children
Max: Here I am, once again! I'm torn into pieces...can't deny it, can't pretend! Just thought you were the one! Broken up, deep inside. But you don't get to see these tears I cry....BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES!
Bailey: So, wha'd you do with the money?
Max: What money???
Bailey: The money your mom gave you for voice lessons!
ID: 12915
Children
The Fandersan family is a family with two parents and two kids.
One day, Mr. Fandersan decided to bring home a state of the art moterhome. When he got home with the motorhome, he left it in the driveway. He then went to bed.
But, the next day it was missing. On the driveway there was a note. It said,
"We have stolen the motorhome."
The parents were freaked out!!
"This is a parent's worst nightmare!! Our kids have stolen the car AND are home alone!!!"
ID: 13045
Children
What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, apparently. I have to go back tomorrow!
ID: 9924
Children
Johnny: "Dad, stop drinking my root beer!!! Do I get free refills?"
Dad: "Sure -- I backwashed!"
ID: 12863
Children
A lady lost her handbag during a day of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty singles."
The boy replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have change for a reward."
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