ID: 15097
Children
Seven-year-old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous.
When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house.
"Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."
ID: 11764
Children
The class homework was to write about something unusual that had happened in the previous month.
Little Johnny stood up to read his: "Daddy fell in the well last week," he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Johnson, the teacher. "Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said Timmy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
ID: 11072
Children
Once,there was a teacher and a girl named Wendy.The teacher asked for Wendy to say a sentence starting with the word I. So wendy started to say I is....Then the teacher said, "No Wendy, it is I am." So Wendy said, "I am the ninth letter if the alphabet."
ID: 12143
Children
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name..."
ID: 14154
Children
One day, Little Johnny and his family went for a walk they saw two dogs having sex, girl on top of boy. Johnny didn't know much about sex, so his parents didn't say anything.
Later that night, Johnny's parents were having sex and Johnny walked in on them. Before his parent's could say anything, Johnny yelled out, "Mom get on top of dad. Hurry, because I want a puppy!!"
ID: 13980
Children
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished
studying.
If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
Picking your nose when no one else is looking is still picking your nose.
Just keep banging until someone opens the door.
Making your bed is a waste of time.
There is no good reason why clothes have to match.
Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.
You work so hard pedalling up the hill that you hate to brake on the way down.
You can't ask to start over just because you're losing the game.
ID: 12627
Children
"Have you ever had a tick before?" asked Mel.
"No, I've only ever had crosses," replied Sally.
ID: 12195
Children
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
ID: 12571
Children
Little Johnny's mum was sitting in front of computer while Johnny was making sandwiches. She said to Johhny, "You're the best sandwich maker ever," and Johnny says "No mum, you're just lazy."
hahahahahahahahahahaha
+10,000 Jokes