ID: 5904
Children
A mother and a her daughter go to a restaurant for breakfast to celebrate her birthday. The restaurant is known for its imported cheeses.
The mother asks, "Would you like some cheese, my angel?" The little girl says,"Sure, but can you take out the holes in the cheese?"
ID: 7879
Children
What is the difference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trousers and Superman wears it over the
trousers.
ID: 959
Children
One time, when I was a kid, I forgot to do my homework, so I stole someone else's and turned it in. After class, the teacher pulled me over. She asked why I didn't turn in the homework. I said, guess I forgot to change the name on it!
ID: 328
Children
Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate. She gave him the words 'defeat', 'deduct', 'defence' and 'detail'. Jack stood seriously for a while with all eyes focused on him awaiting his reply.
"Defeat of Deduct went over defence before detail!"
ID: 1023
Children
Timmy had been having a hard time in math class and got an 'F' on almost all of his report cards. His mom thought he'd be better off if he went to a private Catholic school. The very first day of school Timmy came home, went straight to his room and began working until he finally just fell asleep on his bed. This continued for a long time until he got his first report card from the new school and his mom was so proud when he got an 'A' in Math. She said, "I knew you'd do better in a private school."
Then she says how did you do so well?" and Timmy replies, "When I walked in and saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business."
ID: 4174
Children
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
ID: 11628
Children
A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."
"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
ID: 12143
Children
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name..."
ID: 5267
Children
Teacher: Jimmy! Count from one all the way to ten!
Jimmy: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.
Teacher: Good, now what comes after that?
Jimmy:Jack, queen and king!
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