ID: 1207
Children
Boy: Will you punish me for something I
didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good cause I didn't do my homework!
ID: 1183
Children
One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ''Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!''
''No. You had your chance.''
A minute later the boy screamed ''Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?''
''No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come up there and spank you.''
''Dad! When you come up to spank me can you bring me a glass of water?''
ID: 7913
Children
How did Hellen Keller's mother punish her???
rearranging her furniture.
ID: 13495
Children
The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
ID: 14965
Children
This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and...
"Where does mommy live?"
"Minneapolis."
"Where does grandma live?"
"Baltimore."
"Where does grandpa live?"
"Baltimore."
"And where does daddy live?"
"At work!"
Needless to say, he took the next day off!
ID: 14134
Children
A little boy walked into a petshop and went up to a clerk. The boy asked if she had dachshunds in the store. The clerk said yes, and she went and got the dog out of the cage and handed it to him.
He got all excited when he held it and immediately went to the checkout and gave the clerk a check for $100, that he said was his birthday money. He was so excited and anxious that the clerk asked why he wanted that dog so much, and not a big dog like most boys got when they came in.
He replied, "I've always wanted to be a cowboy and now I can, because the song says 'Get along little dogie!'"
ID: 12711
Children
A detective was questioning a burglary suspect. "Where were you between five and six?" he asked.
"In kindergarten!" he replied
ID: 13406
Children
A three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left was on the right and the right was on the left. She said, "Paul, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her and said, "No they're not, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
ID: 10911
Children
Little Billy is at home and his mom is in the shower. Billy walks in on her and sees her breasts and says "Mommy what are those?" His mom replies, "Well, Billy, those are my headlights." "Oh" says Billy. Then he looks down between her legs and sees hair there. "Mommy, what is that?" he asks. His mom thinks a bit, then says, "Billy, that is my lawn".
"Oh, i see," says Billy, and he goes back downstairs.
Later in the day, Billy's dad is in the shower and Billy walks in on him, and sees his penis. "Daddy, what is that long thing?" asks Billy. His dad, having already spoken to his mom, is well prepared and responds, "Well, Billy, that is my snake." Billy says, "Oh, ok dad" and then goes down stairs.
Later that night, when Billy is in bed, he hears noises coming from his parents bedroom, and goes to see what is going on. Upon walking into the room, Billy yells out, "MOMMY MOMMY, QUICK TURN YOUR HEADLIGHTS ON! DADDY'S SNAKE IS IN YOUR GRASS!"
This is why when you make love and have children in the house make sure to lock the door!.
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