ID: 13034
Children
Teacher: Billy why are you late?
Billy: Because the sign said "Children Slow"
ID: 3820
Children
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
ID: 5283
Children
Child: Mommy, why am I so skinny?
Mommy: Don't worry about it, dear. When your father was born, he only weighed four pounds.
Child: Really? Did he live?
ID: 5774
Children
A middle school student was working at a shop for his after-school job. He had on a Dairy Queen shirt. A kindergarten student walked up to him and said, "Wow, I have 3 of those shirts! You must be cheap!"
ID: 5239
Children
Teacher: Alvin, how many letters are in the alphabet?
Alvin: 18.
Teacher: Wrong, there are 26.
Alvin: No, teacher, there used to be 26, but ET went home in a UFO and the CIA went after him.
ID: 5662
Children
The number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
ID: 4565
Children
Librarian: "Please be quiet. The people next to you can't read."
Boy: "What a shame! I've been reading since I was six."
ID: 4163
Children
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year!
ID: 8004
Children
Little Johnny asks his teacher: "How are the babies made?"
Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents.
When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, "Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!"
The mother, in her turn, says: "Oh! It is a difficult question, why don't you better speak to granddad!"
Grandfather is sitting on a bench in the garden and eating an apple just when Johnny comes up with the same question. And so he tries to explain: "You see, the apple has little seeds; when they are planted, an apple-tree will grow after a while; and then it will bring new apples. So people also..."
But Johnny has heard enough. He takes a few apples, carefully cuts them to collect the seeds, and puts the seeds into his pants pocket.
The next day at school, Johnny is eager to show off what he's learned, so he approaches his teacher and says, "Now I can explain. But first let me start by showing you what I've got in my pants..."
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