ID: 18109
Children
What happens to you if you can not read?
Well, since you'll probably be staying in Kindergarten, less homework!
ID: 1462
Children
Once there was a mom and a dad , they had a daughter called Angelica. So the dad was very thirsty because he had been driving a lot, so he asked his daughter "sweetheart can I have some of your juice?" She answers "daddy no drinking and driving, that's what the law says!!!"
ID: 3669
Children
Little Leroy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." At that moment, his mother came in and heard that he was cursing. "Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?"
Little Leroy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?"
He replied, "Yes."
The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Leroy's school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his Math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math." The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems." Little Leroy's mother asked, "Are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
When the teacher stopped laughing she replied, "Not at all! What I taught them was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS four."
ID: 16263
Children
A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."
"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what you mean."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
ID: 16688
Children
Natalie had three very active young sons and they were quite a handful. One summer evening she was playing cowboys and Indians with them in her front garden when one of the boys "shot" her and shouted "Bang! You're dead, Mum," so Natalie fell down.
Her next door neighbour had been watching all this and when Natalie didn't get up straight away, he ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall.
When the neighbour bent over her, Natalie opened one eye and said to him, "Shhh. Please don't give me away, it's the only chance I've had to have a rest all day".
ID: 1602
Children
Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."
ID: 2115
Children
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
ID: 15755
Children
A little girl was sat in science, when she wet herself.
She goes to her teacher and says "I've wet myself". The teacher asks "Why didn't you put your hand up?"
She replies "I did, but it just ran down my hand!"
ID: 16428
Children
Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?"
"I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really fuck, I've got nothing left to live for!"
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