ID: 3696
Children
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing going on in our garden".
ID: 12195
Children
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
ID: 8202
Children
Q.)Why do kids pick their nose?
A.)BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO DARN LAZY TO GET A TISSUE
AND THEIR FAVORITE SHOW IS ON. EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE SEEN IT 1 HUNDRED TIMES, CAN'T MISS A SECOND TO GET A TISSUE, WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR FINGER FOR FAST AND EASY ANSWER FOR THEIR BOGERY NOSE!
Q.) How do you make them stop?
A.) Glue a tissue box full of tissues to their head.
ID: 1462
Children
Once there was a mom and a dad , they had a daughter called Angelica. So the dad was very thirsty because he had been driving a lot, so he asked his daughter "sweetheart can I have some of your juice?" She answers "daddy no drinking and driving, that's what the law says!!!"
ID: 6104
Children
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."
The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
ID: 1720
Children
A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.
"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."
ID: 4565
Children
Librarian: "Please be quiet. The people next to you can't read."
Boy: "What a shame! I've been reading since I was six."
ID: 1143
Children
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake
ID: 12143
Children
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name..."
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