CHILDREN

ID: 14273

Children

Dear Pastor I

The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world.

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments, but I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston

ID: 14441

Children

The Best Present

Little Tommy was telling his friend Billy all about his Christmas presents.

"My daddy bought me a mouth organ. It's the best present I've ever had."

"Why?"

"Because my mummy gives me extra money every week if I don't play it."

ID: 14769

Children

Strawberry Fertilizer

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

ID: 16271

Children

The New Shoes

Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we would spar around for a few minutes before supper.

One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he replied, "Yes." The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "Do you want a box?"

Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.

After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several minutes explaining why this happened. Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4-year-old.

ID: 17358

Children

Dad, Have You . . .?

Dad, have you got a ladder?

Yes; why?

I have to write an essay on an elephant!

ID: 15724

Children

Diameter Maths

A boy was working on circumferences for homework when his mother came in and said, "Do you want some pie?" The boy replied, "Sure."

So the mother was saying "3.141592..." over and over and then said, "Want some ratio?"

ID: 15634

Children

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning.

He got to thinking about things, and asked, "Mommy, why does Daddy have so little hair on his head?"

"He thinks a lot, dear," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a such good answer to her husband's baldness.

"Then why do you have so much hair?" asked Little Johnny.

ID: 15061

Children

Flight to Egypt

The children in the Sunday school class were asked by their teacher to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. When she looked at little Ricky's picture, she was puzzled to see that he had drawn four people in an airplane, so she asked him which story it represented.

Little Ricky replied, "That's the Flight to Egypt."

"Oh, I see," said the teacher. "That must be Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, but who's the fourth person?"

"That's Pontius ... the Pilot!" answered Ricky.

ID: 16171

Children

Kids, Eh?

Five year old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by.

She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy.

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"

"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"

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