ID: 17164
Children
Henry: Oh my enemies makes me so mad I want to kill them!
Phil: I can help you with that.
Henry: How?
Phil: First, go to the internet cafe. When you are already using the computer make a folder and name it "Your Enemies". After that, delete the folder. Go to the recycle bin and delete the folder again. It should say "Do you really want to delete "Your Enemies"?". Click yes. Now you don't have your enemies any more. They're deleted out of this world. There's no way you can get them back unless you create them.
Henry: Oh! Now I can get rid of them; but what if I decide to create them again? How can I create them again?
Phil: There's no way you can create them again, Henry. To create them, of course they need to be born. You said that all females are your enemies.
ID: 11685
Children
Teacher: "Simon! What does it mean if the barometer falls?"
Simon: "Err.. The nail's come out of the wall, miss?"
ID: 12901
Children
Josh was never the most gifted child, but for this he couldn't really be blamed. His mother, Maria, was no better than him. However, the singular talent that he possessed was an odd one: He could memorize everything he ate. His mother didn't see this as satisfactory, but she decided to put his talent to good use; how you ask? Simply by writing, "Brilliant! Be brilliant!" on his lunch bag!
ID: 12143
Children
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name..."
ID: 12555
Children
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No it isn't, teacher. I'm eight today.
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
ID: 4573
Children
One day little Billy was walking past his mother's room when he heard strange noises. He opened thecracked the door, and looked in. He saw his mother laying naked on the bed rubbing her hands all over her body moaning "I need a man! I need a man!" A couple of days later as he walked past her room he heard the noises again so he looked into her room and saw his mother laying naked on the bed rubbing her hands all over her body moaning "I need a man! I need a man!" A few days later as he walked past her room he heard some more strange noises coming from her room, so he looked in again. This time he saw his mother laying naked on the bed with a naked man laying on top of her. So he ran to his room, took off all his clothes, hopped into bed and started rubbing his hands all over his body moaning "I need a new bike! I need a new bike!"
ID: 11539
Children
Bill had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison:
"Okay, Dad, you get the toy."
ID: 3617
Children
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
ID: 11776
Children
A father and son went fishing one summer day. While they were out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "Dad, how does this boat float?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, how do fish breath underwater?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
"Dad, why is the sky blue?"
"Don't rightly know, son."
Eventually, after the boy asked his father several more questions, "Dad, do you mind me asking all these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you never learn anything."
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