ID: 16292
Blond
BLONDE #1: I found some jokes about us blondes online. They're inaccurate! They make us look-
BLONDE #2:Ugly?
BLONDE #3:Fat?
BLONDE #4:Lazy?
BLONDE #5:Mean?
BLONDE #1:No, stupidly funny.
ID: 609
Blond
A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.)
The driver, blonde of course, explained, "But I didn't go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!"
ID: 3767
Blond
There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
ID: 249
Blond
A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her.
She yells, "THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!"
The librarian stares at her, then calmly replies, "So you're the one who took our phone book."
ID: 144
Blond
What's a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut?
She's trying to hold onto a thought.
ID: 4326
Blond
When my wife and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. My wife went up to the hostess (who was blonde) and asked, "Will it be long?"
The hostess, ignoring her, kept on writing in her book. My wife again asked "How much of a wait?"
The blonde looked up, "About ten minutes."
A short time later, the blonde got on the loudspeaker, and announced "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."
ID: 6619
Blond
A blond, brunette, and redhead are talking. The blond asks the brunette, "Where did you get those hair streaks?" She answers, "Its natural." The brunette asks the redhead the same question. "Its natural." she answers. The redhead and brunette ask the blond, "How did you get that green streak in your hair?" She answers, "Phhnnnggg," (As she blows her nose on her hand and puts it through her hair) "Its natural.''
ID: 3608
Blond
On the first day of their Honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Because it's Lent."
Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! To whom did you lend it, and for how long?"
ID: 6502
Blond
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "but I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
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