ID: 4905
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
ID: 13584
Blond
A blonde bought a new car that has a computer which can fix the car when anything happens.
So she went and blew the engine and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed.
Then she broke the window and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed.
Then she said to herself "It's time for the ultimate test," and she jumped from the bridge and the computer said, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen."
ID: 4411
Blond
Q:What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
A:Nothing, they haven't met yet.
ID: 2261
Blond
A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action.
The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff.
Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!"
The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"
ID: 410
Blond
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?" So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry she said to herself, "Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?" She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, "Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!" She knocked on the table. "Was that the front door or the back door?"
ID: 4518
Blond
What kind of flashlight do blonds use?
The solar powered kind!
ID: 1679
Blond
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Fourth grade.
ID: 1286
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde have bruises around her bellybutton?
A: Because her boyfriend was blond too!
ID: 2168
Blond
What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in spring training.
+10,000 Jokes