ID: 7297
Blond
Why did 3 blonds jump off the building?
To see if their maxi-pads had wings!
ID: 13074
Blond
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."
ID: 6992
Blond
Three men are fishing. One catches a magic fish that will grant each one a wish if they let him go.
The first one wishes he could double his IQ. It is done.
The second one wishes to triple his IQ. It is done.
The last one (who is an idiot) wishes to multiply his IQ by a 1/2. The fish asks if he is sure; the man nods.
When the fish grants his wish, he turns into a blond.
ID: 8428
Blond
Why did the blond have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs!
ID: 8081
Blond
The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods, hunting together when suddenly a beautiful blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude!
"Would I love to eat that?" "Oui, oui!" The Frenchman said, smacking his lips.
So the Italian shot her.
ID: 7786
Blond
A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
ID: 11370
Blond
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
-She tripped over the cordless phone.
-She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
-She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
-At the bottom of the application where is says "Sign here", she wrote Sagittarius.
-If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
-When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.
-She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night.
-She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".
ID: 382
Blond
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde yelled at the doctor, "I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
ID: 3481
Blond
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."
Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters:
"Will it take ME?"
+10,000 Jokes