ID: 146
Blond
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The man says "No."
The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown. She goes back to the store and asks again, only to again be told again, "No."
She goes home dies her hair black, and returns yet again. She asks for the TV, and is told "No, go home you blonde!"
So she finally snaps and cries, "I've died my hair twice!How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"
The salesman replies, "That's a microwave."
ID: 555
Blond
A blonde and a brunette go parachuting. The blonde jumps first, pulls her parachute cord, and slowly drifts in the air and enjoys the view.
The brunette jumps after her and pulls her parachute cord, but nothing happens! She pulls it again, this time as hard as she can, but still nothing. She pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either. She passes by the blonde like a speeding bullet!
The blonde looks at her and says, while getting her parachute off her shoulders, "So, you want to race, do you?"
ID: 790
Blond
Why can't you trust a blonde to call for an ambulance?
She can't find the 11 to call 911.
ID: 410
Blond
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?" So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry she said to herself, "Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?" She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, "Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!" She knocked on the table. "Was that the front door or the back door?"
ID: 405
Blond
A brunette, blonde and a redhead walk into a bar.
The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the back room and if you stand in front of it and say something you think that's true you'll get something nice. But if you lie you'll be sucked in, never to be heard from again.
The brunette says, "I think I am the prettiest person in the bar," and she gets a brand new Corvette.
The redhead says, "I think I am the smartest person in the bar," and she gets 1 million dollars.
The blonde says, "I think---" And she disappeared.
ID: 7461
Blond
A blonde laughs at a joke 3 times.
When the joke is told,
When the joke is explained,
And 5 days later, when she gets it.
ID: 9074
Blond
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.
ID: 7046
Blond
A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, "What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your body that you could think of! I even did your ears!"
She replied, "Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say out loud."
The plastic surgion, curious to know what the blonde wanted done, asked, "What is it? You can trust me.
She answered shyly. "This morning, while I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my butt had a huge crack down the middle and i was wondering if you could get me a new one that isn't broken."
ID: 7734
Blond
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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