ID: 3475
Blond
The phone call...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"
And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
ID: 5022
Blond
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"
ID: 6581
Blond
A blonde was at an airport. She was excited, as this would be her very first time riding in a plane; she was flying to see her relatives, so she was at the airport, when she realized she had to buy a ticket.
So she goes up to the counter where they are selling tickets. She says to the clerk, "Yes, I'd like 1 ticket to New Jersey, please."
The clerk looks at her and says, "One-way, or round trip?"
The blonde replies, "One way."
So she buys her ticket, and hurries off. A little later, though, she comes right back to the same clerk. She says, "Yes, I'd like 1 ticket to New Jersey, one way, please."
The clerk looks at her strangely, but still hands her another ticket.
She hurries off, and yet again comes back to the desk to buy another ticket.
"Yes, I'd li---"
She was interrupted by the clerk, who was obviously fed up by now. She yelled at the blonde, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE AND MORE TICKETS! WHY?"
The blonde replies, "I... don't .. know..!" She breaks out in tears, then continues her sentence, "This stupid guy keeps coming up to me and ripping my ticket in half!"
ID: 1937
Blond
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave!
ID: 16512
Blond
A Blonde walks into an electronic store. A saleswoman goes up to him and introduces a washing machine.
Saleswoman: Sir, this machine in gurantee to do half of all your laundry.
Blonde: That's nice, I'll take two.
ID: 1679
Blond
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Fourth grade.
ID: 2444
Blond
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."
ID: 2627
Blond
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.
ID: 598
Blond
A blonde is speeding down a deserted street when she is pulled over by a police officer.
The officer very politely requests to see the blondes license.
The blonde very indignant replies, "You know what? I'm getting tired of you cops. You just can't make up your mind. Last week you took away my license, and now you want me to show it to you?"
+10,000 Jokes