ID: 7495
Blond
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all get together once a week to talk about the problems they are having with their daughters, and get input from the other two moms. So, the brunette decided to open the meeting.
"I found a pack of cigarettes on my daughter's nightstand the other night. What am I going to do?"
The moms told her to talk to her daughter and tell her it was wrong, and to never do it again.
The redhead said that she had recently found a 12 pack of beer in her daughter's closet. The moms told her to talk to her daughter, tell her it was wrong, and never to do it again.
When it was the blonde mom's turn she said:
"I found a box of condoms on my daughter's dresser the other day."
All the moms are in shock. But the blonde gets up and says, "No no, the worst part is that I didn't even know she had one of those."
ID: 3478
Blond
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.
The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.
The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.
She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
ID: 1663
Blond
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus; the blonde team rides on the top level..
The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles..
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
ID: 1041
Blond
A blonde is like a turtle. If either one is on their back, they are screwed!
ID: 1740
Blond
One day a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were hiking when they came across a cliff.
There was no bridge and they couldn't think of anyother way to get across so they decided to turn around and go back. Just then a magical fairy appeared and said that they could turn into anything they wanted to help them get across the cliff, all they had to do was run, jump, and say the name of it. The brunette ran and jumped and yelled out, "Eagle," and she soared across the cliff. The redhead ran and jumped then yelled, "Hawk," and flew across to the other side. Then it was the blonde's turn she ran and jumped. When she was in mid air, she forgot what she was going to say and yelled "O crap!"....
ID: 426
Blond
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
ID: 1764
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in a red ferari speeding down a country road being chased by a squad car.
They try to lose him by darting into a forest behind a farm.
The trio ditch the car and decide to each hide in three burlap sacs on the ground.
The cop who was really close on their tail went up to each sac.
The cop kicked the first sac and the brunette inside said;
"Woof woof"
"Oh it's just a dog."
Then he kicked the second sac,
Inside that sack the redhead said;
"Meow Meow"
"Oh, it's just a kitten.
Then the cop went up to the third sac with the blonde inside and kicked it
The blonde said
"Potato potato"
ID: 153
Blond
How do you tell a blondes been using your computer?
There's whiteout on the screen
ID: 261
Blond
TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K
I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk
I also changed all the days of each week to:
Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak
We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!
+10,000 Jokes