ID: 152
Blond
A blonde went into a local salon for a haircut. She was wearing a pair of headphones and she refused to take them off. The hairdresser tried to slip them off to cut her hair but the blonde just screamed "NO, DONT DO IT!"
In a few minutes the blonde fell asleep from all the thinking she had to do to pick out a hairstyle. The hairdresser takes off the headphones and in a few minutes the blonde dies.
The hairdresser, shocked, then hears the headphones. It was repeating the words "Inhale... exhale.... inhale..... exhale...."
ID: 12088
Blond
Q: How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 101, one to hold the lightbulb and 100 to spin the house!
ID: 5751
Blond
Q: What did the blonde say when she crossed the road?
A: Hey! How'd I get over here?
ID: 410
Blond
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?" So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry she said to herself, "Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?" She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, "Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!" She knocked on the table. "Was that the front door or the back door?"
ID: 4055
Blond
Why does a blond stand next to a mirror with her hands on her eyes?
She wants to see how she looks like when she is sleeping.
ID: 4410
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: She was afraid she might get hearing aids.
ID: 149
Blond
Why did the first blonde president move out of the oval office?
She couldn't find a corner to put her stuff in.
ID: 1349
Blond
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics.
"So, Miss, can you tell me your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, "Ehhhh ... 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell me your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two."
This isn't looking good, so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name, please?"
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Mandy!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "Just out of curiosity, Miss, I can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Oh that!" replies the Blonde, "That's just me running through, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you'."
ID: 4761
Blond
There were two blondes sitting on the roof of a house. The ladder they had used to get on the roof fell down onto the ground.
Blonde #1: Go get the ladder!
Blonde #2: No way! If I jump down, I'll kill myself.
Blonde #1: I know! I'll shine my flashlight down to the ground and you can climb down the beam of light.
Blonde #2: No way! You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway down!
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