ID: 6938
Blond
It was Arbor Day, and a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all planted something.
The redhead planted flowers in her front yard.
The brunette planted a tree in her back yard.
The blonde didn't know what to plant, so she asked the redhead.
"Plant something that looks good," she said.
The blonde still didn't know what to plant, so she asked the brunette.
"Plant something you want more of," she said.
The blonde finally knew what to plant. The next day,her husband was declared a missing person.
ID: 4411
Blond
Q:What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
A:Nothing, they haven't met yet.
ID: 321
Blond
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. "Hey," he says to the blonde, "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde shakes her head and goes back to her reading.
Five minutes later, the lawyer asks her again. She shakes her head again. When the lawyer asks her for a third time, she is exasperated and finally asks him what the game is just to get this lawyer off her back.
"It's simple. I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you give me five bucks. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five bucks." Seeing the blonde looks skeptical, he smiles, thinking she doesn't look very smart so he'll still make money if he changes things around a little bit. "Fine, how about this - if I get the question you ask me wrong, I pay you a HUNDRED bucks instead." Finally the blonde shrugs and looks at the man.
"How many miles are there from the earth to the sun?" asks the lawyer. The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. The lawyer smiles. "Your turn," he says in a friendly tone of voice. The blonde paused, then said, "What has 7 legs in the daytime and 2 legs at night?
The lawyer was stumped by this. He took out his laptop and emailed all his colleagues, to no avail. Finally he shakes his head and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. He sits in silence for a moment, then says, "So what's the answer?"
The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands the lawyer a five dollar bill.
ID: 5113
Blond
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know. They can't get the dead one out.
ID: 6641
Blond
Q: What's the difference between a blond and a toothbrush?
A: You don't lend a toothbrush to your best friend.
ID: 197
Blond
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work together in an office building. Their female boss always leaves work early. So one day the brunette says, "Lets skip out early today. No one will notice."
So they all leave work early. The brunette goes to a movie, and the redhead goes to a few bars. The blonde though wanted to go home and have sex with her husband.
She arrives home and goes into her bedroom where her husband and her boss are having sex. The blonde quietly slips out the door and runs from her house.
The next day when the brunette suggested they skip work again the blonde replied, "No way! I almost got caught yesterday."
ID: 41
Blond
How can you tell if a blonde woman has been dating?
By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.
ID: 40
Blond
A brunette was walking down the middle of the street, saying "34...34...34" over and over again. A blonde stopped her and asked why she was doing that.
"Oh, it's great fun," replied the brunette. "You should try it".
So the blonde walked down the street repeating "34...34...34..." when all of a sudden a car sped by and ran her over.
The brunette then started walking down the road again, saying "35...35...35..."
ID: 146
Blond
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The man says "No."
The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown. She goes back to the store and asks again, only to again be told again, "No."
She goes home dies her hair black, and returns yet again. She asks for the TV, and is told "No, go home you blonde!"
So she finally snaps and cries, "I've died my hair twice!How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"
The salesman replies, "That's a microwave."
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