ID: 3717
Blond
A blond named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin
Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."
Carol (also a blond) answers the phone: "Hello?"
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."
Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Carol: "Oh geez, Pam. That's simple. It's a cuckoo."
Pam: "Are you sure?" Carol: "I'm sure."
Regis: "Pam, you heard Carol. Do you keep the $500,000 or play for the million?"
Pam: "I want to play; I'll go with C) cuckoo."
Regis:" Is that your final answer?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Pam: "Yes; I think Carol's pretty smart."
Regis: "You said C) cuckoo... And you're right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"
To celebrate, Pam flies Carol to New York. That night they go out on the town. As they're sipping champagne, Pam looks at Carol and asks her," Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
Pam, "it was easy," replies her (blond) friend. "Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."
ID: 4603
Blond
A blonde filled her car with gas at a self-service gas station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized that she had left the gas cap on top of her car.
She stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.
Well, she thought for a second and realized that other people must do the same thing from time to time, so maybe it was worth going back to look by the side of the road. She figured that even if she couldn't find her own gas cap, she might be able to find one someone else lost that would fit her car.
She didn't have to search long when, sure enough, she found a gas cap. She tried it, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," she thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks."
ID: 584
Blond
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
ID: 10401
Blond
Blond College Exam
HINT: this is an exam
1.Spell yes
2.spell no
3. what is 0-0 ANSWER:0
4. answer yes to this question
5. are you human
6. what did you answer #4 HINT: #=number
7. what number is this
8. is this an exam a):yes b);yes
9. spell your name
10. leave this one blank
11. write an aswser
12. check your email
13. repeat
14.eat.
15. turn in paper
REQUIREMENTS:Do #15 all others might be wrong
IF YOU MET THE REQUIREMENTS, YOU NOW HAVE A SCHOLARSHIP TO HARVORD FOR (4) BLONDS
ANSWERS
1. yes
2. no
3. 0
4. yes
5. yes
6. yes
7. 7
8. circle
9. sexy
10.
11. 9
12 he likes me
13. he doesn't
14. eggs
15.
15.
15.HEY BLONDY GO DIE
NOTE: noone has ever passed test
ID: 12830
Blond
Q: How do you get a blonde with one arm out of a tree?
A: Wave to her
ID: 10701
Blond
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." "Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"
ID: 404
Blond
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on.
The woman reporter shouted out "This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!". Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!".
So, both of the women stared at the news waiting to know what's gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', I knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff."
And the blonde says "Well, I did too! But I never would have thought that the man would do it again!"
ID: 4769
Blond
What do you call frozen blonds?
Frosted Flakes!
ID: 10914
Blond
A blond had a crazy idea one day to skip school, so she decided to try her luck. The day went by fine and she had a good day at the mall. A few days later, she gets a note saying she has to go to the office to talk about the day she was gone. She was very paranoid and afraid of what might happen. When she got to the office the counselor asked her to sit down, and said, "You never picked up your pictures that we gave out on the day you were absent." The blond replies, "Oh, is that all you called me down for? I thought you had found out I skipped school that day!"
+10,000 Jokes