ID: 14505
Blond
We all know that Hilary Duff dyed her hair blonde, but the turning point when she actually BECAME a blonde was in a song she wrote.
It was the following:
"When the light is off then it isn't on."
From the song "So Yesterday."
ID: 15388
Blond
A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year.
"Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs."
"FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?"
Mark agreed to ask.
A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order.
"Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you have frog legs?"
"But of course!" replied the waiter, proud of the quality of his restaurant.
Mark turned a shade of white. It was true!
"Are you okay, sir?"
"I'm... fine," Mark said, recovering well, "Hop on over and bring me a sandwich!"
ID: 17997
Blond
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said"Airport Left" she turned around and went home
ID: 16410
Blond
A blond finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did he do in his exam; he replied, "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK!"
ID: 16934
Blond
It was a blond's birthday, and to celebrate, he took his girlfriend out on a date; he dressed very nicely, in a tuxedo, sharp tie, and some nice soft pants.
He went to his girlfriend, and said, "Do you have anything to say to me?"
His girlfriend also a blonde, says, "Yeah, what up with the tie?"
ID: 17071
Blond
One night a bartender who was working at a local joint was very drunk.
His fiancee left him a long time ago and he was very desperate
so he started using alcohol as a substitute. A little later that night a blond walked in late at night and sat down. The blond was cute young and very flirty. So a little later she started flirting with the bartender. He started to get the drift that she was flirting and started flirting very heavily with her back.
A little later she felt something and before she could stand to go to the restroom she had her period right there she quickly sat back and felt mortified praying the bartender did not notice anything. He didn't so she started ordering lots of bloody marys from the bartender that took his place while he was on his break. When he came back he looked at her and all the spilt bloody marys and said my god you must love that drink. By the way what's your name you never told me? Oh my name's mary, oh really he then noticed something wet in her dress. So your favorite drink is a bloody mary he said. Yeah she said. He then realized she had her period because he noticed something wet in her pants. Ya, but I don't like bloody marys that much. He then noticed another cute blond sipping a drink. But i sure like Shirley temples.
ID: 16292
Blond
BLONDE #1: I found some jokes about us blondes online. They're inaccurate! They make us look-
BLONDE #2:Ugly?
BLONDE #3:Fat?
BLONDE #4:Lazy?
BLONDE #5:Mean?
BLONDE #1:No, stupidly funny.
ID: 12459
Blond
A scientist is researching storms, so he goes out to find one. He takes his blonde assistant to help him find one. They drive for miles until they come to some plains.
They stop the car and the scientist tells the blonde to look out for tornados. After a few minutes, a cow flies past due to strong winds and the blonde says,
"Look! A flying cow!"
The scientist writes this down on his notepad but as he does, the car gets swept away by a tornado.
The car lands in a ditch after the tornado had gone. The scientist got out and shouted at the blonde,
"I thought you were looking out for tornados!"
"I was, but after I saw the cow, I was looking for the dish running away with the spoon."
ID: 16579
Blond
A man walks into Starbucks.
Man: I want a cup of coffee.
Blond Waitress: Sure that will be $1.00
The man pays for the coffee, the blond then goes and measures a cup of coffee and brings it to the man, she dumps it all onto his table.
Man: I wanted a cup of coffee, not this!!
Blond: You wanted a "cup" of coffee, if you wanted a cup you could of asked for one.
+10,000 Jokes