ID: 1642
Blond
Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.
ID: 6741
Blond
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
ID: 1699
Blond
One day, a blonde and a brunette were talking on the phone. Then the brunette says, " I have to go get a new mouse for the computer. My mouse isn't running good." Since the blonde hates mice. she goes over to her computer and opens it up, looking for a running mouse. She runs back to the phone and says, " But my computer works fine without a mouse"; but since she took so long looking for the mouse, her friend hung up and the phone battery was dying out so it sounded like a squeeky assuming and it was the mouse she searched her whole house finding not one mouse. Then she calls her brunette on the phone saying I can't find one mouse in my house what does it look like? After she finished describing it the blonde finds it, then she squishes it saying, " There, it is dead! "
ID: 4839
Blond
A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant.
"Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"
"May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"
"Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!"
ID: 534
Blond
Q. Why do young blondes carry goldfish in their
pockets?
A. So they can smell like old blondes.
ID: 4603
Blond
A blonde filled her car with gas at a self-service gas station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized that she had left the gas cap on top of her car.
She stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.
Well, she thought for a second and realized that other people must do the same thing from time to time, so maybe it was worth going back to look by the side of the road. She figured that even if she couldn't find her own gas cap, she might be able to find one someone else lost that would fit her car.
She didn't have to search long when, sure enough, she found a gas cap. She tried it, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," she thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks."
ID: 18060
Blond
Sitting next to each other on a plane are a blond woman and a lawyer. To make the plane ride a bit more interesting, the lawyer suggests that he and the blond play a game. "We each take turns asking a question, and if you answer wrong you must give me $5 and if I answer wrong I give you $5."
The blond woman says nothing. "Okay," says the man, "if I answer wrong, I have to give you $50, but if you answer wrong you only have to give me $5."
"Alright," says the blond, "you go first."
The man asks her "what is the distance from Earth to the nearest star?" the woman says nothing and hands $5 to the man.
"What has five legs, is covered in pink and purple spots, and lives on a hill?"
The lawyer, never having heard this riddle, gave the woman $50. "Wait," he said, "what is the answer to that question?"
Without saying a word, the woman hands him $5.
ID: 14596
Blond
One day after a birthday party at the jumper house, a young blond told her mother:
Mommy, Mommy, I'm soooooo generous! When I was about to go into the jumpers, I found so many shoes and took them to the lost and found! Aren't I soooooo generous?
ID: 11863
Blond
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch with him."
"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.
"Why not?" the doctor asked.
"Because," she replied, "he can't throw."
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