ID: 2307
Blond
A blond got a new job cutting down trees. On the first day her boss handed her a chainsaw and said,
"Now you have to go into that forest and cut down as many trees as possible using that chain saw. Please be careful with it and also please remember that the minimum is 6 trees a day."
The blonde went into the forest and cut down trees but at the end of the day she had only managed to cut down 4.
Her boss decided to give another chance but the next day she only managed 3. He decided to give her one last chance but on the third day she only cut two trees.
When she finished work, he called the blond over and took her back into the forest.
"Right,"he said,"You must be doing something wrong here so watch how I do it, then I'll give you one more chance before you're fired.
So he stood in front of the tree and started up the chainsaw. The blond looked around suddenly and said,
"What's that noise?"
ID: 17559
Blond
If you'd like to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours, go to this page:
http://www.wocka.com/joke.php?id=17559
ID: 945
Blond
A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The blonde kept doing this, until the man behind her became impatient. "Excuse me, can I just get a drink, THEN you can continue whatever you're doing???" "No way!" exclaimed the blonde. "I'm not giving up this machine when I'm winning!"
ID: 3177
Blond
Once a blond police officer stopped a man and asked for his driving license.
She saw it and told the man "it says here that you must wear glasses"
The man said "I have contacts"
The blond said "I don't care who you know, you are still getting a traffic ticket"
ID: 431
Blond
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell! She's got a grenade in her mouth!
ID: 2314
Blond
How many blondes does it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
three:
one to unscrew it
one to buy a new lightbulb
one to call her boyfriend to screw it back in.
ID: 1848
Blond
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain that's the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not need curtains...."
And the blonde said:
"Helloooo.... I've got Windows!"
ID: 3216
Blond
There was this woman who had a blonde daughter. One day, she got her ball stuck in the tree.
"Mom, my ball's stuck in the tree. Can I go get it?" she asked.
"No, the perverted boy will look up your skirt and see your underwear. Wait till daddy gets home."
The little girl furiously stomped away.
About an hour later, before her husband came home, the woman saw her daughter playing with her ball.
"How did you get your ball?"
"Well, you said that you didn't want the boy to see my underwear, so I took it off."
ID: 505
Blond
A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, the blonde came out again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
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