ID: 11031
Blond
GOOD JOKE: A blonde.
BETTER JOKE: A blonde playing chess.
BEST JOKE: The blonde wins the game.
ID: 9074
Blond
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.
ID: 426
Blond
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
ID: 423
Blond
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
ID: 1453
Blond
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.
ID: 1103
Blond
Two blondes rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One blonde said to her friend,
"Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same blonde asked her friend, "Did you mark that spot?"
Her friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat."
The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"
ID: 540
Blond
Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
-It doesn't show the dirt
Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
-Fisher-Price.
Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
-The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
-It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
-It matches their mustache.
Why is the color brunette considered evil?
-When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?
How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
-Check her for a pulse.
What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
-A brunette rabbit
What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
-"What part of 'yes' do you not understand?"
Why did God create brunettes?
-So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
-The invitation.
Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
-From their underarms.
What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
-Gay, married, or a hostage.
How did Revlon come up with its brunette hair color?
-By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.
Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
-Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.
How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
-Startled.
ID: 10586
Blond
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you," replies her brunette friend.
So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See, that guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replies the blonde." There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
ID: 1267
Blond
A blonde walks into a hospital in slight discomfort.
"Can I have a hot towel to put on my nose, please?"
The nurse was curious and asked, "Why would you like a hot towel to put on your nose?"
The blonde replies, "Well, I wanted to sniff some coke to see what the big deal was, and I got an ice cube stuck up my nose."
+10,000 Jokes