ID: 16987
Blond
There was a blonde in Wal-mart and she went up to a man.
The blonde said, "Hi! Do you know what IDK means?"
The man said, "I don't know."
Then the blonde said, "DARN! Nobody knows!"
ID: 13940
Blond
Why did the Irish people jump on the bartender?
He said, "The drinks are on me."
ID: 14128
Blond
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
Cowboy: "Well, it's like this, Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her, and I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt, so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants, so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, "Now go to town cowboy...."
ID: 11870
Blond
A blonde was filling out an application form. She quickly filled in the columns for Name; Age; Address et c.
When she came to the column Salary Expected, she put "Yes."
At an air show, the blonde turned to her partner and said, "I wouldn't like to be up there in one of those!"
Her partner replied, "I wouldn't like to be up there without one."
A blond farmer had a donkey had refused to go under a bridge, and when she measured the donkey and the bridge, found that the donkey was 6 inches too tall to go under.
She got a hammer and chisel, and was cutting two grooves for the donkey's ears when a passer-by suggested she dig a groove in the ground for the donkey's feet.
"Don't be so daft," she said, "it's his ears that's too long, not his legs."
ID: 12088
Blond
Q: How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 101, one to hold the lightbulb and 100 to spin the house!
ID: 14461
Blond
This is completely true!
Okay, so it was after dinner and my sister, dad and I were at the table just kinda goofing off then my sister asked me this riddle:
There is one man in a jungle, he reaches into his pocket and takes something out, it has a head and a tail but no body, yet he is not afraid. What was the thing he found in his pocket?
I couldn't figure it out so my dad gave me a hint:
you can flip it.
I still could not figure it out.
What do you flip? asked my dad.
Then I was all like:
A coin. A COIN! A COIN! THAT'S IT, A COIN!!!
What can I say? I'm a blonde, but it doesn't count too much because I have dirty blonde hair and blonde and dirty blonde isn't the same thing.
ID: 13532
Blond
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!
ID: 15137
Blond
There once was a blonde who was writing a book. She didn't know what else to write, so she took a block from her little sisters toy box and went to go and watch TV. Her mom comes in and sees the book on the table with the wooden block on it. She goes ask her daughter what it was and her blonde daughter responded, "It's writers block mommy!"
ID: 13074
Blond
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."
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