ID: 10192
Blond
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
ID: 4109
Blond
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend asked, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."
ID: 4602
Blond
A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also, he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept.
He figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde, when suddenly she
strikes up a conversation with him! Soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol. The blonde leans over to the guy and says,
"Let's have this last drink at my apartment."
Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters
the word, "Okay."
They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door. The blonde stops him and says, "Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."
He says, ..."That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda."
ID: 4873
Blond
Two blondes were going on a hike, and came to a fork in the road. A sign was in the center that said "Bear left." One of the blondes said,"I'm happy that was taken care of, now we finally are able to take the upper trail," so they proceeded left.
ID: 4063
Blond
Have you heard about the blonde that started writing a diary of all her thoughts?
Yes, after 3 years she is on the second page now.
ID: 4800
Blond
Why is it so hard to make a blond snowman???
Because you have to hollow out its head!!!!!
ID: 4583
Blond
Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I'd be staying to see if they had a gym.
The hotel receptionist's sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered.
"We have over 300 guests at at this facility" she said. ÂÂ
"Does this 'Jim' have a last name?"
ID: 3152
Blond
Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, "You think your assistant is dumb, watch this." And the man calls over the blond and says "Go to my house and see if I'm home." So the blond says "Yes sir! Right away sir!" and away she goes.
The second boss says "You call that dumb! Watch this!" So he calls over his blonde assistant and says "Here's a dime, go buy me a car." She replies "Yes sir! No problem!" and away the blond goes.
On their way to go do the tasks given to them, they meet up and start talking.
The first blond says "My boss is so stupid! He told me to go to his house and see if he's home. I mean, why couldn't he just call and see if he's home! OH! The nerve!"
The second blond says "You think that's dumb? My boss gave me a dime to go buy him a car! Honestly! He didn't even tell me what kind or color he wanted!"
ID: 1917
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
+10,000 Jokes