ID: 10867
Blond
One day, a blond and her male co-worker are sitting in the lunch room, and the guy says, "I can't take anymore today, I am going home!" The blond replies, "You can't just get up and leave. You'll be fired!". "Not to worry, I am going to be sent home. I have an idea." the guy says and leaves the room.
The blond finishes her lunch and heads back into work, to see her co-worker hanging upside down from the ceiling, yelling over and over, "I'm a lightbulb!". The owner hears this and comes down. He takes one look at the guy, hanging upside down, yelling he is a lightbulb, and sends him home for the rest of the day, with pay, so he can rest, because he has obviously been working to hard.
The guy gets down off the ceiling, thanks the owner and leaves.
The blond turns around and starts to leave. The owner yells to her, "Hey where the heck do you think you are going?" The blond replies, "I'm going home. You can't expect me to work in the dark!"
ID: 4504
Blond
Mission to Mars
(Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut)
The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle.
"Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions."
The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors.
So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen.
A few moments later, headquarters calls again: "Monkey 2, Monkey 2,
report to communications for instructions."
Monkey 2 sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyze the solar radiation.
Monkey 2 does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.
A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Female Astronaut 1, please report to communications for instructions."
The blonde sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says-
"I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
ID: 12830
Blond
Q: How do you get a blonde with one arm out of a tree?
A: Wave to her
ID: 1382
Blond
Q: What do you call 4 blondes standing side-by-side?
A: A wind tunnel.
ID: 11863
Blond
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch with him."
"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.
"Why not?" the doctor asked.
"Because," she replied, "he can't throw."
ID: 11843
Blond
She Was So Blonde
She told someone to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
ID: 15646
Blond
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Copper is a brown-red color, correct? This is scientific evidence to back up blonde jokes!
ID: 17559
Blond
If you'd like to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours, go to this page:
http://www.wocka.com/joke.php?id=17559
ID: 434
Blond
On her birthday, a blonde was given a fishing rod. She decides to use the gift on the weekend and have a good time, so she goes and buys fishing gear and sets out. She goes to what she thinks is a nice fishing spot and drills a hole, then puts her rod in.
She hears a man say, "There is no fish in there."
So she goes someplace else and drills and puts her rod in.
Then hears a man say in an irritated tone, "There is no fish in there."
So she repeats the process a third time and again hears the man tell her, "There is no fish in there."
Angry, the blonde gets up and faces the man and says, "How do you know there is no fish in there?"
The man replies, "This is an ice hockey rink."
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