ID: 17998
Blond
Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
ID: 6283
Blond
A blonde's son was playing catch with his friend. The blonde was working in the yard, planting flowers and such. Her son was throwing the baseball back and forth with his friend when he suddenly smiled.
He threw the baseball straight at his blonde mom, and yelled, "Think Fast!!!" so the blonde said silently to herself, "Fast, fast, fast, fast..."
The blonde got herself hit right plop in the head.
ID: 4059
Blond
A man is passing a blonde and he says, "Where are those legs going?" and the blonde answers, "They are going home for now unless something comes between them."
ID: 3716
Blond
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."
ID: 5792
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"
ID: 1848
Blond
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain that's the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not need curtains...."
And the blonde said:
"Helloooo.... I've got Windows!"
ID: 1929
Blond
How do you tell that a blonde has been at a computer?
There is lipstick on the joy stick!
ID: 4958
Blond
There were three girls and a genie on a mountain. There was a redhead, a brunette and a blonde. The only one who knew how to get off the mountain was the genie, but she offered the girls a wish to turn into birds and fly off.
"I want to be a blue jay so I can showoff my blue color in the sun." the redhead said to the genie. POOF! The bluejay landed off the mountain safely.
"I want to be a cardinal so I can go visit my friends in St. Louis." the brunette said. POOF! The cardinal landed safely off the mountain, too.
Then the blonde shouted "I want to be cuter than a bluejay and a cardinal! I want to be a penguin!"
ID: 4518
Blond
What kind of flashlight do blonds use?
The solar powered kind!
+10,000 Jokes