ID: 11366
Blond
"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
ID: 11712
Blond
Two blondes went out into the woods on a hunting trip.
They are out there for several hours, and discover that they are lost!
One says, "I heard that if you're lost in the woods, you fire three shots in the air, and wait for someone to come and rescue you."
"Ok," says her pal, "let's do it."
So they did, and waited to be rescued, but no-one came to their aid, so after an hour, they fired three more shots in the air, and waited again.
It's nearly dark by now, and one says to the other, "I hope someone comes soon, we're down to our last three arrows."
ID: 6649
Blond
Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school?
A: They are the only ones who erase their
notebook when the teacher erases the board.
ID: 9427
Blond
A blonde and a brunette are walking along the sidewalk, and the brunette says she is dying of thirst and wants Dr. Pepper. The blonde runs across town into the nearest hospital and asks the receptionist for Dr. Pepper. The receptionist says OK, and hands her a bottle of soda. The blonde says, "What do you think this is? A Joke? My friend is dying and needs to see Dr. Pepper right away!!!"
ID: 9303
Blond
What did the blonde say to the red head?
Nothing. She couldn't remember what she was going to say!
ID: 9959
Blond
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''
ID: 8630
Blond
There's a blonde who goes to a pizza parlor. When she orders, she asks for her pizza to be cut up into 6 slices instead of eight. Why?
A: She's not hungry enough to eat eight.
ID: 8201
Blond
A blond and her friends went to a bank to rob it. The blond's job was to get the code for the vault they wanted to rob. Finally, the blond came back to the vault and began punching in numbers. Each time she typed in a number it beeped a different sound. A friend asked, "Do you know the code?"
The blond said, "No, but listen." She made a whole bunch of beeps then said, "It's the funky town music!"
ID: 10098
Blond
1 What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
2 Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
Because it says on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
3 Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
4 What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
"Nice boobs!"
5 How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
+10,000 Jokes