ID: 18021
Blond
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!"
So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Somehow drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"
The second blonde replies,"They didn't last year...."
ID: 16781
Blond
A blonde couple were going on a vacation to the countryside visiting their relatives. As they soon reach their relatives' home and go in, a blackout started.
On and on the couple tried to find a source of light. Finally one of the blonde asks, "Hey, Mary, can you find anything?"
Mary replies, "Nope, all I could find was this pair of flashlights."
ID: 16856
Blond
A blonde's boyfriend, planning to stop at the bakery says, "I'm going to go pick up a blondie. I want a smoking hot fresh one."
The blonde replies, "Well, then we're over. Go ahead and get a new girlfriend. A nice blondie!"
ID: 16792
Blond
A Blonde explains to another blonde friend:
"I failed the driving test. I entered the circle-way and the sign said "30" so I drove 30 times around."
And the other one says:
"You probably counted wrong."
ID: 15388
Blond
A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year.
"Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs."
"FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?"
Mark agreed to ask.
A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order.
"Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you have frog legs?"
"But of course!" replied the waiter, proud of the quality of his restaurant.
Mark turned a shade of white. It was true!
"Are you okay, sir?"
"I'm... fine," Mark said, recovering well, "Hop on over and bring me a sandwich!"
ID: 15749
Blond
A redhead, brunette and a blonde went to the doctor. As they sat in the waiting room, the redhead got bored and went to the small fishbowl in the middle of the room where a goldfish swam around happily.
The redhead stared at the goldfish and the fish also stared back. After 1 minute, the redhead tilted her head to the left and the fish swam in that direction. She tilted her head to the right and the fish also swam to the right.
The brunette saw this trick, was impressed and asked the redhead how she did it. "Easy", replied the redhead. "It's just mind over matter."
So the brunette stared at the fish and the fish also stared back. After 3 minutes, the brunette tilted her head to the left and the fish swam in that direction. She tilted her head to the right and the fish also swam to the right.
The blonde, seeing this trick, was also impressed and asked the brunette how she did it. "Easy", replied the brunette. "It's just mind over matter."
So, the blonde stared at the fish and the fish also stared back. One minute... Three minutes... Five minutes... After five minutes, the blonde began to open and close her mouth repeatedly.
ID: 15440
Blond
All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.
At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!
They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."
"Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
ID: 15833
Blond
A blonde is taking an interview, and the examiner is asking some general questions.
"What is the boiling temperature of water?"
"I am not sure."
"Miss, either you know it or you don't know it."
"No, I am still not sure."
"The boiling temperature of water is 100 degrees!"
"Ok, so it's the right angle that boils at 90 degrees?"
ID: 16393
Blond
A blonde girl comes into her dad's room and tells her dad...
Amanda: Dad, I'm glad you named me Amanda.
Dad: Why?
Amanda: It's because that's what everyone calls me!
+10,000 Jokes