ID: 22
Blond
What do you call a blond with half a brain?
Gifted.
ID: 18021
Blond
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!"
So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Somehow drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"
The second blonde replies,"They didn't last year...."
ID: 9010
Blond
A blond and a red-head were planning to go to an amusement park.
When they got to the park the blond asks, "who will pay, You or me?".
So the red-head says, "I'll tell you what, you'll pay for entrance, and I'll pay for all the rides." (The rides don't cost anything at all!)
ID: 7055
Blond
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a male farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the farmer is a blond. :)
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Er... excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!"
ID: 7643
Blond
A young blonde stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later, and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her, and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?" "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to do that?"
ID: 9075
Blond
A blond was stuck on an island. She could not get off, but there was an interesting structure on the island that intrigued her. It was a building with a small hole running through the bottom of it, and a bit away from it was a small hole, about five inches in diameter. She realized that there was no food on the island. She was stuck there for two days when the intendent came out and said, "Ma'am, the pedestrians here would appreciate it if you would get off of the Western Golf Course for awhile."
ID: 9432
Blond
At a recent PETA meeting, some members were discussing people they had seen wearing fur coats. Joan, a redhead, said, "Yesterday I saw a man wearing a fur coat and I wanted to yell at him about the cruelness of that coat!" Jack, a brown haired man, said, "I saw a woman wearing a fur coat three days ago and I almost launched into a lecture about animal treatment! If only people wouldn't do such things." Jan, a blond, said, "You wouldn't believe what I saw on my way here! A girl, dressed in fur from head to foot! It was unbelievable! I would've talked to her about cruelty to animals, but I was in the car. You wouldn't guess what she looked like."
"What?" Joan and Jack said in unison.
Jan said, "A golden retriever!"
ID: 6992
Blond
Three men are fishing. One catches a magic fish that will grant each one a wish if they let him go.
The first one wishes he could double his IQ. It is done.
The second one wishes to triple his IQ. It is done.
The last one (who is an idiot) wishes to multiply his IQ by a 1/2. The fish asks if he is sure; the man nods.
When the fish grants his wish, he turns into a blond.
ID: 10010
Blond
Why is a blond, Blond?
Isn't it obvious? They're dumb.
+10,000 Jokes