ID: 5185
Blond
Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?
So they have some place to put their feet.
ID: 15708
Blond
What do you get when two blonds fight?
A Stupid Fight.
ID: 6658
Blond
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
ID: 11364
Blond
Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?
A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus
Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tippex on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?
A: There's writing on the Tippex.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q. Did you hear about the blond man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!
Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A: A blow job with handle bars.
ID: 9010
Blond
A blond and a red-head were planning to go to an amusement park.
When they got to the park the blond asks, "who will pay, You or me?".
So the red-head says, "I'll tell you what, you'll pay for entrance, and I'll pay for all the rides." (The rides don't cost anything at all!)
ID: 11532
Blond
A pregnant woman was on a bus. As the bus was going along, the woman started to give birth. An off-duty doctor rushed to her side and started to help her. He shouted to the rest of the bus, "Can someone help me?" Then towards the back of the bus a blond got up and smashed the back window. The doctor turned to her and said, "What did you do that for?" The blond replied, "Well it said on the window, In emergency, break glass."
ID: 8241
Blond
Q: Why don't blond chicks date blond guys?
A: To avoid inbreeding.
ID: 8072
Blond
3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.
ID: 7971
Blond
Why did the blond make a square pie?
Because Pi(r) squared!
+10,000 Jokes