ID: 15116
Blond
A blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. "You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress," said the genie. The blonde replied, "I wish I had an endless glass of wine."
Suddenly a big, crystal glass filled with wine appeared in the blonde's hand. She drank it and to her surprise, it filled up again! "Wow! This wine is really nice, and it can't run out!" the blonde said. "In fact, it's so good, I'll have another two of these, please, genie!"
ID: 748
Blond
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game
for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked
the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I
just couldn't understand why they were killing each
other for 25 cents."
What on earth do you mean???"
Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and
then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming
was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
ID: 6503
Blond
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."
Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."
Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy? There's a thousand dollars in my hand."
But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we're going to be millionaires!"
ID: 1678
Blond
Q. Why do blondes wear panties?
A. To keep their ankles warm!!
ID: 540
Blond
Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
-It doesn't show the dirt
Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
-Fisher-Price.
Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
-The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
-It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
-It matches their mustache.
Why is the color brunette considered evil?
-When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?
How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
-Check her for a pulse.
What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
-A brunette rabbit
What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
-"What part of 'yes' do you not understand?"
Why did God create brunettes?
-So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
-The invitation.
Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
-From their underarms.
What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
-Gay, married, or a hostage.
How did Revlon come up with its brunette hair color?
-By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.
Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
-Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.
How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
-Startled.
ID: 2631
Blond
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the brunette, "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!"
The brunette jumps and the firemen are unable to position the blanket properly. Sadly, the brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
Then, the redhead steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!"
"Oh no! You're gonna put blanket in the wrong place!"
"No! We've go it covered! We'll catch you!" yell the firemen.
The redhead jumps and, again, the firemen are unable to position the blanket properly. Sadly, the redhead also slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
Finally, the blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!"
"Oh no! You're gonna put blanket in the wrong place!"
"No! We've go it covered! We'll catch you!" yell the firemen.
"Look," says the blonde, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're gonna catch me with that blanket... so, what I want you to do is put the blanket down and then I'll jump."
ID: 4051
Blond
What does a blond say when she is watching a porn movie?
ANSWER: "Look, me!"
ID: 4143
Blond
What do you call it when you hear Vrrrrm.ERT.Vrmmm.Ert?
Answer: A Blond at A Blinking Red Light.
ID: 4055
Blond
Why does a blond stand next to a mirror with her hands on her eyes?
She wants to see how she looks like when she is sleeping.
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