ID: 3478
Blond
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.
The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.
The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.
She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
ID: 9959
Blond
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''
ID: 14846
Blond
For those of you who do not know, a stroop test is where you say the color of the word, but not the word itself(and the words are spelling out colors).
One day there was a blonde. She saw stroop tests and found them fun. One day she was on a radio show. She said she was a fan of stroop tests and said she'd give the audience one. She explained what it was.
"Blue"
"Red"
"Green"
The first to call and give the answers would win a cash prize. Someone called in.
"YOU MORON! YOU CANT SPEAK A STROOP TEST!"
ID: 9074
Blond
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.
ID: 10885
Blond
Two blondes were building a house. One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into.
"Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"
"Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away."
"You idiot, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."
ID: 9075
Blond
A blond was stuck on an island. She could not get off, but there was an interesting structure on the island that intrigued her. It was a building with a small hole running through the bottom of it, and a bit away from it was a small hole, about five inches in diameter. She realized that there was no food on the island. She was stuck there for two days when the intendent came out and said, "Ma'am, the pedestrians here would appreciate it if you would get off of the Western Golf Course for awhile."
ID: 10701
Blond
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." "Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"
ID: 11484
Blond
There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, "Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?" She replied with, "I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does shrivel, I can heat it up in my vagina when you got back."
The husband ran out looking for berries. When he came back she asked, "What took you so long?"
He then said, "Can we fuck now or what?"
She said as long as you're not frost bit."
So they went up to their room and started kissing furiously; the next thing he knew, she was giving him the greatest head he had ever gotten. Then he laid her down on the bed and the heat of his breath on her thighs made her moan. Then they started making love furiously, all of a sudden someone bursts through the door and said, "Honey, why are you fucking my twin?" she was speechless.
The husband's twin then replies, "I was just making sure she was good enough for you, and she passed."
p.s.
The husband and his twin are blonds.
ID: 9416
Blond
What was the blonde college student doing at the harbor?
Looking for an internship.
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