ID: 8072
Blond
3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.
ID: 1678
Blond
Q. Why do blondes wear panties?
A. To keep their ankles warm!!
ID: 1679
Blond
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Fourth grade.
ID: 16110
Blond
A blonde named Megan decides to go out for a ride in her new convertible. While she's out driving she sees her best friend Christina, another blonde. She has a sign that reads "Vegas or Bust." "Why are you leaving?" asked Megan. "Some guy came up to me and told me to get out of town." "Come with me. We'll go find the guy that said this and find out what's up." Christina got in the car and they drove until Christina said she saw the guy who told her to leave town.
As they approached him, he looked at Christina and said, "I remember you." She cowered behind Megan. "You forgot your flier." He handed her a flier that read "Get Outta Town! To Sunny Beach Resorts California!"
ID: 467
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES?"
The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One."
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES?"
She immediately says "One." The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know."
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES?"
She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm � wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"
"Simple... Daaaa da da daaaa daaaa da daaaa... Daaaa da da daaa daa da daaaa da da... sing along now you remember it"
ID: 2236
Blond
There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head on an island and they were almost starving. In the end the brunette decided she would rather die trying to get back to land, which looked about 20 miles away, than stay on the island and starve.
So she started swimmming and got about 10 miles out before she gave up and drowned.
The red head decided she would do the same thing and she got 15 miles out before she gave up and drowned.
The blonde was lonely without the others so she swam out and got 19 miles out.
"Oh, I'm too tired!" she said.
So she swam back!
ID: 13714
Blond
One day a blonde and her brunette friend were listening to music together. The brunette had a few songs the blonde loved and so the brunette offered to burn a CD for her friend. "No, no," the blonde said, "I can burn my own CD" so the brunette lent the blonde the CD and they both went home. The next day the brunette went over to the blonde's house and saw lots of fire engines and smoke and a smoldering lump where the blonde's house had been. The blonde was off to the side looking angry. When she saw the brunette she stomped over and asked, "how exactly do you burn your CDs, because I tried using matches and it so did not work!"
ID: 451
Blond
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.
After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.
Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.
ID: 4504
Blond
Mission to Mars
(Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut)
The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle.
"Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions."
The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors.
So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen.
A few moments later, headquarters calls again: "Monkey 2, Monkey 2,
report to communications for instructions."
Monkey 2 sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyze the solar radiation.
Monkey 2 does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.
A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Female Astronaut 1, please report to communications for instructions."
The blonde sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says-
"I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
+10,000 Jokes