ID: 13436
Blond
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly, to his horror, there was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over - so now we're going to Sea World.....
ID: 8320
Blond
Q) How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A) 25!
One to mix the batter and 24 to peel the m&m's.
ID: 7443
Blond
1. If you had a $25 bill, what would you do with it?
2. How many tomatoes grow on a tree?
3. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
ID: 6741
Blond
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
ID: 6845
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were swimming the breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says "Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other girls were using their hands.".
ID: 7046
Blond
A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, "What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your body that you could think of! I even did your ears!"
She replied, "Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say out loud."
The plastic surgion, curious to know what the blonde wanted done, asked, "What is it? You can trust me.
She answered shyly. "This morning, while I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my butt had a huge crack down the middle and i was wondering if you could get me a new one that isn't broken."
ID: 6938
Blond
It was Arbor Day, and a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all planted something.
The redhead planted flowers in her front yard.
The brunette planted a tree in her back yard.
The blonde didn't know what to plant, so she asked the redhead.
"Plant something that looks good," she said.
The blonde still didn't know what to plant, so she asked the brunette.
"Plant something you want more of," she said.
The blonde finally knew what to plant. The next day,her husband was declared a missing person.
ID: 8429
Blond
How do you keep a blond busy?
Write "please turn over" on both sides of a paper!
ID: 8201
Blond
A blond and her friends went to a bank to rob it. The blond's job was to get the code for the vault they wanted to rob. Finally, the blond came back to the vault and began punching in numbers. Each time she typed in a number it beeped a different sound. A friend asked, "Do you know the code?"
The blond said, "No, but listen." She made a whole bunch of beeps then said, "It's the funky town music!"
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