ID: 8191
Blond
A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.
ID: 1679
Blond
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Fourth grade.
ID: 5468
Blond
Three women a brunette, a woman with jet black hair, and a blonde were pregnant and at the doctors' office to find out the sex of their babies. The nurse called for the brunette and she went into the office. She came out very happy and said, "My husband and I had sex standing up and I'm having a girl!"
The women with jet black hair was called and went into the office. She came out very happily and said, "My husband and I had sex lying down, and I'm having a boy!"
Next the blonde was called and went into the office. She soon ran back out crying. The other two women asked her what was wrong. The blond sobbed, "I'm having puppies!"
ID: 2444
Blond
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."
ID: 935
Blond
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party.
On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away.
Who got to the party first?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!
ID: 144
Blond
What's a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut?
She's trying to hold onto a thought.
ID: 321
Blond
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. "Hey," he says to the blonde, "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde shakes her head and goes back to her reading.
Five minutes later, the lawyer asks her again. She shakes her head again. When the lawyer asks her for a third time, she is exasperated and finally asks him what the game is just to get this lawyer off her back.
"It's simple. I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you give me five bucks. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five bucks." Seeing the blonde looks skeptical, he smiles, thinking she doesn't look very smart so he'll still make money if he changes things around a little bit. "Fine, how about this - if I get the question you ask me wrong, I pay you a HUNDRED bucks instead." Finally the blonde shrugs and looks at the man.
"How many miles are there from the earth to the sun?" asks the lawyer. The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. The lawyer smiles. "Your turn," he says in a friendly tone of voice. The blonde paused, then said, "What has 7 legs in the daytime and 2 legs at night?
The lawyer was stumped by this. He took out his laptop and emailed all his colleagues, to no avail. Finally he shakes his head and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. He sits in silence for a moment, then says, "So what's the answer?"
The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands the lawyer a five dollar bill.
ID: 5535
Blond
What does a blond think the last 2 words of the national anthem are? Play ball!
ID: 2781
Blond
Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!
+10,000 Jokes