BLOND

ID: 13581

Blond

Red Ears

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But... what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back."

ID: 4839

Blond

Cars and Blondes DON'T Mix

A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant.
"Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"
"May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"
"Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!"

ID: 6241

Blond

Zip Code

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

ID: 3554

Blond

Baby Bra

There were three babys - a blond, a redhead, and a brunet. They were fighting over who's mommy had the best bra.

The first baby says "My mom has a foam bra."

The second says "My mom has gel straps."

The blond baby says "Well, the tag on my moms bra says double D."

The blond won the fight.

ID: 1764

Blond

High Speed Chase

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in a red ferari speeding down a country road being chased by a squad car.

They try to lose him by darting into a forest behind a farm.

The trio ditch the car and decide to each hide in three burlap sacs on the ground.

The cop who was really close on their tail went up to each sac.

The cop kicked the first sac and the brunette inside said;

"Woof woof"

"Oh it's just a dog."

Then he kicked the second sac,

Inside that sack the redhead said;

"Meow Meow"

"Oh, it's just a kitten.

Then the cop went up to the third sac with the blonde inside and kicked it

The blonde said

"Potato potato"

ID: 1832

Blond

Bus

A blonde missed a 44 bus so she took the 22 bus twice!

ID: 578

Blond

Smile!

Why does a blonde smile at lightning?

She thinks she's getting her picture taken.

ID: 801

Blond

Oximoron

Q: What do you call an oxymoron?

A: A smart blonde!

ID: 41

Blond

Dating Blonde

How can you tell if a blonde woman has been dating?

By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.

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