ID: 1046
Blond
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she comes out and says she found it.
ID: 8906
Blond
1) Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
She Missed!
2) What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Twins!
3) Why doesn't a blonde drive a BMW?
Because she can't spell it!
4) How is a blonde the same as a bottle?
Thier both empty from the neck up!
5) Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
She missed!
ID: 10010
Blond
Why is a blond, Blond?
Isn't it obvious? They're dumb.
ID: 8922
Blond
There was once a blonde who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of her. She decided to do something about it. She sat back and thought about it.
Suddenly she thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of brunettes. So, if I start talking and behaving like them and dye my hair brown, no one will be able to make out that I am a blonde and make fun of me."
She went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, she walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."
Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a blonde?" The blonde was taken aback and she repeated her request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a blonde or not?"
This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so she admitted to the fact after which she asked, "But how did you know?"
The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"
ID: 16781
Blond
A blonde couple were going on a vacation to the countryside visiting their relatives. As they soon reach their relatives' home and go in, a blackout started.
On and on the couple tried to find a source of light. Finally one of the blonde asks, "Hey, Mary, can you find anything?"
Mary replies, "Nope, all I could find was this pair of flashlights."
ID: 14864
Blond
How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
She has her tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil!
ID: 13424
Blond
So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they were running from the police but all they could find was a barn. They were in a hurry to hide so the brunette hid in the horse's stable, the redhead hid in a tree, and the blonde hid behind a few boxes of oranges. When the policemen came to the barn, they went to the horses stable and the policeman heard something.
"Wait!" he said. "I hear breathing!"
But the brunette went, "Neigh! Neigh!"
"Oh, it's just a horse," the policeman said. Then he walked around and came upon a tree and heard breathing.
"Stop!" he said. "I hear breathing in the tree!"
"Caww! Caww!" went the redhead.
"Oh,it's just a bird," said the policeman. Next, the policemen came upon a barn with a stack of boxes of oranges.
"Wait!" Said the policeman. "I hear breathing!"
Then the blonde said "I'm an orange! I'm an orange!"
ID: 13074
Blond
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."
ID: 7771
Blond
A blond goes into a pizza shop for a snack. She orders, "May I have a veggie pizza slice with all the works?"
The worker says, "That would be our combo pizza."
The blond says, "No, thanks. I'll stay with the veggie slice."
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