ID: 2774
Blond
One day a blond from Cali decides to move take a trip to North Carolina to see her brunette friend. Of course, being a blond, she assumes that NC is like a whole different country.
When she gets there her friend is driving her back to the house. The blond asks "Do those traffic lights mean something different here?" and the brunette, playing a prank on the blond, says
"Yes. When the light it green, all the brunettes go. When the light is yellow, all the red heads go, and when the light is red, all the blonds go."
The very next day the blond goes to pick up some groceries for her and her friend. The light turns green. A lot of cars go and the blond is thinking, "Well, there sure are a lot of brunettes here." Then the light turns yellow and a few more cars go. She thinks "Well, there are a fair amount of red heads." Finally the light turns red and she goes and CRASH!!! She gets into a car accident.
The policeman is talking to her and he is about to give her a ticket for running a red light. He says to her "Miss, why did you run the red light" and she answers "What do you expect, I'm a blond!"
ID: 1171
Blond
Did you hear about the accident at the mall?
There was a power outage and a group of blondes was stuck on the escalator for 3 hours!
ID: 3480
Blond
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track."
"What sort of question would you ask Doctor?"
"Well, you might ask them..."
"Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?"
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?"
"I must confess I don't know much about history."
ID: 1857
Blond
Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?
Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
ID: 5022
Blond
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"
ID: 4788
Blond
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
ID: 945
Blond
A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The blonde kept doing this, until the man behind her became impatient. "Excuse me, can I just get a drink, THEN you can continue whatever you're doing???" "No way!" exclaimed the blonde. "I'm not giving up this machine when I'm winning!"
ID: 4838
Blond
A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help.
"I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady.
"For which kind of bird?" he asked helpfully.
"Oh, I dunno," she replied. "Whichever will grow the fastest."
ID: 3716
Blond
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."
+10,000 Jokes