ID: 8109
Blond
Q. How do you keep a blond from whistling while she is skydiving?
A. Make sure she wears underwear.
ID: 1135
Blond
Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters?
His daughters all drowned digging the grave.
ID: 167
Blond
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight game. Then they went on the roller coaster, and afterwards the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond again, and she weighed the same, so he took her home.
When she got home, she flumped on the couch and her mother said, "How was the date?"
The blond said, "Weewy Weewy Wousy."
ID: 11901
Blond
There were three blondes stranded on an island.
They were left with one bottle of water, so the decided to have thirds of the bottle.
The next day, the bottle is lying empty next to one blonde,
and the other two blondes say, "Why'd you drink all the water?" and the blonde says, "But my third was at the bottom."
ID: 9075
Blond
A blond was stuck on an island. She could not get off, but there was an interesting structure on the island that intrigued her. It was a building with a small hole running through the bottom of it, and a bit away from it was a small hole, about five inches in diameter. She realized that there was no food on the island. She was stuck there for two days when the intendent came out and said, "Ma'am, the pedestrians here would appreciate it if you would get off of the Western Golf Course for awhile."
ID: 11364
Blond
Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?
A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus
Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tippex on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?
A: There's writing on the Tippex.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q. Did you hear about the blond man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!
Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A: A blow job with handle bars.
ID: 381
Blond
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
ID: 7733
Blond
How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
ID: 7621
Blond
A blonde is eating out at a very fancy restaurant with her family. Right then she sees an ice carving of a dolphin by the wall.
She says to the waiter, "I love that ice carving, but what do you do with it when it melts?"
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