ID: 5792
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"
ID: 2774
Blond
One day a blond from Cali decides to move take a trip to North Carolina to see her brunette friend. Of course, being a blond, she assumes that NC is like a whole different country.
When she gets there her friend is driving her back to the house. The blond asks "Do those traffic lights mean something different here?" and the brunette, playing a prank on the blond, says
"Yes. When the light it green, all the brunettes go. When the light is yellow, all the red heads go, and when the light is red, all the blonds go."
The very next day the blond goes to pick up some groceries for her and her friend. The light turns green. A lot of cars go and the blond is thinking, "Well, there sure are a lot of brunettes here." Then the light turns yellow and a few more cars go. She thinks "Well, there are a fair amount of red heads." Finally the light turns red and she goes and CRASH!!! She gets into a car accident.
The policeman is talking to her and he is about to give her a ticket for running a red light. He says to her "Miss, why did you run the red light" and she answers "What do you expect, I'm a blond!"
ID: 317
Blond
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are all about to be shot by a firing squad. The redhead goes out first and stands in front of them. Right before they shoot, the redhead screams, "Tornado!" The firing squad turns to look, and the redhead runs away.
The brunette is up next, and decides it would be a good idea to to do the same thing that the redhead did. So, just as the firing squad is about to shoot, she screams, "Earthquake!" The firing squad looks around for a moment, distracted, giving the brunette just enough time to run away.
Then the blonde comes up and decides to copy the redhead and the brunette. Just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the blonde screams, "Fire!"
ID: 17925
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all about to jump off a cliff. As they jumped, they would yell the name of what they wanted to turn into.
The redhead went first. She yelled, "Hawk!" and she turned into a hawk and flew away.
The brunette went next. She yelled, "Butterfly!" and she turned into a butterfly and flew away.
The blonde went last. As she was about to jump, she tripped, and yelled, "Crap!" As she fell, she turned into a piece of poop.
ID: 6649
Blond
Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school?
A: They are the only ones who erase their
notebook when the teacher erases the board.
ID: 10101
Blond
1 Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
2 What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
3 What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel?
An air bag.
4 Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
5 Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.
ID: 8674
Blond
Did you hear the one about the blond Think Tank?
Once they got it got started, it drove through three houses and a convienence store before they figured out how to stop it.
ID: 10192
Blond
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
ID: 433
Blond
A blonde wanted to sell her car but failed many times. Even though the car looked pratically new it had over 400 000 miles on it. So she goes to a bar and theres a brunette sitting a few barstools away and she's wearing mechanic's overalls. They start talking and the blonde tells the brunette her problems. The brunette feels sorry for her.
The brunette says, "Well I'm a mechanic. I can help you sell your car but it's not legal."
The blonde says she'll do whatever it takes.
The brunette says, "Well I can change your odometer back to 40 000 miles and it'll be easier to sell."
The blonde agrees and gives the brunette her keys.
So the brunette takes the car back to her garage and sets back the counter. Then the next morning returns the car.
A week later they run into each other and the brunette asks the blonde if she sold her car.
The blonde says, "Why would I sell my car?? It only has 40 000 miles on it."
+10,000 Jokes