ID: 3767
Blond
There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
ID: 543
Blond
19. How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.
20. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
21. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
22. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
23. What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?
Far-from-thinking
24. What did the blonde think of the new computer?
She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
25. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
26. How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
27. How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
28. Why don't blondes eat Jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
29. Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
She liked kids...
30. Why don't blondes eat pickles?
Because they can't get their head in the jar.
31. Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?
32. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
33. Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
To put their feet through.
34. How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
35. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
36. How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
37 How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
38. Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
39. Why did the blonde fail her driver's license ?
She wasn't used to the front seat!
40. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
She picks up her purse and goes home.
41. Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.
42. What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"
43. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
44. How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was run over by the Zamboni machine.
45. What's a brunette's mating call?
Has that blonde gone yet?
When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
"All the blondes have gone home!"
46: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
47. Why do blondes like the GST? (GST - Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
Because they can spell it.
48. What is 74 to a blonde?
69 plus G.S.T.
49. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
50. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.
ID: 777
Blond
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "Thank you," and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "Why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
ID: 933
Blond
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
ID: 1012
Blond
How do you get a blonde to laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday!
ID: 11715
Blond
Blond: Daddy! I know my alphabet!
Dad: That took you 5 yaars!
Blond: I know, but now I know my ABD's!
ID: 1047
Blond
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
ID: 935
Blond
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party.
On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away.
Who got to the party first?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!
ID: 668
Blond
Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed
+10,000 Jokes