ID: 10586
Blond
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you," replies her brunette friend.
So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See, that guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replies the blonde." There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
ID: 11340
Blond
My brother and I were sitting at the computer reading the daily teaser from the past week. I read the last one (April 30th 2006) and my sister(who is a blonde) walks in to get a drink. I'm reading a line that says:"But, madam!", replied the bellman, and my sister walks up behind me and says "What did you call me?!" and I say, "Well I didn't call you any thing. I was reading this joke and she says, "Oh well I thought you were calling me a damn bitch!"
ID: 10031
Blond
1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
2 A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
3 A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer popped out of the machine. She set it on the ground, put sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
4 A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true or false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall and stares at the question paper for five minutes. Then, in a fit of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
5 A blonde decides to try to learn horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
ID: 7715
Blond
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire?''
ID: 11690
Blond
A man was walking down a street when he sees a blonde couple who looked extremely happy. He goes up to them and asks:
"Why are you guys so happy?"
The couple says "We just finished a puzzle that took us 3 years!"
"3 years!" the man said "It doesn't take that long to do a puzzle."
"Oh yes it does" said the couple "It said so right on the side of the box 2 to 3 years...!"
ID: 11366
Blond
"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
ID: 10835
Blond
One day a blonde was surfing the internet. After a few hours, she decided to have a coffee break.
When the blonde came back, she screamed. There was a bug on her moniter! She ran upstairs and grabbed a fly swatter. When she came back down she couldn't swat the bug. It was to big!
The blonde then remembered the label on the computer, for people having technical difficulties. After a while of searching, she found the label. She called the number immediately.
"Hello, this is Dell technical difficulties station", a man on the other side said.
"Hey, there's a bug on my monitor, and I tried swatting it, but it won't come off!" The blonde cried.
The man replied, "Well, the solution is simple. You take the mou-"
"A mouse won't eat a bug this big!" the blonde said, cutting the man off.
"No, no, no! All you have to do is move the mouse, then the screen saver will turn off."
ID: 6654
Blond
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
ID: 7193
Blond
A blonde walks into a restaraunt and asks for fish and chips. When she sees the fries on her plate she says "I asked for chips, not fries!"
+10,000 Jokes