ID: 1139
Blond
A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it isn't nice to keep bashing them in public.
The couple apologize and changes the topic.
A few minutes later the woman needs to go to the restroom, so she goes off, and she is followed by the blonde.
After 10 minutes the blonde comes out frusturated, and storms out the front door. The woman calmly comes out and sits down at her table.
The man asks what happened in there.
The woman replies, "Well, as I was washing my hands, the blonde came in and pulled a razor on me!"
The man replies, "Oh my god, what happened?"
The woman bursts out laughing, "Well, nothing, luckily she didn't find a place to plug it in!"
ID: 11876
Blond
Godzilla, King Kong, and a smart blonde are all on the Empire State Building. Who jumps first?
None. Because none of them exist!
ID: 9583
Blond
I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it's somewhat similar to something that happened in the show).
A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs.
Teacher: "So what would you say your IQ is?" she asks a student
Kid #1: "I don't know.. I think it's just the regular 100."
Teacher: "He, he, alright, you?" she asks another student.
Kid #2: "Umm... well... I took a test and it's 118."
Teacher: "Ah, you're pretty smart, then."
The teacher then realizes that someone is not paying attention.
Teacher: "What IQ do you think you have, young lady?"
The blonde jolts up a little due to the surprise.
Blonde: "My IQ?"
Teacher: "Yes."
The blonde then grins arrogantly, "Heh, my IQ is, I would say, probably like an A right now... what is that? Like a 4.0?"
ID: 8191
Blond
A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.
ID: 9870
Blond
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finally, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'not guilty' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
ID: 10165
Blond
Why didn't the blonde go on the amusement park ride?
Because he was too tall.
ID: 6654
Blond
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
ID: 7047
Blond
A blonde went to the eye doctor one day. She complained to the doctor that she couldn't see and was having a hard time driving because of this. He then told her that she would need glasses. The blond knowing that the glasses would cost a couple of hundred dollars decided to save her money because she remembered she had some at home. She then told the doctor that she had a pair. He said, "OK, wear them all the time." The blonde left and went home. She called the doctor and told him she couldn't see so he scheduled an appointment and told her to bring her glasses so he could see them. The next day the blond came in holding up two drinking glasses to her eyes and told the doctor "I had a hard time driving over here because my hands were all tied up."
ID: 7786
Blond
A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
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