ID: 15116
Blond
A blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. "You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress," said the genie. The blonde replied, "I wish I had an endless glass of wine."
Suddenly a big, crystal glass filled with wine appeared in the blonde's hand. She drank it and to her surprise, it filled up again! "Wow! This wine is really nice, and it can't run out!" the blonde said. "In fact, it's so good, I'll have another two of these, please, genie!"
ID: 7598
Blond
One day a blond and a redhead were talking on the phone.
Blonde:My doctor told me I have to lose about ten pounds.
Redhead:Oh really? Do you know what you going to do?
Blonde: No not at all... hey you lost wieght recently. How did you do it?
Redhead: I used the special K diet
blonde:Whats that?
Redhead:Well you eat a bowl of special K for lunch and one for breakfast and have a sensable dinner each day. I lost 5 pounds in a week
Blonde: Okay thanks!
a week later the blonde calls back her friend
Redhead: How did it work?
blonde:Not well at all i gained 5 pounds
redhead: Really did you follow my intructions exactly?
blonde: Well no but i had to lose double the wieght
Redhead: Well what did you do?
blonde: Well i figured that if 1 bowl for both breakfast and lunch was good for 5 pounds then two bowls for both breakfast and lunch would be good for ten.
ID: 10493
Blond
1. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
2. What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"
3. What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?
Artifical Stupidity
4. What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.
5. Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
They've already spent their money on thigh and butt implants.
ID: 10901
Blond
A man was stopped at a red light when a fantastic looking blonde pulled up beside him in a really hot Mustang convertible. Trying to start a conversation, the man asked, "Hey,..... how many horses you got under the hood?" The blonde looked at the man bewildered, and replied, "Well,.... there's one on the left side, one on the right side, ....... and oh yeah, there's one on the front of the car. I guess there's only three."
ID: 16934
Blond
It was a blond's birthday, and to celebrate, he took his girlfriend out on a date; he dressed very nicely, in a tuxedo, sharp tie, and some nice soft pants.
He went to his girlfriend, and said, "Do you have anything to say to me?"
His girlfriend also a blonde, says, "Yeah, what up with the tie?"
ID: 15690
Blond
There was a blonde that was chopping at a tree near the neighbor's house. Suddenly it fell over and hit the neighbor's house. The neighbor came out and said, "You just crashed a tree on our house!"
The blonde replied, "Well, since it's an hour house, it'll be gone in 60 minutes."
ID: 10074
Blond
1 What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.
2 I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
3 Did you hear about the blonde who
was M.D. (mentallY deficient)
4 Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
5 What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
ID: 9870
Blond
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finally, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'not guilty' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
ID: 11500
Blond
One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn't her birthday.
A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter.
She ordered the dessert again and the waiter recognized her.
This was her excuse:
"Oh that wasn't me that was my twin sister."
Let's just say she wasn't going back anytime soon.
+10,000 Jokes