ID: 167
Blond
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight game. Then they went on the roller coaster, and afterwards the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond again, and she weighed the same, so he took her home.
When she got home, she flumped on the couch and her mother said, "How was the date?"
The blond said, "Weewy Weewy Wousy."
ID: 1900
Blond
What does it mean when a blonde is saying,
"yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no?"
She's testing if her brunette friend's turn signal is working!
ID: 1275
Blond
The beautiful, vain blonde was visiting Las Vegas for the first time. She approached the roulette wheel, but it looked very confusing.
"How should I bet?" she asked the man standing beside her.
"Try betting your age," he suggested.
So the blonde put $500 on the number 32. The ball landed on 36, and the blonde promptly fainted.
ID: 1937
Blond
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave!
ID: 674
Blond
A blonde is on the road when suddenly she gets a phonecall from her friend: "Watch out! I heard on the radio that some lunatic is going against traffic!" So the blonde says, "Only one? They all are!"
ID: 3465
Blond
This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. "It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at blonde in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your tail!"
ID: 15706
Blond
#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying "An Essay."
#2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department.
#3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, "This doesn't taste like beer, or roots."
#4: She gave 200 dollars to a cashier for a small bag of chips and said, "Keep the change."
#5: When she heard that 1 of the 3-porta potties, each next to each other, was out of order, she walked 10 miles to the ocean.
#6: When she saw an old person she said, "At least I'm young."
#7: When she was suing someone, she thought that she was killing herself because she was on the counter sues side.
#8: When she realized someone in weaponry shed was attacking her, she called the police.
#9: When she was dying her hair, she thought she would be bald and her hair would be on the floor without a pulse.
#10: When she told this whole entire joke to her son, she realized she had low self-esteem.
ID: 6741
Blond
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
ID: 7466
Blond
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers.
Redhead sighed and said, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looked quizzically at her and said, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"
The redhead said, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
+10,000 Jokes