ID: 748
Blond
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game
for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked
the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I
just couldn't understand why they were killing each
other for 25 cents."
What on earth do you mean???"
Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and
then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming
was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
ID: 3907
Blond
Q: Why did the blond crash her helicopter?
A: Because she was cold and decided to turn off the ceiling fan!
ID: 14185
Blond
Did you hear about the blonde who went shopping for lip-gloss just so she could pass the make-up exam?
ID: 433
Blond
A blonde wanted to sell her car but failed many times. Even though the car looked pratically new it had over 400 000 miles on it. So she goes to a bar and theres a brunette sitting a few barstools away and she's wearing mechanic's overalls. They start talking and the blonde tells the brunette her problems. The brunette feels sorry for her.
The brunette says, "Well I'm a mechanic. I can help you sell your car but it's not legal."
The blonde says she'll do whatever it takes.
The brunette says, "Well I can change your odometer back to 40 000 miles and it'll be easier to sell."
The blonde agrees and gives the brunette her keys.
So the brunette takes the car back to her garage and sets back the counter. Then the next morning returns the car.
A week later they run into each other and the brunette asks the blonde if she sold her car.
The blonde says, "Why would I sell my car?? It only has 40 000 miles on it."
ID: 321
Blond
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. "Hey," he says to the blonde, "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde shakes her head and goes back to her reading.
Five minutes later, the lawyer asks her again. She shakes her head again. When the lawyer asks her for a third time, she is exasperated and finally asks him what the game is just to get this lawyer off her back.
"It's simple. I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you give me five bucks. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five bucks." Seeing the blonde looks skeptical, he smiles, thinking she doesn't look very smart so he'll still make money if he changes things around a little bit. "Fine, how about this - if I get the question you ask me wrong, I pay you a HUNDRED bucks instead." Finally the blonde shrugs and looks at the man.
"How many miles are there from the earth to the sun?" asks the lawyer. The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. The lawyer smiles. "Your turn," he says in a friendly tone of voice. The blonde paused, then said, "What has 7 legs in the daytime and 2 legs at night?
The lawyer was stumped by this. He took out his laptop and emailed all his colleagues, to no avail. Finally he shakes his head and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. He sits in silence for a moment, then says, "So what's the answer?"
The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands the lawyer a five dollar bill.
ID: 405
Blond
A brunette, blonde and a redhead walk into a bar.
The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the back room and if you stand in front of it and say something you think that's true you'll get something nice. But if you lie you'll be sucked in, never to be heard from again.
The brunette says, "I think I am the prettiest person in the bar," and she gets a brand new Corvette.
The redhead says, "I think I am the smartest person in the bar," and she gets 1 million dollars.
The blonde says, "I think---" And she disappeared.
ID: 5250
Blond
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one has ever been before, but they decide to go anyway. They take a couple of guns and a hunting dog and head out into the woods. A few hours later, they still haven't caught anything.
"I don't get it," says the first blonde. "Why haven't we caught anything yet?"
The second blonde says,"I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."
ID: 505
Blond
A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, the blonde came out again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
ID: 6482
Blond
A blond lady was taking a shower one morning and when she was done washing her hair she took the washcloth and washed herself. when she was done, she stepped to the left brought back her arm and swung. she did that 4-5 times. she was trying to dry the cloth. she finally just gave up. that night she told her husband what she did and he thought a moment and said "honey. were you putting the washcloth back in the water each time?" so the next morning the wife went back in the shower and tried not to hit the wash cloth in the water. she of course did not succeed. so again in bed that night she told her husband she had tried but she just could not get the washcloth to dry. so the husband said "how about I put a little heater in the shower so that when your done you can leave the water on and dry the cloth while your shaving. The wife agrees and the next morning sure enough there was a heater. so when the wife was done washing her hair she didnt see the cord right there without plastic on it so she grabbed the cord and put the washcloth on it. immidiatly the blond was shocked to death. About a month later the husband married another blond. she did the exact same thing. (everytime the husband married, he made sure the wife was blond,rich,and hot.) so now he had married 2 blonds. now another month passed and the man was filthy rich and he was married again. this time he waited to kill the wife. he wanted to do some things with her before he killed her, get a child or 2, then kill her. so thats just what he did. so a few months after she died he went to a club to find a wife. he found this hot blond and he noticed she was staring at him. he went up to her and asked her if she was available. she said yes and they got married the next day. now a month later he said that it would be nice to have a heater in the shower. the wife agreed and when the wife was taking a shower the husband crept up behind her and tried to kill her. the wife pressed a botton and in seconds there was a swarm of cops. the husband was arrested for life. The wife he had last married was a cop trying to find the killer. she of course got the jack pot.
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