ID: 4326
Blond
When my wife and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. My wife went up to the hostess (who was blonde) and asked, "Will it be long?"
The hostess, ignoring her, kept on writing in her book. My wife again asked "How much of a wait?"
The blonde looked up, "About ten minutes."
A short time later, the blonde got on the loudspeaker, and announced "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."
ID: 17375
Blond
One day little Susie, who is a blond(since this is in the 'blond' category), was at her grandma's house. She had been there for about two days and today grandma isn't feeling very well. The grandma is in bed, coughing and it isn't getting any better. The Grandma tells little Susie to go to the pharmacist and get some syrup for her cough.
So little Susie goes to the local pharmacy and she buys the syrup. The clerk tells her to remember to 'SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE'.
Susie goes back to the house and moments later, the ambulance has arrived and the doctors are trying their best to save poor granny.
When they questioned Susie about what happened, she says "Well, the clerk at the pharmacy and the instructions on the bottle said 'SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE'". One doctor said "So?". "Well I shook granny very well and gave her the medicine. Do you think this happened cause I didn't shake her well?" replies Susie who is now in tears.
ID: 3475
Blond
The phone call...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"
And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
ID: 427
Blond
A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener."
ID: 1740
Blond
One day a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were hiking when they came across a cliff.
There was no bridge and they couldn't think of anyother way to get across so they decided to turn around and go back. Just then a magical fairy appeared and said that they could turn into anything they wanted to help them get across the cliff, all they had to do was run, jump, and say the name of it. The brunette ran and jumped and yelled out, "Eagle," and she soared across the cliff. The redhead ran and jumped then yelled, "Hawk," and flew across to the other side. Then it was the blonde's turn she ran and jumped. When she was in mid air, she forgot what she was going to say and yelled "O crap!"....
ID: 664
Blond
What do you call a smart blond?
An Endangered species
ID: 1857
Blond
Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?
Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
ID: 176
Blond
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
ID: 586
Blond
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
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