ID: 15706
Blond
#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying "An Essay."
#2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department.
#3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, "This doesn't taste like beer, or roots."
#4: She gave 200 dollars to a cashier for a small bag of chips and said, "Keep the change."
#5: When she heard that 1 of the 3-porta potties, each next to each other, was out of order, she walked 10 miles to the ocean.
#6: When she saw an old person she said, "At least I'm young."
#7: When she was suing someone, she thought that she was killing herself because she was on the counter sues side.
#8: When she realized someone in weaponry shed was attacking her, she called the police.
#9: When she was dying her hair, she thought she would be bald and her hair would be on the floor without a pulse.
#10: When she told this whole entire joke to her son, she realized she had low self-esteem.
ID: 17997
Blond
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said"Airport Left" she turned around and went home
ID: 15818
Blond
The university's gymnasium hallway displayed basketball team pictures from the past forty years.
In every photo, one player, sitting front row center, held a basketball identifying the year of the team: 94-95, 95-96, 96-97, 97-98, etc.
One day, a senior on the basketball team noticed a cute, blonde freshman cheerleader staring curiously at the photos. The senior, hoping to score a few points off the court, commented about the team's history.
Impressed, the cute, blonde freshman cheerleader said: "Isn't it amazing how the teams always won by just one point?"
ID: 16934
Blond
It was a blond's birthday, and to celebrate, he took his girlfriend out on a date; he dressed very nicely, in a tuxedo, sharp tie, and some nice soft pants.
He went to his girlfriend, and said, "Do you have anything to say to me?"
His girlfriend also a blonde, says, "Yeah, what up with the tie?"
ID: 15388
Blond
A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year.
"Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs."
"FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?"
Mark agreed to ask.
A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order.
"Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you have frog legs?"
"But of course!" replied the waiter, proud of the quality of his restaurant.
Mark turned a shade of white. It was true!
"Are you okay, sir?"
"I'm... fine," Mark said, recovering well, "Hop on over and bring me a sandwich!"
ID: 16292
Blond
BLONDE #1: I found some jokes about us blondes online. They're inaccurate! They make us look-
BLONDE #2:Ugly?
BLONDE #3:Fat?
BLONDE #4:Lazy?
BLONDE #5:Mean?
BLONDE #1:No, stupidly funny.
ID: 10902
Blond
A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with
shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and then waved to the two aliens as they took off. "Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally
uttered. "Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?" "Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!" "Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?" "Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!" The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for five years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means - it means 'Unleaded Fuel Only'.
ID: 10193
Blond
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.
ID: 9958
Blond
1 What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend?
You get to park in handicapped zones.
2 What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue.
3 Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
So they don't crap on the street during parades!
+10,000 Jokes