ID: 426
Blond
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
ID: 4414
Blond
A policeman pulled a blonde over because she was driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
ID: 1046
Blond
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she comes out and says she found it.
ID: 321
Blond
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. "Hey," he says to the blonde, "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde shakes her head and goes back to her reading.
Five minutes later, the lawyer asks her again. She shakes her head again. When the lawyer asks her for a third time, she is exasperated and finally asks him what the game is just to get this lawyer off her back.
"It's simple. I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you give me five bucks. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five bucks." Seeing the blonde looks skeptical, he smiles, thinking she doesn't look very smart so he'll still make money if he changes things around a little bit. "Fine, how about this - if I get the question you ask me wrong, I pay you a HUNDRED bucks instead." Finally the blonde shrugs and looks at the man.
"How many miles are there from the earth to the sun?" asks the lawyer. The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. The lawyer smiles. "Your turn," he says in a friendly tone of voice. The blonde paused, then said, "What has 7 legs in the daytime and 2 legs at night?
The lawyer was stumped by this. He took out his laptop and emailed all his colleagues, to no avail. Finally he shakes his head and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. He sits in silence for a moment, then says, "So what's the answer?"
The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands the lawyer a five dollar bill.
ID: 144
Blond
What's a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut?
She's trying to hold onto a thought.
ID: 183
Blond
How does santa greet the three blonde sisters?
Ho. Ho. Ho.
ID: 9764
Blond
A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!"
ID: 331
Blond
Two blonds decided to go shopping. A few hours later they come out and the first blond realizes that she has locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, the first blond looks off into the distance and sees storm clouds. She turns to her friend and says, "Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the convertible top open!"
ID: 6658
Blond
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
+10,000 Jokes