ID: 5022
Blond
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"
ID: 8634
Blond
A man is up on stage telling blonde jokes, and the crowd is eating them up. Suddenly a blonde steps up in the back and starts cursing the man because of him telling the derogatory jokes. To stop him, he offers her the deal of her answering 5 multiple-choice questions. If she can answer them correctly, he'll get off the stage and never tell another blonde joke. She agrees and he starts questioning her.
"1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150"
The blonde says "I will skip this"
The man continues, "2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR"
The blonde asks for help from any university students near her, and then skips the question.
Trying not to laugh, the man continues, "3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER"
The blond asks for help from anyone in the crowd, and gives up.
The man snickers a little and asks her, "4) Which of these was King George VI's first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL"
The blond looks around vacantly and gives up.
By now the guy is having a hard time containing his gut-wrenching laughter, but composes himself enough to ask, "5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT"
The blond just gives up and sits down.
ID: 6834
Blond
Why did the blonde bring sandpaper to the desert?
She needed a map.
Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert?
If it got hot she could roll the window down.
How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?
It was getting hot so I turned the ceiling fan off.
What is the latest health epidemic among blondes?
MAIDS. If they don't get one they die.
Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She didn't want to get hearing AIDS.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell; She's got a grenade in her mouth.
Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because on the box it said from two to four years.
How do you know if a blonde e-mails you?
There's a computer in the mailbox.
How do you know if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
How do you know if a second blonde has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white out.
How do you know if a third blonde has been using the computer?
There's cheese in front of the mouse.
What do you call brunette hair dye?
A1)Artificial Intelligence. A2)Birth control
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Siamese twins.
What do you call a blonde in a sauna?
A hot air balloon.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
ID: 8630
Blond
There's a blonde who goes to a pizza parlor. When she orders, she asks for her pizza to be cut up into 6 slices instead of eight. Why?
A: She's not hungry enough to eat eight.
ID: 7981
Blond
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room.
She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
ID: 7733
Blond
How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
ID: 665
Blond
What do you call a movie about a man trying to make a blond smart?
Mission Impossible
ID: 41
Blond
How can you tell if a blonde woman has been dating?
By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.
ID: 945
Blond
A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The blonde kept doing this, until the man behind her became impatient. "Excuse me, can I just get a drink, THEN you can continue whatever you're doing???" "No way!" exclaimed the blonde. "I'm not giving up this machine when I'm winning!"
+10,000 Jokes