ID: 14876
Blond
An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
ID: 10586
Blond
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you," replies her brunette friend.
So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See, that guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replies the blonde." There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
ID: 10914
Blond
A blond had a crazy idea one day to skip school, so she decided to try her luck. The day went by fine and she had a good day at the mall. A few days later, she gets a note saying she has to go to the office to talk about the day she was gone. She was very paranoid and afraid of what might happen. When she got to the office the counselor asked her to sit down, and said, "You never picked up your pictures that we gave out on the day you were absent." The blond replies, "Oh, is that all you called me down for? I thought you had found out I skipped school that day!"
ID: 11366
Blond
"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
ID: 11340
Blond
My brother and I were sitting at the computer reading the daily teaser from the past week. I read the last one (April 30th 2006) and my sister(who is a blonde) walks in to get a drink. I'm reading a line that says:"But, madam!", replied the bellman, and my sister walks up behind me and says "What did you call me?!" and I say, "Well I didn't call you any thing. I was reading this joke and she says, "Oh well I thought you were calling me a damn bitch!"
ID: 10193
Blond
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.
ID: 11364
Blond
Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?
A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus
Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tippex on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?
A: There's writing on the Tippex.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q. Did you hear about the blond man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!
Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A: A blow job with handle bars.
ID: 10522
Blond
1 Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.
2 Why don't blondes use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.
3 Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
Cause their balls show.
4 Why don't a blondes eyes fall out of her when she stands?
The vacuum in her head keeps them in place.
5 What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."
ID: 10485
Blond
1) What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
2) What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
The blonde works in the dark!
3) How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Scroll down...
Scroll up...
4) So a blonde is walking down the street and she stops to ask a
man the time, he says "O, it's uhh...4:45." The blonde
responds, "Man, I've been asking that question all day and I get
a different answer every time!
5) Superman, Batman, and a smart blonde all died on the same day.Which one got to Heaven first?
None of them.They are all make-believe.
+10,000 Jokes