ID: 14185
Blond
Did you hear about the blonde who went shopping for lip-gloss just so she could pass the make-up exam?
ID: 3717
Blond
A blond named Pam is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with Regis Philbin
Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth one million dollars. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Pam: "I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."
Carol (also a blond) answers the phone: "Hello?"
Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."
Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."
Carol: "Oh geez, Pam. That's simple. It's a cuckoo."
Pam: "Are you sure?" Carol: "I'm sure."
Regis: "Pam, you heard Carol. Do you keep the $500,000 or play for the million?"
Pam: "I want to play; I'll go with C) cuckoo."
Regis:" Is that your final answer?"
Pam: "Yes."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Pam: "Yes; I think Carol's pretty smart."
Regis: "You said C) cuckoo... And you're right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"
To celebrate, Pam flies Carol to New York. That night they go out on the town. As they're sipping champagne, Pam looks at Carol and asks her," Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
Pam, "it was easy," replies her (blond) friend. "Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."
ID: 6283
Blond
A blonde's son was playing catch with his friend. The blonde was working in the yard, planting flowers and such. Her son was throwing the baseball back and forth with his friend when he suddenly smiled.
He threw the baseball straight at his blonde mom, and yelled, "Think Fast!!!" so the blonde said silently to herself, "Fast, fast, fast, fast..."
The blonde got herself hit right plop in the head.
ID: 1848
Blond
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain that's the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not need curtains...."
And the blonde said:
"Helloooo.... I've got Windows!"
ID: 2798
Blond
An agitated patron calls on to the blond waiter and inquired why there was a footprint on his meal.
"Well," the innocent-looking blond waiter replied. "You rushed in here, ordered an omelette and asked me to step on it."
ID: 3152
Blond
Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, "You think your assistant is dumb, watch this." And the man calls over the blond and says "Go to my house and see if I'm home." So the blond says "Yes sir! Right away sir!" and away she goes.
The second boss says "You call that dumb! Watch this!" So he calls over his blonde assistant and says "Here's a dime, go buy me a car." She replies "Yes sir! No problem!" and away the blond goes.
On their way to go do the tasks given to them, they meet up and start talking.
The first blond says "My boss is so stupid! He told me to go to his house and see if he's home. I mean, why couldn't he just call and see if he's home! OH! The nerve!"
The second blond says "You think that's dumb? My boss gave me a dime to go buy him a car! Honestly! He didn't even tell me what kind or color he wanted!"
ID: 22
Blond
What do you call a blond with half a brain?
Gifted.
ID: 434
Blond
On her birthday, a blonde was given a fishing rod. She decides to use the gift on the weekend and have a good time, so she goes and buys fishing gear and sets out. She goes to what she thinks is a nice fishing spot and drills a hole, then puts her rod in.
She hears a man say, "There is no fish in there."
So she goes someplace else and drills and puts her rod in.
Then hears a man say in an irritated tone, "There is no fish in there."
So she repeats the process a third time and again hears the man tell her, "There is no fish in there."
Angry, the blonde gets up and faces the man and says, "How do you know there is no fish in there?"
The man replies, "This is an ice hockey rink."
ID: 3483
Blond
A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what was the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always came to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"
+10,000 Jokes