ID: 1699
Blond
One day, a blonde and a brunette were talking on the phone. Then the brunette says, " I have to go get a new mouse for the computer. My mouse isn't running good." Since the blonde hates mice. she goes over to her computer and opens it up, looking for a running mouse. She runs back to the phone and says, " But my computer works fine without a mouse"; but since she took so long looking for the mouse, her friend hung up and the phone battery was dying out so it sounded like a squeeky assuming and it was the mouse she searched her whole house finding not one mouse. Then she calls her brunette on the phone saying I can't find one mouse in my house what does it look like? After she finished describing it the blonde finds it, then she squishes it saying, " There, it is dead! "
ID: 663
Blond
What are two blondes doing in front of a motorcycle?
Arguing about who get a window seat.
ID: 17071
Blond
One night a bartender who was working at a local joint was very drunk.
His fiancee left him a long time ago and he was very desperate
so he started using alcohol as a substitute. A little later that night a blond walked in late at night and sat down. The blond was cute young and very flirty. So a little later she started flirting with the bartender. He started to get the drift that she was flirting and started flirting very heavily with her back.
A little later she felt something and before she could stand to go to the restroom she had her period right there she quickly sat back and felt mortified praying the bartender did not notice anything. He didn't so she started ordering lots of bloody marys from the bartender that took his place while he was on his break. When he came back he looked at her and all the spilt bloody marys and said my god you must love that drink. By the way what's your name you never told me? Oh my name's mary, oh really he then noticed something wet in her dress. So your favorite drink is a bloody mary he said. Yeah she said. He then realized she had her period because he noticed something wet in her pants. Ya, but I don't like bloody marys that much. He then noticed another cute blond sipping a drink. But i sure like Shirley temples.
ID: 11009
Blond
A blonde got an invitation to a party which said "Wear brown tie only!"
After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!
ID: 7770
Blond
A blonde goes to the store and gets a box of almonds. As she is allergic to nuts, she asks a clerk at the counter, "Does this contain nut ingredients?"
ID: 7055
Blond
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a male farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the farmer is a blond. :)
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Er... excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!"
ID: 7715
Blond
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire?''
ID: 6654
Blond
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
ID: 7461
Blond
A blonde laughs at a joke 3 times.
When the joke is told,
When the joke is explained,
And 5 days later, when she gets it.
+10,000 Jokes