ID: 8429
Blond
How do you keep a blond busy?
Write "please turn over" on both sides of a paper!
ID: 609
Blond
A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.)
The driver, blonde of course, explained, "But I didn't go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!"
ID: 3480
Blond
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track."
"What sort of question would you ask Doctor?"
"Well, you might ask them..."
"Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?"
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?"
"I must confess I don't know much about history."
ID: 427
Blond
A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener."
ID: 588
Blond
Why did a blonde take an empty glass and a glass full of water to bed?
She wasn't sure if she would get thirsty during the night.
ID: 4426
Blond
Blondes are like pool tables - every time you put a dollar in, she'll rack your balls.
ID: 4788
Blond
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
ID: 984
Blond
A trucker has just turned a corner on a deserted roadway and was proceeding to change lanes when a blonde in a speedy corvette cut right in front of him almost making him get run off the road. Enraged the trucker sped up and overtook the blonde then forced her to slow down. When the blonde finally stopped the trucker stepped out of his truck, went over the to corvette and yanked the blonde out.
He then drew a circle with a piece of chalk he had around the blonde.
"If you step outside of this circle, I will kill you. You hear? You just stay right there missy," said the Trucker.
The trucker went to his truck and grabbed a wooden bat. He smashed the corvettes windows in and knocked off the rear-view mirror. Then he stops and hears a tiny giggle. He turns around and the blonde is trying not to laugh.
He turns back to work and stabs the tires with his swiss army knife, then smashes in the car windows. Then he hears a snicker from behind him. He turns around and the blonde is red from trying to hold in a laugh. Getting angry the trucker proceeds to smash the taillights, and dent the hell out of the cars body. Wanting to completely obliterate the car, he went into his semi-truck and ran over the car crushing it into a flattened piece of metal.
As he gets out to admire his demolition work, he sees the blonde on the ground laughing like a madwoman and rolling around holding her sides.
He goes and grabs the blonde by her hair and yells in her face, "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU FOOL??"
The blonde tries to put on a straight face and says, "While you were looking away, I stepped out of the circle 3 TIMES!"
ID: 4143
Blond
What do you call it when you hear Vrrrrm.ERT.Vrmmm.Ert?
Answer: A Blond at A Blinking Red Light.
+10,000 Jokes