ID: 4413
Blond
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
ID: 1838
Blond
All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?" Tommy said, "A cow eating grass." "Ok, where's the grass?" "The cow ate it all." "Ok, where's the cow?" "He went to go look for more grass."
ID: 4040
Blond
Why does a blonde keep lowering her head in the supermarket?
She is looking for low prices.
ID: 3358
Blond
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief.
"Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."
ID: 2627
Blond
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.
ID: 3177
Blond
Once a blond police officer stopped a man and asked for his driving license.
She saw it and told the man "it says here that you must wear glasses"
The man said "I have contacts"
The blond said "I don't care who you know, you are still getting a traffic ticket"
ID: 3152
Blond
Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, "You think your assistant is dumb, watch this." And the man calls over the blond and says "Go to my house and see if I'm home." So the blond says "Yes sir! Right away sir!" and away she goes.
The second boss says "You call that dumb! Watch this!" So he calls over his blonde assistant and says "Here's a dime, go buy me a car." She replies "Yes sir! No problem!" and away the blond goes.
On their way to go do the tasks given to them, they meet up and start talking.
The first blond says "My boss is so stupid! He told me to go to his house and see if he's home. I mean, why couldn't he just call and see if he's home! OH! The nerve!"
The second blond says "You think that's dumb? My boss gave me a dime to go buy him a car! Honestly! He didn't even tell me what kind or color he wanted!"
ID: 1832
Blond
A blonde missed a 44 bus so she took the 22 bus twice!
ID: 3465
Blond
This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. "It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at blonde in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your tail!"
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