ID: 15646
Blond
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Copper is a brown-red color, correct? This is scientific evidence to back up blonde jokes!
ID: 10880
Blond
One time, when there was a hope for mankind, some blonds appeared in front of a judge. The judge said, "You can either have world peace or keep your cellular phones and get electrocuted."
So the blond takes out her cellular phone and the judge says; "What are you doing?" and she simply says; "Im phoning a friend."
Now I'm not sure what happened after that because no one saw this blond ever again!
ID: 6658
Blond
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
ID: 11369
Blond
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
ID: 8201
Blond
A blond and her friends went to a bank to rob it. The blond's job was to get the code for the vault they wanted to rob. Finally, the blond came back to the vault and began punching in numbers. Each time she typed in a number it beeped a different sound. A friend asked, "Do you know the code?"
The blond said, "No, but listen." She made a whole bunch of beeps then said, "It's the funky town music!"
ID: 8766
Blond
A blonde and a brunette are hanging from a pole to see who can hang the longest. The blonde is showing off by hanging from one hand. The brunette says, "I bet you can't do no hands."
The blonde takes the challenge and loses the contest.
ID: 8109
Blond
Q. How do you keep a blond from whistling while she is skydiving?
A. Make sure she wears underwear.
ID: 7643
Blond
A young blonde stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later, and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her, and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?" "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to do that?"
ID: 7406
Blond
Why did they ban the wave at the local football games?
*Too many blondes were drowning.
Why was the blonde on the roof of the bar?
*Someone told her that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes eat M&Ms?
*They are too hard to peel.
Why do blondes take the pill?
*It's the only way that they can keep track of what day of the week it is.
Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
*She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
+10,000 Jokes