ID: 185
Blond
If you're on a plane going to California and you're stuck in an aisle seat how do you trick a blonde into giving you her window seat?
Tell her only the aisle seats are going to California.
ID: 14876
Blond
An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
ID: 17071
Blond
One night a bartender who was working at a local joint was very drunk.
His fiancee left him a long time ago and he was very desperate
so he started using alcohol as a substitute. A little later that night a blond walked in late at night and sat down. The blond was cute young and very flirty. So a little later she started flirting with the bartender. He started to get the drift that she was flirting and started flirting very heavily with her back.
A little later she felt something and before she could stand to go to the restroom she had her period right there she quickly sat back and felt mortified praying the bartender did not notice anything. He didn't so she started ordering lots of bloody marys from the bartender that took his place while he was on his break. When he came back he looked at her and all the spilt bloody marys and said my god you must love that drink. By the way what's your name you never told me? Oh my name's mary, oh really he then noticed something wet in her dress. So your favorite drink is a bloody mary he said. Yeah she said. He then realized she had her period because he noticed something wet in her pants. Ya, but I don't like bloody marys that much. He then noticed another cute blond sipping a drink. But i sure like Shirley temples.
ID: 14015
Blond
One day a blonde and her boyfriend went to a car store. He asks her what car she wants but she says, "I dunno."
So he takes her around to all the car shops and she says, "I want the BMW."
He asks her why she wants a BMW and she says, "Because I dunno how to spell the other brands!"
ID: 14839
Blond
This story is true. I heard my brother tell it to my cousins when we went out spotlighting.
Well my brother and 2 of his friends were drunk. One of my brothers friends were so drunk he passed out. I forget what he landed on, but the power went out. The blond comes screaming "What's happening??!!" my brother and his other friend reply,"The house is falling down!!" So the blond runs to the door and pushes up on the doorway, and turns beet red. I don't know the erst of the story because my brother had just remembered I was in the car. He knew I would tell mom everything he said that was bad because I'm 12.
ID: 14370
Blond
Help....
The Titanic is going to sink. Everybody on the ship is
shouting, crying, running or praying to God...
Just then an Italian asks a nearby blond on the ship, Italian: "How far is land from here?"
Blond: "Two miles."
Italian: "Only two miles? Then why are these fools making so much noise? I can swim even further."
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to ask something again.
Italian: "Just tell me which side is the land two miles from here?"
Blond: "Downwards......"
ID: 12061
Blond
A blonde and her friends at a military camp had been taken out to play a game of paintball. Her team all bundle into their trench and prepare for the game. Suddenly, the whistle blows to signal the start of the game and the group-leader shouts,
"Fire at will!"
As the rest of the blonde's group start firing she turns to the group-leader and asks,
"Which one's Will?"
ID: 11129
Blond
A smart blonde, a leprachaun and a fairy were in an elevator together talking about something, but whatever they were talking about was not true because there is no such thing as a leprechaun or a fairy or a smart blonde.
ID: 13388
Blond
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
+10,000 Jokes