ID: 2307
Blond
A blond got a new job cutting down trees. On the first day her boss handed her a chainsaw and said,
"Now you have to go into that forest and cut down as many trees as possible using that chain saw. Please be careful with it and also please remember that the minimum is 6 trees a day."
The blonde went into the forest and cut down trees but at the end of the day she had only managed to cut down 4.
Her boss decided to give another chance but the next day she only managed 3. He decided to give her one last chance but on the third day she only cut two trees.
When she finished work, he called the blond over and took her back into the forest.
"Right,"he said,"You must be doing something wrong here so watch how I do it, then I'll give you one more chance before you're fired.
So he stood in front of the tree and started up the chainsaw. The blond looked around suddenly and said,
"What's that noise?"
ID: 13387
Blond
Years ago when I was working at Customer Service for a gardening company, I came across this tale. It is completely true!
A lady came in looking for a soaker hose (a hose that drips water into the soil every few minutes) I helped her find it, but soon, she came back with a complaint.
"What's the problem," I asked.
"It leaks."
ID: 939
Blond
A blonde was recently fired from her cashier job, because she kept stealing money from the register. She went looking for work the next day.
A few days later, she came to a man who needed someone. "I'm here for the paint job", the blonde said eagerly. "Alright. Take this paint and brush, and go paint my backyard porch", replied the man.
The blonde immediately started painting. After she was done, she decided to do a second coat. When she was finished, she went to the man to get her pay.
"I finished it, and did a second coating too! By the way, that's not a Porsche, it's a new BMW".
ID: 1135
Blond
Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters?
His daughters all drowned digging the grave.
ID: 350
Blond
Why are the blonde's boobs square?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
ID: 801
Blond
Q: What do you call an oxymoron?
A: A smart blonde!
ID: 1666
Blond
Q: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 3rd grade. Who has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde because she is 18.
ID: 443
Blond
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
ID: 152
Blond
A blonde went into a local salon for a haircut. She was wearing a pair of headphones and she refused to take them off. The hairdresser tried to slip them off to cut her hair but the blonde just screamed "NO, DONT DO IT!"
In a few minutes the blonde fell asleep from all the thinking she had to do to pick out a hairstyle. The hairdresser takes off the headphones and in a few minutes the blonde dies.
The hairdresser, shocked, then hears the headphones. It was repeating the words "Inhale... exhale.... inhale..... exhale...."
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