ID: 3358
Blond
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief.
"Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."
ID: 321
Blond
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. "Hey," he says to the blonde, "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde shakes her head and goes back to her reading.
Five minutes later, the lawyer asks her again. She shakes her head again. When the lawyer asks her for a third time, she is exasperated and finally asks him what the game is just to get this lawyer off her back.
"It's simple. I ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you give me five bucks. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five bucks." Seeing the blonde looks skeptical, he smiles, thinking she doesn't look very smart so he'll still make money if he changes things around a little bit. "Fine, how about this - if I get the question you ask me wrong, I pay you a HUNDRED bucks instead." Finally the blonde shrugs and looks at the man.
"How many miles are there from the earth to the sun?" asks the lawyer. The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands him five dollars. The lawyer smiles. "Your turn," he says in a friendly tone of voice. The blonde paused, then said, "What has 7 legs in the daytime and 2 legs at night?
The lawyer was stumped by this. He took out his laptop and emailed all his colleagues, to no avail. Finally he shakes his head and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. He sits in silence for a moment, then says, "So what's the answer?"
The blonde silently reaches into her purse and hands the lawyer a five dollar bill.
ID: 13049
Blond
Glow in the dark sunglasses
A book on how to read
A dictionary index
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through toilet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
ID: 6649
Blond
Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school?
A: They are the only ones who erase their
notebook when the teacher erases the board.
ID: 7971
Blond
Why did the blond make a square pie?
Because Pi(r) squared!
ID: 6992
Blond
Three men are fishing. One catches a magic fish that will grant each one a wish if they let him go.
The first one wishes he could double his IQ. It is done.
The second one wishes to triple his IQ. It is done.
The last one (who is an idiot) wishes to multiply his IQ by a 1/2. The fish asks if he is sure; the man nods.
When the fish grants his wish, he turns into a blond.
ID: 7031
Blond
My wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said "Oh, honey, there's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
ID: 7406
Blond
Why did they ban the wave at the local football games?
*Too many blondes were drowning.
Why was the blonde on the roof of the bar?
*Someone told her that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes eat M&Ms?
*They are too hard to peel.
Why do blondes take the pill?
*It's the only way that they can keep track of what day of the week it is.
Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
*She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
ID: 9209
Blond
Once, there was a blonde who called her boyfriend and said, "Baby, I'm working on this puzzle and it's really hard. Can you come and help me?" He asked what it looked like and she replied saying that there was a tiger on the box. The boyfriend was convinced to come over and help. She welcomed him at the door and showed him the mess of pieces on her coffee table. After observing the peices, the boyfriend said, "Okay, sweetie, let's sit down, relax, have some coffee, then can we please put the frosted flakes back in the box?"
+10,000 Jokes