ID: 12197
Blond
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
ID: 3477
Blond
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"
"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."
"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"
"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."
ID: 429
Blond
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yelled one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yelled the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
"Together, together!" they yelled.
ID: 1917
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
ID: 183
Blond
How does santa greet the three blonde sisters?
Ho. Ho. Ho.
ID: 7971
Blond
Why did the blond make a square pie?
Because Pi(r) squared!
ID: 10192
Blond
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
ID: 2632
Blond
One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car.
"If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned.
"Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the husband countered.
"Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a spare key in the glove box!"
ID: 2774
Blond
One day a blond from Cali decides to move take a trip to North Carolina to see her brunette friend. Of course, being a blond, she assumes that NC is like a whole different country.
When she gets there her friend is driving her back to the house. The blond asks "Do those traffic lights mean something different here?" and the brunette, playing a prank on the blond, says
"Yes. When the light it green, all the brunettes go. When the light is yellow, all the red heads go, and when the light is red, all the blonds go."
The very next day the blond goes to pick up some groceries for her and her friend. The light turns green. A lot of cars go and the blond is thinking, "Well, there sure are a lot of brunettes here." Then the light turns yellow and a few more cars go. She thinks "Well, there are a fair amount of red heads." Finally the light turns red and she goes and CRASH!!! She gets into a car accident.
The policeman is talking to her and he is about to give her a ticket for running a red light. He says to her "Miss, why did you run the red light" and she answers "What do you expect, I'm a blond!"
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