ID: 15440
Blond
All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.
At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!
They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."
"Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
ID: 12839
Blond
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died
because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to
get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife, a blonde, to give me a hand starting the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30mph for it to start.
She said "fine!", hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming and wondering what she could be doing.
A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror
coming at me at about 40 mph, and I suddenly realized that I
should have been a bit clearer with my directions...
ID: 13424
Blond
So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they were running from the police but all they could find was a barn. They were in a hurry to hide so the brunette hid in the horse's stable, the redhead hid in a tree, and the blonde hid behind a few boxes of oranges. When the policemen came to the barn, they went to the horses stable and the policeman heard something.
"Wait!" he said. "I hear breathing!"
But the brunette went, "Neigh! Neigh!"
"Oh, it's just a horse," the policeman said. Then he walked around and came upon a tree and heard breathing.
"Stop!" he said. "I hear breathing in the tree!"
"Caww! Caww!" went the redhead.
"Oh,it's just a bird," said the policeman. Next, the policemen came upon a barn with a stack of boxes of oranges.
"Wait!" Said the policeman. "I hear breathing!"
Then the blonde said "I'm an orange! I'm an orange!"
ID: 12067
Blond
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
ID: 11863
Blond
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch with him."
"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.
"Why not?" the doctor asked.
"Because," she replied, "he can't throw."
ID: 14532
Blond
A blonde goes into a newsagent's office and asks for her usual paper.
The newsagent says, "Did you know your paper is going to cost more from tomorrow?"
"In that case, I'd better buy ten more of today's!"
ID: 13940
Blond
Why did the Irish people jump on the bartender?
He said, "The drinks are on me."
ID: 15137
Blond
There once was a blonde who was writing a book. She didn't know what else to write, so she took a block from her little sisters toy box and went to go and watch TV. Her mom comes in and sees the book on the table with the wooden block on it. She goes ask her daughter what it was and her blonde daughter responded, "It's writers block mommy!"
ID: 12830
Blond
Q: How do you get a blonde with one arm out of a tree?
A: Wave to her
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