ID: 1917
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
ID: 7610
Blond
A blonde goes on vacation to New York and wants to take a tour.
She goes to ask about the tours and says, "So, where can I catch the bus for the walking tour?"
ID: 5792
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"
ID: 4761
Blond
There were two blondes sitting on the roof of a house. The ladder they had used to get on the roof fell down onto the ground.
Blonde #1: Go get the ladder!
Blonde #2: No way! If I jump down, I'll kill myself.
Blonde #1: I know! I'll shine my flashlight down to the ground and you can climb down the beam of light.
Blonde #2: No way! You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway down!
ID: 1666
Blond
Q: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 3rd grade. Who has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde because she is 18.
ID: 555
Blond
A blonde and a brunette go parachuting. The blonde jumps first, pulls her parachute cord, and slowly drifts in the air and enjoys the view.
The brunette jumps after her and pulls her parachute cord, but nothing happens! She pulls it again, this time as hard as she can, but still nothing. She pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either. She passes by the blonde like a speeding bullet!
The blonde looks at her and says, while getting her parachute off her shoulders, "So, you want to race, do you?"
ID: 3249
Blond
Name:_________
1. Finish this pattern: a,_,c,d,e,f (hint, B)
2. If you are standing, what are you doing? (hint, standing)
3. Finish the sentence: I am a blond______
4. Explain Einstein's theory, or spell cat
5. Are you writing with a pen/pencil or a tissue? (hint pen/pencil)
6. Spell the word chicken
ID: 1699
Blond
One day, a blonde and a brunette were talking on the phone. Then the brunette says, " I have to go get a new mouse for the computer. My mouse isn't running good." Since the blonde hates mice. she goes over to her computer and opens it up, looking for a running mouse. She runs back to the phone and says, " But my computer works fine without a mouse"; but since she took so long looking for the mouse, her friend hung up and the phone battery was dying out so it sounded like a squeeky assuming and it was the mouse she searched her whole house finding not one mouse. Then she calls her brunette on the phone saying I can't find one mouse in my house what does it look like? After she finished describing it the blonde finds it, then she squishes it saying, " There, it is dead! "
ID: 4504
Blond
Mission to Mars
(Space Shuttle with two trained monkeys and a blonde astronaut)
The Mission Control Room in the US calls the Space Shuttle.
"Monkey 1, Monkey 1, report to communications for instructions."
The trained monkey sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors.
So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen.
A few moments later, headquarters calls again: "Monkey 2, Monkey 2,
report to communications for instructions."
Monkey 2 sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyze the solar radiation.
Monkey 2 does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation.
A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Female Astronaut 1, please report to communications for instructions."
The blonde sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says-
"I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
+10,000 Jokes