ID: 11643
Blond
A blonde and her husband go to buy her new clothes. First, they decide she needs a new shirt, so they go through a few shirts but she rejects them all. Finally she points at one that she likes, but he thinks it is ugly, so he says no. They go through almost the whole store, and she says no to all of the shirts. Bored and annoyed, the husband finally goes up to the shirt she likes and generously "Fine, do you want this polo shirt?" The wife thinks for a few seconds and says "Oh, it's a polo shirt? In that case no, I'm really not into sports."
ID: 14632
Blond
Why did the blonde dance in front of the traffic light?
Because she thought she was in a disco.
ID: 3479
Blond
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions -
"Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and,
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now...
The 45th bus just went by!"
ID: 17983
Blond
One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV".
He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".
The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.
Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses.
She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?".
He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."
ID: 1013
Blond
What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
She goes home!
ID: 12044
Blond
A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Who lands first?
\ / \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
ID: 588
Blond
Why did a blonde take an empty glass and a glass full of water to bed?
She wasn't sure if she would get thirsty during the night.
ID: 13384
Blond
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
ID: 11780
Blond
There were three women that had just escaped from jail, one was a brunette, one was a red-head, and one was a blonde. They were running through the woods and the police and their dogs were chasing after them. The women ran into three empty potato sacks. They decided to hide.
A policeman found the sacks and decided to give the first one a kick. It meowed. "Aww, it's a sack full of kittens," he said. He kicked the second bag and it barked. "Aww, it's a sack full of puppies," he said. He kicked the third one and it didn't do anything. He kicked it again and it didn't do anything. He was about to kick it again when the blonde popped out of it and said, "I can't act like potatoes if you keep kicking me, duh!"
+10,000 Jokes