ID: 12044
Blond
A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Who lands first?
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The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
ID: 8428
Blond
Why did the blond have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs!
ID: 11484
Blond
There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, "Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?" She replied with, "I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does shrivel, I can heat it up in my vagina when you got back."
The husband ran out looking for berries. When he came back she asked, "What took you so long?"
He then said, "Can we fuck now or what?"
She said as long as you're not frost bit."
So they went up to their room and started kissing furiously; the next thing he knew, she was giving him the greatest head he had ever gotten. Then he laid her down on the bed and the heat of his breath on her thighs made her moan. Then they started making love furiously, all of a sudden someone bursts through the door and said, "Honey, why are you fucking my twin?" she was speechless.
The husband's twin then replies, "I was just making sure she was good enough for you, and she passed."
p.s.
The husband and his twin are blonds.
ID: 10101
Blond
1 Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
2 What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
3 What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel?
An air bag.
4 Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
5 Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.
ID: 11275
Blond
Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but I'm still at 1!!!"
"Well, what trick did you play?" Said Kurt.
Megan said, "I know that multiplication makes numbers bigger than addition does, so instead of pushing 1 + 1 =, =, =, =, ..., I pushed 1 x 1 = = = = =..."
ID: 7715
Blond
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire?''
ID: 10030
Blond
1 How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
2 What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
3 Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route.
4 Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
No smoking.
5 How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
6 Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
7 How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
8 Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
9 Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
ID: 7682
Blond
Two friends went to the mall to go shopping; one was a brunette and the other was blonde.
As they were shopping, the blonde suddenly said: "That girl could pass as my twin."
The brunette starts laughing. The blonde says: "What is so funny?" The brunette says, "That was a mirror."
ID: 9074
Blond
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.
+10,000 Jokes