ID: 11901
Blond
There were three blondes stranded on an island.
They were left with one bottle of water, so the decided to have thirds of the bottle.
The next day, the bottle is lying empty next to one blonde,
and the other two blondes say, "Why'd you drink all the water?" and the blonde says, "But my third was at the bottom."
ID: 4411
Blond
Q:What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
A:Nothing, they haven't met yet.
ID: 935
Blond
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party.
On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away.
Who got to the party first?
The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!
ID: 945
Blond
A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The blonde kept doing this, until the man behind her became impatient. "Excuse me, can I just get a drink, THEN you can continue whatever you're doing???" "No way!" exclaimed the blonde. "I'm not giving up this machine when I'm winning!"
ID: 589
Blond
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
Thank you for the refill.
ID: 1012
Blond
How do you get a blonde to laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday!
ID: 1139
Blond
A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it isn't nice to keep bashing them in public.
The couple apologize and changes the topic.
A few minutes later the woman needs to go to the restroom, so she goes off, and she is followed by the blonde.
After 10 minutes the blonde comes out frusturated, and storms out the front door. The woman calmly comes out and sits down at her table.
The man asks what happened in there.
The woman replies, "Well, as I was washing my hands, the blonde came in and pulled a razor on me!"
The man replies, "Oh my god, what happened?"
The woman bursts out laughing, "Well, nothing, luckily she didn't find a place to plug it in!"
ID: 139
Blond
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the mechanic.
The mechanic, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have some fun.
So he told her all she had to do was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
ID: 1188
Blond
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth, and in the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father?"
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