ID: 142
Blond
What do you call the skeleton of a blonde you find in a closet?
1950's Hide-n-seek champion.
ID: 7495
Blond
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all get together once a week to talk about the problems they are having with their daughters, and get input from the other two moms. So, the brunette decided to open the meeting.
"I found a pack of cigarettes on my daughter's nightstand the other night. What am I going to do?"
The moms told her to talk to her daughter and tell her it was wrong, and to never do it again.
The redhead said that she had recently found a 12 pack of beer in her daughter's closet. The moms told her to talk to her daughter, tell her it was wrong, and never to do it again.
When it was the blonde mom's turn she said:
"I found a box of condoms on my daughter's dresser the other day."
All the moms are in shock. But the blonde gets up and says, "No no, the worst part is that I didn't even know she had one of those."
ID: 11780
Blond
There were three women that had just escaped from jail, one was a brunette, one was a red-head, and one was a blonde. They were running through the woods and the police and their dogs were chasing after them. The women ran into three empty potato sacks. They decided to hide.
A policeman found the sacks and decided to give the first one a kick. It meowed. "Aww, it's a sack full of kittens," he said. He kicked the second bag and it barked. "Aww, it's a sack full of puppies," he said. He kicked the third one and it didn't do anything. He kicked it again and it didn't do anything. He was about to kick it again when the blonde popped out of it and said, "I can't act like potatoes if you keep kicking me, duh!"
ID: 8755
Blond
When a guy asked a blond to take a survey, she asked, "Do I have to bring it back?"
ID: 7031
Blond
My wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said "Oh, honey, there's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
ID: 9508
Blond
One day someone knocks on a blonde's door.
She asks: "Who is it?" and the person answers: "It's me!"
Then the blonde wonders, "Me?!?!?!"
ID: 8081
Blond
The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods, hunting together when suddenly a beautiful blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude!
"Would I love to eat that?" "Oui, oui!" The Frenchman said, smacking his lips.
So the Italian shot her.
ID: 7955
Blond
Fred was getting out of his car to go to an electronics store and had his dog in the car with him. "Stay," said Fred.
A blond was witnessing all this and said to Fred, "Would it just be easier to put it in park?"
ID: 10880
Blond
One time, when there was a hope for mankind, some blonds appeared in front of a judge. The judge said, "You can either have world peace or keep your cellular phones and get electrocuted."
So the blond takes out her cellular phone and the judge says; "What are you doing?" and she simply says; "Im phoning a friend."
Now I'm not sure what happened after that because no one saw this blond ever again!
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