ID: 11876
Blond
Godzilla, King Kong, and a smart blonde are all on the Empire State Building. Who jumps first?
None. Because none of them exist!
ID: 10704
Blond
Blonds are so dumb. I'm lucky my hair is yellow.
ID: 7643
Blond
A young blonde stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later, and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her, and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?" "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to do that?"
ID: 8766
Blond
A blonde and a brunette are hanging from a pole to see who can hang the longest. The blonde is showing off by hanging from one hand. The brunette says, "I bet you can't do no hands."
The blonde takes the challenge and loses the contest.
ID: 11640
Blond
Q: How does a blonde moon walk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
ID: 11275
Blond
Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but I'm still at 1!!!"
"Well, what trick did you play?" Said Kurt.
Megan said, "I know that multiplication makes numbers bigger than addition does, so instead of pushing 1 + 1 =, =, =, =, ..., I pushed 1 x 1 = = = = =..."
ID: 7682
Blond
Two friends went to the mall to go shopping; one was a brunette and the other was blonde.
As they were shopping, the blonde suddenly said: "That girl could pass as my twin."
The brunette starts laughing. The blonde says: "What is so funny?" The brunette says, "That was a mirror."
ID: 8424
Blond
What does a blonde and a screendoor have in common?
The harder you bang them the looser they get.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Get dressed and go home
ID: 148
Blond
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will be her response?
"Is it mine?"
+10,000 Jokes