ID: 8191
Blond
A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.
ID: 1275
Blond
The beautiful, vain blonde was visiting Las Vegas for the first time. She approached the roulette wheel, but it looked very confusing.
"How should I bet?" she asked the man standing beside her.
"Try betting your age," he suggested.
So the blonde put $500 on the number 32. The ball landed on 36, and the blonde promptly fainted.
ID: 1658
Blond
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."
"Wrong!" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"
The third blonde smiles confidently and says to St. Peter, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.
The third blonde continues, "Every February the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
ID: 3375
Blond
CNN gets news that 100 blonds are killed in a
train accident at Marylebone station. Only one blond
left alive.
The correspondent goes to her and asks, "Miss, how did it happen?"
Blond: "Oh don't ask about it. All were right as long
as all were waiting on the platform for the train. Then came the announcement that 'The bakerloo line will arrive on platform number 2' so when everyone heard that the train is coming on the platform, everyone ran to the rails to save their lives, and the train arrived on the rails!!!"
Correspondent: "Thank god you thought well and didn't go to the rails"
Blond: "Oh no, I was on the rails for committing
suicide and after the announcement I came to the
platform!"
ID: 4583
Blond
Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I'd be staying to see if they had a gym.
The hotel receptionist's sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered.
"We have over 300 guests at at this facility" she said. ÂÂ
"Does this 'Jim' have a last name?"
ID: 4839
Blond
A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil. After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant.
"Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"
"May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"
"Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!"
ID: 4061
Blond
3 blondes caught a goldfish, and the fish said if they let her go she will grant them one wish each. The first blonde said: "I want to be smart." The second said: "I want to be smarter than her," and the third said: "I want to be the smartest."
In the morning they woke up and the first blonde turned into a brunette, second black and the third one had become a man.
ID: 1096
Blond
Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.
ID: 1642
Blond
Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.
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