ID: 3480
Blond
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track."
"What sort of question would you ask Doctor?"
"Well, you might ask them..."
"Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?"
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?"
"I must confess I don't know much about history."
ID: 13424
Blond
So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they were running from the police but all they could find was a barn. They were in a hurry to hide so the brunette hid in the horse's stable, the redhead hid in a tree, and the blonde hid behind a few boxes of oranges. When the policemen came to the barn, they went to the horses stable and the policeman heard something.
"Wait!" he said. "I hear breathing!"
But the brunette went, "Neigh! Neigh!"
"Oh, it's just a horse," the policeman said. Then he walked around and came upon a tree and heard breathing.
"Stop!" he said. "I hear breathing in the tree!"
"Caww! Caww!" went the redhead.
"Oh,it's just a bird," said the policeman. Next, the policemen came upon a barn with a stack of boxes of oranges.
"Wait!" Said the policeman. "I hear breathing!"
Then the blonde said "I'm an orange! I'm an orange!"
ID: 7734
Blond
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
ID: 6834
Blond
Why did the blonde bring sandpaper to the desert?
She needed a map.
Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert?
If it got hot she could roll the window down.
How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?
It was getting hot so I turned the ceiling fan off.
What is the latest health epidemic among blondes?
MAIDS. If they don't get one they die.
Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She didn't want to get hearing AIDS.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell; She's got a grenade in her mouth.
Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because on the box it said from two to four years.
How do you know if a blonde e-mails you?
There's a computer in the mailbox.
How do you know if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
How do you know if a second blonde has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white out.
How do you know if a third blonde has been using the computer?
There's cheese in front of the mouse.
What do you call brunette hair dye?
A1)Artificial Intelligence. A2)Birth control
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Siamese twins.
What do you call a blonde in a sauna?
A hot air balloon.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
ID: 7610
Blond
A blonde goes on vacation to New York and wants to take a tour.
She goes to ask about the tours and says, "So, where can I catch the bus for the walking tour?"
ID: 8969
Blond
Once there was a blond, a red head, and a brunette. They had to tell a joke in order not to go to hell.
So the red head goes first:
"What do you call a boy going to jail?
A Micheal Jackson lover."
(not that funny) So she goes to hell.
Then the burnette says:
"What's the difference between your mama and the blond's mama?
The blond's has a bigger chance on giving it up
and yours doesn't need any."
(not that funny either) So, she goes to hell as well.
Finally, the blond says:
"Knock-knock!
Who's there?
God
God who?
Godzilla!" (not that funny)
But, the blond gets in! Why?
Because, she used God and didn't notice it.
ID: 2009
Blond
On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
ID: 10701
Blond
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." "Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"
ID: 1937
Blond
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave!
+10,000 Jokes