ID: 1188
Blond
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth, and in the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father?"
ID: 1678
Blond
Q. Why do blondes wear panties?
A. To keep their ankles warm!!
ID: 1087
Blond
A Blonde is getting on an elevator and meets a gentleman on
board.
"T.G.I.F." she says.
"S.H.I.T" was his reply.
Puzzled she replied "T.G.I.F"
The gentleman was getting a little disturbed the the remark, so
he says again. "S.H.I.T.".
The Blonde leans over and whispers "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY".
The gentleman responses with "SORRY, HONEY IT'S THURSDAY".
ID: 7786
Blond
A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
ID: 984
Blond
A trucker has just turned a corner on a deserted roadway and was proceeding to change lanes when a blonde in a speedy corvette cut right in front of him almost making him get run off the road. Enraged the trucker sped up and overtook the blonde then forced her to slow down. When the blonde finally stopped the trucker stepped out of his truck, went over the to corvette and yanked the blonde out.
He then drew a circle with a piece of chalk he had around the blonde.
"If you step outside of this circle, I will kill you. You hear? You just stay right there missy," said the Trucker.
The trucker went to his truck and grabbed a wooden bat. He smashed the corvettes windows in and knocked off the rear-view mirror. Then he stops and hears a tiny giggle. He turns around and the blonde is trying not to laugh.
He turns back to work and stabs the tires with his swiss army knife, then smashes in the car windows. Then he hears a snicker from behind him. He turns around and the blonde is red from trying to hold in a laugh. Getting angry the trucker proceeds to smash the taillights, and dent the hell out of the cars body. Wanting to completely obliterate the car, he went into his semi-truck and ran over the car crushing it into a flattened piece of metal.
As he gets out to admire his demolition work, he sees the blonde on the ground laughing like a madwoman and rolling around holding her sides.
He goes and grabs the blonde by her hair and yells in her face, "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU FOOL??"
The blonde tries to put on a straight face and says, "While you were looking away, I stepped out of the circle 3 TIMES!"
ID: 615
Blond
Why do blondes hate making Kool-aid?
They can't fit the 8 cups of water in the
envelope!
ID: 1139
Blond
A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it isn't nice to keep bashing them in public.
The couple apologize and changes the topic.
A few minutes later the woman needs to go to the restroom, so she goes off, and she is followed by the blonde.
After 10 minutes the blonde comes out frusturated, and storms out the front door. The woman calmly comes out and sits down at her table.
The man asks what happened in there.
The woman replies, "Well, as I was washing my hands, the blonde came in and pulled a razor on me!"
The man replies, "Oh my god, what happened?"
The woman bursts out laughing, "Well, nothing, luckily she didn't find a place to plug it in!"
ID: 795
Blond
A smart blonde (no, that's not the joke) goes into a bank in New York and asks if she can take out a loan of $1000. The banker, not trusting the woman, asks her for collateral. The woman decides she'll give the man her brand new BMW for collateral until she can pay the man back. The banker, thinking that she's such a dumb blonde she's willing to put a car worth a ton of money up for a measly $1000, jumps on the deal, so he takes the car and gives her the money.
2 months later, the blonde comes back with a briefcase and opens it up before the banker. Inside is the $1000 neatly placed inside. The banker is amazed but responds, "Um, you forgot the interest. It'll be $50."
The blonde quietly takes out her purse and pulls out a crisp new $50 bill. The teller also caught a quick glance at the inside of her purse and noticed numerous amounts of $50s, $100s and even a $1000 bill.
The banker replies, "Wow, did that $1000 dollars I lent you help you make all that?"
The woman replies, "No, sir. I've always had this much money. I'm extremely wealthy."
The banker says, "Well, now I understand how you could afford the BMW, but if you're so wealthy how come you borrowed $1000?"
The blonde replies, "Well, where else could I find parking in New York for my car for only $50 for 2 months?"
ID: 355
Blond
How do a blond's braincells die?
Alone.
+10,000 Jokes