ID: 11780
Blond
There were three women that had just escaped from jail, one was a brunette, one was a red-head, and one was a blonde. They were running through the woods and the police and their dogs were chasing after them. The women ran into three empty potato sacks. They decided to hide.
A policeman found the sacks and decided to give the first one a kick. It meowed. "Aww, it's a sack full of kittens," he said. He kicked the second bag and it barked. "Aww, it's a sack full of puppies," he said. He kicked the third one and it didn't do anything. He kicked it again and it didn't do anything. He was about to kick it again when the blonde popped out of it and said, "I can't act like potatoes if you keep kicking me, duh!"
ID: 8187
Blond
Q) What does a blond say when she comes out of a lesbian bar?
A) Wow, those people sure were friendly!
ID: 8072
Blond
3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.
ID: 8674
Blond
Did you hear the one about the blond Think Tank?
Once they got it got started, it drove through three houses and a convienence store before they figured out how to stop it.
ID: 7461
Blond
A blonde laughs at a joke 3 times.
When the joke is told,
When the joke is explained,
And 5 days later, when she gets it.
ID: 10701
Blond
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. When she arrives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape into the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static." "Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" The blonde replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"
ID: 7696
Blond
Can you tell if this lady is blonde?
After placing an order in the drive-thru, the lady came on the speaker and asked: "Is that for here, or to go?"
ID: 12940
Blond
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were on the run from a cop after stealing from a shop. They decided to hide in some trees.
The cop passes by the trees, and he knocks the tree that the redhead was in. She said "squawk, squawk, squawk". So the cop said "Oh, it's just a bird". Then he knocks the tree that the brunette was in. She made noises like a squirrel, so the cop said "Oh, it's just a squirrel". Then the cop goes and knocks the tree the blonde was in and she said "moo, moo, moo". The cop got alerted and so the 3 of them was on the run again.
This time, the decide to hide in some bags. The cop comes by and kicks the bag the redhead was in, and she said "meow, meow, meow". So the cop said "Oh, it's just a cat". Then he kicks the bag the brunette was in. She said "woof, woof, woof", so the cop said "Oh, it's just a dog". Then the cop goes and kicks the bag that the blonde was in, and the blonde goes "potato, potato, potato". The cop got alerted so yet again because of the blonde's stupidity they are on the run again.
Alas, they get tired and stop. They get caught by the cop. He calls reinforcements. They all face prosecution. The cops cocked their guns and asked the redhead "Any last words?", and she points behind the copssays "LOOK! TSUNAMI!". When the cops turned around, she runs away. The cops turn back, feeling slightly foolish. Now they ask the brunette "Any last words?", and she points behind them and says "LOOK! TORNADO!". And since these were very stupid cops, they fell for the same trick twice. Exasperated, they turn back at the blonde and they ask "Any last words?", and she says "LOOK! FIRE".
ID: 16292
Blond
BLONDE #1: I found some jokes about us blondes online. They're inaccurate! They make us look-
BLONDE #2:Ugly?
BLONDE #3:Fat?
BLONDE #4:Lazy?
BLONDE #5:Mean?
BLONDE #1:No, stupidly funny.
+10,000 Jokes