ID: 15805
Blond
One day, a blond put an advert in the library to start a marching band. 20 other blonds saw this advert and signed up. At their first destination they played "Oh, when the saints". At their second destination they played the same song. At their third destination they played the same song yet again! When they arrived at their fourth destination a member of the crowd butted in and kicked one of the drummers.
The blond that started the group said, "Why did you do that?" The guy replied "Well, you've killed all of the people in the world because your band is rubbish but loud, so pretty much all the people are saints and they're marching into heaven, so stop playing!"
The blond replied "We were playing? I thought we were being serious about this band!"
ID: 6658
Blond
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
ID: 8424
Blond
What does a blonde and a screendoor have in common?
The harder you bang them the looser they get.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What is the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Get dressed and go home
ID: 8020
Blond
A blonde was at a department store for the first time and was very confused.
The man beside her was getting irritated at the blonde because she kept asking him so many questions about the store.
He said, "Please! Just stop asking me so many questions!"
"Oh," the blonde replied. "Why?"
ID: 7735
Blond
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
A: No need for them to worry about blowing their brains out.
ID: 8219
Blond
There's a man with three daughters.
The first daughter(a Brunette) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Daisy" the dad says" 'cause when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
The second daughter (a red-head) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Rose" the dad says "'cause when you were born a rose fell on your head."
The third daughter (a blonde) comes up and says "kjaglifvgjlfj" the dad says "SHUTUP CINDERBLOCK"
ID: 8072
Blond
3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.
ID: 8430
Blond
One blond to another: "The electicity break down was terrible. I was stuck in the lift for 2 hours."
The other blond: "That's nothing, I stood on the elevator for 6 hours!!!
ID: 9841
Blond
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
Why did the blonde die in the helecopter crash?
She got cold so she turned off the fan!
How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She got ran over by the zamboni machine!
( Zambonis make the ice on skating rinks)
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!
A blonde was taking a walk outside when a bird flew over her in the sky. When it suddenly dropped a load on her. What did she say?
Good thing my mouth was open or it would've hit me in the face!
+10,000 Jokes