ID: 10031
Blond
1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
2 A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
3 A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer popped out of the machine. She set it on the ground, put sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
4 A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true or false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall and stares at the question paper for five minutes. Then, in a fit of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
5 A blonde decides to try to learn horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
ID: 8109
Blond
Q. How do you keep a blond from whistling while she is skydiving?
A. Make sure she wears underwear.
ID: 8755
Blond
When a guy asked a blond to take a survey, she asked, "Do I have to bring it back?"
ID: 5270
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all go to a bar.
The redhead walks up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a BL." So the bartender gives her a Bud Light.
The brunette walks up next and says,"I'll have an ML." So the bartender gives her a Miller Light.
The blonde is catchingon so she goes up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a 15."
The bartender thinks about it, looks around, and says,"Ok, you stumped me. What's a 15?"
The blonde goes,"Duh! 7 and 7."
ID: 3655
Blond
Two blondes were starting a round of golf together. On the first tee, the first blonde smacked a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. With a smile, she picked up the tee and walked to the cart.
The second blonde cranked another good drive down the center of the fairway. Pleased, she hopped in the cart.
When they arrived at the golf balls, they noticed that they were ten yards apart.
"That's mine up there," said the first blonde, pointing to the ball closer to the green.
"No way, I outdrove you easily," said the second blonde. Before you know it, fists were flying.
After a brief scuffle, the second blonde stopped and said, "I know how we can solve this problem!"
"How?"
"We will get the clubhouse pro out here!"
Sure enough, they drove back to the clubhouse and got him and dragged him out to the fairway.
Studying the situation for a few minutes the pro finally said, "I know how to solve this!"
"How?"
"Yeah, how?"
Replied the pro, "Who is hitting the yellow ball?"
ID: 8922
Blond
There was once a blonde who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of her. She decided to do something about it. She sat back and thought about it.
Suddenly she thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of brunettes. So, if I start talking and behaving like them and dye my hair brown, no one will be able to make out that I am a blonde and make fun of me."
She went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, she walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."
Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a blonde?" The blonde was taken aback and she repeated her request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a blonde or not?"
This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so she admitted to the fact after which she asked, "But how did you know?"
The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"
ID: 8903
Blond
What to a blonde is long and hard?
4th Grade
ID: 3907
Blond
Q: Why did the blond crash her helicopter?
A: Because she was cold and decided to turn off the ceiling fan!
ID: 11876
Blond
Godzilla, King Kong, and a smart blonde are all on the Empire State Building. Who jumps first?
None. Because none of them exist!
+10,000 Jokes