ID: 1662
Blond
A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. "That's a nice flock of sheep." she said.
"Well thank you." said the herder.
"Tell you what, I have a proposition for you." said the ex-blonde.
"Okay," replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.
"Sure," said the sheep herder. So the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."
"Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you."
"What is it?" asked the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
ID: 16512
Blond
A Blonde walks into an electronic store. A saleswoman goes up to him and introduces a washing machine.
Saleswoman: Sir, this machine in gurantee to do half of all your laundry.
Blonde: That's nice, I'll take two.
ID: 3554
Blond
There were three babys - a blond, a redhead, and a brunet. They were fighting over who's mommy had the best bra.
The first baby says "My mom has a foam bra."
The second says "My mom has gel straps."
The blond baby says "Well, the tag on my moms bra says double D."
The blond won the fight.
ID: 4426
Blond
Blondes are like pool tables - every time you put a dollar in, she'll rack your balls.
ID: 146
Blond
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The man says "No."
The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown. She goes back to the store and asks again, only to again be told again, "No."
She goes home dies her hair black, and returns yet again. She asks for the TV, and is told "No, go home you blonde!"
So she finally snaps and cries, "I've died my hair twice!How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"
The salesman replies, "That's a microwave."
ID: 4411
Blond
Q:What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
A:Nothing, they haven't met yet.
ID: 426
Blond
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
ID: 1917
Blond
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
ID: 2307
Blond
A blond got a new job cutting down trees. On the first day her boss handed her a chainsaw and said,
"Now you have to go into that forest and cut down as many trees as possible using that chain saw. Please be careful with it and also please remember that the minimum is 6 trees a day."
The blonde went into the forest and cut down trees but at the end of the day she had only managed to cut down 4.
Her boss decided to give another chance but the next day she only managed 3. He decided to give her one last chance but on the third day she only cut two trees.
When she finished work, he called the blond over and took her back into the forest.
"Right,"he said,"You must be doing something wrong here so watch how I do it, then I'll give you one more chance before you're fired.
So he stood in front of the tree and started up the chainsaw. The blond looked around suddenly and said,
"What's that noise?"
+10,000 Jokes