ID: 4059
Blond
A man is passing a blonde and he says, "Where are those legs going?" and the blonde answers, "They are going home for now unless something comes between them."
ID: 15749
Blond
A redhead, brunette and a blonde went to the doctor. As they sat in the waiting room, the redhead got bored and went to the small fishbowl in the middle of the room where a goldfish swam around happily.
The redhead stared at the goldfish and the fish also stared back. After 1 minute, the redhead tilted her head to the left and the fish swam in that direction. She tilted her head to the right and the fish also swam to the right.
The brunette saw this trick, was impressed and asked the redhead how she did it. "Easy", replied the redhead. "It's just mind over matter."
So the brunette stared at the fish and the fish also stared back. After 3 minutes, the brunette tilted her head to the left and the fish swam in that direction. She tilted her head to the right and the fish also swam to the right.
The blonde, seeing this trick, was also impressed and asked the brunette how she did it. "Easy", replied the brunette. "It's just mind over matter."
So, the blonde stared at the fish and the fish also stared back. One minute... Three minutes... Five minutes... After five minutes, the blonde began to open and close her mouth repeatedly.
ID: 1401
Blond
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says,"I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."
"She'll read it very slow."
ID: 1139
Blond
A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it isn't nice to keep bashing them in public.
The couple apologize and changes the topic.
A few minutes later the woman needs to go to the restroom, so she goes off, and she is followed by the blonde.
After 10 minutes the blonde comes out frusturated, and storms out the front door. The woman calmly comes out and sits down at her table.
The man asks what happened in there.
The woman replies, "Well, as I was washing my hands, the blonde came in and pulled a razor on me!"
The man replies, "Oh my god, what happened?"
The woman bursts out laughing, "Well, nothing, luckily she didn't find a place to plug it in!"
ID: 12268
Blond
A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.
As they're driving home, they're really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The girlfriend says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didnt catch any more!"
ID: 10074
Blond
1 What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.
2 I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
3 Did you hear about the blonde who
was M.D. (mentallY deficient)
4 Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
5 What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
ID: 809
Blond
What do you get when you breed a blonde and a New York gangster?
A juvenile deliquent who spray paints chain link fences.
ID: 666
Blond
There are 99 Blonds on a plane and 1 Brunette. The captain radios in that they are going down, So they drop all the luggage. They were still going down so they drop out all the chairs. They were still going down so they dropped the floor. So they are hanging by their hands from the top on the plane with no floor. So the captain say's "1 person jump out" the Brunette say's "I'll sacrifice my life", and all the Blonds start clapping.
ID: 10076
Blond
1 Why did God create brunettes?
So ugly men wouldn't feel left out
2 Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
It doesn't show the dirt
3 Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their mustache.
4 What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.
5 What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
Gay, married, or a hostage.
+10,000 Jokes