ID: 1699
Blond
One day, a blonde and a brunette were talking on the phone. Then the brunette says, " I have to go get a new mouse for the computer. My mouse isn't running good." Since the blonde hates mice. she goes over to her computer and opens it up, looking for a running mouse. She runs back to the phone and says, " But my computer works fine without a mouse"; but since she took so long looking for the mouse, her friend hung up and the phone battery was dying out so it sounded like a squeeky assuming and it was the mouse she searched her whole house finding not one mouse. Then she calls her brunette on the phone saying I can't find one mouse in my house what does it look like? After she finished describing it the blonde finds it, then she squishes it saying, " There, it is dead! "
ID: 1968
Blond
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says ''Look at that dog with one eye!''
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ''Where?''
ID: 1838
Blond
All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?" Tommy said, "A cow eating grass." "Ok, where's the grass?" "The cow ate it all." "Ok, where's the cow?" "He went to go look for more grass."
ID: 13436
Blond
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly, to his horror, there was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over - so now we're going to Sea World.....
ID: 1679
Blond
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Fourth grade.
ID: 2443
Blond
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No honey, it's because you're 24."
ID: 2235
Blond
A blonde walked into a library and said to the librarian, "Can I have some fish and chips please?"
The librarian gave her a funny look and said, " I'm sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers,"Can I have some fish and chips please?"
ID: 4041
Blond
What does a blonde have on her when she is naked?
A working uniform.
ID: 2169
Blond
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They have spelt MACY'S wrong!"
+10,000 Jokes