ID: 9764
Blond
A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!"
ID: 142
Blond
What do you call the skeleton of a blonde you find in a closet?
1950's Hide-n-seek champion.
ID: 425
Blond
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all the states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M."
ID: 152
Blond
A blonde went into a local salon for a haircut. She was wearing a pair of headphones and she refused to take them off. The hairdresser tried to slip them off to cut her hair but the blonde just screamed "NO, DONT DO IT!"
In a few minutes the blonde fell asleep from all the thinking she had to do to pick out a hairstyle. The hairdresser takes off the headphones and in a few minutes the blonde dies.
The hairdresser, shocked, then hears the headphones. It was repeating the words "Inhale... exhale.... inhale..... exhale...."
ID: 542
Blond
1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
2. Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
4. Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
A2: By doing the splits.
6. Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A: An IN-body experience!
15. A: Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school?
She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymen lick Maneuver.
16. Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
17. Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
ID: 10401
Blond
Blond College Exam
HINT: this is an exam
1.Spell yes
2.spell no
3. what is 0-0 ANSWER:0
4. answer yes to this question
5. are you human
6. what did you answer #4 HINT: #=number
7. what number is this
8. is this an exam a):yes b);yes
9. spell your name
10. leave this one blank
11. write an aswser
12. check your email
13. repeat
14.eat.
15. turn in paper
REQUIREMENTS:Do #15 all others might be wrong
IF YOU MET THE REQUIREMENTS, YOU NOW HAVE A SCHOLARSHIP TO HARVORD FOR (4) BLONDS
ANSWERS
1. yes
2. no
3. 0
4. yes
5. yes
6. yes
7. 7
8. circle
9. sexy
10.
11. 9
12 he likes me
13. he doesn't
14. eggs
15.
15.
15.HEY BLONDY GO DIE
NOTE: noone has ever passed test
ID: 176
Blond
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
ID: 249
Blond
A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her.
She yells, "THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS AND NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!"
The librarian stares at her, then calmly replies, "So you're the one who took our phone book."
ID: 196
Blond
One day a blonde came home from work early and when she walked into her house, she saw her husband in bed with another woman. She pulls her gun out of her purse and points it to her head. Her husband screams, "NO DON'T DO IT! I'm sorry!"
To which the blonde replies "SHUT UP! You're next!"
+10,000 Jokes