ID: 18004
Blond
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes andquickly
departed...
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
ID: 146
Blond
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The man says "No."
The blonde, assuming its because he hates blondes, goes home and dyes her hair brown. She goes back to the store and asks again, only to again be told again, "No."
She goes home dies her hair black, and returns yet again. She asks for the TV, and is told "No, go home you blonde!"
So she finally snaps and cries, "I've died my hair twice!How the hell do you know I'm blonde?"
The salesman replies, "That's a microwave."
ID: 350
Blond
Why are the blonde's boobs square?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
ID: 152
Blond
A blonde went into a local salon for a haircut. She was wearing a pair of headphones and she refused to take them off. The hairdresser tried to slip them off to cut her hair but the blonde just screamed "NO, DONT DO IT!"
In a few minutes the blonde fell asleep from all the thinking she had to do to pick out a hairstyle. The hairdresser takes off the headphones and in a few minutes the blonde dies.
The hairdresser, shocked, then hears the headphones. It was repeating the words "Inhale... exhale.... inhale..... exhale...."
ID: 1087
Blond
A Blonde is getting on an elevator and meets a gentleman on
board.
"T.G.I.F." she says.
"S.H.I.T" was his reply.
Puzzled she replied "T.G.I.F"
The gentleman was getting a little disturbed the the remark, so
he says again. "S.H.I.T.".
The Blonde leans over and whispers "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY".
The gentleman responses with "SORRY, HONEY IT'S THURSDAY".
ID: 795
Blond
A smart blonde (no, that's not the joke) goes into a bank in New York and asks if she can take out a loan of $1000. The banker, not trusting the woman, asks her for collateral. The woman decides she'll give the man her brand new BMW for collateral until she can pay the man back. The banker, thinking that she's such a dumb blonde she's willing to put a car worth a ton of money up for a measly $1000, jumps on the deal, so he takes the car and gives her the money.
2 months later, the blonde comes back with a briefcase and opens it up before the banker. Inside is the $1000 neatly placed inside. The banker is amazed but responds, "Um, you forgot the interest. It'll be $50."
The blonde quietly takes out her purse and pulls out a crisp new $50 bill. The teller also caught a quick glance at the inside of her purse and noticed numerous amounts of $50s, $100s and even a $1000 bill.
The banker replies, "Wow, did that $1000 dollars I lent you help you make all that?"
The woman replies, "No, sir. I've always had this much money. I'm extremely wealthy."
The banker says, "Well, now I understand how you could afford the BMW, but if you're so wealthy how come you borrowed $1000?"
The blonde replies, "Well, where else could I find parking in New York for my car for only $50 for 2 months?"
ID: 872
Blond
What two things in the air can make a blonde pregnant?
Her Legs
ID: 5022
Blond
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"
ID: 3482
Blond
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes:
"Parking for drive-through customers only!"
+10,000 Jokes