ID: 12419
Blond
A blonde (let's call her Blonde #1) and her twin sister (let's call her Blonde #2) were celebrating the twin's birthday and Blonde#2 gave Blonde#1 a present.
Blonde#1: "Oh, thank you so much! When's your birthday? I have to start planning what to get you!"
ID: 15818
Blond
The university's gymnasium hallway displayed basketball team pictures from the past forty years.
In every photo, one player, sitting front row center, held a basketball identifying the year of the team: 94-95, 95-96, 96-97, 97-98, etc.
One day, a senior on the basketball team noticed a cute, blonde freshman cheerleader staring curiously at the photos. The senior, hoping to score a few points off the court, commented about the team's history.
Impressed, the cute, blonde freshman cheerleader said: "Isn't it amazing how the teams always won by just one point?"
ID: 14876
Blond
An office technician got a call from a blonde. The blonde told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
ID: 14371
Blond
Blond's Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that while sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but we were unable to trace it. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I can't sleep as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, so, I suggest you provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when you are going to give me my money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are you are coming to my home to collect your money.
9. My child learnen how to use, 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when will you provide that?
ID: 8261
Blond
Mrs. Blondie, do swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, god?
Yes I do.
------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Mrs. Blondie did you ever stay all night with this man in California?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Michigan?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
ID: 9959
Blond
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''
ID: 11484
Blond
There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, "Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?" She replied with, "I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does shrivel, I can heat it up in my vagina when you got back."
The husband ran out looking for berries. When he came back she asked, "What took you so long?"
He then said, "Can we fuck now or what?"
She said as long as you're not frost bit."
So they went up to their room and started kissing furiously; the next thing he knew, she was giving him the greatest head he had ever gotten. Then he laid her down on the bed and the heat of his breath on her thighs made her moan. Then they started making love furiously, all of a sudden someone bursts through the door and said, "Honey, why are you fucking my twin?" she was speechless.
The husband's twin then replies, "I was just making sure she was good enough for you, and she passed."
p.s.
The husband and his twin are blonds.
ID: 14480
Blond
How can you tell the difference between a blonde and a red head?
Hair color.
ID: 13584
Blond
A blonde bought a new car that has a computer which can fix the car when anything happens.
So she went and blew the engine and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed.
Then she broke the window and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed.
Then she said to herself "It's time for the ultimate test," and she jumped from the bridge and the computer said, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen."
+10,000 Jokes