ID: 15231
Blond
A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby.
The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repair, but she could figure out the infant's weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"Oh, that will never work!" groaned the blonde. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt!"
ID: 7050
Blond
A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.
ID: 11369
Blond
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
ID: 7786
Blond
A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
ID: 9074
Blond
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.
ID: 10030
Blond
1 How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
2 What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
3 Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route.
4 Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
No smoking.
5 How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
6 Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
7 How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
8 Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
9 Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
ID: 6784
Blond
What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
ID: 7194
Blond
A blond is in math class. The teacher says, "We are going to be learning about pi (3.14) today. Does anyone know what that is?" The blond says "I do. I made a cherry one this morning."
ID: 7731
Blond
How do blonde brain cells die?
Unused...
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