ID: 5338
Blond
"Somebody complimented on my driving today," a blonde told her friend, "I found a note on my windshield that said'Parking Fine'."
ID: 17993
Blond
How do you kill a dumb blonde? Put something shiny on the bottom of a pool.
ID: 7971
Blond
Why did the blond make a square pie?
Because Pi(r) squared!
ID: 11366
Blond
"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
ID: 6938
Blond
It was Arbor Day, and a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all planted something.
The redhead planted flowers in her front yard.
The brunette planted a tree in her back yard.
The blonde didn't know what to plant, so she asked the redhead.
"Plant something that looks good," she said.
The blonde still didn't know what to plant, so she asked the brunette.
"Plant something you want more of," she said.
The blonde finally knew what to plant. The next day,her husband was declared a missing person.
ID: 9935
Blond
1 Why did the blonde cross the road?
She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken.
2 Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on
3 What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ?
Data transfer.
4 What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
ID: 9583
Blond
I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it's somewhat similar to something that happened in the show).
A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs.
Teacher: "So what would you say your IQ is?" she asks a student
Kid #1: "I don't know.. I think it's just the regular 100."
Teacher: "He, he, alright, you?" she asks another student.
Kid #2: "Umm... well... I took a test and it's 118."
Teacher: "Ah, you're pretty smart, then."
The teacher then realizes that someone is not paying attention.
Teacher: "What IQ do you think you have, young lady?"
The blonde jolts up a little due to the surprise.
Blonde: "My IQ?"
Teacher: "Yes."
The blonde then grins arrogantly, "Heh, my IQ is, I would say, probably like an A right now... what is that? Like a 4.0?"
ID: 7613
Blond
A blonde boards a flight going to New York and sits in first class. A flight attendant asks to see her ticket. It's a coach ticket. The flight attendant politely asks her to move. "I can do what eva I want! I'm a blonde." says the blonde. The flight attendant tells one of the other flight attendants that the blonde won't move. The second flight attendant walks up to the blonde and says something to her and the blonde goes to coach. "What did you say to her?" asks the first flight attendant. "I told her that first class wasnt going to New York, only coach is."
ID: 9870
Blond
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finally, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'not guilty' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
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