ID: 14632
Blond
Why did the blonde dance in front of the traffic light?
Because she thought she was in a disco.
ID: 7598
Blond
One day a blond and a redhead were talking on the phone.
Blonde:My doctor told me I have to lose about ten pounds.
Redhead:Oh really? Do you know what you going to do?
Blonde: No not at all... hey you lost wieght recently. How did you do it?
Redhead: I used the special K diet
blonde:Whats that?
Redhead:Well you eat a bowl of special K for lunch and one for breakfast and have a sensable dinner each day. I lost 5 pounds in a week
Blonde: Okay thanks!
a week later the blonde calls back her friend
Redhead: How did it work?
blonde:Not well at all i gained 5 pounds
redhead: Really did you follow my intructions exactly?
blonde: Well no but i had to lose double the wieght
Redhead: Well what did you do?
blonde: Well i figured that if 1 bowl for both breakfast and lunch was good for 5 pounds then two bowls for both breakfast and lunch would be good for ten.
ID: 6834
Blond
Why did the blonde bring sandpaper to the desert?
She needed a map.
Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert?
If it got hot she could roll the window down.
How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?
It was getting hot so I turned the ceiling fan off.
What is the latest health epidemic among blondes?
MAIDS. If they don't get one they die.
Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She didn't want to get hearing AIDS.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell; She's got a grenade in her mouth.
Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because on the box it said from two to four years.
How do you know if a blonde e-mails you?
There's a computer in the mailbox.
How do you know if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
How do you know if a second blonde has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white out.
How do you know if a third blonde has been using the computer?
There's cheese in front of the mouse.
What do you call brunette hair dye?
A1)Artificial Intelligence. A2)Birth control
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Siamese twins.
What do you call a blonde in a sauna?
A hot air balloon.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
ID: 7461
Blond
A blonde laughs at a joke 3 times.
When the joke is told,
When the joke is explained,
And 5 days later, when she gets it.
ID: 9870
Blond
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finally, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'not guilty' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
ID: 6649
Blond
Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school?
A: They are the only ones who erase their
notebook when the teacher erases the board.
ID: 6741
Blond
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.
The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."
So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"
And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
ID: 7733
Blond
How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
ID: 10193
Blond
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.
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