ID: 11275
Blond
Kurt and Megan (a blonde) were bored in math class and one day when they decided to play "The Calculator Game". I'm sure many people reading this remember it - it's the one where you enter "1 + 1 =" into your calculator and continue pressing the "=" sign. The goal is to see who can get to the highest number while the math teacher is talking. Bring back any memories? Anyways, Kurt and Megan waited until the teacher started talking, and the contest was on! Fingers were pushing the "=" sign like mad. A hour and a half later, Kurt and Megan compared results. Kurt showed his number: 5,318,008. Megan said, "I don't get it. I was feeling so clever and I thought I'd play a trick on you, but I'm still at 1!!!"
"Well, what trick did you play?" Said Kurt.
Megan said, "I know that multiplication makes numbers bigger than addition does, so instead of pushing 1 + 1 =, =, =, =, ..., I pushed 1 x 1 = = = = =..."
ID: 4063
Blond
Have you heard about the blonde that started writing a diary of all her thoughts?
Yes, after 3 years she is on the second page now.
ID: 2314
Blond
How many blondes does it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
three:
one to unscrew it
one to buy a new lightbulb
one to call her boyfriend to screw it back in.
ID: 3358
Blond
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief.
"Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."
ID: 144
Blond
What's a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut?
She's trying to hold onto a thought.
ID: 10493
Blond
1. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
2. What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"
3. What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?
Artifical Stupidity
4. What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.
5. Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
They've already spent their money on thigh and butt implants.
ID: 11716
Blond
A blonde had twin girls - she called them Kate and Duplicate.
Then she had twin boys - she called them Pete and Repeat.
ID: 1699
Blond
One day, a blonde and a brunette were talking on the phone. Then the brunette says, " I have to go get a new mouse for the computer. My mouse isn't running good." Since the blonde hates mice. she goes over to her computer and opens it up, looking for a running mouse. She runs back to the phone and says, " But my computer works fine without a mouse"; but since she took so long looking for the mouse, her friend hung up and the phone battery was dying out so it sounded like a squeeky assuming and it was the mouse she searched her whole house finding not one mouse. Then she calls her brunette on the phone saying I can't find one mouse in my house what does it look like? After she finished describing it the blonde finds it, then she squishes it saying, " There, it is dead! "
ID: 2798
Blond
An agitated patron calls on to the blond waiter and inquired why there was a footprint on his meal.
"Well," the innocent-looking blond waiter replied. "You rushed in here, ordered an omelette and asked me to step on it."
+10,000 Jokes