ID: 5365
Blond
One weekend, a couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow! Please move your car to the even numbered side of the street so that the street sweepers can come through!"
So the wife goes out and moves her car.
The next weekend, the couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow! Please move your car to the odd numbered side of the street so that the street sweepers can come through!"
So the wife goes out and moves her car.
The next weekend, the couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow! Please move your car to the-"
And suddenly the power went out. The wife said to her husband, "I didn't hear which side of the street to move the car to. Do you know which side of the street I should move the car to?"
And her husband said to her nicely, as all husbands do so to blond wives, "Honey, why don't you leave the car in the garage this time?"
ID: 9764
Blond
A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.
"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.
"Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."
"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!"
ID: 933
Blond
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
ID: 410
Blond
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?" So she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry she said to herself, "Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?" She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, "Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!" She knocked on the table. "Was that the front door or the back door?"
ID: 153
Blond
How do you tell a blondes been using your computer?
There's whiteout on the screen
ID: 41
Blond
How can you tell if a blonde woman has been dating?
By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.
ID: 350
Blond
Why are the blonde's boobs square?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
ID: 432
Blond
There's a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken.
The first day the blonde paints 5.4 miles of road, the brunette paints 6 miles of road.
The second day the blonde paints 4.1 miles of road, the brunette paints 6.7 miles of road.
The third day the blonde paints 2.9 miles of road, the brunette paints 6.9 miles of road.
Worried about the blonde, the supervisor goes to the blonde and asks why she is painting less and less road each day.
She replies, "The bucket just keeps getting further and further away."
ID: 584
Blond
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
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