ID: 8905
Blond
1) How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it!
2) How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a cliff!
3) How does a blonde lose 5 pounds?
She takes off her make up!
4) Why does a blonde wash her hair in the sink?
Because thats where you wash vegetables!
5) What did the blonde think of her new computer?
She couldn't get channel 9!
ID: 11106
Blond
A blond in a mathematics test encountered this problem
Find X
This was her answer
i
i \
i \
14.6578i \
i \ X________ Here it is
i \
i \
i \
i \
i_________\
12.76
ID: 9870
Blond
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finally, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'not guilty' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
ID: 7786
Blond
A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
ID: 11642
Blond
A blonde, brunette, and redhead all go into a building to take an emergency course. After a few minutes of introductions, the instructor of the course starts to talk about fire.
"Wherever you see a fire, you need to call 911, imediately." After an hour or so of the lecture, the brunette makes an excuse to get out of there, by saying she needs a drink. 2 minutes later she comes running back in, with fire fighters behind her, and she yells, "There's a fire!"
They all run out, and after a few minutes the fire fighters come back out, and say, "We can not find a fire." The blonde suddenly screams out "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" she gestures towards the redhead, "THE FIRE IS ON HER HEAD."
ID: 8201
Blond
A blond and her friends went to a bank to rob it. The blond's job was to get the code for the vault they wanted to rob. Finally, the blond came back to the vault and began punching in numbers. Each time she typed in a number it beeped a different sound. A friend asked, "Do you know the code?"
The blond said, "No, but listen." She made a whole bunch of beeps then said, "It's the funky town music!"
ID: 8191
Blond
A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.
ID: 13424
Blond
So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they were running from the police but all they could find was a barn. They were in a hurry to hide so the brunette hid in the horse's stable, the redhead hid in a tree, and the blonde hid behind a few boxes of oranges. When the policemen came to the barn, they went to the horses stable and the policeman heard something.
"Wait!" he said. "I hear breathing!"
But the brunette went, "Neigh! Neigh!"
"Oh, it's just a horse," the policeman said. Then he walked around and came upon a tree and heard breathing.
"Stop!" he said. "I hear breathing in the tree!"
"Caww! Caww!" went the redhead.
"Oh,it's just a bird," said the policeman. Next, the policemen came upon a barn with a stack of boxes of oranges.
"Wait!" Said the policeman. "I hear breathing!"
Then the blonde said "I'm an orange! I'm an orange!"
ID: 8203
Blond
Q.) What does a blond think a leprechaun is?
A.) An elf. But she only sees it when it's near the holidays and has drunk an Irish drink. Even though her parents keep telling her they aren't real...
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