ID: 167
Blond
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight game. Then they went on the roller coaster, and afterwards the boy said, "What do you want to do next?"
The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond again, and she weighed the same, so he took her home.
When she got home, she flumped on the couch and her mother said, "How was the date?"
The blond said, "Weewy Weewy Wousy."
ID: 4426
Blond
Blondes are like pool tables - every time you put a dollar in, she'll rack your balls.
ID: 1188
Blond
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth, and in the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father?"
ID: 540
Blond
Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
-It doesn't show the dirt
Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
-Fisher-Price.
Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
-The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.
Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
-It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
-It matches their mustache.
Why is the color brunette considered evil?
-When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?
How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
-Check her for a pulse.
What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
-A brunette rabbit
What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
-"What part of 'yes' do you not understand?"
Why did God create brunettes?
-So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.
What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
-The invitation.
Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
-From their underarms.
What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
-Gay, married, or a hostage.
How did Revlon come up with its brunette hair color?
-By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.
Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
-Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.
How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
-Startled.
ID: 7696
Blond
Can you tell if this lady is blonde?
After placing an order in the drive-thru, the lady came on the speaker and asked: "Is that for here, or to go?"
ID: 3465
Blond
This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. "It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at blonde in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your tail!"
ID: 5149
Blond
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captaind asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb"!!
ID: 1764
Blond
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in a red ferari speeding down a country road being chased by a squad car.
They try to lose him by darting into a forest behind a farm.
The trio ditch the car and decide to each hide in three burlap sacs on the ground.
The cop who was really close on their tail went up to each sac.
The cop kicked the first sac and the brunette inside said;
"Woof woof"
"Oh it's just a dog."
Then he kicked the second sac,
Inside that sack the redhead said;
"Meow Meow"
"Oh, it's just a kitten.
Then the cop went up to the third sac with the blonde inside and kicked it
The blonde said
"Potato potato"
ID: 4972
Blond
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, a cell phone for their first anniversary.
Susie was excited about the phone and the next day, while shopping, it rang and to her surprise, it was her husband.
"Hi, Susie," he said. "How do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand ..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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