ID: 14170
Blond
Why did the blond cross the road?
I don't know.
Neither did he.
ID: 4815
Blond
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around!
Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.
Guess I must have won that silly argument!
ID: 140
Blond
On a nightly stroll a blonde came across an office building. A sign said, "Press bell for Watchman." She presses it and hears an old man coming down the stairs. He turns on the light, unlocks the gate, and shuts off the security system. When he asked what the blonde wanted, she replied, "Why can't you press that button for yourself?"
ID: 4056
Blond
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a tortoise?
A: The blond is better on her back than the tortoise.
ID: 1663
Blond
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus; the blonde team rides on the top level..
The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles..
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
ID: 3101
Blond
A blonde buys a box of laundry detergent, and it says on the box, "20 uses".
A day later, the blonde calls the laundry detergent company and says, "I bought your product and the box says '20 uses', but all it does is my laundry!"
ID: 4109
Blond
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend asked, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."
ID: 426
Blond
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10, 000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10, 000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
ID: 5252
Blond
Have you heard about the new blonde paint? It's not too bright but it spreads real easy.
+10,000 Jokes