BAR

ID: 347

Bar

Wives

There are three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and
uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

ID: 348

Bar

Hotdog

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

ID: 2375

Bar

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered...

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

ID: 323

Bar

Betting

A man walks up to the bartender in a bar and says, "I bet you twenty dollars I can pee into that cup over there." He points to a cup over the bar about 4 feet away. The bartender says sure, positive that the man can't do it and he's about to make 20 bucks. Sure enough, the man ends up peeing all over the bar, anywhere but in the cup. The bartender, laughing, collects twenty dollars. The man is still smiling. Curious, the bartender asks, "You just lost your bet. Why are you smiling?"

"Well," said the man, "I just bet that man over there that I could pee all over your bar and you wouldn't do anything but laugh."

ID: 837

Bar

Nun Bashing

A really really drunk man stumbled out of a local bar and right into the nun. Quickly the man punched the nun right in the face. Stunned the nun tried to run away, but the drunk just ran after her and pushed her to the ground. The drunk then proceeded to kick the nun repeatedly until the nun was begging for mercy.
The drunk leans down and looks at the nun and says, "Not so tough now, eh Batman?"

ID: 9

Bar

Into the Bar

There's this dyslexic guy... he walked into a bra...

ID: 5

Bar

Guy in a Bar

So, this guy walks into a bar.

And says, "ouch".

ID: 1115

Bar

Poor Guy

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks, "What happened?"

The guy replies, "I just found out my younger brother is gay." He finish's his shots and leaves.

The next day he comes back and orders five shots and the bartender asks, " What happened this time?"

The man replies, "I just found out my older brother is gay and I always looked up to him." The man finish's his shots and leaves.

The next day he comes back and orders twelve shots. The bartender says, "Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man replies, " Yea, my mom."

ID: 461

Bar

Yogurt

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

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