ID: 16034
Bar
Waiter, this plate is wet.
That's your soup, sir.
ID: 17598
Bar
A Frenchman, a German and a Jew walk into a bar. "I'm tired and thirsty," says the Frenchman. "I must have wine." "I'm tired and thirsty," says the German. "I must have beer." "I'm tired and thirsty," says the Jew. "I must have diabetes."
ID: 17917
Bar
A guy walks into a bar right at the top of the Grand Canyon. Another patron comes up to him and says "did you know the air currents in the canyon are so strong you can jump off and they pull you right back up?"
"What?!" the man said "you must be drunk." "No really, watch this!" and he jumps into the Grand Canyon, and WHOOSH! flies back up.
"That was amazing!" the second man said so the first guy does it again. Finally the second guy decides it really does work and goes for it. He jumps off and splatters on the ground.
The first guy returns to the bar and the bartender says
"Damn, Superman, you sure are a jerk when you're drunk."
ID: 15096
Bar
A man stumbles into his house after a night of drinking and is greeted by his very angry wife.
"What's the big idea of coming home half drunk?" she yells.
"I'm sorry, honey, but I ran out of money," he mutters.
ID: 14898
Bar
A poor man walks into a bar. Another man sat down 2 feet away from him, and pulled out a wad of $50s from his wallet. The poor man got an idea. He tells the rich man,
"I have a special talent. I bet you all the money in your wallet I can sing a song with any woman's name in it."
The rich man laughed. "Alright. How about my wife's name, Joanne Skyler Thomas?"
What does the poor man sing?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Answer: "Happy Birthday" It's a real song, and can have anyone's name in it. The poor man walks away rich. The rich man walks away poor.
ID: 9573
Bar
A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend.
She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says "Go get a beer." She says she didn't want one. Then the friend says "Hey, who said it was for you?"
copyright fox corp.
ID: 7506
Bar
A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling
on the corner. The bum says, "Mister, can you
spare a dollar?"
The man thinks about the question for a bit and
asks the bum, "If I give you a dollar, are you
going to use it to buy liquor?"
"No", says the bum.
The man then asks the bum, "If I give you a
dollar are you going to use it to gamble?"
"No", says the bum.
So the man says to the bum, "Do you mind coming
home with me so I can show my wife what happens
to someone who doesn't drink or gamble?"
ID: 10910
Bar
A huge black man entered in a bar with a huge and colorful parrot on his shoulder. The bartender was amazed, so he asked "Where did you get that thing?"
Then the parrot said, "Well they're walking all over Africa..."
ID: 16988
Bar
There were three men at a bar. One of them ducked and the other two fell down because they hit the bar.
+10,000 Jokes