BAR

ID: 5

Bar

Guy in a Bar

So, this guy walks into a bar.

And says, "ouch".

ID: 11948

Bar

Ouch!

So, Michael Jackson walks into a bar.
Oh, that looked like it hurt! It must have knocked his nose off!

ID: 9527

Bar

Three Politicians

Three senators were sitting at the bar and having drinks with each other. The democrat started a conversation of were they liked their wives to be positioned during sex, the democrat said that he likes his wife on top, so he can see all of her. The republican said, "No no no I like my wife on the bottom, she needs to know who the one with the control and dominance is." The independent blurted out, "I prefer my wife out of town."

ID: 16988

Bar

DUCK!

There were three men at a bar. One of them ducked and the other two fell down because they hit the bar.

ID: 15305

Bar

AHeavy Tipper

A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.

Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."

ID: 15154

Bar

Four Ladies Walked Into the Bar...

The Blonde walked into a bar. The Brunette used the door. The redhead actually OPENED the door, and the Asian actually WENT THROUGH the door.

ID: 18162

Bar

Screwing Up A Business

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy, the barman replied "Yes."

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"

"Certainly sir,"replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy. "Four cents", he replies.

"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the Guy who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

ID: 15096

Bar

Half Drunk

A man stumbles into his house after a night of drinking and is greeted by his very angry wife.

"What's the big idea of coming home half drunk?" she yells.

"I'm sorry, honey, but I ran out of money," he mutters.

ID: 17502

Bar

A Cup of Coffee

Guest: "A cup of coffee, please!"
Waiter: "Turkish or filtered?"
Guest: "Why, filtered, of course."
Waiter: "Then you'll have to bring your own filter paper for now."

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