ID: 6209
At Work
I studied and studied and came up with a conclusion
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.
AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
ID: 11714
At Work
Albert Einstein was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again at different meetings, so one night, after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said, "I've heard your speech so many times, I know it word for word! Why don't you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this evening?" Einstein agreed.
When they arrived at the venue, Einstein put on the chauffeur's uniform and hat, and sat at the back of the hall while the chauffeur took his place on the podium, effortlessly delivering the speech, then inviting the audience to ask questions.
He convincingly answered the first few, but then one pompous man stood up and asked a very difficult question on his theories of relativity.
The chauffeur was flummoxed, but calmly said, "Why, that question is so very easy, I will let my chauffeur answer it!"
ID: 17143
At Work
A waitress at a restaurant that David worked at had a change of clothes stolen from the break room. To make matters worse, she'd planned on wearing them to the Christmas party.
As a brand-new employee, David knew none of this backstory, so you can imagine his surprise when the found a note on the employees' community board saying:
"It has been two weeks since the Christmas party, and I still have not found my clothes."
ID: 15038
At Work
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she's not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What in the hell is anal glaucoma?" he inquires.
"Well, I just can't see my ass coming to work today."
ID: 15266
At Work
Two detectives were investigating a scene, The victims had their hands and head cut off. "It's going to be a nightmare identifying the bodies, with no finger prints or faces" said one. The other replied, "I thought it would be rather easy, how many people do you know walking around with no head or hands?"
ID: 16031
At Work
A woman called an auto parts store and asked for a 28-ounce water pump.
"What?" asked the confused parts guy.
She said, "My husband says he needs a 28-ounce water pump."
"A 28-ounce water pump? What kind of car does it fit?" asked the parts guy.
"A Datsun," replied the woman.
As the parts guy wrote down her request, a light went on in his head.
"Oh, yes, ma'am. We've got 28-ounce water pumps," he said. "We also have 24-ounce and 26-ounce pumps." "Finally," she said. "You're the first place I've called that knew what I was talking about."
"Yes ma'am," said parts guy, smiling, as he jotted down "Datsun 280Z water pump..."
ID: 16388
At Work
Because Lexus created the park it your self car many Mexicans lost their jobs.
ID: 11028
At Work
A Director said to the actress: "You have to jump from 100 feet into a swimming pool."
Actress: "But I dont know how to swim."
Director: "I know, that's why I removed all the water from the swimming pool."
ID: 17682
At Work
Dad to his family: The phone bill is exceptionally high. You have to limit its use. I don't use this telephone. I use the one a the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this phone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home telephone. I always use my company mobile.
Maid: So what's the problem? We all use our work telephones!
+10,000 Jokes