ID: 784
Animal
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
A: To the moovies
ID: 12239
Animal
Q: Why did the little girls put minnows in their pants?
A: So they could smell like big girls.
ID: 16226
Animal
Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President."
Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. So, now what do you think?"
The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."
ID: 2
Animal
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?
Utter destruction.
ID: 70
Animal
Two cows were standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
ID: 5352
Animal
A man phoned up an exclusive escort agency and asked for a woman.
"No problem," said the receptionist.
"There's just one thing," said the man,"she has to be 6' 6" tall and weigh 48lbs."
"Mmm,let me see --yes we can do that for you, but it will be expensive," said the receptionist.
"That's o.k," said the man.
"When do you want her?".
"Tomorrow night at 7pm," said the man.
The next night the doorbell rings and a painfully thin 6' 6" black woman is standing on his doorstep.
"Come in, take off all your clothes and go down on all fours," said the man.
She complies with his request.
He opens the kitchen door and a scrawny black labrador emerges.
The woman thinks, "Oh shit, what have I let myself in for?"
The man points at his dog and says, "Now that's what you'll look like if you don't eat all your dog food."
ID: 16525
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
P
E
T
S
Step up!
ID: 14580
Animal
Why does a dog have fur?
'Cause if he didn't he'd be a little "bare"!
ID: 9625
Animal
HORSE RACE Line up:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
AT THE FINISH:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly shows...
Thighs weakens...
Heavy Bosom pulls up..
And Clean Sheets never had a chance.
+10,000 Jokes