ID: 17835
Animal
Part 1
One day, Doraemon was walking down street. He saw Hello Kitty approaching him. Excited by the encounter, he walked towards Hello Kitty and said, "Good morning".
Sadly, Hello Kitty did not reply him. Why?
Answer: Hello Kitty has no mouth.
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Part 2
Unhappy that she broke Doraemon's feelings, Hello Kitty decided to bring along a video recorder with the words "Good Morning" recorded by someone else. She saw Doraemon crossing the street, so she approached him and pressed the button: "Good morning".
This time, Doraemon did not reply her. Why?
Answer: Doraemon has no ears.
ID: 15339
Animal
A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."
ID: 1119
Animal
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad we're penguins, doesn't it?"
ID: 14577
Animal
This is funny
ID: 2762
Animal
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!!!
ID: 11223
Animal
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
ID: 1384
Animal
Simon the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Simon in tears.
"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed.
"Why?" gasped Simon.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."
Simon was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Simon the crab strode in.
The lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.
Slowly, Simon the crab made his way across the floor, and all could see that he was walking, not sideways, but FORWARDS; yes FORWARDS, one claw after another!
Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he looked the King Lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush for quite a while.
Finally, the crab spoke - "Bugger, I'm pissed."
ID: 12975
Animal
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A licalottapus!
ID: 11765
Animal
A man walks into a bar and notices that there is a game of poker taking place at a table in the corner of the room.
To his amazement, one of the players is a German Shepherd, studying his hand intently.
He asks the barman, "Is that dog actually playing poker?"
"He certainly is, sir," replies the barman.
"I am amazed," said the man.
"Oh, it's quite true, every night, the same group comes in here and they all play poker."
"Does the dog win much?" asks the man.
"No, he's terrible, every time he gets a good hand, his tail starts to wag!"
+10,000 Jokes