ANIMAL

ID: 16808

Animal

The Fallen Sign

I was traveling from Chesterton to Newcastle recently when I came across a sign which had fallen off its post at the crossroads. It was marked to Newcastle, Chesterton, Knutton and Silverdale. Unfortunately I didn't know which road to take to Newcastle and had hoped the sign would help. Luckily, I had a great idea which helped me put the sign back up pointing correctly to Newcastle. What was my idea?








I simply pointed Chesterton back the way I had come and this left the sign in its correct orientation.

ID: 11305

Animal

Fish

What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?

Dam!

ID: 8215

Animal

A Cat's Tail

Where do cats go to find their tail?



The retail store.

ID: 7028

Animal

Ppp

aaaaa

ID: 9119

Animal

Clean/dirty

Want to know a dirty joke?

A white horse falls into a mud puddle.

Wanna know a clean joke?

The horse takes a shower.

ID: 4930

Animal

Grizzly Fish

What do you get when you cross a fish and a grizzly?

A Bearacuda.

ID: 4993

Animal

A Local Business was Looking For Office Help...

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."

ID: 9352

Animal

Just Like Me

This is a joke to do to a very gullible person. You start off by telling that person to say "Just like me", whenever you say something. You then start:
"I went to my house"
Just like me.
"And walked through the door"
just like me
"and up the stairs"
just like me
"and then I walked down the hall"
just like me
"and opened the door to my room"
just like me
" And then I heard a noise"
just like me
" and I looked out my window"
just like me
"And saw a monkey that looked"
just like me

ID: 6145

Animal

The Animal Loan

Q: What do you call it, when a bison gets a loan?
A: A Buffa-loan!

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