ID: 8097
Animal
How do you catch an elephant?
Dig a hole, put peanuts around it, fill it with ashes and when the elephant goes to eat the peanuts, kick him in the ash hole.
ID: 1835
Animal
A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves.
The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, "Look up the word 'panda' in the dictionary."
The owner did so and it read, "Panadas are black and white animals. They eat shoots and leaves."
ID: 1842
Animal
1. Q: What would you do if a cheetah charged you?
A: Pay him cash. (But don't worry. He accepts credit cards too.)
2. Q: Who went into the tiger's lair and came out alive?
A: The tiger.
3. Q: If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped off, how many are still on the boat?
A: None- they were all copy cats.
4: Q: What has four legs and two eyes but sees just as well from both ends?
A: A tiger with its eyes closed.
ID: 17687
Animal
Why does a duck cross the street?
Because it was the chicken's and turkey's day off.
ID: 70
Animal
Two cows were standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
ID: 679
Animal
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doin?" his mother asked; "you can't eat them if the seal is broken."
The boy explained, "I'm looking for the seal."
ID: 78
Animal
What do you call a blind deer?
No idea (no eye deer.)
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no idea! (not moving [still] no eye deer)
ID: 2033
Animal
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
ID: 4406
Animal
If there are 12 cats on a fence and 1 cat jumps off, how many are left?
None, they're all copycats!
+10,000 Jokes