ANIMAL

ID: 11763

Animal

Cross-eyed Dog

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
He says, "My dog's cross-eyed, can you do something for him?"
"Let's have a look at him," says the vet, as he picks up the
dog, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth.
"I'm going to have to put him down," he finally says.
"What?" says the man, "just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," replies the vet, "because he's really heavy!"

ID: 14939

Animal

Dalmatian Puppy

Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom?





'Cause he's already been spotted!

ID: 16495

Animal

DO WN

What is represented by this?

DO WN

Broken down!

ID: 15501

Animal

THE DARN CAT

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.
He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.

The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn't notice a train coming down the tracks.

As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned his head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated.

The moral of the story — don't lose your head over a piece of tail!

ID: 16525

Animal

PETS

Can You Decipher This Phrase?

P
E
T
S

Step up!

ID: 13035

Animal

Elephant Quiz

Question: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Answer: Elephino
(Hell-if-I-know)

ID: 16048

Animal

SMOKE G

Can you decipher this phrase?

SMOKE
G

Go up in smoke!

ID: 15704

Animal

Adoptosaurus

There was a quirky breed of dinosaur called an "Adoptosaurus". Adoptosauruses laid eggs and often times forgot where they laid them or whose eggs were who's. Basically, they "adopted" the eggs they found and claimed them as their own.

Adoptosauruses didn't eat meat because it wasn't apart of their dino-religion. They thought eating meat made dinosaurs fat and have wrinkly skin. Adoptosauruses ate flowers because they thought it made them smell good. They thought they were the best of all the dinosaurs.

Maybe they went extinct so fast because their babies got hungry and ate each other, or the T-rexes found them and ate them, or maybe they were just stupid dinosaurs that adopted their own eggs.

ID: 14677

Animal

Imagination

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."

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