ID: 10503
Animal
Q: What do you call an arctic animal shaped like a tooth?
A: A molar bear!
ID: 10395
Animal
Once I like bought a fox and I like named him Jorge and like he died and I cried so I bought shoes.
ID: 649
Animal
One day Little Red Riding Hood was walking in the woods. She put her head between some bushes and suddenly she sees the wolf with his eyes wide open and red.
She asks him, "Why are your eyes so big, wolf?"
The wolf answers, "Shut up and let me shit in peace!"
ID: 3242
Animal
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a German shepperd. The shopkeeper, replies that it will cost him $500. The man thinks for a minute, then asks how much a beware of dog sign costs. The shopkeeper calmly replies that it costs a whopping $1.98. The man thinks for a while longer, and asks for a beware of dog sign.
ID: 9402
Animal
Q.What did one sheep call the other sheep who stole his food?
A. a ba-a-astard
ID: 10778
Animal
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!". The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 4 legs - jumps 2 feet'.
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 3 legs - jumps 1.5 feet'.
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: 'Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot'.
He continues and removes yet another leg. " Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: 'Frog with one leg - jumps 0.5 feet'.
Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and tells it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!". The frog doesn't move. "Jump frog, jump!!!". Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!". But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book: 'Frog with no legs - goes deaf'
ID: 1120
Animal
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
ID: 13578
Animal
Why do cats raise their tails when you stroke their backs?
To let you know you've reached the end of the cat.
ID: 2019
Animal
Where does Superman's goldfish live ?
In the superbowl....
+10,000 Jokes