ID: 14214
Animal
Santa:Oye, you know once, when I was very young, I jumped from the 20th floor of a building.
Banta: Then what happened? Did you survived or die?
Santa replied: "Oye, I forgot, that was years ago".
ID: 11391
Animal
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
ID: 10595
Animal
Why did the french dog look in the toilet?
Wee wee
ID: 15516
Animal
There was a man and a woman and they lived on a farm. They owned two horses, but they could not tell the difference between them!
One day, the man painted a yellow stripe on the tail of one of the horses. When winter came, and the yellow had washed out from all the rain, the man and woman were left to stand there next to each other, staring at the horses.
After two minutes of staring, the woman finally said, "I've got it! The black horse is taller than the white horse!"
ID: 8200
Animal
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter - he won't come, anyway.
ID: 8307
Animal
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: Because the chicken had the day off!
ID: 6222
Animal
It was spring in the old west.
The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails, looking for cattle that survived the winter.
As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared, and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."
The cowboy decided to take a chance; he knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.
He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted...
"Oh My God... I was riding the MARE!
ID: 16677
Animal
Can you decipher the following common phrase?
AND
ED
Underhanded!
ID: 17835
Animal
Part 1
One day, Doraemon was walking down street. He saw Hello Kitty approaching him. Excited by the encounter, he walked towards Hello Kitty and said, "Good morning".
Sadly, Hello Kitty did not reply him. Why?
Answer: Hello Kitty has no mouth.
------------------------------------
Part 2
Unhappy that she broke Doraemon's feelings, Hello Kitty decided to bring along a video recorder with the words "Good Morning" recorded by someone else. She saw Doraemon crossing the street, so she approached him and pressed the button: "Good morning".
This time, Doraemon did not reply her. Why?
Answer: Doraemon has no ears.
+10,000 Jokes