ID: 6173
Animal
A city slicker decided to buy himself a pig, so he drove to the country until he saw a sign that said "PIGS FOR SALE".
Turning into the driveway, he spotted the farmer, told him what he wanted, and they agreed on a price. They went to the barn where the farmer picked up a pig by the tail with his teeth. "Yup, that there swine weighs 74 pounds."
Noticing the man's bewilderment, the farmer explained that it was a family trait, passed on through generations, to be able to precisely weigh pigs in that manner. The city slicker, however, insisted on a second opinion. So the farmer called his son over and the boy came up with the same result. The man was ready to buy the pig on the spot, but the farmer said to go on up to the house and pay his wife. The man could then bring the receipt back to the farmer and take the pig. After a long wait, the city slicker finally returned, but without a receipt.
"What's the problem, son?" asked the farmer.
"I went up there like you said," said the man, "And your wife was too busy."
"Busy doing what?"
"Well, don't quote me on this," he warned, "But I think she was weighing the milkman."
ID: 12800
Animal
Have you ever seen Moth Balls?
You have!!!
How did you get their teeny, tiny and poor little legs apart?
Ya fiend!
ID: 17537
Animal
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: Their color.
ID: 16502
Animal
Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway?
Forrest: I don't know.
Jenny: Take the 'r' out of 'free'. Now, take the 'f' out of 'way'.
Forrest: There's no 'f' in way!
ID: 17377
Animal
If a fly can fly, can an elephant elephant?
ID: 16273
Animal
Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth, with Tom even keeping a log of the "conversation."
Just as Tom thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication, his wife had a chat with next-door neighbour's wife.
"My husband spends his nights . . . calling out to owls," said Mrs. Rowe.
"That's odd," Mrs. Hollis replied. "So does my John."
Then it dawned on them.
ID: 16542
Animal
What is a chicken's favorite type of joke?
The human who crossed the road!!!
ID: 17336
Animal
What does PPSH-41 stand for?
It is:Perfectly and Painfully and Stubborn Hallucination for(4) one(1)
ID: 17522
Animal
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.
+10,000 Jokes