ID: 17545
Animal
Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.
ID: 11697
Animal
Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it.
We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!
ID: 13850
Animal
You mom's soooo stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
ID: 11659
Animal
"Look at the speed of that plane!" said one hawk to another, as a jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.
"Hmph!" snorted the other, "You too would fly fast if your tail was on fire!"
ID: 12673
Animal
A man.
ID: 6222
Animal
It was spring in the old west.
The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails, looking for cattle that survived the winter.
As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared, and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."
The cowboy decided to take a chance; he knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.
He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted...
"Oh My God... I was riding the MARE!
ID: 12566
Animal
Q: What happens when you pour boiling water on a bunny?
A: A hot cross-buniken!
ID: 937
Animal
A local psychic hotline opened up a new number especially for frogs, called "The Psychic Frog-line." A frog called, wanting to know his future.
"You will meet a beautiful young girl," predicted the psychic.
"This is great!" said the frog. "Where will I meet her? At a party? At the pond?"
"No," replied the psychic. "Next semester in a biology class."
ID: 9259
Animal
What kind of sneakers do chickens wear?
Re-bok-bok-bok-bok-bok.
+10,000 Jokes