ID: 15867
Animal
DON'T CHEAT!
Draw a pig. Yes, that's right.
On a blank piece of paper, draw a pig, then scroll down and read the interpretation of your pig!
Draw your pig first! And don't look at the next part until you are done! It won't be fun if you look first.
Now if you're done...start to scroll down.....
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE DAMN PIG!
ID: 9119
Animal
Want to know a dirty joke?
A white horse falls into a mud puddle.
Wanna know a clean joke?
The horse takes a shower.
ID: 8898
Animal
Why are llamas big and brown?
Beacause if they were small & grey, they would be mice.
ID: 10198
Animal
A kid is holding a conversation with a talking dog.
"Why do you poop in people's yards?" asks the little kid.
"We've learned to sit and we've learned to stay," said the dog. "We've learned to lay down, roll over, and play dead. People taught us the 'No' command, the 'Heel' command, and even the 'Shake Paws' command. But nobody ever thought to teach us the 'GET THE F*** OUT OF MY YAAAARD!!!!' command!
ID: 4387
Animal
There was once a very stupid parrot that could only say: "Who's there?"
So one fine evening, while its owner was out shopping, the gas delivery man arrived at the door. He pressed the door bell and waited for the door to be opened.
At that moment, the parrot said: "Who's there?"
The man then promptly replied: "Gas delivery man."
The parrot then spoke: "Who's there?"
The man then repeated himself again.
After several hours, the owner returned home. He was shocked to find a man outside his door, foaming in his mouth.
Puzzled, he said:" Who's that?" A voice from inside the house replied: "Gas delivery man."
ID: 11227
Animal
Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When its a grey hound.
ID: 6322
Animal
A man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears
"Ribbit, 9 iron"
The man looks around and doesn't see anybody. So he gets ready again, when he hears
"Ribbit 9 iron"
He looks at the frog, and decides to prove him wrong. He puts away his club, and gets a 9 iron.
He whacked that ball, and it landed 10 in. from the cup! He was shocked, and looked at the frog, "Wow, that was amazing" he said "You must be a lucky frog then."
"Ribbit, Lucky Frog"
The man takes the frog to the next hole. "What do you think?" he said.
"Ribbit, 3 wood"
The man takes out his 3 wood, and hit the ball. Hole in 1! He was befuddled, and didn't know what to say.
He took the frog to every hole, and he golfed his best game.
"OK," said the man "Where to next?"
"Ribbet, Las Vegas"
So off they went, to Las Vegas. When they arive, he asks, "Now what?"
"Ribbit, Roulette Wheel"
"What should I bet?"
"Ribbit, $3000, black 6"
After the luck at golfing, the man says, "What the hell."
Then, suddenly loads of cash came sliding across the table; he got it.
He takes his winnings and buys the best hotel room, and he, of course, brings the frog.
"Frog, you have won me all this money, and I do not know how to repay you."
"Ribbit, Kiss Me"
"Well, I guess..."
POOF........
The frog becomes a 10 year old boy. "And that, your honor, is how the boy got into my room. So help me God, if my name is not....
Michael Jackson"
ID: 7131
Animal
Dogs have masters, cats have staff.
ID: 9609
Animal
A class is on a field trip to the zoo. They are in the farm animal's section, and all of the sudden the entire class looks to their right and see 2 pigs going at it like it was the last day on Earth.
Boy: o.o umm... teacher, what are those pigs doing?
Teacher: O.O I don't think those are pigs...
+10,000 Jokes