ID: 4926
Animal
What do you call a horse that escaped from jail?
A Zebra.
ID: 18031
Animal
One time I was walking and I saw a deer then a turkey comes out and the turkey and deer interact by speaking in human words then all of a sudden a really bright light formed and the deer and turkey have fused to make a durkey a dear and turkey combined it has a head of a deer and the body of the turkey after that this was on the news and they said it could be seen from Africa(No permanent eye damage was reported)so then a passer by the next day(I was in that same area where the turkey and deer fused)took the durkey and that guy who ate it became that same turkey(The one the deer talked to before fusing)but the good ole friend the deer was gone that passer by became the turkey but the deer got eaten the normal way.This should keep you laughing for hours
ID: 16647
Animal
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
ID: 15167
Animal
A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting.
Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer's property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field but the Warden insisted he had the right, saying, "I'm the Game Warden and I have a card! This card allows me to go in." Before the farmer could stop him, the Warden was off into the field.
Soon, a horrifying scream pierced the air and the Warden, being chased by a massive bull, reappeared running for his life. "Help, help!" he cried.
The farmer shouted back, "Show him your card! Show him your card!"
ID: 12855
Animal
This story takes place in a very specific year. Somewhere in the future.
A year after Bush leaves office.
--------------------------------
Part 1. A Space mission
Place: In a rocket in space.
Notes: names such as Junior and Senior are just rankings on the shuttle.
--------------------------------
Senior: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JUNIOR?
Junior: Getting a donut.
Senior: Yeah, but look at which donut it is.
Junior: Chocolate with colorful sprinkles.
Senior: YEAH! ONLY SENIOR RANKINGS GET SPRINKLES!
Junior: Yeah! Wadaya gonna do?
Senior: DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU!
Piolot: Guys, we have a problem.
Junior: What is it?
Senior: Shut up, Junior, let a sopisticated Senior do this. What is the problem?
Piolot: I see a comet coming for us.
Senior: Sacrifice Junior.
Medical: Leave him alone!
Junior: Yeah! I have a name!
Medical: I'm sorry, I never caught your name.
Junior: For the seventh time it's Wally!
ID: 16525
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
P
E
T
S
Step up!
ID: 11812
Animal
There is a major difference between the way a dog thinks and the way a cat thinks.
A dog says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. You must be God."
A cat says, "You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. I must be God."
ID: 16046
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
DOG
THE
The underdog!
ID: 16490
Animal
What is represented by this?
WOWOLFOL
Wolf in sheep's clothing (wool)!
+10,000 Jokes