ID: 14903
Animal
Why was the fish expelled from school?
He was caught with seaweed!
ID: 15705
Animal
A T Rex named Farrell asked his mother if he could dress up in a tutu. His mother replied, "No! Boys don't wear tutus and dance on their tippie-toes!" Farrell yelled, "But mom!" and told his father.
His father said, "Son, I'm a balerina and I dance in a tutu." Then the mother fainted and fell on the floor.
So father and son danced around the unconscious mother in tutus. They had so much fun, and later had cookies and tea as a treat - and they used the mother as a table.
ID: 18172
Animal
What do you call a blind German?
A not see!
ID: 17529
Animal
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can't close the door.
ID: 14850
Animal
Why did the cow cross the street?
To get to the udder side!
ID: 14939
Animal
Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom?
'Cause he's already been spotted!
ID: 12171
Animal
A normally sweet Great Dane, Psil, has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.
While walking Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.
Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner, trying to ease the situation, said, "As you can see, he just loves UPS men."
"Don't you feed him anything else?" he responded.
ID: 17157
Animal
This guy at work argued with everybody that his pink oxford shirt was actually "salmon." Finally, human resources brought in a grizzly bear to settle the dispute.
ID: 16771
Animal
Yesterday my mother asked me to buy some stamps. Stamps, are available in 3p, 9p, 11p, 17p and 21p denominations. For three types of stamp I was asked to buy eight of each. For the other two types of stamp, I was asked to buy nine of each. Unfortunately I forgot which I was supposed to buy eight of and which to buy nine of. Luckily my mother had given me the exact money required to buy the stamps, £5.00 and the shopkeeper was able to give me the correct stamps. Which stamps did I buy?
Eight lots of 11p, 17p and 21p and nine lots of 3p and 9p. The shopkeeper rightly figured that I required eight lots of each of the stamps, which came to £4.88, he also knew I required two more stamps which added up to the difference. QED.
+10,000 Jokes