ID: 12635
Animal
A bear, a lion and a chicken were having a discussion as to which one of them scares humans the most.
"I only have to growl," said the bear, "and people start to get a bit nervous."
The lion said, "I just have to roar and people run away."
"That's nothing," replied the chicken. "I only have to sneeze and the whole world panics."
ID: 16632
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
BALLBBALLABALLSBALLKBALLEBALLTBALL
Basket Balls!
ID: 12032
Animal
Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top.
"What's in that box?" Mrs. Riddle asked.
"A cat," Mrs. Biddle answered.
"What for?"
"I've been dreaming about mice at night, and I'm scared of mice. The cat is to catch them."
"But the mice you dream about are imaginary," said Mrs. Riddle.
Mrs. Biddle turned to her friend and whispered, "So is the cat."
ID: 12437
Animal
After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.
"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.
"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."
ID: 16048
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
SMOKE
G
Go up in smoke!
ID: 15160
Animal
Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.
ID: 14599
Animal
A guy was walking around town with a frog growing out of his head. Another man walks up to him and ask him, "What happened to you?"
The frog answered, "Well, it started as a wart on my ass."
ID: 11763
Animal
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
He says, "My dog's cross-eyed, can you do something for him?"
"Let's have a look at him," says the vet, as he picks up the
dog, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth.
"I'm going to have to put him down," he finally says.
"What?" says the man, "just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," replies the vet, "because he's really heavy!"
ID: 14716
Animal
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900, so $900 is what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
+10,000 Jokes