ID: 10503
Animal
Q: What do you call an arctic animal shaped like a tooth?
A: A molar bear!
ID: 14269
Animal
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better!
ID: 16633
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
T T T
U I U
L P L
I T I
P O P
S E S
Tiptoe through the tulips!
ID: 11657
Animal
Man 1: "My budgie lays square eggs!"
Man 2: "Really! That's amazing! Can it talk as well?"
Man 1: "Yes, but only one word."
Man 2: "What's that?"
Man 1: "Ouch!"
ID: 6322
Animal
A man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears
"Ribbit, 9 iron"
The man looks around and doesn't see anybody. So he gets ready again, when he hears
"Ribbit 9 iron"
He looks at the frog, and decides to prove him wrong. He puts away his club, and gets a 9 iron.
He whacked that ball, and it landed 10 in. from the cup! He was shocked, and looked at the frog, "Wow, that was amazing" he said "You must be a lucky frog then."
"Ribbit, Lucky Frog"
The man takes the frog to the next hole. "What do you think?" he said.
"Ribbit, 3 wood"
The man takes out his 3 wood, and hit the ball. Hole in 1! He was befuddled, and didn't know what to say.
He took the frog to every hole, and he golfed his best game.
"OK," said the man "Where to next?"
"Ribbet, Las Vegas"
So off they went, to Las Vegas. When they arive, he asks, "Now what?"
"Ribbit, Roulette Wheel"
"What should I bet?"
"Ribbit, $3000, black 6"
After the luck at golfing, the man says, "What the hell."
Then, suddenly loads of cash came sliding across the table; he got it.
He takes his winnings and buys the best hotel room, and he, of course, brings the frog.
"Frog, you have won me all this money, and I do not know how to repay you."
"Ribbit, Kiss Me"
"Well, I guess..."
POOF........
The frog becomes a 10 year old boy. "And that, your honor, is how the boy got into my room. So help me God, if my name is not....
Michael Jackson"
ID: 1081
Animal
A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse's visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in
came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen.
"Don't panic," said the town mouse, "Leave this to me."
Marching up to the cat she said, "Bow wow wow wow! The cat turned and ran from the room.
"How did you do that?" asked the country mouse.
"Like I told you," said the town mouse, "it pays to learn a second language."
ID: 17533
Animal
Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse coming back from vacation.
ID: 16774
Animal
Recently, Snow White's seven dwarfs met up with three of their friends and went to the cinema to see Bambi. From the clues below, can you determine the order in which they stood in the ticket queue?
Grumpy was in front of Dopey. Stumpy was behind Sneezy and Doc. Doc was in front of Droopy and Happy. Sleepy was behind Stumpy, Smelly and Happy. Happy was in front of Sleepy, Smelly and Bashful. Bashful was behind Smelly, Droopy and Sleepy. Sneezy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was in front of Grumpy, Stumpy and Sneezy. Dopey was in front of Droopy. Sleepy was in front of Grumpy and Bashful. Dopey was behind Sneezy, Doc and Sleepy. Stumpy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was behind Doc.
Doc
Happy
Smelly
Sneezy
Stumpy
Sleepy
Grumpy
Dopey
Droopy
Bashful
ID: 6660
Animal
Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl?
A: He got pissed off.
+10,000 Jokes