ID: 4232
Animal
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the armadillo that it was possible.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Colonel Sanders!
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a double-crosser.
Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
To take over the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Chickens hadn't evolved yet.
ID: 16771
Animal
Yesterday my mother asked me to buy some stamps. Stamps, are available in 3p, 9p, 11p, 17p and 21p denominations. For three types of stamp I was asked to buy eight of each. For the other two types of stamp, I was asked to buy nine of each. Unfortunately I forgot which I was supposed to buy eight of and which to buy nine of. Luckily my mother had given me the exact money required to buy the stamps, £5.00 and the shopkeeper was able to give me the correct stamps. Which stamps did I buy?
Eight lots of 11p, 17p and 21p and nine lots of 3p and 9p. The shopkeeper rightly figured that I required eight lots of each of the stamps, which came to £4.88, he also knew I required two more stamps which added up to the difference. QED.
ID: 17697
Animal
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's feet.
ID: 6825
Animal
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.
So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.
The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."
The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a freaking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
ID: 8899
Animal
What is black & white an red all over?
A penguin holding its breath!
ID: 16496
Animal
What is represented by this?
Way
One Way!
ID: 11311
Animal
What did the fish say when he crashed into a wooden wall?
Beaver damn!
ID: 18049
Animal
Miley Cyrus shaves more often than Justin Bieber.
It seems he is using her older sisters in his videos.
Most of the Justin's concert are free because no one is willing to pay for it.
Police are now using Justin Bieber's songs as torture devices.
Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber.
Kim Kardashian received death threats from Justin Bieber fans after he jokingly tweeted that she was his girlfriend. One Justin Bieber fan tweeted that she will use her lunch money to hire a hit man.
Q. What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
A. One of them has balls and it ain't Bieber.
Justin Biebers new song is "if i were a boy".
You've got to feel sorry for JB .............. She's under extreme pressure with all the hype surrounding her.
Q: How to make Justin Bieber cry?
A: Tell him Santa's not real!
Justin Beiber fell off the ladder trying to reach puberty .
Justin Beiber will star on next transformer movie , his name in transformer will be "Faggatron" .
Q: When will Justin Bieber win the Grammy ?
A: After Justin Bieber hits the puberty , damn he will never win Grammy then.
JB wants new Barbie Doll kit as christmas gift .
ID: 16965
Animal
Q: What do you get when you cross an anteater and a monkey?
A: I haven't a goddamn clue.
+10,000 Jokes