ID: 14599
Animal
A guy was walking around town with a frog growing out of his head. Another man walks up to him and ask him, "What happened to you?"
The frog answered, "Well, it started as a wart on my ass."
ID: 17197
Animal
Swine flu may affect your hearing: you could get crackling in one ear!
ID: 16496
Animal
What is represented by this?
Way
One Way!
ID: 13380
Animal
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." – Unknown
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemmingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." – Anonymous
ID: 15145
Animal
Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m?
Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m.
Why do beavers have flat tails?
Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m!
ID: 15827
Animal
Person A: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person B: Is this a trick question?
ID: 15224
Animal
Are Dogs Welcome?
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel located in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is very well behaved and well groomed. I would like to know if I would be permitted to keep him in my room with me at night."
The hotel owner sent a reply immediately, which said, "I have been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I have never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or anything else. I have never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly, nor have I ever had a dog run out on a hotel bill.
"Yes, indeed," continued his reply, "your dog is most welcome at my hotel. Should your dog be willing to vouch for you, you are welcome to stay here too!"
ID: 16677
Animal
Can you decipher the following common phrase?
AND
ED
Underhanded!
ID: 16633
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
T T T
U I U
L P L
I T I
P O P
S E S
Tiptoe through the tulips!
+10,000 Jokes