ID: 8200
Animal
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter - he won't come, anyway.
ID: 16526
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
Catch 22!
(22 cats).
ID: 6712
Animal
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.
By the time they do arrive, everyone's whipped and hungry. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and realizes that they forgot to bring a bottle opener. Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steady.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless. "I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock.
"Just for that, I'm not going."
ID: 5125
Animal
A dog is a man's best friend because it gives no advice, never tries to borrow money, and has no in-laws.
ID: 5172
Animal
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
ID: 6145
Animal
Q: What do you call it, when a bison gets a loan?
A: A Buffa-loan!
ID: 5716
Animal
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
ID: 2019
Animal
Where does Superman's goldfish live ?
In the superbowl....
ID: 649
Animal
One day Little Red Riding Hood was walking in the woods. She put her head between some bushes and suddenly she sees the wolf with his eyes wide open and red.
She asks him, "Why are your eyes so big, wolf?"
The wolf answers, "Shut up and let me shit in peace!"
+10,000 Jokes