ID: 7103
Animal
One dog said to her pups, "Don't ever bite the hand that feeds you. Any other hand is ok, though."
ID: 15758
Animal
Yo Momma is so smelly that when she entered a pig sty, all the pigs had to evacuate...
ID: 5352
Animal
A man phoned up an exclusive escort agency and asked for a woman.
"No problem," said the receptionist.
"There's just one thing," said the man,"she has to be 6' 6" tall and weigh 48lbs."
"Mmm,let me see --yes we can do that for you, but it will be expensive," said the receptionist.
"That's o.k," said the man.
"When do you want her?".
"Tomorrow night at 7pm," said the man.
The next night the doorbell rings and a painfully thin 6' 6" black woman is standing on his doorstep.
"Come in, take off all your clothes and go down on all fours," said the man.
She complies with his request.
He opens the kitchen door and a scrawny black labrador emerges.
The woman thinks, "Oh shit, what have I let myself in for?"
The man points at his dog and says, "Now that's what you'll look like if you don't eat all your dog food."
ID: 14577
Animal
This is funny
ID: 5293
Animal
Earth Worm: Oh, I wish that darn evil Mister Barney hadn't chopped my brother into two sections!
Other Earth Worm: Why?
Earth Worm: Because, now I have two half brothers!
ID: 16534
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
W O R K
SEESAWS
Overseas work!
ID: 16526
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
Catch 22!
(22 cats).
ID: 986
Animal
One day on a farm a farmer gets a new rooster and puts it in the hen house. The new rooster is talking to the old rooster and the old rooster says, "Just let me have 2 chickens and I'll leave you alone." The young rooster says, "No old man these are my chickens."
So the old rooster says, "Why don't we have a race around the chicken coop to see who deserves the chickens?" The young rooster figuring he is faster agrees, and even desides to give the old rooster a 15 second head start.
So when the race begins the old rooster takes off and 15 seconds later the young rooster begins running. By the time the roosters round the first bend the young rooster has almost caught the old rooster. Then as the go by the house "BANG" the farmer fires his shoot gun and says, "Damn, third gay rooster this month."
ID: 10388
Animal
Once i bought a squirrel and I named it Melinda, and then I gave it food and then it died! Now I have a box named Joice Ann and I gave it some water and it fell down and then it died!
+10,000 Jokes