ID: 12865
Animal
Why do chicken coops have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan.
ID: 11697
Animal
Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it.
We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!
ID: 17688
Animal
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens weren't invented yet.
ID: 11938
Animal
The other day, I saw my friend with a big puffy red nose.
I asked her what happened and she said, "I stopped to smell a brose," then I said, "wait, there's no b in rose!"
She said, "Well, there was in that one!!
ID: 16812
Animal
During a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a third of the remaining apples and he also dozed back to sleep. Finally, Charlie woke up and seeing the others were asleep, took a third of what was left. Of course none of the adventurers knew of the other's antics, so, in the morning, they shared the remaining apples, each receiving sixteen. How many apples were in the crate originally?
162 apples.
Alan hid 54, leaving 108. Brain hid 36, leaving 72. Charlie hid 24, leaving 48. 48 apples were then available to share in the morning.
ID: 16048
Animal
Can you decipher this phrase?
SMOKE
G
Go up in smoke!
ID: 17516
Animal
Q: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you?
A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.
ID: 14115
Animal
In February 1993 a train knocked down and injured an elephant calf in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh. When the next train came along an hour later the calf's mother blocked the track, then banged her forehead against the engine for 15 minutes, until it could no longer run. Then she walked off into the jungle again, leaving about 200 passengers stranded for over five hours.
A man driving to work through the southern desert of Saudi Arabia ran over one of a troupe of monkeys. When he made the return trip later that day, the remaining monkeys were waiting for him. They spotted his car, jumped on it, and smashed the windows with their fists.
ID: 14939
Animal
Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom?
'Cause he's already been spotted!
+10,000 Jokes