ANIMAL

ID: 2421

Animal

Before Hunting

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

"Let us prey."

ID: 14896

Animal

What Do You Get.....

What do you get when you cross an eagle with a jeep and a dog?






A flying car-pet!

ID: 11893

Animal

No Pushing!

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him? I didn't do it on porpoise!

ID: 16809

Animal

Odd One Out

Which word is the odd one out:

football polo badminton baseball golf tennis cricket billiards rugby

Badminton.

This is the only sport which does not use a ball, it uses a shuttlecock.

ID: 12779

Animal

Lapping It Up!

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.

He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 cats."

ID: 17520

Animal

Blue Elephant

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.

ID: 18015

Animal

Buffalo Dad

What did the father buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

- Bison!

ID: 14631

Animal

Fun-damentalist

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.

The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.

"Well," they said, "Let's try this out."

Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"

Quick as you like, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

ID: 15110

Animal

The Baby Camel

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."

A few minutes later, the young camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these long eyelashes?" "They're to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," replies the mother.

"Momma, why do I have these great big humps on my back?" asks the baby camel. "They're to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without eating for long periods," explains the mother.

"So, we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes and these humps to store fat," the young camel says.

"That's right, son," says the mother.

"Then why are we in San Diego Zoo?" asks the baby camel.

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