ID: 15827
Animal
Person A: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person B: Is this a trick question?
ID: 16529
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
pu
Back up!
ID: 17688
Animal
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens weren't invented yet.
ID: 17689
Animal
Why didn't the duck cross the road?
To prove he's no chicken.
ID: 16502
Animal
Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway?
Forrest: I don't know.
Jenny: Take the 'r' out of 'free'. Now, take the 'f' out of 'way'.
Forrest: There's no 'f' in way!
ID: 17685
Animal
Why should not a chicken cross the road?
It would be a fowl proceeding.
ID: 14677
Animal
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."
ID: 16087
Animal
Dogs...
...steal your food.
...eat all of your tennis balls.
...make you pick up their waste products.
...take all of your covers.
...eat out of the trash.
...beg.
...bark loudly at 1:00 in the morning.
...drink out of the toilet, while it still has poo in it.
...have accidents, on your floor.
And you call you dog your BEST friend,
I can't imagine what your other friends do.
ID: 14115
Animal
In February 1993 a train knocked down and injured an elephant calf in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh. When the next train came along an hour later the calf's mother blocked the track, then banged her forehead against the engine for 15 minutes, until it could no longer run. Then she walked off into the jungle again, leaving about 200 passengers stranded for over five hours.
A man driving to work through the southern desert of Saudi Arabia ran over one of a troupe of monkeys. When he made the return trip later that day, the remaining monkeys were waiting for him. They spotted his car, jumped on it, and smashed the windows with their fists.
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