ID: 1702
Animal
Police officer: "Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle".
Dog owner: "Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle".
ID: 12848
Animal
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
ID: 16944
Animal
Mr. Lwin was staring at the cage in the zoo, watching the great cat pace back and forth.
"I wonder what the tiger would say if it could talk," he said to the zookeeper.
The zookeeper replied, "It would probably say, 'Hey dummy, I'm a cheetah!"
ID: 15867
Animal
DON'T CHEAT!
Draw a pig. Yes, that's right.
On a blank piece of paper, draw a pig, then scroll down and read the interpretation of your pig!
Draw your pig first! And don't look at the next part until you are done! It won't be fun if you look first.
Now if you're done...start to scroll down.....
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE DAMN PIG!
ID: 13783
Animal
A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"
The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
ID: 13717
Animal
There was once a very very stupid farmer in Texas. The farmer decided he wanted to raise chickens, so he bought a standard gross of chicks.
He planted the chicks in the field, watered them regularly, but nothing happened. He was a persistent type, though, so he bought another gross of chicks and planted them and cared for them - still nothing.
Finally he decided he needed professional help, so he wrote a letter to the Texas A & M extension service, explaining exactly what he'd done in detail and asking for their advice. About two weeks later he received a letter from A & M, and read it:
"Mr. X, we are unable to diagnose your problem without further information.
Please send a soil sample."
ID: 16632
Animal
Can You Decipher This Phrase?
BALLBBALLABALLSBALLKBALLEBALLTBALL
Basket Balls!
ID: 11971
Animal
How do you make a reindeer fast?
Don't feed it.
ID: 15151
Animal
Is the reason they make oriental flavored noodles for Americans to get back at them for eating our dogs?
+10,000 Jokes