ID: 17518
Animal
Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station?
A: Nothing! He didn't notice.
ID: 10948
Animal
Why wasn't the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck to talk to.
ID: 6787
Animal
My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection.
As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
"Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react.
Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding.
As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.
ID: 4930
Animal
What do you get when you cross a fish and a grizzly?
A Bearacuda.
ID: 6374
Animal
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said, "Sidney, are we the type of snake who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?"
The second snake says, "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
ID: 6145
Animal
Q: What do you call it, when a bison gets a loan?
A: A Buffa-loan!
ID: 6422
Animal
What do elephants always bring on holiday?
A trunk.
ID: 7815
Animal
While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a cow and began a conversation.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
The Indian looked shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
The Indian looks even more shocked.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
The Indian looks extremely shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian
Horse: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."
The Indian looks totally and utterly amazed.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your cow?"
Indian: "Cow liar."
ID: 6941
Animal
A man was watching television when there was a knock on the door. He answered it, but only a snail was there. So he picked it up and threw it into the street.
Two years later, the man heard another knock on the door. He opened the door and it was the snail again. The snail says, "What was that all about?"
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