ID: 11386
Animal
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were alone
Just she and I
Her hair was brown
Her eyes were too
I knew just what
She wanted to do
So with my courage
I did my best
And placed my hand
Upon her breast
I trembled and shook
And felt her heart
Slowly she spread
Her legs apart
I knew she was ready
But I didn't know how
It was my first try
At milking a cow
ID: 17059
Animal
Why did the chicken do a poo right in front of a hole on a really busy footpath?
Because he wanted people to slip on the poo and fall in the hole.
ID: 2007
Animal
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"
One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females.
So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"
ID: 12437
Animal
After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.
"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.
"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."
ID: 2747
Animal
This young girl about 7 year old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school.
Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn't walk the dog for a week or so because it wasn't feeling well.
His daughter became very upset and cried for most of the night.
The next day the father came up with a plan. He put some gasoline on the dogs rear end to hide the smell from the male dogs.
Well when the girl got home she was happy to find that she could now walk her dog again.
About an hour later, the girl returned without the dog.
The father asked, "What on earth has happened to the dog?"
The girl replies, "Well she ran out of gas a few blocks back, and is being pushed home by another dog."
ID: 14852
Animal
Which animal has no teeth?
A gummy bear!
ID: 11311
Animal
What did the fish say when he crashed into a wooden wall?
Beaver damn!
ID: 16852
Animal
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
ID: 8200
Animal
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter - he won't come, anyway.
+10,000 Jokes