ID: 2019
Animal
Where does Superman's goldfish live ?
In the superbowl....
ID: 17807
Animal
What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls?
I do not know but it is on your head.
ID: 12808
Animal
Yo mama so fat when jumps up in the air she gets stuck.
ID: 17526
Animal
Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini?
A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.
ID: 7633
Animal
Some race horses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse breaks in, "Well, in the last 27 races, I've won 19!"
"Oh, that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound has been sitting there, listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed.
"Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
ID: 17197
Animal
Swine flu may affect your hearing: you could get crackling in one ear!
ID: 4453
Animal
How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate its tit a lot!
ID: 3527
Animal
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused.
"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
ID: 3775
Animal
Tired of having to stare at the luscious young kitten on the other side of the chain link fence, bold Tommy Tomcat decided to visit her one day. Settling back on his haunches, he gave a mighty leap and landed on the other side; impressed, the lovely cat sauntered over.
"That was quite a leap," she remarked. "Want to go somewhere and cuddle?"
"Afraid not," said Tommy, a pained expressions on his face. "The fence was higher than I thought."
+10,000 Jokes