ID: 15157
Animal
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: SSCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH...thump.
We shall never know...
ID: 7103
Animal
One dog said to her pups, "Don't ever bite the hand that feeds you. Any other hand is ok, though."
ID: 7028
Animal
aaaaa
ID: 12910
Animal
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.
Pekinese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere.
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway.
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.
Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
ID: 1309
Animal
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
ID: 12974
Animal
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You nique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way!
ID: 13964
Animal
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cows.
Cows who?
No, owls hoo, cows moo.
ID: 4862
Animal
Why don't crabs share?
Because there shelfish!
ID: 14631
Animal
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).
That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
"Well," they said, "Let's try this out."
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as you like, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
+10,000 Jokes