ID: 15398
Animal
Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law -
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
ID: 17544
Animal
Q: What did Tarzan say to Jane when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the elephants.
ID: 13035
Animal
Question: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Answer: Elephino
(Hell-if-I-know)
ID: 11707
Animal
One day a couple of rabbits found themselves being chased by a pack of wolves. They dashed into a thicket, and stood there panting.
"So," gasped one to the other, "do you think we should keep running, or stay here until we outnumber them?"
ID: 4476
Animal
A teacher asked his student:
Give me an example of 6 animals.
The student:
3 Lions, 2 Tigers , and 1 Cheetah !
ID: 9865
Animal
A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a stranger's home for something to drink.
The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.
There was a wee pig running around the kitchen - running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.
The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using"
ID: 12808
Animal
Yo mama so fat when jumps up in the air she gets stuck.
ID: 2747
Animal
This young girl about 7 year old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school.
Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn't walk the dog for a week or so because it wasn't feeling well.
His daughter became very upset and cried for most of the night.
The next day the father came up with a plan. He put some gasoline on the dogs rear end to hide the smell from the male dogs.
Well when the girl got home she was happy to find that she could now walk her dog again.
About an hour later, the girl returned without the dog.
The father asked, "What on earth has happened to the dog?"
The girl replies, "Well she ran out of gas a few blocks back, and is being pushed home by another dog."
ID: 1309
Animal
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
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